Frank Gannucci
03-28-2008, 08:39 AM
Episode #140
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Income Tax."
DVD: Attached to "The Cold", "Halloween Party", "Lost Job" & "Ralph's
Sweet Tooth."
One morning, Alice is trying to make breakfast and asks Ralph if he wants bacon or sausage. Ralph wants both. Ralph is late for work. The water isn't on so Alice yells to Mr. Olsen out the window in a nice way explaining that the water isn't on. Mr. Olsen yells in a nice way that he had to turn off the water so he can work on the boiler. Ralph gets informed of the situation, gets further aggravated when he finds out that they have no gas for the stove and yells out the window to Mr. Olsen: "HEY STUPID!" Yeah, Ralph isn't embarrassing Mr. Olsen at all (note the sarcasm). Ed (from upstairs, yells): "WHAT DO YOU WANT RALPH?" Ralph says that he is talking to Mr. Olsen about the lack of water and gas. Ralph yells in typical Ralph fashion to Mr. Olsen and complains. Mr. Olsen says that he is not making any improvements unless he gets a raise from the landlord. Mr. Olsen (yells to Ralph): "IF YOU WANT ANY IMPROVEMENTS, TAKE IT UP WITH THE LANDLORD." Ralph (yells): "YOU TAKE IT UP WITH THE LANDLORD AND TELL HIM THIS, IF THERE ANY IMPROVEMENTS MADE AROUND HERE, I AM LEAVING." Mr. Olsen (yells): "GO AHEAD AND LEAVE. THAT WILL BE AN IMPROVEMENT RIGHT THERE." Ed laughs and Ralph tells him to shut up. Ralph wants to leave the building and get a home. Ralph says that they need money for the house, just a small down payment. Ralph looks in the paper and sees a two-family home in Flushing. Didn't he just say earlier that he is late for work? The Kramdens would be the landlords and Ralph figures he would have the Nortons as tenants. Ralph: "I know his faults and if I had any, he would know them." Basically, Ralph said that he is perfect. Alice says for Ralph to think about it. Ralph leaves but runs into Mr. Olsen and says for him to do some actual work and not read comic books. Ralph leaves. Mr. Olsen is insulted. He does plenty of work and last night he was up until midnight waxing the stairs. Ralph (falling down the stairs, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ralph comes back in. Ralph (to Mr. Olsen): "So you had to wax the stairs, huh?" Ralph is convinced. They are moving out. Ralph yells out the window to Ed, but the window comes down on his head. That was not supposed to happen.
At the new broken-down home in Flushing, Alice is having a hard time
scrubbing the floor. Trixie comes in. They complain about the new home. Trixie: "A Buckingham Palace it isn’t." Ralph comes in. He seems to be happy in his new home. He asks Trixie what she thinks of her new home. Trixie: "When we moved, I was afraid that I would get lonesome and miss the old place but this is as big a dump as that one was." She leaves. Ed Norton comes in and he is happy about his new home. Alice expresses her displeasure about the new home. Ralph says that she has been driving her nuts. Ralph: "It's been argue, argue, argue." Ed: "You got along so good in the other place." Ed says that the cellar is flooded. Ralph is upset. Ed: "Either it's flooded or you got yourself a new swimming pool." Ralph says that tomorrow night; he will get a pump and pump the cellar dry before Alice finds out. Ed says that he was hoping that Ralph would come over to his house and repair the things that needed to be repaired (like the bathroom sink, a few closet doors etc.) Ralph: "If you need anything to get fixed, fix it yourself." Ed says that since Ralph is the landlord, Ralph must fix it or he won't pay the rent. Ralph: "You sneak. What kind of sneak would think of doing something like that?" Ed: "I learned that from you. That is what you did for the landlord in the other place." Ralph reluctantly agrees to fix it but if it ends up more beautiful then his place, he and Ed are switching homes. Gee, Ralph is not nice. Ralph & Ed go over Ed's lease. One of the things is that Ed can't throw a party without Ralph because if he threw a party with Ralph, Ralph can't complain because he's a party of the first part. Ralph: "The landlord always gets the short end." It doesn't sound like Ralph is getting the worst of it here. Another thing in the lease is that it lasts for 99 years and there's a renew option. Ed: "Good because when I turn 142, I won't need to look for a place to live." After a few other things that Ed asks Ralph what they mean, Ed prepares to sign it but he does his usual warm-up. Ralph yells to Ed to sign the lease.
At dinner at Ed's new home, Trixie asks Ed to wash the dishes but Ed says that he is too tired because he worked all day. Ralph comes in with paint. He is going to fulfill Ed's request of painting the place. Ed asks him to do it when he is working because he can't stand the smell of paint. Ralph insists on doing it now. Ed wants a choice of colors. Ralph writes them down. Here's their conversation. Ed: "I want the walls to be brown. Not as dark as a hazel-nut brown. Not as brown as morbid milk brown. There's a certain way that the sun at Coney Island has a way of striking the hot dog's mustard which reflects off the hot dog through the sauerkraut. That's the kind of brown that I want. Ralph: "What about the moldings and window frames?" Ed: "I sort of visualize them as a misty gray. Did you see that Technicolor movie with Ricardo Cortez. I want the grey from his eyes. Not the iris part of his eyes, but the cornea." Ralph: "That kind of grey huh? What about the door?" Ed: "The door I haven't really thought too much about." Ralph: "I think it should be something neutral so it doesn't clash with anything." Ed: "Good thinking. It should be delicate beige. Not a harsh beige, just a neutral delicate beige." Ralph: "Let me see if I got all this right. You want the walls to be a brown like the sun striking through the mustard and sauerkraut on a hot dog. You want the moldings and window frames to be the gray of Robert Cortez's eyes. Not the iris, but the cornea and you want the door to be a nice delicate beige." Ed: "Yeah." Ralph (yells): "YOU'RE GETTING GREEN!" Ed: "Green is good." Ralph (yells): "IT WILL BE GREEN-GREEN!" Gee, what a nice landlord (note the sarcasm.) Ralph: "You can push me so far." Ed: "I can't push you at all. That is a job for a bulldozer." Ed sits down as Ralph paints...with his suit on? What kind of person paints with his suit on? Ed puts on a Mickey Mouse hat, turns on the TV and sings the Mickey Mouse song. This aggravates Ralph and he orders Ed to stop. Ed asks him to hurry up. Ralph hurries all right. He takes the paint cans and throws the paint onto the wall. Ed is upset and wants to leave, but Ralph won't let him because of his lease. (His rent is helping to pay Ralph's mortgage.) Ed: "Trixie, Ralph has a lot to learn about being a party of the first part."
At 3am, Ed wakes up Trixie and they start to make noise by their fire escape (that is connected to the Kramden's fire escape.) They use noise-makers. Ed says to Trixie that they will build up the noise as they go. Oh boy! Ed (yells): "THE BRITISH ARE COMING. DOWN WITH THE LANDLORD." Ed throws a lit fire cracker up into Ralph's fire escape...and nothing happens. Ed: "It must have been a dud!" Ralph hears the noise and confronts Ed. Trixie goes back to sleep. Ed tries to make noise in Ralph's presence. Ralph claims that he loves the noise but by looking at him, you can tell that he hates the noise. Ralph then shows Ed how to make noise by taking a giant pan, hitting hit and yelling. A cop comes around and Ed tells him the whole situation. Ed also said that Ralph is the landlord and since he was trying to make noise to get evicted so Ralph came around and showed him how to make more noise. The cop understands but if he hears more noise, both Ralph & Ed will go to jail. Alice comes in and Ralph tells him that Ed wants to get evicted so badly that he is making noise. Ralph says that he is staying regardless. Alice asks them if they are going to continue this nonsense until one of them quits. Ralph says that is true. He leaves Ed's place and gets toasted from head to toe by one of Norton's giant firecrackers. With that, Ralph comes back in and kicks the Nortons out and just like that, the episode is over.
When I first saw this episode in 1997, I might have thought that this must have been the final episode since the Kramdens announce no plans to go back to their old apartment and that Ralph and Ed don't make up. It turns out that I was wrong.
Episode #155
DVD: Attached to "In 25 Words Or Less" & "Poor People of Paris".
Color Honeymooners Title: "Ship Of Fools."
Lost Episode Title: "Away We Go."
The lost episode version of this episode has not been seen on TV since '57. MPI claims that they are re-releasing the lost episodes and who knows if this episode will make it.
At the ship's dock, everyone is dancing. They are singing: "We are off to Paris." Mr. Masterson and his assistant arrive and await the Kramdens & Nortons. Ralph is in a captain's outfit. Ed has a loud jacket on and Trixie is carrying their entire luggage. Ed says that he works under Madison Avenue is the sewer and they have a slogan which is: "Let's roll it down the manhole and see if it floats." They get their picture taken with the girls sitting on the luggage. The photographer feels Ralph's leg. Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!" Alice: "All he wants is a little chesse cake." Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?" As the man takes his photo, Ralph ties his shoe so Ralph's backside is in the picture. D'Oh! Ralph and Ed get their picture taken with a box of Flakey Wakey but holds the box up in front of Ralph's picture. Ed says that he has been to Europe before and didn't enjoy it because the Germans kept shooting at him but this was after the war. Ralph & Ed argue about who was responsible for winning the contest in which Ralph calls Flakey Wakey junk food. When Ralph is asked what part of Europe he is looking forward to seeing, he begins to sing: "You Can See It in Paris." Everybody joins in. This moment from the lost episode version of this episode was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002. They all go on the ship.
On the ship, a member of the crew announces that it's time for lunch. The girls love the food on the ship. Ralph comes out wearing a VERY LOUD outfit that has brown spots all over it. Ed comes out with a life caver on his neck. Ed throws his vest away and says that he likes the "badminton" court. Ralph: "Must you show your ignorance. This is a hopscotch court." Actually, it's neither. Ralph says that they use first class weights on ships. Ralph throws the weight down on the No. 1 spot and hop scotches all the way up and down the court. He looks ridiculous. Ed tries to do the same but he slowly runs rather than hop scotches. They sit down and cover themselves with blankets. For some reason, Ed is having trouble tucking himself in so he offers to Ralph that he will tuck him in if Ralph tucks him in. Ralph agrees and tucks Ed in but now Ralph wants to be tucked in. Ed tucks him in and asks Ralph to tuck him in. Ralph yells at Ed. A crew member offers them champagne. Ralph says that he never touches the stuff which causes the audience to laugh. The man says that the champagne is free. Ralph then asks for some champagne. The guy offers hors d' oeuvres. Es asks for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Ralph says to Ed to eat the hors d' oeuvres. Ralph is starting to get seasick. Ed says he was seasick when he first started out in the sewer. Ed eats the hors d' oeuvres and says that some of the ingredients are chopped liver and pistachio. Ralph gets even sicker as Ed loves the food that he eats and orders Ed to stop. Ralph & Ed then sing: "I Never Felt Better in My Life." They dance too. Ed slaps Ralph on the back. Ralph gets even sicker and runs out of sight with Ed following him.
Ralph and Ed come back to their chairs and lie down. A man in a turban sits down next to them. Ralph says that he is an Indian. Ed (to the person): "How Kemosabe." The man leaves. Ralph calls Ed stupid and says that was an India Indian and the reason why he has that thing on his head (turban) because he just washed his hair. Ed writes postcards. Ed: "Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry." "Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce." Dear George: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry." Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hoping things are flowing along nicely. Suggest you keep an eye on Bruce, Harry & George as they are standing around and giving each other regards…" Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU STOP THAT?" Ralph tries to take a nap. A French man sits down next to them. French Man: "Bon Jour Miseour." Ed (taking his snacks): "Don't mind if I do." His gal pal, Suzette, comes around and she talks French to him. After he keeps on saying: "No, I can't! I can't!", Ed says: "What is she saying? Maybe I can." They leave. Ralph walks around. Ed walks around with him. They get into the life boat and accidentally release it into the water. D'Oh!
While on the life boat, Ralph and eat are sitting down. It is VERY obvious that the water is fake. (Not that I actually expected them to be in real water even though they were filming this episode in Miami Beach.) Ralph is blaming Ed for the mishap. Ralph: "You did it again." Ralph says that they will never spot us. Ed disagrees since they should be able to spot Ralph. Ed: "The Navy may think that Bermuda may break loose if they spot you on this boat." Ed tries to look on the bright side, especially since he may never see Trixie again. Ralph says that he has to be saved to get away from Ed. Ed tries to think up a game in which he is thinking of a motion picture star and the other guy has to guess who he is thinking off. Ralph is thinking of one. Ed: "Sophie O' Lauren?" Ralph says that he is right. Ed's turn. Ed's hint: The person has a moustache. Ralph: "Man or woman?" Ed: "His initials are J.B." Ralph gets stumped. Ed: "George Brent." Ralph is losing his mind. Ed is starting to get cold. So he wraps himself up. Ed finds a lot of things like a radio. Ralph: "We can send for help." Ralph cranks and Ed will send. Ed sings: "Seems like Old Times." Ed sends the message by pressing one of the radio's buttons. Ed says to stop cranking. Ed listens for the answer but doesn't hear anything. Ralph listens, but doesn't hear anything important. Ed finds a bottle of booze. They drink it. Ralph: "If I'm going to be out here for a long time, I want to get loaded right now." They are drunk. They say that each other is the best friend that they have ever had. They sing: "Let Me Die with a Pal like You." They remember when they were like kids growing up and meeting their wives.
At the dock in France, everyone is singing: ""We are off to Paris." It is revealed that the boys were saved. The Kramdnes & Nortons come out. Alice has on a VERY ORANGE jacket. The girls say that the husbands embarrassed them by going lost on that lifeboat and coming back drunk. Ed says that he is looking at the Eiffel Tower. Ralph says that is the Statue of Degal because it has a pointing thing on top. Alice says that the Wakey Flakey representative was supposed to meet them. I wonder if Shelia flubbed her line there since the company is the FLAKEY WAKEY Company. The Paris representative of Flakey Wakey comes by (with a fake moustache) and offers to take their picture. Ralph says that this time, he will be in the picture. Ralph gets on a green thing with wheels. Ed accidentally leans against it too much and Ralph falls into the water but comes back drenched seconds later. Ralph: "And to think that I am going around the world with this nut." They leave the ship area.
There is no curtain call. If there was one, it was edited out, but not by MPI.
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Income Tax."
DVD: Attached to "The Cold", "Halloween Party", "Lost Job" & "Ralph's
Sweet Tooth."
One morning, Alice is trying to make breakfast and asks Ralph if he wants bacon or sausage. Ralph wants both. Ralph is late for work. The water isn't on so Alice yells to Mr. Olsen out the window in a nice way explaining that the water isn't on. Mr. Olsen yells in a nice way that he had to turn off the water so he can work on the boiler. Ralph gets informed of the situation, gets further aggravated when he finds out that they have no gas for the stove and yells out the window to Mr. Olsen: "HEY STUPID!" Yeah, Ralph isn't embarrassing Mr. Olsen at all (note the sarcasm). Ed (from upstairs, yells): "WHAT DO YOU WANT RALPH?" Ralph says that he is talking to Mr. Olsen about the lack of water and gas. Ralph yells in typical Ralph fashion to Mr. Olsen and complains. Mr. Olsen says that he is not making any improvements unless he gets a raise from the landlord. Mr. Olsen (yells to Ralph): "IF YOU WANT ANY IMPROVEMENTS, TAKE IT UP WITH THE LANDLORD." Ralph (yells): "YOU TAKE IT UP WITH THE LANDLORD AND TELL HIM THIS, IF THERE ANY IMPROVEMENTS MADE AROUND HERE, I AM LEAVING." Mr. Olsen (yells): "GO AHEAD AND LEAVE. THAT WILL BE AN IMPROVEMENT RIGHT THERE." Ed laughs and Ralph tells him to shut up. Ralph wants to leave the building and get a home. Ralph says that they need money for the house, just a small down payment. Ralph looks in the paper and sees a two-family home in Flushing. Didn't he just say earlier that he is late for work? The Kramdens would be the landlords and Ralph figures he would have the Nortons as tenants. Ralph: "I know his faults and if I had any, he would know them." Basically, Ralph said that he is perfect. Alice says for Ralph to think about it. Ralph leaves but runs into Mr. Olsen and says for him to do some actual work and not read comic books. Ralph leaves. Mr. Olsen is insulted. He does plenty of work and last night he was up until midnight waxing the stairs. Ralph (falling down the stairs, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ralph comes back in. Ralph (to Mr. Olsen): "So you had to wax the stairs, huh?" Ralph is convinced. They are moving out. Ralph yells out the window to Ed, but the window comes down on his head. That was not supposed to happen.
At the new broken-down home in Flushing, Alice is having a hard time
scrubbing the floor. Trixie comes in. They complain about the new home. Trixie: "A Buckingham Palace it isn’t." Ralph comes in. He seems to be happy in his new home. He asks Trixie what she thinks of her new home. Trixie: "When we moved, I was afraid that I would get lonesome and miss the old place but this is as big a dump as that one was." She leaves. Ed Norton comes in and he is happy about his new home. Alice expresses her displeasure about the new home. Ralph says that she has been driving her nuts. Ralph: "It's been argue, argue, argue." Ed: "You got along so good in the other place." Ed says that the cellar is flooded. Ralph is upset. Ed: "Either it's flooded or you got yourself a new swimming pool." Ralph says that tomorrow night; he will get a pump and pump the cellar dry before Alice finds out. Ed says that he was hoping that Ralph would come over to his house and repair the things that needed to be repaired (like the bathroom sink, a few closet doors etc.) Ralph: "If you need anything to get fixed, fix it yourself." Ed says that since Ralph is the landlord, Ralph must fix it or he won't pay the rent. Ralph: "You sneak. What kind of sneak would think of doing something like that?" Ed: "I learned that from you. That is what you did for the landlord in the other place." Ralph reluctantly agrees to fix it but if it ends up more beautiful then his place, he and Ed are switching homes. Gee, Ralph is not nice. Ralph & Ed go over Ed's lease. One of the things is that Ed can't throw a party without Ralph because if he threw a party with Ralph, Ralph can't complain because he's a party of the first part. Ralph: "The landlord always gets the short end." It doesn't sound like Ralph is getting the worst of it here. Another thing in the lease is that it lasts for 99 years and there's a renew option. Ed: "Good because when I turn 142, I won't need to look for a place to live." After a few other things that Ed asks Ralph what they mean, Ed prepares to sign it but he does his usual warm-up. Ralph yells to Ed to sign the lease.
At dinner at Ed's new home, Trixie asks Ed to wash the dishes but Ed says that he is too tired because he worked all day. Ralph comes in with paint. He is going to fulfill Ed's request of painting the place. Ed asks him to do it when he is working because he can't stand the smell of paint. Ralph insists on doing it now. Ed wants a choice of colors. Ralph writes them down. Here's their conversation. Ed: "I want the walls to be brown. Not as dark as a hazel-nut brown. Not as brown as morbid milk brown. There's a certain way that the sun at Coney Island has a way of striking the hot dog's mustard which reflects off the hot dog through the sauerkraut. That's the kind of brown that I want. Ralph: "What about the moldings and window frames?" Ed: "I sort of visualize them as a misty gray. Did you see that Technicolor movie with Ricardo Cortez. I want the grey from his eyes. Not the iris part of his eyes, but the cornea." Ralph: "That kind of grey huh? What about the door?" Ed: "The door I haven't really thought too much about." Ralph: "I think it should be something neutral so it doesn't clash with anything." Ed: "Good thinking. It should be delicate beige. Not a harsh beige, just a neutral delicate beige." Ralph: "Let me see if I got all this right. You want the walls to be a brown like the sun striking through the mustard and sauerkraut on a hot dog. You want the moldings and window frames to be the gray of Robert Cortez's eyes. Not the iris, but the cornea and you want the door to be a nice delicate beige." Ed: "Yeah." Ralph (yells): "YOU'RE GETTING GREEN!" Ed: "Green is good." Ralph (yells): "IT WILL BE GREEN-GREEN!" Gee, what a nice landlord (note the sarcasm.) Ralph: "You can push me so far." Ed: "I can't push you at all. That is a job for a bulldozer." Ed sits down as Ralph paints...with his suit on? What kind of person paints with his suit on? Ed puts on a Mickey Mouse hat, turns on the TV and sings the Mickey Mouse song. This aggravates Ralph and he orders Ed to stop. Ed asks him to hurry up. Ralph hurries all right. He takes the paint cans and throws the paint onto the wall. Ed is upset and wants to leave, but Ralph won't let him because of his lease. (His rent is helping to pay Ralph's mortgage.) Ed: "Trixie, Ralph has a lot to learn about being a party of the first part."
At 3am, Ed wakes up Trixie and they start to make noise by their fire escape (that is connected to the Kramden's fire escape.) They use noise-makers. Ed says to Trixie that they will build up the noise as they go. Oh boy! Ed (yells): "THE BRITISH ARE COMING. DOWN WITH THE LANDLORD." Ed throws a lit fire cracker up into Ralph's fire escape...and nothing happens. Ed: "It must have been a dud!" Ralph hears the noise and confronts Ed. Trixie goes back to sleep. Ed tries to make noise in Ralph's presence. Ralph claims that he loves the noise but by looking at him, you can tell that he hates the noise. Ralph then shows Ed how to make noise by taking a giant pan, hitting hit and yelling. A cop comes around and Ed tells him the whole situation. Ed also said that Ralph is the landlord and since he was trying to make noise to get evicted so Ralph came around and showed him how to make more noise. The cop understands but if he hears more noise, both Ralph & Ed will go to jail. Alice comes in and Ralph tells him that Ed wants to get evicted so badly that he is making noise. Ralph says that he is staying regardless. Alice asks them if they are going to continue this nonsense until one of them quits. Ralph says that is true. He leaves Ed's place and gets toasted from head to toe by one of Norton's giant firecrackers. With that, Ralph comes back in and kicks the Nortons out and just like that, the episode is over.
When I first saw this episode in 1997, I might have thought that this must have been the final episode since the Kramdens announce no plans to go back to their old apartment and that Ralph and Ed don't make up. It turns out that I was wrong.
Episode #155
DVD: Attached to "In 25 Words Or Less" & "Poor People of Paris".
Color Honeymooners Title: "Ship Of Fools."
Lost Episode Title: "Away We Go."
The lost episode version of this episode has not been seen on TV since '57. MPI claims that they are re-releasing the lost episodes and who knows if this episode will make it.
At the ship's dock, everyone is dancing. They are singing: "We are off to Paris." Mr. Masterson and his assistant arrive and await the Kramdens & Nortons. Ralph is in a captain's outfit. Ed has a loud jacket on and Trixie is carrying their entire luggage. Ed says that he works under Madison Avenue is the sewer and they have a slogan which is: "Let's roll it down the manhole and see if it floats." They get their picture taken with the girls sitting on the luggage. The photographer feels Ralph's leg. Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!" Alice: "All he wants is a little chesse cake." Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?" As the man takes his photo, Ralph ties his shoe so Ralph's backside is in the picture. D'Oh! Ralph and Ed get their picture taken with a box of Flakey Wakey but holds the box up in front of Ralph's picture. Ed says that he has been to Europe before and didn't enjoy it because the Germans kept shooting at him but this was after the war. Ralph & Ed argue about who was responsible for winning the contest in which Ralph calls Flakey Wakey junk food. When Ralph is asked what part of Europe he is looking forward to seeing, he begins to sing: "You Can See It in Paris." Everybody joins in. This moment from the lost episode version of this episode was shown on the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Special in 2002. They all go on the ship.
On the ship, a member of the crew announces that it's time for lunch. The girls love the food on the ship. Ralph comes out wearing a VERY LOUD outfit that has brown spots all over it. Ed comes out with a life caver on his neck. Ed throws his vest away and says that he likes the "badminton" court. Ralph: "Must you show your ignorance. This is a hopscotch court." Actually, it's neither. Ralph says that they use first class weights on ships. Ralph throws the weight down on the No. 1 spot and hop scotches all the way up and down the court. He looks ridiculous. Ed tries to do the same but he slowly runs rather than hop scotches. They sit down and cover themselves with blankets. For some reason, Ed is having trouble tucking himself in so he offers to Ralph that he will tuck him in if Ralph tucks him in. Ralph agrees and tucks Ed in but now Ralph wants to be tucked in. Ed tucks him in and asks Ralph to tuck him in. Ralph yells at Ed. A crew member offers them champagne. Ralph says that he never touches the stuff which causes the audience to laugh. The man says that the champagne is free. Ralph then asks for some champagne. The guy offers hors d' oeuvres. Es asks for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Ralph says to Ed to eat the hors d' oeuvres. Ralph is starting to get seasick. Ed says he was seasick when he first started out in the sewer. Ed eats the hors d' oeuvres and says that some of the ingredients are chopped liver and pistachio. Ralph gets even sicker as Ed loves the food that he eats and orders Ed to stop. Ralph & Ed then sing: "I Never Felt Better in My Life." They dance too. Ed slaps Ralph on the back. Ralph gets even sicker and runs out of sight with Ed following him.
Ralph and Ed come back to their chairs and lie down. A man in a turban sits down next to them. Ralph says that he is an Indian. Ed (to the person): "How Kemosabe." The man leaves. Ralph calls Ed stupid and says that was an India Indian and the reason why he has that thing on his head (turban) because he just washed his hair. Ed writes postcards. Ed: "Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry." "Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce." Dear George: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry." Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hoping things are flowing along nicely. Suggest you keep an eye on Bruce, Harry & George as they are standing around and giving each other regards…" Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU STOP THAT?" Ralph tries to take a nap. A French man sits down next to them. French Man: "Bon Jour Miseour." Ed (taking his snacks): "Don't mind if I do." His gal pal, Suzette, comes around and she talks French to him. After he keeps on saying: "No, I can't! I can't!", Ed says: "What is she saying? Maybe I can." They leave. Ralph walks around. Ed walks around with him. They get into the life boat and accidentally release it into the water. D'Oh!
While on the life boat, Ralph and eat are sitting down. It is VERY obvious that the water is fake. (Not that I actually expected them to be in real water even though they were filming this episode in Miami Beach.) Ralph is blaming Ed for the mishap. Ralph: "You did it again." Ralph says that they will never spot us. Ed disagrees since they should be able to spot Ralph. Ed: "The Navy may think that Bermuda may break loose if they spot you on this boat." Ed tries to look on the bright side, especially since he may never see Trixie again. Ralph says that he has to be saved to get away from Ed. Ed tries to think up a game in which he is thinking of a motion picture star and the other guy has to guess who he is thinking off. Ralph is thinking of one. Ed: "Sophie O' Lauren?" Ralph says that he is right. Ed's turn. Ed's hint: The person has a moustache. Ralph: "Man or woman?" Ed: "His initials are J.B." Ralph gets stumped. Ed: "George Brent." Ralph is losing his mind. Ed is starting to get cold. So he wraps himself up. Ed finds a lot of things like a radio. Ralph: "We can send for help." Ralph cranks and Ed will send. Ed sings: "Seems like Old Times." Ed sends the message by pressing one of the radio's buttons. Ed says to stop cranking. Ed listens for the answer but doesn't hear anything. Ralph listens, but doesn't hear anything important. Ed finds a bottle of booze. They drink it. Ralph: "If I'm going to be out here for a long time, I want to get loaded right now." They are drunk. They say that each other is the best friend that they have ever had. They sing: "Let Me Die with a Pal like You." They remember when they were like kids growing up and meeting their wives.
At the dock in France, everyone is singing: ""We are off to Paris." It is revealed that the boys were saved. The Kramdnes & Nortons come out. Alice has on a VERY ORANGE jacket. The girls say that the husbands embarrassed them by going lost on that lifeboat and coming back drunk. Ed says that he is looking at the Eiffel Tower. Ralph says that is the Statue of Degal because it has a pointing thing on top. Alice says that the Wakey Flakey representative was supposed to meet them. I wonder if Shelia flubbed her line there since the company is the FLAKEY WAKEY Company. The Paris representative of Flakey Wakey comes by (with a fake moustache) and offers to take their picture. Ralph says that this time, he will be in the picture. Ralph gets on a green thing with wheels. Ed accidentally leans against it too much and Ralph falls into the water but comes back drenched seconds later. Ralph: "And to think that I am going around the world with this nut." They leave the ship area.
There is no curtain call. If there was one, it was edited out, but not by MPI.