Frank Gannucci
03-21-2008, 09:28 AM
Episode #138
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Two Tickets To The Fight."
DVD: Attached to "Kramden vs. Norton" & "One Big Happy Family."
Ed enters Mr. Bartfeld's Candy store and asks him to cash in his pay check. Mr. Bartfeld says that the first prize this week in pinball is a three-pound box of Italian creams. All a person has to do is beat the previous person's record. Ed goes to the pinball machine and with three balls beats the record and wins the Italian creams. I am going to point out that the pinball machine is an old one without any buttons to help propel the ball in the game. Ralph comes in and asks Ed to put back the candy. Ralph breaks Ed's score with two balls and with Ed's encouraging, tries the third ball. Ed: "It's accomplishments like these that get people on the Ed Sullivan Show." Gee, accomplishments like that did? Ralph obliges and shoots the third ball which causes his score to tilt and not count. In short, he doesn't have the record anymore. Ed takes the candy. Ralph: "Give me that candy before I tilt you." Ed doesn't give him the candy and Mr. Bartfeld says that the creams are his. Ralph asks Mr. Bartfeld for a stick of gum. Mr. Bartfeld says yes but asks him to get it himself because his feet are killing him. Ralph gets it and puts it in his mouth before he pays for it. Mr. Bartfeld says that he will miss Ed & Ralph's fights when he moves permanently to his daughter's house in Florida. He is going to sell the store to the Chock Full of Orange People. Gee, what a company name huh? What do they sell, oranges? When Ralph hears this he figures the CFOO people must know something about a boom in the neighborhood, and he wants to buy the store. He and Norton form a partnership and agree to invest $300 each to buy it. Ralph: "When we take over we will modernize the whole joint. We will sell hot dogs, hamburgers, flap jacks, pizza pies..." Ed: "And we will widen the front door because with all that food, how are you going to get in and out?" Gee a place that sells hot dogs, hamburgers & pizza pies sounds like my kind of place. Ralph says that they will give Mr. Bartfeld a deposit and he asks Ed to give all the money he has with him to him now. Ed says no because this is a partnership deal. So Ralph asks Ed to loan him half the money. Ed does and gives it to Mr. Bartfeld as his half. Ralph asks Ed to give him his half. Ed does. Ed: "Now you are acting like a partner." They leave and everyone forgets that Ralph took a stick of gum from the store and didn't pay Mr. Bartfeld for it.
When you watch this episode on TV, this will be the first scene you will see. At home, Ralph finds out that the $300 him and Alice have in the bank is no more. She gave it away to Harry (her brother-in-law) so he can get car-washing equipment for his business and would increase his business 40%. Ralph is upset. Ralph: "You gave my money to a fly-by-night-scheme like that?" Ralph's idea isn't fly-by-night? Ralph explains that he was going to use the money to go to business for himself with Norton as his partner. Ralph was going to become the proprietor of Bartfeld's Candy Store. Alice says that Ralph can't be serious since Mr. Bartfeld has barely made a living out of that store. Alice thinks that he and Ed are crazy. Ed comes down and says that he can't the money from Trixie either. Alice leaves. Ed comes up with ideas to get money. One of them is getting the money from the sewer's Slush Fund and another one is from a reward. He suggests to Ralph why don't they go out and capture some from fugitives and bring them to justice. I can just see a picture of a dangerous and ugly-looking fugitive with the word: "CAPTURED!" on it and finding out that two people, who are EXACTLY LIKE the fictional characters of Ed & Ralph, captured him. Ralph disagrees and says if Bellevue had any fugitives, he would make a fortune. They turn on the radio and they hear the "Hide & Seek Man" from the "Hide & Seek Radio Program" having a find-the-missing-money-in-New York- contest. The prize is a $1,000 bill. Those types of contests can never be done in New York today. Imagine what would happen if it was. The "Hide & Seek Man" gives the clues to help people find the missing money which are:
"Cornelius will be watching you at 9:22. Have your change ready and watch for this clue. No. 247 on the outside will be. Go in, look around and sweet riches you'll see."
Ralph & Ed hear the clues and assume the money is in an automat that is across from the Cornelius Vanderbilt statue. I don't know if there was an automat across from a Cornelius statue EVER in real life. Ralph & Ed assume that they will get the money and Bartfeld's Candy Store will soon be owned by them.
They go into the automat and immediately make a nuisance of themselves. Ed looks under a person's sandwich. Ed: "Pardon me sir. I usually get my mail addressed to me at the automat." Ralph & Ed get some nickels to open up the boxes on the wall (each of them contains a sandwich and Ralph & Ed think one of them contains $1,000). They go back to their table and pour sugar into their cups thinking that the money will be inside. They get other people's sugar too. The manager spots them and now has his eyes on them. Ed thinks he spots the dollar bill in another man's sandwich. Ralph tries to bribe that person just so he can get the sandwich. Oh boy! The man complies. Ralph looks at the sandwich and sees that what Ed saw was lettuce and not a dollar bill. Ralph & Ed get more change. Ed: "Can I get $20 in nickels?" Ralph pulls Ed aside and asks him to just get $5 in nickels because he doesn't want anyone to catch onto what they are doing. Two people (who look like they are crooks, but they are not) walk by with the clues to get the money and try to open up the boxes on the wall to get sandwiches (and in the process, $1,000.) Ralph & Ed do the same and pretty soon all four of them are opening up boxes and putting sandwiches on people's tables and Ralph & Ed are arguing with the to the two men over which sandwich is theirs. Fact: In the summer of 2002 or so, the last ever automat ever that was based in New York was closing down and WABC Channel 7 in New York did a story on it closing. At the beginning of the story, they played this clip from this Honeymooners episode. Ed: "I know what you are after. The $1,000 bill." Soon, all hell breaks loose and EVERYBODY is searching in those boxes for the money. Soon Ralph & Ed are kicked out of the automat for causing the disturbance. How typical.
At home, Ralph finds out from Mr. Bartfeld that the CFOO people want to buy the store not because they think it would make a lot of money, but to use it as a warehouse. Ralph is happy that he didn't buy the store. Mr. Bartfeld leaves as well as Alice. Ralph calls Ed down and says to Norton that he kind of knew from the beginning that the CFOO people want to buy the store not because they think it would make a lot of money, but to use it as a warehouse. He gives Norton some money back and wants Ed to not tell Alice that he missed a day's pay to get the $1,000, paid money to the automat for what he and Ed caused down there and paid Cassidy $15 to drive his bus. Ed laughs. He thought it was funny when the cop saw them pay the money to the automat in nickels. In comes Alice with the newspaper and big news. Joe Cassidy drove Ralph's bus (No. 247) this morning and when he stopped near the Cornelius Vanderbilt Statue, he pulled down the visor and found an envelope which contained the $1,000 bill from the Hide and Seek program. Ralph knows that had he gone to work this morning and drove his bus, he would have gotten the money. Both he and Ed are mad.
Episode #139
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Quiz Show."
DVD: Attached to "Kramden Vs. Norton" & "Finders Keepers."
At the Raccoon Lodge, Ralph is playing cards with some Raccoons. Ed suggests playing "Knuckle-Knuckle." He explains the rules and Ralph is not impressed. The same thing happened in the episode entitled "The Hypnotist." The Raccoon meeting starts. Ed reads the minutes of the last meeting. Ed: "8:30pm, the Raccoon meeting was called to order and the president said he had very important matters to discuss. 8:31pm, one of the members said there was going to give free beer at the end of the meeting. 8:31:30pm, meeting adjourned." Gee, some meeting huh? By the way, I forgot what person said they offered free beer at the last Raccoon meeting. Anyway, the Raccoon annual dance gets announced but no one sold any tickets. One of them members said that one person said that their dances are too dull. Another person suggested that they get a big TV star to get tickets. One member suggested a guy who sells storm windows on TV. Ed suggests Zeppo Marx. Ralph says to Ed that if the Marx brothers need another brother, Ed would be Nutso. The Raccoon also say that they don't have enough money to get a TV star to come to the dance with them. Ed has an idea to solve that problem. His idea: Hold a dance. Ralph and everybody else thinks that that idea is stupid. Ed then says that Ralph Kramden knows a big TV star named Jackie Gleason. Ed & someone else say that Ralph brags about him. The Raccoon president says that with Jackie as the guest, they would have the most successful dance ever. The meeting is adjourned. Ralph is mad at Ed for spilling the beans. Ed: "You told me that you and Jackie are very close." Ralph: "Norton, with you as my friend, I will never need any enemies." They leave.
When you watch this episode on TV, this will be the first scene that you will see. At home, Ralph is alone in the kitchen and calls Ed a nut. Alice: "Why don't you tell the Raccoons the truth that you don't even know Jackie Gleason?" Ralph disagrees with that suggestion. Ralph: "Do you remember the last time that the Raccoons were this excited?" Alice: "Yeah, the time that you told them that you knew Rudy Valee." Ha! Ralph comes to his senses and goes down to the lodge to tell the truth. Ed comes in with the news that since word leaked out that Jackie Gleason was coming to the dance, 1,000 tickets were sold. Ralph says he can't go down to the lodge now. Ed: "If you told me anything, I will still be your friend Ralph." Ralph tells Ed the truth. He doesn't know Jackie Gleason. Ed: "You dirty rat." Ralph says that he did see him once and saved his life. How did he save his life? Jackie was going to walk across the street near a traffic light. Ralph saw him and stopped for the traffic light's red light. Ralph: "If I gone through the light, I might have hit him. I saved his life." Ed: "You didn't save his life, you saved your bus." Ralph: "He is a fat tub of lard." Ha ha ha! Ralph talks about how they are going to get him to come to the dance. Ralph: "You know what a guy like him gets a night, $100. I know he isn't worth that much money but that is what he gets." Gee, $100. That pales in comparison to the salaries that today's TV stars get. Ralph & Ed think of a plan. Ralph: "Suppose I don't get Gleason to come. Suppose I get someone just as exciting." Ed: "If you don't get Gleason, there will be an event just as exciting. The Hanging of Ralph Kramden." They will go down to the hotel where Gleason rehearses for his show and ask him to come and say it's for charity. In real life, of course Jackie rarely rehearsed for his shows. Alice: "What charity is this?" Ed: "Well, see we need a new pool table and when we get the money, we will give the pool table to a bunch of people if they have enough money for it." Alice: "My, you guys do a lot of good work." Ed: "We try. We try." Alice thinks that Ralph is crazy, but Ralph says they need to take this chance. Ralph: "Where would we all be if Christopher Columbus hadn't taken the chance and sailed for America?" Alice: "We would be in Italy and you would be telling everyone that you knew Gina Lolobrigida." Ralph: "Just for that remark, even if I bring Gleason to the dance, you are not coming." Ed: "You won't be invited to the hanging either." Ralph kicks Ed out.
At the hotel, Jackie (as himself) arrives and goes into a phone booth. During their lunch hour, Ralph & Ed arrive. Ralph: "Do you have a person to call to tell that you are going to be late?" Ed: "Who am I going to call? I will just write a note, put it in a bottle and slip it down a manhole." Ralph & Ed decide that they are going to wait for Jackie Gleason since they can't go up to his hotel room. Ed: "With the way that Gleason is built it is hard to tell whether he's coming or going." Ralph calls the bus company. He goes into the phone booth to call. Immediately, Jackie Gleason pops out of the other phone booth that is connected to the other one. Ed doesn't see him. Ralph comes out. Audrey Meadows (as herself) arrives with her dog and it doesn't occur to Ralph & Ed that Audrey looks and sounds EXACTLY like Alice. Ed looks at Audrey and says that she looks good. Women from outside the hotel scream. A person comes in and says that those girls are murder and that they won't leave a guy alone. The audience claps. That person was Ray Bloch. It doesn't occur to Ray that Ralph & Ed look EXACTLY like Jackie Gleason & Art Carney. Ed decides that he wants to go upstairs and wash up. He says to the elevator operator: "Follow that cable." Soon, Art Carney (as himself) comes in and is mesmerized. Ralph (yells): "YOU'RE ART CARNEY! YOU'RE ART CARNEY!" It doesn't occur to Ralph that Art looks EXACTLY like Ed Norton. Ralph asks Art for his autograph. Art obliges and goes back upstairs. Ed Norton comes down and Ralph tells him that he met Art Carney. Ed: "You know some people say that Jackie Gleason is a riot but if you ask me, that Art Carney is the whole show." The audience claps as Ed said that that might have been Elvis and the girls tore most of his hair off. Ha! Ralph argues with Ed over who's funnier, Jackie or Art. Ralph asks the manager of the hotel: "Pardon me sir, but on the Jackie Gleason Show, who's funnier, Jackie Gleason or Art Carney?" Hotel Manager: "I can't say. I watch Perry Como." On The Honeymooners Reunion Special in the 80s, Jackie Gleason showed this clip and said that he and Art always got along well except during this episode. I don't know if Jackie was joking when he said that or not. A delivery boy comes in and has a delivery for Jackie but Ralph takes the delivery upstairs and pays the kid a dollar. Boy: "Jackie never gave me this much." Ralph goes to see him. But, Jackie (as himself) comes down and Ed Norton is so mesmerized by his appearance. Ed: "It is a pleasure for me to look at you in the flesh and there's so much of it." It doesn't occur to Ed that Jackie looks EXACTLY like Ralph Kramden and sounds like him too. Jackie (to the hotel manager): "Whatever he (Ed) is drinking, give me a case of it." Jackie leaves. Ralph comes down and Ed said that he saw Gleason but never asked him to come to the dance and that he left. Ralph is upset. Joyce Randolph comes in and it doesn't occur to Ralph & Ed that she looks exactly like Trixie. Ed: "Have I seen you before?" Joyce: "I don't believe so." Ed: "Have you ever worked in the sewer?" Ralph & Ed leave.
At the Raccoon dance, Ed says that this reminds him of his high school prom (the last dance he took Trixie to.) Ralph is upset because he thinks that Jackie isn't coming and that he will be killed. Alice asks him to take their coats. Ralph reluctantly does so. Alice has a plan. Jackie Gleason arrives (as himself) and it doesn't occur to everyone else that Jackie looks EXACTLY like Ralph. Alice had convinced him to come using a homemade anchovy pizza and a note explaining Ralph's situation. Jackie goes in to warm up the crowd. Ralph comes out and is happy to hear Jackie warming up the crowd. Obviously during this scene, Jackie's voice was on a tape recorder. With that, the dance begins on a happy note.
My thoughts: This is the episode where the viewer has to suspend disbelief the most. Another thing, when this episode is shown on TV, two of the parts that are edited are when Audrey makes an appearance as herself and when Ray Bloch made a cameo leaving the viewer to believe that only Jackie, Art & Audrey made cameos.
Credit goes to tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Bill Mooners Archives &
amazon.com.
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Two Tickets To The Fight."
DVD: Attached to "Kramden vs. Norton" & "One Big Happy Family."
Ed enters Mr. Bartfeld's Candy store and asks him to cash in his pay check. Mr. Bartfeld says that the first prize this week in pinball is a three-pound box of Italian creams. All a person has to do is beat the previous person's record. Ed goes to the pinball machine and with three balls beats the record and wins the Italian creams. I am going to point out that the pinball machine is an old one without any buttons to help propel the ball in the game. Ralph comes in and asks Ed to put back the candy. Ralph breaks Ed's score with two balls and with Ed's encouraging, tries the third ball. Ed: "It's accomplishments like these that get people on the Ed Sullivan Show." Gee, accomplishments like that did? Ralph obliges and shoots the third ball which causes his score to tilt and not count. In short, he doesn't have the record anymore. Ed takes the candy. Ralph: "Give me that candy before I tilt you." Ed doesn't give him the candy and Mr. Bartfeld says that the creams are his. Ralph asks Mr. Bartfeld for a stick of gum. Mr. Bartfeld says yes but asks him to get it himself because his feet are killing him. Ralph gets it and puts it in his mouth before he pays for it. Mr. Bartfeld says that he will miss Ed & Ralph's fights when he moves permanently to his daughter's house in Florida. He is going to sell the store to the Chock Full of Orange People. Gee, what a company name huh? What do they sell, oranges? When Ralph hears this he figures the CFOO people must know something about a boom in the neighborhood, and he wants to buy the store. He and Norton form a partnership and agree to invest $300 each to buy it. Ralph: "When we take over we will modernize the whole joint. We will sell hot dogs, hamburgers, flap jacks, pizza pies..." Ed: "And we will widen the front door because with all that food, how are you going to get in and out?" Gee a place that sells hot dogs, hamburgers & pizza pies sounds like my kind of place. Ralph says that they will give Mr. Bartfeld a deposit and he asks Ed to give all the money he has with him to him now. Ed says no because this is a partnership deal. So Ralph asks Ed to loan him half the money. Ed does and gives it to Mr. Bartfeld as his half. Ralph asks Ed to give him his half. Ed does. Ed: "Now you are acting like a partner." They leave and everyone forgets that Ralph took a stick of gum from the store and didn't pay Mr. Bartfeld for it.
When you watch this episode on TV, this will be the first scene you will see. At home, Ralph finds out that the $300 him and Alice have in the bank is no more. She gave it away to Harry (her brother-in-law) so he can get car-washing equipment for his business and would increase his business 40%. Ralph is upset. Ralph: "You gave my money to a fly-by-night-scheme like that?" Ralph's idea isn't fly-by-night? Ralph explains that he was going to use the money to go to business for himself with Norton as his partner. Ralph was going to become the proprietor of Bartfeld's Candy Store. Alice says that Ralph can't be serious since Mr. Bartfeld has barely made a living out of that store. Alice thinks that he and Ed are crazy. Ed comes down and says that he can't the money from Trixie either. Alice leaves. Ed comes up with ideas to get money. One of them is getting the money from the sewer's Slush Fund and another one is from a reward. He suggests to Ralph why don't they go out and capture some from fugitives and bring them to justice. I can just see a picture of a dangerous and ugly-looking fugitive with the word: "CAPTURED!" on it and finding out that two people, who are EXACTLY LIKE the fictional characters of Ed & Ralph, captured him. Ralph disagrees and says if Bellevue had any fugitives, he would make a fortune. They turn on the radio and they hear the "Hide & Seek Man" from the "Hide & Seek Radio Program" having a find-the-missing-money-in-New York- contest. The prize is a $1,000 bill. Those types of contests can never be done in New York today. Imagine what would happen if it was. The "Hide & Seek Man" gives the clues to help people find the missing money which are:
"Cornelius will be watching you at 9:22. Have your change ready and watch for this clue. No. 247 on the outside will be. Go in, look around and sweet riches you'll see."
Ralph & Ed hear the clues and assume the money is in an automat that is across from the Cornelius Vanderbilt statue. I don't know if there was an automat across from a Cornelius statue EVER in real life. Ralph & Ed assume that they will get the money and Bartfeld's Candy Store will soon be owned by them.
They go into the automat and immediately make a nuisance of themselves. Ed looks under a person's sandwich. Ed: "Pardon me sir. I usually get my mail addressed to me at the automat." Ralph & Ed get some nickels to open up the boxes on the wall (each of them contains a sandwich and Ralph & Ed think one of them contains $1,000). They go back to their table and pour sugar into their cups thinking that the money will be inside. They get other people's sugar too. The manager spots them and now has his eyes on them. Ed thinks he spots the dollar bill in another man's sandwich. Ralph tries to bribe that person just so he can get the sandwich. Oh boy! The man complies. Ralph looks at the sandwich and sees that what Ed saw was lettuce and not a dollar bill. Ralph & Ed get more change. Ed: "Can I get $20 in nickels?" Ralph pulls Ed aside and asks him to just get $5 in nickels because he doesn't want anyone to catch onto what they are doing. Two people (who look like they are crooks, but they are not) walk by with the clues to get the money and try to open up the boxes on the wall to get sandwiches (and in the process, $1,000.) Ralph & Ed do the same and pretty soon all four of them are opening up boxes and putting sandwiches on people's tables and Ralph & Ed are arguing with the to the two men over which sandwich is theirs. Fact: In the summer of 2002 or so, the last ever automat ever that was based in New York was closing down and WABC Channel 7 in New York did a story on it closing. At the beginning of the story, they played this clip from this Honeymooners episode. Ed: "I know what you are after. The $1,000 bill." Soon, all hell breaks loose and EVERYBODY is searching in those boxes for the money. Soon Ralph & Ed are kicked out of the automat for causing the disturbance. How typical.
At home, Ralph finds out from Mr. Bartfeld that the CFOO people want to buy the store not because they think it would make a lot of money, but to use it as a warehouse. Ralph is happy that he didn't buy the store. Mr. Bartfeld leaves as well as Alice. Ralph calls Ed down and says to Norton that he kind of knew from the beginning that the CFOO people want to buy the store not because they think it would make a lot of money, but to use it as a warehouse. He gives Norton some money back and wants Ed to not tell Alice that he missed a day's pay to get the $1,000, paid money to the automat for what he and Ed caused down there and paid Cassidy $15 to drive his bus. Ed laughs. He thought it was funny when the cop saw them pay the money to the automat in nickels. In comes Alice with the newspaper and big news. Joe Cassidy drove Ralph's bus (No. 247) this morning and when he stopped near the Cornelius Vanderbilt Statue, he pulled down the visor and found an envelope which contained the $1,000 bill from the Hide and Seek program. Ralph knows that had he gone to work this morning and drove his bus, he would have gotten the money. Both he and Ed are mad.
Episode #139
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Quiz Show."
DVD: Attached to "Kramden Vs. Norton" & "Finders Keepers."
At the Raccoon Lodge, Ralph is playing cards with some Raccoons. Ed suggests playing "Knuckle-Knuckle." He explains the rules and Ralph is not impressed. The same thing happened in the episode entitled "The Hypnotist." The Raccoon meeting starts. Ed reads the minutes of the last meeting. Ed: "8:30pm, the Raccoon meeting was called to order and the president said he had very important matters to discuss. 8:31pm, one of the members said there was going to give free beer at the end of the meeting. 8:31:30pm, meeting adjourned." Gee, some meeting huh? By the way, I forgot what person said they offered free beer at the last Raccoon meeting. Anyway, the Raccoon annual dance gets announced but no one sold any tickets. One of them members said that one person said that their dances are too dull. Another person suggested that they get a big TV star to get tickets. One member suggested a guy who sells storm windows on TV. Ed suggests Zeppo Marx. Ralph says to Ed that if the Marx brothers need another brother, Ed would be Nutso. The Raccoon also say that they don't have enough money to get a TV star to come to the dance with them. Ed has an idea to solve that problem. His idea: Hold a dance. Ralph and everybody else thinks that that idea is stupid. Ed then says that Ralph Kramden knows a big TV star named Jackie Gleason. Ed & someone else say that Ralph brags about him. The Raccoon president says that with Jackie as the guest, they would have the most successful dance ever. The meeting is adjourned. Ralph is mad at Ed for spilling the beans. Ed: "You told me that you and Jackie are very close." Ralph: "Norton, with you as my friend, I will never need any enemies." They leave.
When you watch this episode on TV, this will be the first scene that you will see. At home, Ralph is alone in the kitchen and calls Ed a nut. Alice: "Why don't you tell the Raccoons the truth that you don't even know Jackie Gleason?" Ralph disagrees with that suggestion. Ralph: "Do you remember the last time that the Raccoons were this excited?" Alice: "Yeah, the time that you told them that you knew Rudy Valee." Ha! Ralph comes to his senses and goes down to the lodge to tell the truth. Ed comes in with the news that since word leaked out that Jackie Gleason was coming to the dance, 1,000 tickets were sold. Ralph says he can't go down to the lodge now. Ed: "If you told me anything, I will still be your friend Ralph." Ralph tells Ed the truth. He doesn't know Jackie Gleason. Ed: "You dirty rat." Ralph says that he did see him once and saved his life. How did he save his life? Jackie was going to walk across the street near a traffic light. Ralph saw him and stopped for the traffic light's red light. Ralph: "If I gone through the light, I might have hit him. I saved his life." Ed: "You didn't save his life, you saved your bus." Ralph: "He is a fat tub of lard." Ha ha ha! Ralph talks about how they are going to get him to come to the dance. Ralph: "You know what a guy like him gets a night, $100. I know he isn't worth that much money but that is what he gets." Gee, $100. That pales in comparison to the salaries that today's TV stars get. Ralph & Ed think of a plan. Ralph: "Suppose I don't get Gleason to come. Suppose I get someone just as exciting." Ed: "If you don't get Gleason, there will be an event just as exciting. The Hanging of Ralph Kramden." They will go down to the hotel where Gleason rehearses for his show and ask him to come and say it's for charity. In real life, of course Jackie rarely rehearsed for his shows. Alice: "What charity is this?" Ed: "Well, see we need a new pool table and when we get the money, we will give the pool table to a bunch of people if they have enough money for it." Alice: "My, you guys do a lot of good work." Ed: "We try. We try." Alice thinks that Ralph is crazy, but Ralph says they need to take this chance. Ralph: "Where would we all be if Christopher Columbus hadn't taken the chance and sailed for America?" Alice: "We would be in Italy and you would be telling everyone that you knew Gina Lolobrigida." Ralph: "Just for that remark, even if I bring Gleason to the dance, you are not coming." Ed: "You won't be invited to the hanging either." Ralph kicks Ed out.
At the hotel, Jackie (as himself) arrives and goes into a phone booth. During their lunch hour, Ralph & Ed arrive. Ralph: "Do you have a person to call to tell that you are going to be late?" Ed: "Who am I going to call? I will just write a note, put it in a bottle and slip it down a manhole." Ralph & Ed decide that they are going to wait for Jackie Gleason since they can't go up to his hotel room. Ed: "With the way that Gleason is built it is hard to tell whether he's coming or going." Ralph calls the bus company. He goes into the phone booth to call. Immediately, Jackie Gleason pops out of the other phone booth that is connected to the other one. Ed doesn't see him. Ralph comes out. Audrey Meadows (as herself) arrives with her dog and it doesn't occur to Ralph & Ed that Audrey looks and sounds EXACTLY like Alice. Ed looks at Audrey and says that she looks good. Women from outside the hotel scream. A person comes in and says that those girls are murder and that they won't leave a guy alone. The audience claps. That person was Ray Bloch. It doesn't occur to Ray that Ralph & Ed look EXACTLY like Jackie Gleason & Art Carney. Ed decides that he wants to go upstairs and wash up. He says to the elevator operator: "Follow that cable." Soon, Art Carney (as himself) comes in and is mesmerized. Ralph (yells): "YOU'RE ART CARNEY! YOU'RE ART CARNEY!" It doesn't occur to Ralph that Art looks EXACTLY like Ed Norton. Ralph asks Art for his autograph. Art obliges and goes back upstairs. Ed Norton comes down and Ralph tells him that he met Art Carney. Ed: "You know some people say that Jackie Gleason is a riot but if you ask me, that Art Carney is the whole show." The audience claps as Ed said that that might have been Elvis and the girls tore most of his hair off. Ha! Ralph argues with Ed over who's funnier, Jackie or Art. Ralph asks the manager of the hotel: "Pardon me sir, but on the Jackie Gleason Show, who's funnier, Jackie Gleason or Art Carney?" Hotel Manager: "I can't say. I watch Perry Como." On The Honeymooners Reunion Special in the 80s, Jackie Gleason showed this clip and said that he and Art always got along well except during this episode. I don't know if Jackie was joking when he said that or not. A delivery boy comes in and has a delivery for Jackie but Ralph takes the delivery upstairs and pays the kid a dollar. Boy: "Jackie never gave me this much." Ralph goes to see him. But, Jackie (as himself) comes down and Ed Norton is so mesmerized by his appearance. Ed: "It is a pleasure for me to look at you in the flesh and there's so much of it." It doesn't occur to Ed that Jackie looks EXACTLY like Ralph Kramden and sounds like him too. Jackie (to the hotel manager): "Whatever he (Ed) is drinking, give me a case of it." Jackie leaves. Ralph comes down and Ed said that he saw Gleason but never asked him to come to the dance and that he left. Ralph is upset. Joyce Randolph comes in and it doesn't occur to Ralph & Ed that she looks exactly like Trixie. Ed: "Have I seen you before?" Joyce: "I don't believe so." Ed: "Have you ever worked in the sewer?" Ralph & Ed leave.
At the Raccoon dance, Ed says that this reminds him of his high school prom (the last dance he took Trixie to.) Ralph is upset because he thinks that Jackie isn't coming and that he will be killed. Alice asks him to take their coats. Ralph reluctantly does so. Alice has a plan. Jackie Gleason arrives (as himself) and it doesn't occur to everyone else that Jackie looks EXACTLY like Ralph. Alice had convinced him to come using a homemade anchovy pizza and a note explaining Ralph's situation. Jackie goes in to warm up the crowd. Ralph comes out and is happy to hear Jackie warming up the crowd. Obviously during this scene, Jackie's voice was on a tape recorder. With that, the dance begins on a happy note.
My thoughts: This is the episode where the viewer has to suspend disbelief the most. Another thing, when this episode is shown on TV, two of the parts that are edited are when Audrey makes an appearance as herself and when Ray Bloch made a cameo leaving the viewer to believe that only Jackie, Art & Audrey made cameos.
Credit goes to tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Bill Mooners Archives &
amazon.com.