Schmoopie
08-29-2008, 03:24 AM
I have officially seen Jerry's show in Las Vegas!!!!:) He performed at Caesar's Palace on August 8th, in the Colosseum where Celine Dion used to perform.
The show was supposed to start at 7:30pm, but you know how these things are. It didn't really get started until about 7:40. I was a tiny bit disappointed in his opening act; a guy named Mark. I'm sorry I cannot remember the man's last name for the life of me. He was funny, but I was expecting to see Mario Joyner, who had performed with Jerry when I saw his show in Seattle in 2005.
As I said, Mark was funny and he's been on the Tonight Show. Right away, I could tell that this show was going to have a slight edge to it as far as the material goes. It is Vegas after all. He told jokes ranging from his wife's anatomy to filling out forms at the doctor's office. He was only on stage for about 15 minutes....
... and then Jerry came out (to thunderous applause!:clap::clap)! I love how he makes an entrance because it's like he flies onto the stage! He comes out from behind the curtain and kind of slides with his arms extended on either side! Hopefully you get the idea!
Our seats were okay, but they were much better in Seattle. I could "see" Jerry, but not as clearly as the first show. However it was definitely him and he was dressed very nicely as always in a suit and tie.
He started out by doing some stand-up about the war and terrorism. It was funny, but not like his other stuff. The funniest thing he said about terrorism was when he wondered how we can't catch Bin Ladin if we keep getting these videos sent to us. Why doesn't someone start following around the guy with the video camera?!!! :brent
Then he talked about Las Vegas and mentioned that some of his friends in the audience had gotten married that day. He said he likes weddings but he hates the receptions and did some hilarious stuff on weddings, receptions, etc. The classic one about how the bride has to look unique while the groom and attendants dress alike so that if the bride changes her mind, everyone just moves over and she marries the next guy! He talked about how when brides always want a really long train on their gown, but men never ask for an extension of their pants. And also how kids are being forced to carry the heavy train of the bride's dress.
He said that he can't understand why people are in such a big rush to get married and mentioned a couple that had gotten married in Vegas and the bride barely made it into the car before the groom sped away!
Someone in the audience screamed out "I love you, Jerry" and he was so funny with his response..."Well I love you, too!"
He talked about the Haagar Slacks with the expandable waistline and that when you go to a buffet just let it out like a parachute and say "Gimme the desert menu".
He did a few jokes about prescription drugs (the ads they show on TV) and then some about Viagra. Those got a little edgy, but we're talking about Jerry here, so you know it wasn't anything that couldn't be said on "Seinfeld".
Speaking of "Seinfeld" he said that people always ask him what he's doing now that the show is over and he says "Nothing" and then went into a routine about that. I had heard him do that on SNL a few years back when he hosted it.
He talked about how sophisticated technology has become and how things are done for us. He talked about cell phones and how people seem to prefer whomever is on their cell phone than the person right in front of them. Then he did this absolutely hilarious bit about how when cell phone batteries start to die, it drains the person physically. He would start walking really slow and talk slower and slower and then ended up lying on his back on the stage!:rofl:
He talked about phones today and how you can't slam them down anymore if you are mad at someone!
He talked about Blackberry's and about how bathrooms are all automated; like the automatic flushing but yet when you try to use the sink, you have to do "David Copperfield" to get the sink to recognize that your hand is underneath. He wondered why the toilet doesn't explain this to the sink!
He mentioned his mom and how she still drives and that he got her this cataract lens for her windshield so that when people look in the car it looks like a bunch of college mascots with the big heads are driving!
He talked about his mom's walker with hand brakes and thinks she might have been misdiagnosed if people are going so fast they need brakes.
His mom lives in a "minimum security prison" in Florida and he wanted to know "Who's stealing the old people?"
I really like how smooth he is in transitioning one subject to the next. He saved his personal life for last which was my favorite part.
He talked about how he never wanted kids before and would see people pushing strollers, wondering why anyone would want to "ruin their life" like that! Cheesy He said he dresses really bad around the house because that's what dad's are supposed to do-dress in the last good year of their fashion. Like his dad still dresses like it's 1974!
He mentioned his wife and how she will always mimic him when he's talking to her and she uses this really low voice. He said he asked her who she was supposed to be because it certainly wasn't him!
He said that his normal tone of voice wasn't welcome in his house and that every time he speaks his wife says "I don't like your tone" Then he pretended like he had one of those pitch-makers from the Glee Club and hummed a few notes and then asked "is this pitch okay?" I about died laughing when I heard that! :brent:brent:brent
He started talking about his daughter and how when she was two she knew how to lie. When asked if she had a dirty diaper she "said" "I don't know what you mean... why because I had two hands on the coffee table and my eyes were watering?"
He said that age 45 was the Jesus Christ age because when he was single and he told people that he was 45, the response was "Jesus Christ"!:rofl:
He did a lot of stuff in that high pitch tone that is so hilarious on "Seinfeld" I know you all have heard it. That was the way he told most of his jokes which made them even funnier!
He talked about Raisin Bran cereal and how that's what he eats when people don't have anything else in their house. And he moved onto talk about advertising on Raisin Bran boxes and how no one gives a G.... D.... how many raisins their are. They might as well say "All Raisins, ONE FLAKE!"
He did a routine on trash and how he knew it was wrong to throw the wedding album away when he thought his wife was through with it! He said that E-Bay is just a way of mailing each other our crap and how things we buy today are just waiting to be trash eventually. First they are on the table and you love them, then they go to the closet, then you stand on them to get to other things in the closet and finally they end up in the garage where they stay for a loooonnnnngggg time. He said that he doesn't believe the line "You can't take it with you" and says that people should just "Take their crap with them when they die."
He was on for about an hour and when it was over, the house lights immediately came up... so unfortunately, no encore.
I know I'm forgetting some stuff so when I think of it, I'll add it. It was an awesome show and well worth the ::dollar: 110 per ticket that we paid. I know... that sounds like an insane amount of money, but this is Jerry we are talking about!!!!
Andrea
The show was supposed to start at 7:30pm, but you know how these things are. It didn't really get started until about 7:40. I was a tiny bit disappointed in his opening act; a guy named Mark. I'm sorry I cannot remember the man's last name for the life of me. He was funny, but I was expecting to see Mario Joyner, who had performed with Jerry when I saw his show in Seattle in 2005.
As I said, Mark was funny and he's been on the Tonight Show. Right away, I could tell that this show was going to have a slight edge to it as far as the material goes. It is Vegas after all. He told jokes ranging from his wife's anatomy to filling out forms at the doctor's office. He was only on stage for about 15 minutes....
... and then Jerry came out (to thunderous applause!:clap::clap)! I love how he makes an entrance because it's like he flies onto the stage! He comes out from behind the curtain and kind of slides with his arms extended on either side! Hopefully you get the idea!
Our seats were okay, but they were much better in Seattle. I could "see" Jerry, but not as clearly as the first show. However it was definitely him and he was dressed very nicely as always in a suit and tie.
He started out by doing some stand-up about the war and terrorism. It was funny, but not like his other stuff. The funniest thing he said about terrorism was when he wondered how we can't catch Bin Ladin if we keep getting these videos sent to us. Why doesn't someone start following around the guy with the video camera?!!! :brent
Then he talked about Las Vegas and mentioned that some of his friends in the audience had gotten married that day. He said he likes weddings but he hates the receptions and did some hilarious stuff on weddings, receptions, etc. The classic one about how the bride has to look unique while the groom and attendants dress alike so that if the bride changes her mind, everyone just moves over and she marries the next guy! He talked about how when brides always want a really long train on their gown, but men never ask for an extension of their pants. And also how kids are being forced to carry the heavy train of the bride's dress.
He said that he can't understand why people are in such a big rush to get married and mentioned a couple that had gotten married in Vegas and the bride barely made it into the car before the groom sped away!
Someone in the audience screamed out "I love you, Jerry" and he was so funny with his response..."Well I love you, too!"
He talked about the Haagar Slacks with the expandable waistline and that when you go to a buffet just let it out like a parachute and say "Gimme the desert menu".
He did a few jokes about prescription drugs (the ads they show on TV) and then some about Viagra. Those got a little edgy, but we're talking about Jerry here, so you know it wasn't anything that couldn't be said on "Seinfeld".
Speaking of "Seinfeld" he said that people always ask him what he's doing now that the show is over and he says "Nothing" and then went into a routine about that. I had heard him do that on SNL a few years back when he hosted it.
He talked about how sophisticated technology has become and how things are done for us. He talked about cell phones and how people seem to prefer whomever is on their cell phone than the person right in front of them. Then he did this absolutely hilarious bit about how when cell phone batteries start to die, it drains the person physically. He would start walking really slow and talk slower and slower and then ended up lying on his back on the stage!:rofl:
He talked about phones today and how you can't slam them down anymore if you are mad at someone!
He talked about Blackberry's and about how bathrooms are all automated; like the automatic flushing but yet when you try to use the sink, you have to do "David Copperfield" to get the sink to recognize that your hand is underneath. He wondered why the toilet doesn't explain this to the sink!
He mentioned his mom and how she still drives and that he got her this cataract lens for her windshield so that when people look in the car it looks like a bunch of college mascots with the big heads are driving!
He talked about his mom's walker with hand brakes and thinks she might have been misdiagnosed if people are going so fast they need brakes.
His mom lives in a "minimum security prison" in Florida and he wanted to know "Who's stealing the old people?"
I really like how smooth he is in transitioning one subject to the next. He saved his personal life for last which was my favorite part.
He talked about how he never wanted kids before and would see people pushing strollers, wondering why anyone would want to "ruin their life" like that! Cheesy He said he dresses really bad around the house because that's what dad's are supposed to do-dress in the last good year of their fashion. Like his dad still dresses like it's 1974!
He mentioned his wife and how she will always mimic him when he's talking to her and she uses this really low voice. He said he asked her who she was supposed to be because it certainly wasn't him!
He said that his normal tone of voice wasn't welcome in his house and that every time he speaks his wife says "I don't like your tone" Then he pretended like he had one of those pitch-makers from the Glee Club and hummed a few notes and then asked "is this pitch okay?" I about died laughing when I heard that! :brent:brent:brent
He started talking about his daughter and how when she was two she knew how to lie. When asked if she had a dirty diaper she "said" "I don't know what you mean... why because I had two hands on the coffee table and my eyes were watering?"
He said that age 45 was the Jesus Christ age because when he was single and he told people that he was 45, the response was "Jesus Christ"!:rofl:
He did a lot of stuff in that high pitch tone that is so hilarious on "Seinfeld" I know you all have heard it. That was the way he told most of his jokes which made them even funnier!
He talked about Raisin Bran cereal and how that's what he eats when people don't have anything else in their house. And he moved onto talk about advertising on Raisin Bran boxes and how no one gives a G.... D.... how many raisins their are. They might as well say "All Raisins, ONE FLAKE!"
He did a routine on trash and how he knew it was wrong to throw the wedding album away when he thought his wife was through with it! He said that E-Bay is just a way of mailing each other our crap and how things we buy today are just waiting to be trash eventually. First they are on the table and you love them, then they go to the closet, then you stand on them to get to other things in the closet and finally they end up in the garage where they stay for a loooonnnnngggg time. He said that he doesn't believe the line "You can't take it with you" and says that people should just "Take their crap with them when they die."
He was on for about an hour and when it was over, the house lights immediately came up... so unfortunately, no encore.
I know I'm forgetting some stuff so when I think of it, I'll add it. It was an awesome show and well worth the ::dollar: 110 per ticket that we paid. I know... that sounds like an insane amount of money, but this is Jerry we are talking about!!!!
Andrea