Frank Gannucci
03-01-2008, 09:59 AM
"The Worry Wart":
Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning on that refund - IN ITS ENTIRETY! I need all of the refund - all 42 dollars! I can't afford to let any of the 42 go! I got to go down to Fred's Landings - I need 42dollars! What am I gonna do if I haven't got enough money?"
Alice: "We'll just have to cut down, Ralph. Just ask for a cheaper tent with a smaller snake."
"Brother Ralph":
Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? You are my husband."
Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
(The Kramdens and Nortons run into "Mr. Mosby" in hopes of getting a cottage. The one that they are in costs $2,000.)
"Mr. Mosby": "I'm going to do for you what I did for my mother."
Ed: "You are going to buy a cottage for us?"
"Jellybeans":
Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?"
Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?"
Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5."
Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer."
"Jellybeans":
(Ed takes some of the jellybeans and eats them. Ralph spots him.)
Ralph (yells): "WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU EATING THOSE JELLYBEANS
FOR?"
Ed: "What's the matter? What are they, poisoned?"
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Nick: "How about $400 a week."
(Ralph coughs.)
Nick: "$500."
(Ralph coughs more.)
Nick: "$600."
Ralph: "Norton, give me some water."
Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time."
"Oh My Aching Back":
(Ralph tries to stand up straight with his bad back.)
Ralph: "How does this look? Does this look natural?"
Ed: "Yeah, like the Leaning Tower of Pizza."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Mike Case is about to hypnotize Alice to get her to tell Ralph where the money is so he can use it on the convention.)
Ralph (to Mike Case): "You might think that this is a little underhanded, but all's fair in love and war."
Ed: "In this family, it's a little bit of both."
"The Main Event":
Ralph: "Did you see Dynamite wallop that cigarette machine?"
Ed: "Good thing it wasn't a Pepsi-Cola machine or we would all drown."
Ralph: "Oh, is that all that they are going to do? They're just gonna take it out of my refund? It just so happens Alice that I was planning on that refund - IN ITS ENTIRETY! I need all of the refund - all 42 dollars! I can't afford to let any of the 42 go! I got to go down to Fred's Landings - I need 42dollars! What am I gonna do if I haven't got enough money?"
Alice: "We'll just have to cut down, Ralph. Just ask for a cheaper tent with a smaller snake."
"Brother Ralph":
Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? You are my husband."
Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
(The Kramdens and Nortons run into "Mr. Mosby" in hopes of getting a cottage. The one that they are in costs $2,000.)
"Mr. Mosby": "I'm going to do for you what I did for my mother."
Ed: "You are going to buy a cottage for us?"
"Jellybeans":
Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?"
Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?"
Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5."
Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer."
"Jellybeans":
(Ed takes some of the jellybeans and eats them. Ralph spots him.)
Ralph (yells): "WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU EATING THOSE JELLYBEANS
FOR?"
Ed: "What's the matter? What are they, poisoned?"
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Nick: "How about $400 a week."
(Ralph coughs.)
Nick: "$500."
(Ralph coughs more.)
Nick: "$600."
Ralph: "Norton, give me some water."
Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time."
"Oh My Aching Back":
(Ralph tries to stand up straight with his bad back.)
Ralph: "How does this look? Does this look natural?"
Ed: "Yeah, like the Leaning Tower of Pizza."
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Mike Case is about to hypnotize Alice to get her to tell Ralph where the money is so he can use it on the convention.)
Ralph (to Mike Case): "You might think that this is a little underhanded, but all's fair in love and war."
Ed: "In this family, it's a little bit of both."
"The Main Event":
Ralph: "Did you see Dynamite wallop that cigarette machine?"
Ed: "Good thing it wasn't a Pepsi-Cola machine or we would all drown."