Frank Gannucci
09-17-2008, 09:09 AM
"Better Living Through TV":
Ralph: "This (the Handy Housewife Helper) is the key to my future. The key to my future."
Alice: "Don't tell me that it has a key for opening the door at Bellevue?"
"Hair-Raising Tale":
(Ralph & Ed are making the hair-making formula in a bowl.)
Ralph: "You stupid stupe. You made me poor the beer in the bowl."
Ed: "Why are you calling me stupid for? I wouldn't have done it."
"Norton Moves In":
(Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.)
Alice: "What happened?"
Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE."
Alice: "So?"
Ralph: "He used me for an ashtray."
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
(Ralph tells Alice that he will get the money for the cottage from his life insurance. Alice thinks that that is crazy.)
Alice: "You got rocks in your head Ralph."
Ralph: "I got rocks in my head? I got rocks in my head? I got nothing in my head."
"Unconventional Behavior":
(Ralph invites Alice to come along so he can get money for the convention. Alice was going to give him the money anyway. The men are upset that they know that Alice, and subsequently Trixie are coming along.)
Ed: "Can I ask you a question? How do you get us in these fixes?"
Ralph: "Very simple. Very simple Norton." (yells): "I HAVE A BIIIIIIG MOUTH!"
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk."
Ralph: "That's not a bad idea."
(Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.)
Ralph: "Okay, let's go."
"Two For The Money":
(Ralph finds out that he lost $200 the lodge had collected.)
Ralph: "Let's not get panicky."
Alice: "Did you put the money in an envelope?"
Ralph: "You're getting panicky."
"Two For The Money":
(Ralph is trying to scrape money to make up for the lodge money he lost.)
Ralph: "All I could scrape together was $6."
Ed: "Why don't you hock Alice's wedding ring?"
Ralph: "Where do you think I got the $6 from?"
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Alice: "Yeah Ralph, tell him how you once saved Jackie Gleason's life."
Ralph: "Well, Jackie Gleason walked across the street, and I stopped for a red light."
(Ralph looks at both Ed & Alice.)
Ralph: "Well, if I had gone through the red light, I would have hit him."
Ed: "You didn't save him. You saved your bus."
Ralph: "This (the Handy Housewife Helper) is the key to my future. The key to my future."
Alice: "Don't tell me that it has a key for opening the door at Bellevue?"
"Hair-Raising Tale":
(Ralph & Ed are making the hair-making formula in a bowl.)
Ralph: "You stupid stupe. You made me poor the beer in the bowl."
Ed: "Why are you calling me stupid for? I wouldn't have done it."
"Norton Moves In":
(Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.)
Alice: "What happened?"
Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE."
Alice: "So?"
Ralph: "He used me for an ashtray."
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
(Ralph tells Alice that he will get the money for the cottage from his life insurance. Alice thinks that that is crazy.)
Alice: "You got rocks in your head Ralph."
Ralph: "I got rocks in my head? I got rocks in my head? I got nothing in my head."
"Unconventional Behavior":
(Ralph invites Alice to come along so he can get money for the convention. Alice was going to give him the money anyway. The men are upset that they know that Alice, and subsequently Trixie are coming along.)
Ed: "Can I ask you a question? How do you get us in these fixes?"
Ralph: "Very simple. Very simple Norton." (yells): "I HAVE A BIIIIIIG MOUTH!"
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk."
Ralph: "That's not a bad idea."
(Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.)
Ralph: "Okay, let's go."
"Two For The Money":
(Ralph finds out that he lost $200 the lodge had collected.)
Ralph: "Let's not get panicky."
Alice: "Did you put the money in an envelope?"
Ralph: "You're getting panicky."
"Two For The Money":
(Ralph is trying to scrape money to make up for the lodge money he lost.)
Ralph: "All I could scrape together was $6."
Ed: "Why don't you hock Alice's wedding ring?"
Ralph: "Where do you think I got the $6 from?"
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Alice: "Yeah Ralph, tell him how you once saved Jackie Gleason's life."
Ralph: "Well, Jackie Gleason walked across the street, and I stopped for a red light."
(Ralph looks at both Ed & Alice.)
Ralph: "Well, if I had gone through the red light, I would have hit him."
Ed: "You didn't save him. You saved your bus."