Frank Gannucci
04-11-2008, 11:32 PM
(The NY Rangers beat the NJ Devils 2-0.)
(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the Raccoon Lodge.)
Ralph: "Wow! What a game. I bet those Devils didn't expect this. You know, they, and maybe I, was hoping that since this is their first season in thier new arena, the Prudential Center, they were hoping for another cup."
Ed: "Yeah. Good thing is the Rangers won. We like both teams but only one can succeed."
Ralph: "Yeah. I was hoping that they would meet in the third round, not the first. Makes thier meeting more anticipated, not to mention it guarantees that one of them will go to the Cup round. I would love to be there to see one of them win the cup. Maybe all of us Raccoons should go. Maybe the winners will let us drink from the cup."
Ed: "Just make sure Ralph that you don't drink too much."
Ralph: "I never got drunk."
Freddie: "Then how come you two got drunk on grape juice before?"
(Ed laughs.)
Ed: "We got drunk on grape juice? We must have thought it was real beer since it came from a beer can."
Ralph: "Oooh boy, what a story I got to tell Alice. She will flip over me getting drunk on grape juice."
Freddie: "She is the one that orchastrated it."
Ralph: "One of these days, she will visit Mars."
Freddie: "Anyway, I hear that both of you are into this Rangers/Devils series. I am too. I hope that the Rangers would win. The Devils have won enough times."
Ralph: "Maybe you got a point. But, I would love to see one of them win the cup. This area hasn't had a world championship team in a long time. Which is two and a half months."
Ed: "Yeah. The New York Giants won a long time ago."
Ralph: "This is a great part of the country. We have two teams in the NHL playoffs."
(They all sing a song about NY/NJ hockey.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."
(Audience continues to applaud.)
"Please Leave The Premises":
Alice: "You got fingers in your gloves. Fix the silverware."
Ralph: "How would you like some fingers in your nose?"
"The Safety Award":
Man: "How close are you to Ralph Kramden."
Ed: "I am as close as anybody can get to him."
"We're Off To See The Wizard":
(The girls are upset that the boys paid Emma and Clarance $200. Emma & Clarance fooled the boys ino thinking that there was buried treasure and sold them the map that guided them to the place where the "treasure" was for $200.)
Alice: "You two have cost us $200."
Ed: "$208. We paid Clarance $8 to borrow the shovel from him."
"Finders Keepers":
Ed: "You can still come up empty by continuing to play pinball you know."
Ralph: "Empty? The only thing in here that is empty is your head."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "When we get to Fred's Landing, I won't even introduce you to Fred."
Alice: "Oooooh, from this blow I may never recover."
"Game Called On Account of Marriage":
Ralph: "What could a guy want that is down in the sewer that he needs two bucks right away?"
Ed: "You see, today is pay day and the guys got a couple of dice in the sewer, well you might call it a floating crap game."
"Man In The Blue Suit":
Ed: "Who are they going to give your suit to?"
Ralph: "Some poor unfortunate person who is broken-down."
Ed: "That is right. Someone who can't afford to dress as well as we do."
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Fred: "You will have to eat as much to help you stay alive Ralph."
Ed: "Even that will be too much."
"The Deciding Vote":
Ed: "I wish Trixie could make icing that tastes as good as this."
Alice: "Icing? Ed, that is starch."
Ed: "It is?"
(Ed tastes it again.)
Ed: "I still wish that Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."
(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the Raccoon Lodge.)
Ralph: "Wow! What a game. I bet those Devils didn't expect this. You know, they, and maybe I, was hoping that since this is their first season in thier new arena, the Prudential Center, they were hoping for another cup."
Ed: "Yeah. Good thing is the Rangers won. We like both teams but only one can succeed."
Ralph: "Yeah. I was hoping that they would meet in the third round, not the first. Makes thier meeting more anticipated, not to mention it guarantees that one of them will go to the Cup round. I would love to be there to see one of them win the cup. Maybe all of us Raccoons should go. Maybe the winners will let us drink from the cup."
Ed: "Just make sure Ralph that you don't drink too much."
Ralph: "I never got drunk."
Freddie: "Then how come you two got drunk on grape juice before?"
(Ed laughs.)
Ed: "We got drunk on grape juice? We must have thought it was real beer since it came from a beer can."
Ralph: "Oooh boy, what a story I got to tell Alice. She will flip over me getting drunk on grape juice."
Freddie: "She is the one that orchastrated it."
Ralph: "One of these days, she will visit Mars."
Freddie: "Anyway, I hear that both of you are into this Rangers/Devils series. I am too. I hope that the Rangers would win. The Devils have won enough times."
Ralph: "Maybe you got a point. But, I would love to see one of them win the cup. This area hasn't had a world championship team in a long time. Which is two and a half months."
Ed: "Yeah. The New York Giants won a long time ago."
Ralph: "This is a great part of the country. We have two teams in the NHL playoffs."
(They all sing a song about NY/NJ hockey.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."
(Audience continues to applaud.)
"Please Leave The Premises":
Alice: "You got fingers in your gloves. Fix the silverware."
Ralph: "How would you like some fingers in your nose?"
"The Safety Award":
Man: "How close are you to Ralph Kramden."
Ed: "I am as close as anybody can get to him."
"We're Off To See The Wizard":
(The girls are upset that the boys paid Emma and Clarance $200. Emma & Clarance fooled the boys ino thinking that there was buried treasure and sold them the map that guided them to the place where the "treasure" was for $200.)
Alice: "You two have cost us $200."
Ed: "$208. We paid Clarance $8 to borrow the shovel from him."
"Finders Keepers":
Ed: "You can still come up empty by continuing to play pinball you know."
Ralph: "Empty? The only thing in here that is empty is your head."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "When we get to Fred's Landing, I won't even introduce you to Fred."
Alice: "Oooooh, from this blow I may never recover."
"Game Called On Account of Marriage":
Ralph: "What could a guy want that is down in the sewer that he needs two bucks right away?"
Ed: "You see, today is pay day and the guys got a couple of dice in the sewer, well you might call it a floating crap game."
"Man In The Blue Suit":
Ed: "Who are they going to give your suit to?"
Ralph: "Some poor unfortunate person who is broken-down."
Ed: "That is right. Someone who can't afford to dress as well as we do."
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Fred: "You will have to eat as much to help you stay alive Ralph."
Ed: "Even that will be too much."
"The Deciding Vote":
Ed: "I wish Trixie could make icing that tastes as good as this."
Alice: "Icing? Ed, that is starch."
Ed: "It is?"
(Ed tastes it again.)
Ed: "I still wish that Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."