Frank Gannucci
03-21-2008, 10:01 AM
"The Bensonhurst Bomber":
Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?"
Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits."
"Pal O' Mine":
Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CENTS A POUND." (normally): "Would you stop throwing my money around? Is there any lard around here?"
Alice: "Yeah about 300 lbs. of it."
"Great Jewel Robbery":
(Ralph is collecting money from all the bus drivers to get the boss' daughter a wedding present which will give all the bus drivers a raise and it will get Ralph on the boss' good side.)
Man: "Thank you for being the instigator in getting us a raise. Someday, you will be known as the John L. Lewis of the bus drivers."
(He leaves.)
Ralph: "I like to remove his nose."
"Hot Dog Stand":
Mr. Foster: "Loans are the lifeblood of a bank."
Ralph: "Good because we are in desperate need of a transfusion."
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full-full, then I will empty it. That way, I will make one trip instead of two. Save a trip here, save a trip there and it all mounts up."
Ed: "That is what I am afraid of. It's mounting up all over the building."
"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":
Ralph: "For once you are right. Alice should have married Johnny Farell. He's a much smarter guy than I am."
Alice's Mom: "So you admit it."
Ralph: "Sure. He took one look at you and refused to marry her."
"Dinner Guest":
Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."
(A pause.)
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."
Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."
"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":
Ralph (to Charlie): "I'm on a diet. I've gone from 220."
Ed: "That's his room number. He actually gone from 280."
"The Main Event":
Dynamite: "I need a manager. Someone who will give fights."
Ed: "Why don't you get the guy you KOed in 12 seconds?"
Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?"
Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits."
"Pal O' Mine":
Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CENTS A POUND." (normally): "Would you stop throwing my money around? Is there any lard around here?"
Alice: "Yeah about 300 lbs. of it."
"Great Jewel Robbery":
(Ralph is collecting money from all the bus drivers to get the boss' daughter a wedding present which will give all the bus drivers a raise and it will get Ralph on the boss' good side.)
Man: "Thank you for being the instigator in getting us a raise. Someday, you will be known as the John L. Lewis of the bus drivers."
(He leaves.)
Ralph: "I like to remove his nose."
"Hot Dog Stand":
Mr. Foster: "Loans are the lifeblood of a bank."
Ralph: "Good because we are in desperate need of a transfusion."
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full-full, then I will empty it. That way, I will make one trip instead of two. Save a trip here, save a trip there and it all mounts up."
Ed: "That is what I am afraid of. It's mounting up all over the building."
"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":
Ralph: "For once you are right. Alice should have married Johnny Farell. He's a much smarter guy than I am."
Alice's Mom: "So you admit it."
Ralph: "Sure. He took one look at you and refused to marry her."
"Dinner Guest":
Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."
(A pause.)
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."
Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."
"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":
Ralph (to Charlie): "I'm on a diet. I've gone from 220."
Ed: "That's his room number. He actually gone from 280."
"The Main Event":
Dynamite: "I need a manager. Someone who will give fights."
Ed: "Why don't you get the guy you KOed in 12 seconds?"