Frank Gannucci
09-02-2008, 08:54 AM
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."
Alice: "You don't need anything to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up."
"Young At Heart":
Ed: "As time wore on, I grew older. I matured."
Ralph: "Yeah, now you are a full-grown nut."
"Hero Part 1":
Alice: "Let me ask you something Ralph. WHen was the last time you ever lifted 400 pounds?"
Ed: "This morning when he got out of bed."
"Expectant Father":
Ed: "My little kid grow up from a little guy. Education: Grammer school, high school, then on to college. When he gets out of college and is ready to face the world, I will get him a job with me in the sewer."
Ralph: "When your son graduates from college, you are going to get him a job in the sewer?"
Ed: "Certainly. The sewer accepts college grads."
"Double Anniversary":
Ralph: "Something smells good."
Ed: "It can't be me. I just got through working in the sewer."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Reluctantly, Ralph let the stage manager put lipstick on him so that it will make him look better on the Mike Douglas Show. While the Kramdens & Nortons are on the show, Ralph kisses Alice.)
Alice: "Ralph, are you wearing lipstick?"
Ralph: "Shut up!"
"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":
Ralph: "Can you take a hint?"
Ed: "Yes."
Ralph: "All right. I hate you." (yells): "HATE YOU! HATE YOU! HATE YOU! NOW, GET OUT."
Ed: "All right. What's the hint?"
"Hello Mom":
Ralph: "What are you doing with all of that material? Making a bedspread?"
Alice: "No, I'm taking your pants out again."
"Lawsuit" (Color version):
Ralph: "I am trying to put some weight on my broken leg."
Ed: "You are just the boy that could do it."
Ralph: "Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."
Alice: "You don't need anything to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up."
"Young At Heart":
Ed: "As time wore on, I grew older. I matured."
Ralph: "Yeah, now you are a full-grown nut."
"Hero Part 1":
Alice: "Let me ask you something Ralph. WHen was the last time you ever lifted 400 pounds?"
Ed: "This morning when he got out of bed."
"Expectant Father":
Ed: "My little kid grow up from a little guy. Education: Grammer school, high school, then on to college. When he gets out of college and is ready to face the world, I will get him a job with me in the sewer."
Ralph: "When your son graduates from college, you are going to get him a job in the sewer?"
Ed: "Certainly. The sewer accepts college grads."
"Double Anniversary":
Ralph: "Something smells good."
Ed: "It can't be me. I just got through working in the sewer."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Reluctantly, Ralph let the stage manager put lipstick on him so that it will make him look better on the Mike Douglas Show. While the Kramdens & Nortons are on the show, Ralph kisses Alice.)
Alice: "Ralph, are you wearing lipstick?"
Ralph: "Shut up!"
"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":
Ralph: "Can you take a hint?"
Ed: "Yes."
Ralph: "All right. I hate you." (yells): "HATE YOU! HATE YOU! HATE YOU! NOW, GET OUT."
Ed: "All right. What's the hint?"
"Hello Mom":
Ralph: "What are you doing with all of that material? Making a bedspread?"
Alice: "No, I'm taking your pants out again."
"Lawsuit" (Color version):
Ralph: "I am trying to put some weight on my broken leg."
Ed: "You are just the boy that could do it."