Frank Gannucci
02-05-2009, 01:55 PM
"Vacation At Fred's Landing" (1954 version):
(A "real" bear comes to Ed. Ed thinks that it's Ralph in disguise. Ralph is in back of Ed.)
Ralph: "Norton, I am over here."
Ed (yells in fright): "EEE!"
"The Loudspeaker":
Ed: "You got a call from the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, the emperor of all Raccoondoom? I don't believe it."
Ralph: "Sure you don't because you never got a call from him."
Ed: "He doesn't have to call me. He works right beside me in the sewer."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
(Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.)
Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami."
Ed: "What's the clue?"
"Dinner Guest":
Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."
Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."
"A Weighty Problem Part 2":
(Ralph is eating a stick of celery with a fork and knife right by him.)
Alice: "Ralph, how do you like your supper?"
(A pause.)
Ralph (yells): "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THAT WAS MY SUPPER?" (picking up the utensils, yells): "WHAT ARE THESE THINGS FOR, TO COMMIT SUICIDE WITH?"
"Dial J For Janitor":
(Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)
Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A HEADACHE."
Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH."
Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed has been hypnotized to believe he's going to work.)
Great Fatchumara: "You are down in the sewer now."
Ed: "I am down in the sewer now. Prepare to submerge."
(Ed "submerges.")
Ed: "I am now walking in the water." (looking at Ralph): "Look out. There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby Dick."
"Sleppy Time Gal":
(Alice is making the Great Fatchumara, Ralph & Ed think that she is hypnotized.)
G.F.: "Mrs. Kramden, what do you think of your husband?"
Alice: "I don't want him. You can have him. He's too fat for me."
"The Sleepwalker":
Doctor: "Mr. Norton, I want you to count down from 100."
Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
Thelma: "O-KAY"
Ralph: "I said stop saying O-Kay It's very good sir, this happens to be my guest and I am your employer."
Thelma: "Some guest and some employer, The SIMP and the BLIMP!!"
(A "real" bear comes to Ed. Ed thinks that it's Ralph in disguise. Ralph is in back of Ed.)
Ralph: "Norton, I am over here."
Ed (yells in fright): "EEE!"
"The Loudspeaker":
Ed: "You got a call from the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, the emperor of all Raccoondoom? I don't believe it."
Ralph: "Sure you don't because you never got a call from him."
Ed: "He doesn't have to call me. He works right beside me in the sewer."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
(Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.)
Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami."
Ed: "What's the clue?"
"Dinner Guest":
Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."
Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."
"A Weighty Problem Part 2":
(Ralph is eating a stick of celery with a fork and knife right by him.)
Alice: "Ralph, how do you like your supper?"
(A pause.)
Ralph (yells): "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THAT WAS MY SUPPER?" (picking up the utensils, yells): "WHAT ARE THESE THINGS FOR, TO COMMIT SUICIDE WITH?"
"Dial J For Janitor":
(Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)
Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A HEADACHE."
Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH."
Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed has been hypnotized to believe he's going to work.)
Great Fatchumara: "You are down in the sewer now."
Ed: "I am down in the sewer now. Prepare to submerge."
(Ed "submerges.")
Ed: "I am now walking in the water." (looking at Ralph): "Look out. There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby Dick."
"Sleppy Time Gal":
(Alice is making the Great Fatchumara, Ralph & Ed think that she is hypnotized.)
G.F.: "Mrs. Kramden, what do you think of your husband?"
Alice: "I don't want him. You can have him. He's too fat for me."
"The Sleepwalker":
Doctor: "Mr. Norton, I want you to count down from 100."
Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
Thelma: "O-KAY"
Ralph: "I said stop saying O-Kay It's very good sir, this happens to be my guest and I am your employer."
Thelma: "Some guest and some employer, The SIMP and the BLIMP!!"