Frank Gannucci
03-23-2008, 10:43 AM
"On Stage":
Ed (reading the script): "'I don't possess a mansion, a villa in France, a yacht, or a string of...'" (mispronouncing):"...'poloponies.'"
Ralph (reading the script): "'I feel very...'" (not reading): "String of..." (mispronouncing): "...poloponies?"
Ed: "It says so right here."
(Ralph looks.)
Ralph (yells): "THAT'S POLO PONIES."
"TV or Not TV":
Ralph: "All right. We'll flip a coin to see where the set goes. Gimme a coin."
(Ed gives Ralph a coin.)
Ralph: "All right. Heads, I win. Tails, you lose. Right?"
(Ralph flips.)
Ralph: "Tails, you lose."
Ed: "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you don't mind, will you mind giving me back my coin?"
"Lost Job":
(Ralph just told Ed that he lost his job. Ralph and Alice just declined a request to go out with the Nortons. It was going to be Ed's treat.)
Alice: "We got to hold on to the money that we have."
Ed: "I know how you feel pal. I remember when I was a kid, my father lost his job. He was out of work for years. We didn't have anything. We were very poor. I didn't even have a toy to play with. Then, I remember one Easter; an uncle of mine comes to the house. He gave me one of those candy rabbits. Boy, I loved it. I played with it. I showed to everybody. Finally, it got so dirty that I had to eat it."
"Ralph Kramden Inc.":
Ralph: "Alice, where's my shoehorn?"
Alice: "It's in the top, left-hand drawer."
(Ralph looks.)
Ralph: "It's not in the top-hand, left-hand drawer."
Alice: "It must be there."
Ralph: "It must be. It must be but it's not. Don't say 'It must be' Alice. What you mean is maybe. Not must be, maybe."
(Alice looks in the drawer and finds it.)
Alice: "This must be it, maybe."
"Stand-In For Murder Part 1":
(Nick and another man see Ralph so they can get him a job in which he will be killed.)
Ralph: "I have been driving for the Gotham Bus Company for 14 years and I hate to leave that job if this job wasn't steady."
Nick: "Steady?"
Man: "I'll tell you, you will have this job for as long as you live."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Ralph: "This poolroom isn’t big enough for you and I."
Ed: "This poolroom isn’t big enough for you and anybody."
"Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":
Ralph: "You don't think that I am crazy Alice? You don't think that I am crazy?"
(Ralph sits down and hits his knee with a hammer just to prove to Alice that since his knee doesn’t go up from the force of the blow, he is crazy.)
Ralph: "That proves that I am crazy."
Alice: "It sure does."
"The People's Choice" (Color):
(Ralph is bragging and conceited because he thinks he's a hero. He helped capture Knuckles Grogan.)
Ralph: "I'm a hero. A hero. A heero. Do you know what a hero is?"
Alice: "Yeah, it's a fat sandwich."
"Petticoat Jungle":
(Ralph is showing the girls the "rabbit" he killed. The "rabbit" doesn't even look real. It looks like something you would find in a kids' room.)
Trixie: "This (the "rabbit") is what you came to Africa for?"
Alice: "What was he doing when you shot him, coloring Easter eggs?"
Happy Easter!
Ed (reading the script): "'I don't possess a mansion, a villa in France, a yacht, or a string of...'" (mispronouncing):"...'poloponies.'"
Ralph (reading the script): "'I feel very...'" (not reading): "String of..." (mispronouncing): "...poloponies?"
Ed: "It says so right here."
(Ralph looks.)
Ralph (yells): "THAT'S POLO PONIES."
"TV or Not TV":
Ralph: "All right. We'll flip a coin to see where the set goes. Gimme a coin."
(Ed gives Ralph a coin.)
Ralph: "All right. Heads, I win. Tails, you lose. Right?"
(Ralph flips.)
Ralph: "Tails, you lose."
Ed: "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you don't mind, will you mind giving me back my coin?"
"Lost Job":
(Ralph just told Ed that he lost his job. Ralph and Alice just declined a request to go out with the Nortons. It was going to be Ed's treat.)
Alice: "We got to hold on to the money that we have."
Ed: "I know how you feel pal. I remember when I was a kid, my father lost his job. He was out of work for years. We didn't have anything. We were very poor. I didn't even have a toy to play with. Then, I remember one Easter; an uncle of mine comes to the house. He gave me one of those candy rabbits. Boy, I loved it. I played with it. I showed to everybody. Finally, it got so dirty that I had to eat it."
"Ralph Kramden Inc.":
Ralph: "Alice, where's my shoehorn?"
Alice: "It's in the top, left-hand drawer."
(Ralph looks.)
Ralph: "It's not in the top-hand, left-hand drawer."
Alice: "It must be there."
Ralph: "It must be. It must be but it's not. Don't say 'It must be' Alice. What you mean is maybe. Not must be, maybe."
(Alice looks in the drawer and finds it.)
Alice: "This must be it, maybe."
"Stand-In For Murder Part 1":
(Nick and another man see Ralph so they can get him a job in which he will be killed.)
Ralph: "I have been driving for the Gotham Bus Company for 14 years and I hate to leave that job if this job wasn't steady."
Nick: "Steady?"
Man: "I'll tell you, you will have this job for as long as you live."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Ralph: "This poolroom isn’t big enough for you and I."
Ed: "This poolroom isn’t big enough for you and anybody."
"Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":
Ralph: "You don't think that I am crazy Alice? You don't think that I am crazy?"
(Ralph sits down and hits his knee with a hammer just to prove to Alice that since his knee doesn’t go up from the force of the blow, he is crazy.)
Ralph: "That proves that I am crazy."
Alice: "It sure does."
"The People's Choice" (Color):
(Ralph is bragging and conceited because he thinks he's a hero. He helped capture Knuckles Grogan.)
Ralph: "I'm a hero. A hero. A heero. Do you know what a hero is?"
Alice: "Yeah, it's a fat sandwich."
"Petticoat Jungle":
(Ralph is showing the girls the "rabbit" he killed. The "rabbit" doesn't even look real. It looks like something you would find in a kids' room.)
Trixie: "This (the "rabbit") is what you came to Africa for?"
Alice: "What was he doing when you shot him, coloring Easter eggs?"
Happy Easter!