Frank Gannucci
05-03-2008, 09:43 AM
"Oh My Aching Back":
Ralph (yelling in pain): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!"
(Alice comes out.)
Alice: "What was that?"
Ralph: "I was just yawning."
Alice: "Yawning? It sounded like feeding time at the zoo."
"A Matter of Record":
Ralph: "How could you be so stupid Norton? Why would you want to go? You know the ending as well as I do."
Ed: "You call me stupid? You call me stupid? It just so happens that it makes no difference to me what the ending of the play is. I will just wait until it gets real close to the end of the show and I will get up and walk out."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
G.F.: "I am going to put you in a state of hypnosis."
Ed: "Promise you won't hurt me?"
"Finders Keepers":
Ralph: "We will sell hamburgers, hot dogs, flapjacks, pizza pies..."
Ed: "And we will widen the front door."
Ralph: "Why would we do that?"
Ed: "With all that food, how are you going to get in and out?"
"A Dog's Life":
(Ralph brings some food to Mr. Marshall in his lunch box.)
Ralph: "I got in here (lunchbox) a million dollars."
Ed: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus."
"Young Man With A Horn":
Alice: "All right Ralph. You haven't touched the cornette in years."
Ralph: "I want to keep it."
Ed: "He has a point Alice. He hasn't seen his toes in years and he wants to keep them."
"Two Tickets To The Fight":
Ralph: "At least my relatives don't drop by unexpected."
Alice: "No, they come as steady as clockwork. Three times a week."
"Two Tickets To The Fight":
Ralph (yells): "I'M NOT MISSING THE BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR."
Alice (yells): "LISTEN HERE. YOU TRY AND WALK OUT THAT DOOR AND YOU WILL BE IN THE BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR."
The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Alice is dresssed up as a young lady.)
Alice: "Who is going to look at me Ralph. I'm an old woman."
Ralph: "Who would look at an old woman? An old man."
"Curse of The Kramdens":
Ralph: "I didn't know that Jackie Gleason was irish."
Ed: "Yeah. His family came during the potato famine. In fact, they may have caused it."
Ralph (yelling in pain): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!"
(Alice comes out.)
Alice: "What was that?"
Ralph: "I was just yawning."
Alice: "Yawning? It sounded like feeding time at the zoo."
"A Matter of Record":
Ralph: "How could you be so stupid Norton? Why would you want to go? You know the ending as well as I do."
Ed: "You call me stupid? You call me stupid? It just so happens that it makes no difference to me what the ending of the play is. I will just wait until it gets real close to the end of the show and I will get up and walk out."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
G.F.: "I am going to put you in a state of hypnosis."
Ed: "Promise you won't hurt me?"
"Finders Keepers":
Ralph: "We will sell hamburgers, hot dogs, flapjacks, pizza pies..."
Ed: "And we will widen the front door."
Ralph: "Why would we do that?"
Ed: "With all that food, how are you going to get in and out?"
"A Dog's Life":
(Ralph brings some food to Mr. Marshall in his lunch box.)
Ralph: "I got in here (lunchbox) a million dollars."
Ed: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus."
"Young Man With A Horn":
Alice: "All right Ralph. You haven't touched the cornette in years."
Ralph: "I want to keep it."
Ed: "He has a point Alice. He hasn't seen his toes in years and he wants to keep them."
"Two Tickets To The Fight":
Ralph: "At least my relatives don't drop by unexpected."
Alice: "No, they come as steady as clockwork. Three times a week."
"Two Tickets To The Fight":
Ralph (yells): "I'M NOT MISSING THE BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR."
Alice (yells): "LISTEN HERE. YOU TRY AND WALK OUT THAT DOOR AND YOU WILL BE IN THE BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR."
The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Alice is dresssed up as a young lady.)
Alice: "Who is going to look at me Ralph. I'm an old woman."
Ralph: "Who would look at an old woman? An old man."
"Curse of The Kramdens":
Ralph: "I didn't know that Jackie Gleason was irish."
Ed: "Yeah. His family came during the potato famine. In fact, they may have caused it."