Frank Gannucci
03-29-2008, 09:50 AM
"TV or Not TV":
(Ralph is trying to tell Alice that he has more money in is wallet than Ed.)
Ralph: "I have it here."
(Ralph points to his hip pocket.)
Alice: "You have it here..." (Points to her left hip.) "...you have it here..." (Points to her right hip.) "...and you have it here." (Points to her stomach.)
"Better Living Through TV":
Ralph: "What is the first thing that a person has to do if he wants to sell something?"
Ed: "Well, first they look your name (Ralph's) in the phonebook and then they try to sell it to you."
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
Ralph: "What kind of life do you think that I lead in this city driving a bus all day? What do I hear? Taxi horns, police whistles, fire engines, breaks schreeching and people hollering. When I finish my work and come home what do I hear? Babies crying, garbage cans-a-rattlin', peddles-a-yellin'. I ask you. What do I have to do to get a little peace and quiet?"
Alice: "Why don't you shut up?"
"My Fair Landlord":
Ralph: "The person who lent me this place was an ex-GI."
Alice: "Who was he, Benedict Arnold?"
"My Fair Landlord":
Ed: "Can you paint this place during a time when I am not here like on a Sunday?"
Ralph: "Why not now?"
Ed: "I can't stand the smell of paint."
Ralph: "Are you kidding me? You work in the sewer all day and you can't stand the smell of paint?"
"Lawsuit" (Color):
Ed: "I know a person who died from stubbing his toe?"
Man: "Stubbing his toe? How is that possible?"
Ed: "He stubbed it on the Grand Canyon's edge."
"Ralph Goes Hollywood":
Bing: "Looks like you run a very democratic household Ralph."
Trixie: "Yeah, you know what happened to them in the last election."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph: "The theater has been in me all my life."
Alice: "Yeah, I knew that that wasn't your stomach. It was the balcony."
"The Golfer":
(Ralph picks up the cotton ball.)
Ralph (yells): "OW! IT HAS PINS IN IT."
Ed: "What did you expect. chicken noddles?"
(Ralph is trying to tell Alice that he has more money in is wallet than Ed.)
Ralph: "I have it here."
(Ralph points to his hip pocket.)
Alice: "You have it here..." (Points to her left hip.) "...you have it here..." (Points to her right hip.) "...and you have it here." (Points to her stomach.)
"Better Living Through TV":
Ralph: "What is the first thing that a person has to do if he wants to sell something?"
Ed: "Well, first they look your name (Ralph's) in the phonebook and then they try to sell it to you."
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
Ralph: "What kind of life do you think that I lead in this city driving a bus all day? What do I hear? Taxi horns, police whistles, fire engines, breaks schreeching and people hollering. When I finish my work and come home what do I hear? Babies crying, garbage cans-a-rattlin', peddles-a-yellin'. I ask you. What do I have to do to get a little peace and quiet?"
Alice: "Why don't you shut up?"
"My Fair Landlord":
Ralph: "The person who lent me this place was an ex-GI."
Alice: "Who was he, Benedict Arnold?"
"My Fair Landlord":
Ed: "Can you paint this place during a time when I am not here like on a Sunday?"
Ralph: "Why not now?"
Ed: "I can't stand the smell of paint."
Ralph: "Are you kidding me? You work in the sewer all day and you can't stand the smell of paint?"
"Lawsuit" (Color):
Ed: "I know a person who died from stubbing his toe?"
Man: "Stubbing his toe? How is that possible?"
Ed: "He stubbed it on the Grand Canyon's edge."
"Ralph Goes Hollywood":
Bing: "Looks like you run a very democratic household Ralph."
Trixie: "Yeah, you know what happened to them in the last election."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph: "The theater has been in me all my life."
Alice: "Yeah, I knew that that wasn't your stomach. It was the balcony."
"The Golfer":
(Ralph picks up the cotton ball.)
Ralph (yells): "OW! IT HAS PINS IN IT."
Ed: "What did you expect. chicken noddles?"