Frank Gannucci
09-15-2008, 08:36 AM
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault."
(Ralph is referring to the incident where he got stuck between two large pipes because of his weight.)
Alice: "No Ralph, it wasn't your fault. You were just doing your impression of two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
(Ralph wants to talk to Ed's boss in the sewer.)
Ralph: "There isn't anything in this world that is going to stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow."
Alice: "Oh no? There isn't a manhole in this city that you could fit through."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
(Ralph cooks a sorry excuse for oatmeal and serves it to the girls.)
Trixie: "Ed, you try this (oatmeal)."
Ed (looking at the oatmeal): "No, I will bee a gentlemen to wait. I may wait until tomorrow."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
(Ralph is planning on doing the most work when he and Alice go on Beat The Clock.)
Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders."
Alice: "You are carrying the load but it's not on your shoulders."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational."
Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?"
Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this show."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE
DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A
PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Nephew of The Bride":
(Ralph tries to open the window to get Aunt Ethel's milk.)
Ethel: "Pull harder."
Ralph: "If I pull any harder, I will lift the building off the ground."
"King of The Castle":
(Ralph is trying to give Alice the symphony routine. He claims that he is in pain.)
Ralph: "It's my stomach."
Alice (looking at his stomach): "Gee,that is a big problem."
"A Weighty Problem Part 2":
(Alice gives Ralph some celery sticks.)
Alice: "How do you like your supper Ralph?"
Ralph: "My supper? You mean to tell me that that was my supper? What are these things (knife & fork) for, to commit suicide with?"
Ralph: "I was handling that job perfectly. You know what happened today wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault."
(Ralph is referring to the incident where he got stuck between two large pipes because of his weight.)
Alice: "No Ralph, it wasn't your fault. You were just doing your impression of two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):
(Ralph wants to talk to Ed's boss in the sewer.)
Ralph: "There isn't anything in this world that is going to stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow."
Alice: "Oh no? There isn't a manhole in this city that you could fit through."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
(Ralph cooks a sorry excuse for oatmeal and serves it to the girls.)
Trixie: "Ed, you try this (oatmeal)."
Ed (looking at the oatmeal): "No, I will bee a gentlemen to wait. I may wait until tomorrow."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
(Ralph is planning on doing the most work when he and Alice go on Beat The Clock.)
Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders."
Alice: "You are carrying the load but it's not on your shoulders."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational."
Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?"
Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this show."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE
DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A
PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Nephew of The Bride":
(Ralph tries to open the window to get Aunt Ethel's milk.)
Ethel: "Pull harder."
Ralph: "If I pull any harder, I will lift the building off the ground."
"King of The Castle":
(Ralph is trying to give Alice the symphony routine. He claims that he is in pain.)
Ralph: "It's my stomach."
Alice (looking at his stomach): "Gee,that is a big problem."
"A Weighty Problem Part 2":
(Alice gives Ralph some celery sticks.)
Alice: "How do you like your supper Ralph?"
Ralph: "My supper? You mean to tell me that that was my supper? What are these things (knife & fork) for, to commit suicide with?"