Frank Gannucci
08-13-2008, 08:03 AM
"Follow The Boys":
(Ed just offered Ralph an idea to get away from the girls later on that night.)
Ralph: "That is the stupidest idea I ever heard."
Ed: "That is not as stupid as mailing a letter without no postage just because nobody is looking."
Ralph: "When did I do that?"
Ed: "You didn't. I did and at the time, you said that that was the stupidest thing that you ever heard."
Ralph: "Well, it was."
Ed: "So, don't pick on this idea then."
"Hair To A Fortune":
(Ed is gving the bottles to Ralph and saying what each and every bottle has. He picks up one of the bottles.)
Ed: "This is a tough one. 'Oliveoil.'"
(Ralph picks up the bottle and looks at the label.)
Ralph: "'Oliveoil?'" (yells): "THAT'S OLIVE OIL."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed is hypnotized. He is at his job.)
Ed: "I am walking around in the water." (looking at Ralph): "Look out! There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby."
Ralph: "If he wasn't under a spell, I would fracture his skull."
"Funny Money":
(Ralph said to Alice that all the bad things that had happened were nothing.)
Alice: "What about quitting your job Ralph or was that nothing?"
Ralph: "I forgot about that."
Alice: "I guess you forgot that all this expensive stuff that you bought has to go back too. Every bit of it except for your suits Ralph. The tailor can't take those back. He doesn't know of any ELEPHANTS that need a new wardrobe."
"Alice & The Blonde":
(Alice catches Ralph coming home late.)
Alice: "Do you know what time it is Ralph?"
Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11."
Alice: "Yeah, it's three hours after 11."
"A Matter of Record":
Ralph: "Your mother is a blabbermouth. A blabbermouth."
Alice: "Ralph, I told you I don't want you calling her that."
Ralph: "All right. You are an expert on crossword puzzles. Give me another word for 'blabbermouth.'"
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ralph: "Norton, look me all over. Now describe my build to me."
Ed: "Well, if I were to describe your build I would say you have well-developed muscles, good bone structure, very good bone structure, fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat."
"Cupid Part 1":
Herman: "I still have our class picture Ralph. You were in the first row."
Ed: "In the first row, he must have BEEN the first row."
"Cupid Part 2":
(Ralph thinks that Alice has left him.)
Ralph: "Everything in here reminds me of her. The potatos she peels, the frigidare she fixes, the floor she scrubs, the dishes she washes.
Norton, why did she leave me?"
Ed: "You just gave four very good reasons."
(Ed just offered Ralph an idea to get away from the girls later on that night.)
Ralph: "That is the stupidest idea I ever heard."
Ed: "That is not as stupid as mailing a letter without no postage just because nobody is looking."
Ralph: "When did I do that?"
Ed: "You didn't. I did and at the time, you said that that was the stupidest thing that you ever heard."
Ralph: "Well, it was."
Ed: "So, don't pick on this idea then."
"Hair To A Fortune":
(Ed is gving the bottles to Ralph and saying what each and every bottle has. He picks up one of the bottles.)
Ed: "This is a tough one. 'Oliveoil.'"
(Ralph picks up the bottle and looks at the label.)
Ralph: "'Oliveoil?'" (yells): "THAT'S OLIVE OIL."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed is hypnotized. He is at his job.)
Ed: "I am walking around in the water." (looking at Ralph): "Look out! There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby."
Ralph: "If he wasn't under a spell, I would fracture his skull."
"Funny Money":
(Ralph said to Alice that all the bad things that had happened were nothing.)
Alice: "What about quitting your job Ralph or was that nothing?"
Ralph: "I forgot about that."
Alice: "I guess you forgot that all this expensive stuff that you bought has to go back too. Every bit of it except for your suits Ralph. The tailor can't take those back. He doesn't know of any ELEPHANTS that need a new wardrobe."
"Alice & The Blonde":
(Alice catches Ralph coming home late.)
Alice: "Do you know what time it is Ralph?"
Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11."
Alice: "Yeah, it's three hours after 11."
"A Matter of Record":
Ralph: "Your mother is a blabbermouth. A blabbermouth."
Alice: "Ralph, I told you I don't want you calling her that."
Ralph: "All right. You are an expert on crossword puzzles. Give me another word for 'blabbermouth.'"
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ralph: "Norton, look me all over. Now describe my build to me."
Ed: "Well, if I were to describe your build I would say you have well-developed muscles, good bone structure, very good bone structure, fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat."
"Cupid Part 1":
Herman: "I still have our class picture Ralph. You were in the first row."
Ed: "In the first row, he must have BEEN the first row."
"Cupid Part 2":
(Ralph thinks that Alice has left him.)
Ralph: "Everything in here reminds me of her. The potatos she peels, the frigidare she fixes, the floor she scrubs, the dishes she washes.
Norton, why did she leave me?"
Ed: "You just gave four very good reasons."