Frank Gannucci
03-15-2008, 09:28 AM
"Songs & Witty Sayings Part 1":
(Ed is behind Ralph.)
Ralph (to Alice): "Napolean had Josephine behind him. Who do I have behind me?" (yells): "DON'T YOU DARE!"
(Ralph is ashamed that Ed is standing behind him.)
Ralph (normally): "Now go to bed."
Alice: "Ahhh."
(Alice closes the door.)
Ralph (to Alice): "Oh, you're flirting with death."
"The Loudspeaker":
(Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.)
Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?"
Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC-
OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?"
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
"Kramden Vs. Norton":
Ralph: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and I."
Ed: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and anybody."
"Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":
Doctor: "I notice that you have a slight limp. Is that disability permanent?"
Ralph: "No, it isn't. I got it this morning. I hit myself with a hammer."
Doctor: "You hit yourself with a hammer?"
Ralph: "Don't get the wrong idea. Ed hit my leg with the hammer."
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?"
Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures."
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk."
Ralph: "That's not a bad idea."
(Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.)
Ralph: "Okay, let's go."
"Hair To A Fortune":
(Ralph & Ed are making the hair-making formula in a bowl.)
Ralph: "You stupid stupe. You made me poor the beer in the bowl."
Ed: "Why are you calling me stupid for? I wouldn't have done it."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Alice: "How could you even think of going to the movies when Ed took you to the Kit Kat Club on your birthday?"
Ralph (from bedroom): "Did I ask him to take me there? Did I ask him?"
Alice: "No, you suggested going to the Copa."
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Nick: "How about $400 a week."
(Ralph coughs.)
Nick: "$500."
(Ralph coughs more.)
Nick: "$600."
Ralph: "Norton, give me some water."
Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time."
(Ed is behind Ralph.)
Ralph (to Alice): "Napolean had Josephine behind him. Who do I have behind me?" (yells): "DON'T YOU DARE!"
(Ralph is ashamed that Ed is standing behind him.)
Ralph (normally): "Now go to bed."
Alice: "Ahhh."
(Alice closes the door.)
Ralph (to Alice): "Oh, you're flirting with death."
"The Loudspeaker":
(Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.)
Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?"
Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC-
OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?"
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
"Kramden Vs. Norton":
Ralph: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and I."
Ed: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and anybody."
"Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":
Doctor: "I notice that you have a slight limp. Is that disability permanent?"
Ralph: "No, it isn't. I got it this morning. I hit myself with a hammer."
Doctor: "You hit yourself with a hammer?"
Ralph: "Don't get the wrong idea. Ed hit my leg with the hammer."
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?"
Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures."
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk."
Ralph: "That's not a bad idea."
(Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.)
Ralph: "Okay, let's go."
"Hair To A Fortune":
(Ralph & Ed are making the hair-making formula in a bowl.)
Ralph: "You stupid stupe. You made me poor the beer in the bowl."
Ed: "Why are you calling me stupid for? I wouldn't have done it."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Alice: "How could you even think of going to the movies when Ed took you to the Kit Kat Club on your birthday?"
Ralph (from bedroom): "Did I ask him to take me there? Did I ask him?"
Alice: "No, you suggested going to the Copa."
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Nick: "How about $400 a week."
(Ralph coughs.)
Nick: "$500."
(Ralph coughs more.)
Nick: "$600."
Ralph: "Norton, give me some water."
Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time."