Frank Gannucci
08-22-2008, 07:39 AM
Episode #183
TV: Hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to "Sleepy Time Gal" & "Boy Next Door."
Color Episode Title: "Follow The Boys."
Lost Episode Title: "Boys & Girls Together."
In the Nick Clooney intro, he says that while life pretty much was the same for the Kramdens & Nortons during the time this episode was made (which was in '68), the actors could not escape what was going on outside the studio. He talks about Martin Luther King Jr. & Robert Kennedy had been killed and because of that there were riots in 125 cities. There was the Vietnam War and for the first time, Yale admitted women. He says that while all this was going on, it was great to watch these episodes.
Ed is outside. He sits down on the stairs of 328 Chauncey Street. He meets a guy named Mr. Fallon who is moving in 3B. Ed: You got a great apartment. Your window overlooks a brick wall." Mr. Fallon is putting some of his furniture (including a chair) on the street. Ed sits down on the chair. Ed is about to do a crossword puzzle when Alice comes out. Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one. House: H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They are not challenging." Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y." This crossword puzzle dialog was taken right from the episode: "Hello Mom." Ed (reading): "'Six-letter word for cattle.' Moocow." Alice: The word you are looking for is Bovine." Ralph comes by and sees them. Alice & Ed greet Ralph. Ed (to Ralph): "How now brown bovine." Alice: That is a new word he just learned." Ralph: "Now, he knows three of them." Ralph learns of the Fallons moving in. Alice is planning to go out to the movies with Ralph. Ralph has other plans. He and Ed are bowling for The Hurricanes. Alice is upset. Ed: "Ralph, what's a three-letter word for overweight." Ralph: "I don't know." They still argue while Ed thinks of the word 'Fat' for his crossword puzzle. Ralph says that this is an important game. It's the playoffs. If they win this "very important" game, the team will tie another team for ninth place. Alice: "La-te-da." Alice wants to go to the movies. Ralph calls Alice selfish. According to Ralph, all she ever thinks of is herself and he has a lot of people to think about. Gee, Ralph isn't selfish? Ralph: "The Hurricanes need me." Alice: "I feel sorry for them because the biggest wind of them all isn't going to be there." Ralph: "The biggest wind of them all is going to be there." Ed: "What's a three-letter word for insect?" Ralph: "Bug." Ralph says that he is the anchorman of his team. Alice: "Of what? The Queen Mary?" Ralph is more upset. Ed says that the word "Bug" doesn't fit and it has to end with a "T". Ralph says to put down "nat." Alice says that "gnat" is four letters. Ralph says that Ed to put down "gnat" because the spelling is correct. Ed agrees because he has a co-worker who goes by the name of Nat. He is Nat Burnbaum. Alice says that the word he is looking for is "ant." Ed agrees. Ralph orders Ed to put down "nat." Ralph orders Alice to fix his supper. Alice, in a bad mood, goes upstairs. Ralph & Ed sing: "What's More Important Than That?" in which there is a mention of the Yankees & Mets.
At the Kramden apartment, Alice is cooking dinner. Ralph gets ready to bowl. Alice is still steamed. She still wants to go to the movies. Ralph only takes her to the movies once in a blue moon. Ralph needs his bowling socks. Alice says that they are out on the line getting dry. Alice wonders why he can't use normal socks. Ralph says that they are just as important as bowling shoes. Ralph recites something to Alice that his Dad said to him: "For one of a nail, a shoe is lost. For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a battle was lost. And for one of a battle, a war was lost. And for one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost." Alice: "Why don't you get lost?" Alice goes upstairs to get the wash from the clothesline. Ed comes down. Ed says that Alice is selfish and self-centered. The Fallons knock on the door. Ralph & Ed allow them to come in. They are returning the casserole dish they borrowed from Alice and thank her for being so thoughtful. They loved her frank and beans that she made for them. Alice knocks on the door with the basket full of wash. Ralph opens the door. Mr. Fallon offers to help Alice with the wash and says that she shouldn't carry a heavy load like that. Alice agrees and wishes someone else around here was more thoughtful. Ralph says that if he told her Alice once, he told her a million times not to carry a wash like that in one trip, but in two trips. Ralph pulls a chair so Alice can sit down. This is taken straight from the episode: "Mama Loves Mambo." Ralph & Ed invite Mr. Fallon to join them and Norton for pool, bowling, and lodge meetings, but Fallon is busy all the nights Ralph and Norton go out together--he spends all those nights with his wife. They have been together and have never been separated for more than 17 years. Ed: "Just like me & Ralph." The Fallons leave and Ralph & Ed make fun of Mr. Fallon. Alice agrees with what Mr. Fallon does with his wife. The boys leave.
The next day, Alice is all dressed up. Alice & Trixie are planning to bring romance back to Chauncey Street by being as romantic as possible for their husbands. Trixie gives Alice some perfume to borrow. Alice says that when Ralph sees her, he is going to want to stay home tonight. Trixie is cooking Ed's favorite dinner Trixie leaves. Alice turns off the lights, and with the candlelights lit, welcomes Ralph. Ralph doesn't know what to make of all this. Ralph: "So, you did it again? You forgot to pay the electric light bill." Alice says that with the lights off and candlelight lit, it is romantic. Ralph: "Who do you think we are, Rossaland Russell and Evelyn Douglas?" Ralph turns on the lights. Alice tries to do more romantic things for Ralph like kisses and a bushel of compliments. Ralph says that there is something going on. Ralph: "Ah-ha! Your mother isn't going to set foot in this house." Alice says that she isn't and since he's been gone so long, she misses him something terrible. Alice is cooking a roast-beef dinner for Ralph. Alice cooks him all his favorites like llama beans, baked potatoes and for dessert, she made him a pizza. Ralph is more suspicious and Alice says that there is no reason for him being suspicious. Alice brings out the appetizer: minced eel and honeycomb tripe. Ralph hates the idea of having that for an appetizer. Alice puts on romantic music and dances like a Spanish dancer (the music has clip-clopping in the background), but Ralph doesn't change. He doesn't dance and says to Alice: "You are loaded." Ralph is going to make believe that he is just came in and he says that he wants no kisses, no sweet-talk and no dancing. This is almost what he said to Alice in "TV or Not TV." Ralph: "You want to wiggle? Wiggle over to the stove and get my supper." Alice is upset that after going all out, Ralph has not started to become more romantic. She puts a load of bread into her hand and puts it in Ralph's mouth. The image of Ralph with a load of bread in his mouth can be seen in The Honeymooners Companion Book. Soon she is pouring out seventeen years of frustration. Alice is complaining about him doing pie-eating contests, Raccoon meetings and him playing Skee-Ball tournaments. Gee, a Skee-Ball tournament. I didn't know that they EVER existed. Alice says that she should have known better when he brought a bowling ball on their honeymoon. Ralph is now pouring out his seventeen years of frustration. Ralph: "It's the money that I won in the Skee-Ball tournaments that practically furnished this whole apartment. It's the prizes that I won in the pie-eating contest that got you that dress. What do I have to show for it?" (yells): "DON'T YOU DARE ALICE!" Alice doesn't mind that he goes out for bowling, shooting pool etc. But from now on, he is going to go out with Ed one night a week. The other nights, Ralph can have his fun by playing pool, going bowling etc but she is going along. Ralph: "They said that it wouldn't happen, but it has. The honeymoon is over." Ralph goes into the bedroom.
The next day, Alice is playing checkers. She says that it is Ralph's turn. Ralph is in the bedroom. Every time it's his turn, he walks out, makes his move and walks back into the bedroom. Alice wins. Ralph: "Let's celebrate. You go out to the movies and I'll shoot pool." They will play another game. Ralph is going nuts and he is now ready to play Russian roulette. Alice suggest them talk to each other. Ralph: "What have we got in common?" Ralph says that what they are doing is dangerous and by spending this much time together, they may find out that they hate each other. Alice: "You can leave anytime, but as long as you take me with you." Alice is going out to buy some popcorn for them to eat. She leaves. Ed comes down. He is desperate to get away from Trixie. Ed is going to borrow Ralph's monopoly game. Ed says that Trixie is dressed as a Japanese woman and is running around trying to kiss him and that is why he is running away. If a casual fan who never watched this show saw this, they might assume that Ed is gay. Ralph says that it is murder what he is going through with Alice. Ralph is invoking the Constitution and his right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Ed: "But the marriage license is an amendment to the Constitution." Ed has an idea: Tonight, all four of them will go out and him & Ralph will walk faster than the girls and eventually the girls will lose them." Ralph thinks that that idea is stupid. Alice and Trixie have said they want to spend time with their husbands but not spoil their fun, so Ralph figures the way for him and Norton to win back their freedom is to keep the girls out so late that they ask to go home, thus "spoiling" their husbands' night out and disqualifying themselves from participating in the boys' activities. Trixie comes down, costume and all. Trixie: "Come on, lover boy." Ed: "Save me Ralph. I'm a sex symbol." Ralph purposes the idea of all of them going out tonight. Trixie thinks that it is great. Alice comes home and gets told of the idea. She thinks that it is great too. They all sing: "A Night to Remember" in which they step off the set.
Hours later--after pool, rowing boats, visiting Roseland and Coney Island, and bowling--the girls are invigorated and Ralph is a walking zombie. They stop in a French restaurant. Ralph is having a lot of trouble staying awake. Ed is invigorated. The girls notice that Ralph is tired and think that they should go home. Ed says that they are spoiling their fun. Ed: "We are staying out all night until one of us drops." They order food, but Ralph wants chicken chow-mien, egg roll, and some fried rice. Ed tells Ralph that he is in a Mexican restaurant despite the fact that one of the girls a few minutes ago said to the waiter: Merci. Ralph now says he wants chicken chow-mien, egg roll and some enchiladas (sp?) Alice says that it's no use. Alice says that he will take him home right now. Ed: "You girls can't keep up the pace with us." Trixie agrees. The girls leave. The boys have won. Ralph (probably half-conscious, says to Ed): "Baby, you're the greatest." Much to Ed's chagrin, Ralph hugs him. The boys leave.
At the curtain call, Jackie says that the last scene that they did had to be rushed at the moment that they were doing it due to the laughter being better than they thought it would be. Jackie says that it is a pleasure to perform in front of a Miami Beach audience and introduces the cast.
Episode #184
DVD: Chances are this episode won't be released.
Color & Lost Episode Title: "Six Months To Live."
Classic 39 Episode Title: "A Matter of Life & Death."
I have not seen the 60s version, but I am assuming it's the same as previous ones. This is also a color episode that is very similar to a Classic 39 title. TV.com says that this episode is the same as “A Matter of Life & Death.” That is not right.
Alice is home. Trixie visits. Alice is talking about her mother's dog being sick and having to be taken to the doctor. It costs Alice $10. It costed more to have the doctor give the dog a check-up then it did Ralph when he recently visited the doctor.
Ralph and Ed come in. Ed wants a kiss from Trixie. But she says no. One of the reasons is that he worked in the sewer all day. Trixie goes upstairs. Ralph tells a story that while he was on the bus today, he met a man who said that he was George Washington. The man annoyed Ralph and the customers for a while so Ralph got him off the bus by stopping sand saying: ‘This Is Valley Forge.’” Alice leaves to go get the wash. Ed asks Ralph if he wants to go see a movie tonight. Ralph says no. He thinks that there is something wrong with him since he went to the doctor. The telegram is sent in. Ralph gets the telegram from the delivery man and when the man holds out his hand expecting a tip, Ralph says: "Your hand is very dirty." Ralph: “I hope there is something wrong with me. That way, I can go down to Paul’s Landing and do some fishing.” Doesn’t Ralph know that when you are sick and have to stay at home from your job, you shouldn’t go on vacation? Ralph reads the telegram aloud to Ed. Ralph: “A severe case of manochromia exists. This is the type of disease that normally affects Boxers. The signs are: blue tongue, hair falling out and irritability. Keep him away from your mother as people will become vulnerable to the disease he is carrying." He continues reading the telegram. Ralph thinks that the letter is about him and he is dying. Ed: "Doctors can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine, the doctor gave him six months to live. He lived for almost eight months." In 2002, during the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special, they played clips from versions of this scene of this episode and played them in a collage format like they showed Ralph receiving the telegram in the second version of this episode and then in the third version, they showed Ralph saying to the man: "Your hand is very dirty." They continued doing this until Ralph finished the letter. Ralph blames the disease on his job. Ralph: “I am headed up to that big bus depot in the sky.” Ralph thought he would never go out this way. It’s been a real struggle ever since he was born according to him. He can’t believe the way he is going out. Ed leave, but not after asking Ralph what size bowling shoes he wears.
Alice comes down. She sings: “I am walking alone.” Ralph (yells): “WILL YOU STOP SINGING THAT SONG?” Alice doesn’t comply and if she wanted to, she will sing it for the next six months. Ralph looks at his tongue in the mirror to see if it is blue. Ralph: “I just want to look at my tongue.” Alice: “Why don’t you go down to the butcher’s? They have a lot of them.” After that, he asks for a saucer of warm milk and he wants it in his bedroom. Alice: “One of these days, they are going to take you away.” Ralph: “That is right.” Ralph wants Alice to sit down. Ralph wants to talk to her. Ralph: “I want a man-to-man conversation with you. He talks about would she marry another guy if Ralph died. Alice: “No, unless the right guy came along and I was lonely.” Ralph can’t blame her because she is in the prime of life and he is going to die soon. He then talks about what it would be like if she met another guy after Ralph died. Ralph: “When I die, bury me in my overcoat.” Alice: “Don’t worry. You are strong as a horse.” Ralph: “I suppose you never saw a dead horse.” Alice: “Now that you mentioned it, there is a resemblance.” Ralph: “You try to steam me. YOU GOT ME STEAMED. I tried to save you some aggravation. Read that (the telegram.)” She does. She laughs uncontrollably while Ralph thinks that she has no heart. Alice tells him that he is not dying and this telegram is for mom's dog. She explains the significance of the telegram. Ralph is happy that he is not dying after all. He and Alice laugh together. Ralph: “You are married to the World’s No. 1 Maniac.” Alice: “I love my maniac.” They hug and kiss.
TV: Hour (edited)
DVD: Attached to "Sleepy Time Gal" & "Boy Next Door."
Color Episode Title: "Follow The Boys."
Lost Episode Title: "Boys & Girls Together."
In the Nick Clooney intro, he says that while life pretty much was the same for the Kramdens & Nortons during the time this episode was made (which was in '68), the actors could not escape what was going on outside the studio. He talks about Martin Luther King Jr. & Robert Kennedy had been killed and because of that there were riots in 125 cities. There was the Vietnam War and for the first time, Yale admitted women. He says that while all this was going on, it was great to watch these episodes.
Ed is outside. He sits down on the stairs of 328 Chauncey Street. He meets a guy named Mr. Fallon who is moving in 3B. Ed: You got a great apartment. Your window overlooks a brick wall." Mr. Fallon is putting some of his furniture (including a chair) on the street. Ed sits down on the chair. Ed is about to do a crossword puzzle when Alice comes out. Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one. House: H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They are not challenging." Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y." This crossword puzzle dialog was taken right from the episode: "Hello Mom." Ed (reading): "'Six-letter word for cattle.' Moocow." Alice: The word you are looking for is Bovine." Ralph comes by and sees them. Alice & Ed greet Ralph. Ed (to Ralph): "How now brown bovine." Alice: That is a new word he just learned." Ralph: "Now, he knows three of them." Ralph learns of the Fallons moving in. Alice is planning to go out to the movies with Ralph. Ralph has other plans. He and Ed are bowling for The Hurricanes. Alice is upset. Ed: "Ralph, what's a three-letter word for overweight." Ralph: "I don't know." They still argue while Ed thinks of the word 'Fat' for his crossword puzzle. Ralph says that this is an important game. It's the playoffs. If they win this "very important" game, the team will tie another team for ninth place. Alice: "La-te-da." Alice wants to go to the movies. Ralph calls Alice selfish. According to Ralph, all she ever thinks of is herself and he has a lot of people to think about. Gee, Ralph isn't selfish? Ralph: "The Hurricanes need me." Alice: "I feel sorry for them because the biggest wind of them all isn't going to be there." Ralph: "The biggest wind of them all is going to be there." Ed: "What's a three-letter word for insect?" Ralph: "Bug." Ralph says that he is the anchorman of his team. Alice: "Of what? The Queen Mary?" Ralph is more upset. Ed says that the word "Bug" doesn't fit and it has to end with a "T". Ralph says to put down "nat." Alice says that "gnat" is four letters. Ralph says that Ed to put down "gnat" because the spelling is correct. Ed agrees because he has a co-worker who goes by the name of Nat. He is Nat Burnbaum. Alice says that the word he is looking for is "ant." Ed agrees. Ralph orders Ed to put down "nat." Ralph orders Alice to fix his supper. Alice, in a bad mood, goes upstairs. Ralph & Ed sing: "What's More Important Than That?" in which there is a mention of the Yankees & Mets.
At the Kramden apartment, Alice is cooking dinner. Ralph gets ready to bowl. Alice is still steamed. She still wants to go to the movies. Ralph only takes her to the movies once in a blue moon. Ralph needs his bowling socks. Alice says that they are out on the line getting dry. Alice wonders why he can't use normal socks. Ralph says that they are just as important as bowling shoes. Ralph recites something to Alice that his Dad said to him: "For one of a nail, a shoe is lost. For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a battle was lost. And for one of a battle, a war was lost. And for one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost." Alice: "Why don't you get lost?" Alice goes upstairs to get the wash from the clothesline. Ed comes down. Ed says that Alice is selfish and self-centered. The Fallons knock on the door. Ralph & Ed allow them to come in. They are returning the casserole dish they borrowed from Alice and thank her for being so thoughtful. They loved her frank and beans that she made for them. Alice knocks on the door with the basket full of wash. Ralph opens the door. Mr. Fallon offers to help Alice with the wash and says that she shouldn't carry a heavy load like that. Alice agrees and wishes someone else around here was more thoughtful. Ralph says that if he told her Alice once, he told her a million times not to carry a wash like that in one trip, but in two trips. Ralph pulls a chair so Alice can sit down. This is taken straight from the episode: "Mama Loves Mambo." Ralph & Ed invite Mr. Fallon to join them and Norton for pool, bowling, and lodge meetings, but Fallon is busy all the nights Ralph and Norton go out together--he spends all those nights with his wife. They have been together and have never been separated for more than 17 years. Ed: "Just like me & Ralph." The Fallons leave and Ralph & Ed make fun of Mr. Fallon. Alice agrees with what Mr. Fallon does with his wife. The boys leave.
The next day, Alice is all dressed up. Alice & Trixie are planning to bring romance back to Chauncey Street by being as romantic as possible for their husbands. Trixie gives Alice some perfume to borrow. Alice says that when Ralph sees her, he is going to want to stay home tonight. Trixie is cooking Ed's favorite dinner Trixie leaves. Alice turns off the lights, and with the candlelights lit, welcomes Ralph. Ralph doesn't know what to make of all this. Ralph: "So, you did it again? You forgot to pay the electric light bill." Alice says that with the lights off and candlelight lit, it is romantic. Ralph: "Who do you think we are, Rossaland Russell and Evelyn Douglas?" Ralph turns on the lights. Alice tries to do more romantic things for Ralph like kisses and a bushel of compliments. Ralph says that there is something going on. Ralph: "Ah-ha! Your mother isn't going to set foot in this house." Alice says that she isn't and since he's been gone so long, she misses him something terrible. Alice is cooking a roast-beef dinner for Ralph. Alice cooks him all his favorites like llama beans, baked potatoes and for dessert, she made him a pizza. Ralph is more suspicious and Alice says that there is no reason for him being suspicious. Alice brings out the appetizer: minced eel and honeycomb tripe. Ralph hates the idea of having that for an appetizer. Alice puts on romantic music and dances like a Spanish dancer (the music has clip-clopping in the background), but Ralph doesn't change. He doesn't dance and says to Alice: "You are loaded." Ralph is going to make believe that he is just came in and he says that he wants no kisses, no sweet-talk and no dancing. This is almost what he said to Alice in "TV or Not TV." Ralph: "You want to wiggle? Wiggle over to the stove and get my supper." Alice is upset that after going all out, Ralph has not started to become more romantic. She puts a load of bread into her hand and puts it in Ralph's mouth. The image of Ralph with a load of bread in his mouth can be seen in The Honeymooners Companion Book. Soon she is pouring out seventeen years of frustration. Alice is complaining about him doing pie-eating contests, Raccoon meetings and him playing Skee-Ball tournaments. Gee, a Skee-Ball tournament. I didn't know that they EVER existed. Alice says that she should have known better when he brought a bowling ball on their honeymoon. Ralph is now pouring out his seventeen years of frustration. Ralph: "It's the money that I won in the Skee-Ball tournaments that practically furnished this whole apartment. It's the prizes that I won in the pie-eating contest that got you that dress. What do I have to show for it?" (yells): "DON'T YOU DARE ALICE!" Alice doesn't mind that he goes out for bowling, shooting pool etc. But from now on, he is going to go out with Ed one night a week. The other nights, Ralph can have his fun by playing pool, going bowling etc but she is going along. Ralph: "They said that it wouldn't happen, but it has. The honeymoon is over." Ralph goes into the bedroom.
The next day, Alice is playing checkers. She says that it is Ralph's turn. Ralph is in the bedroom. Every time it's his turn, he walks out, makes his move and walks back into the bedroom. Alice wins. Ralph: "Let's celebrate. You go out to the movies and I'll shoot pool." They will play another game. Ralph is going nuts and he is now ready to play Russian roulette. Alice suggest them talk to each other. Ralph: "What have we got in common?" Ralph says that what they are doing is dangerous and by spending this much time together, they may find out that they hate each other. Alice: "You can leave anytime, but as long as you take me with you." Alice is going out to buy some popcorn for them to eat. She leaves. Ed comes down. He is desperate to get away from Trixie. Ed is going to borrow Ralph's monopoly game. Ed says that Trixie is dressed as a Japanese woman and is running around trying to kiss him and that is why he is running away. If a casual fan who never watched this show saw this, they might assume that Ed is gay. Ralph says that it is murder what he is going through with Alice. Ralph is invoking the Constitution and his right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Ed: "But the marriage license is an amendment to the Constitution." Ed has an idea: Tonight, all four of them will go out and him & Ralph will walk faster than the girls and eventually the girls will lose them." Ralph thinks that that idea is stupid. Alice and Trixie have said they want to spend time with their husbands but not spoil their fun, so Ralph figures the way for him and Norton to win back their freedom is to keep the girls out so late that they ask to go home, thus "spoiling" their husbands' night out and disqualifying themselves from participating in the boys' activities. Trixie comes down, costume and all. Trixie: "Come on, lover boy." Ed: "Save me Ralph. I'm a sex symbol." Ralph purposes the idea of all of them going out tonight. Trixie thinks that it is great. Alice comes home and gets told of the idea. She thinks that it is great too. They all sing: "A Night to Remember" in which they step off the set.
Hours later--after pool, rowing boats, visiting Roseland and Coney Island, and bowling--the girls are invigorated and Ralph is a walking zombie. They stop in a French restaurant. Ralph is having a lot of trouble staying awake. Ed is invigorated. The girls notice that Ralph is tired and think that they should go home. Ed says that they are spoiling their fun. Ed: "We are staying out all night until one of us drops." They order food, but Ralph wants chicken chow-mien, egg roll, and some fried rice. Ed tells Ralph that he is in a Mexican restaurant despite the fact that one of the girls a few minutes ago said to the waiter: Merci. Ralph now says he wants chicken chow-mien, egg roll and some enchiladas (sp?) Alice says that it's no use. Alice says that he will take him home right now. Ed: "You girls can't keep up the pace with us." Trixie agrees. The girls leave. The boys have won. Ralph (probably half-conscious, says to Ed): "Baby, you're the greatest." Much to Ed's chagrin, Ralph hugs him. The boys leave.
At the curtain call, Jackie says that the last scene that they did had to be rushed at the moment that they were doing it due to the laughter being better than they thought it would be. Jackie says that it is a pleasure to perform in front of a Miami Beach audience and introduces the cast.
Episode #184
DVD: Chances are this episode won't be released.
Color & Lost Episode Title: "Six Months To Live."
Classic 39 Episode Title: "A Matter of Life & Death."
I have not seen the 60s version, but I am assuming it's the same as previous ones. This is also a color episode that is very similar to a Classic 39 title. TV.com says that this episode is the same as “A Matter of Life & Death.” That is not right.
Alice is home. Trixie visits. Alice is talking about her mother's dog being sick and having to be taken to the doctor. It costs Alice $10. It costed more to have the doctor give the dog a check-up then it did Ralph when he recently visited the doctor.
Ralph and Ed come in. Ed wants a kiss from Trixie. But she says no. One of the reasons is that he worked in the sewer all day. Trixie goes upstairs. Ralph tells a story that while he was on the bus today, he met a man who said that he was George Washington. The man annoyed Ralph and the customers for a while so Ralph got him off the bus by stopping sand saying: ‘This Is Valley Forge.’” Alice leaves to go get the wash. Ed asks Ralph if he wants to go see a movie tonight. Ralph says no. He thinks that there is something wrong with him since he went to the doctor. The telegram is sent in. Ralph gets the telegram from the delivery man and when the man holds out his hand expecting a tip, Ralph says: "Your hand is very dirty." Ralph: “I hope there is something wrong with me. That way, I can go down to Paul’s Landing and do some fishing.” Doesn’t Ralph know that when you are sick and have to stay at home from your job, you shouldn’t go on vacation? Ralph reads the telegram aloud to Ed. Ralph: “A severe case of manochromia exists. This is the type of disease that normally affects Boxers. The signs are: blue tongue, hair falling out and irritability. Keep him away from your mother as people will become vulnerable to the disease he is carrying." He continues reading the telegram. Ralph thinks that the letter is about him and he is dying. Ed: "Doctors can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine, the doctor gave him six months to live. He lived for almost eight months." In 2002, during the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special, they played clips from versions of this scene of this episode and played them in a collage format like they showed Ralph receiving the telegram in the second version of this episode and then in the third version, they showed Ralph saying to the man: "Your hand is very dirty." They continued doing this until Ralph finished the letter. Ralph blames the disease on his job. Ralph: “I am headed up to that big bus depot in the sky.” Ralph thought he would never go out this way. It’s been a real struggle ever since he was born according to him. He can’t believe the way he is going out. Ed leave, but not after asking Ralph what size bowling shoes he wears.
Alice comes down. She sings: “I am walking alone.” Ralph (yells): “WILL YOU STOP SINGING THAT SONG?” Alice doesn’t comply and if she wanted to, she will sing it for the next six months. Ralph looks at his tongue in the mirror to see if it is blue. Ralph: “I just want to look at my tongue.” Alice: “Why don’t you go down to the butcher’s? They have a lot of them.” After that, he asks for a saucer of warm milk and he wants it in his bedroom. Alice: “One of these days, they are going to take you away.” Ralph: “That is right.” Ralph wants Alice to sit down. Ralph wants to talk to her. Ralph: “I want a man-to-man conversation with you. He talks about would she marry another guy if Ralph died. Alice: “No, unless the right guy came along and I was lonely.” Ralph can’t blame her because she is in the prime of life and he is going to die soon. He then talks about what it would be like if she met another guy after Ralph died. Ralph: “When I die, bury me in my overcoat.” Alice: “Don’t worry. You are strong as a horse.” Ralph: “I suppose you never saw a dead horse.” Alice: “Now that you mentioned it, there is a resemblance.” Ralph: “You try to steam me. YOU GOT ME STEAMED. I tried to save you some aggravation. Read that (the telegram.)” She does. She laughs uncontrollably while Ralph thinks that she has no heart. Alice tells him that he is not dying and this telegram is for mom's dog. She explains the significance of the telegram. Ralph is happy that he is not dying after all. He and Alice laugh together. Ralph: “You are married to the World’s No. 1 Maniac.” Alice: “I love my maniac.” They hug and kiss.