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Frank Gannucci
04-03-2008, 06:55 PM
"Oh My Aching Back":

Ralph (yelling in pain): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!"

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "What was that?"

Ralph: "I was just yawning."

Alice: "Yawning? It sounded like feeding time at the zoo."

"A Matter of Record":

Ralph: "How could you be so stupid Norton? Why would you want to go? You know the ending as well as I do."

Ed: "You call me stupid? You call me stupid? It just so happens that it makes no difference to me what the ending of the play is. I will just wait until it gets real close to the end of the show and I will get up and walk out."

"A Matter of Life & Death":

Ed: "How about a kiss Trixie?"

Trixie: "I'm too tired."

Ed: "I work in the sewer all day and she's tired."

Trixie: "That is another reason."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

G.F.: "I am going to put you in a state of hypnosis."

Ed: "Promise you won't hurt me?"

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ralph: "What good is money when you can't take it with you?"

Alice: "You are darn right I can't I never go anywhere."

"Boy Next Door":

Ralph: "My dad once said this: 'For one of a sock, a shoe was lost. For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost.'"

Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?"

"Letter To The Boss":

Ralph: "Today, I'm fired. Tomorrow, I'm forgotten. They probably wouldn't remember what I looked like."

Ed: "That's okay. You go down there tomorrow and apply for another job."

"Letter To The Boss":

Ralph: "We will just have to live on our expenses."

Alice: "Swell! That will take care of tonight. But, what are we going to do in the morning?"

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "We will sell hamburgers, hot dogs, flapjacks, pizza pies..."

Ed: "And we will widen the front door."

Ralph: "Why would we do that?"

Ed: "With all that food, how are you going to get in and out?"