Frank Gannucci
02-23-2008, 08:42 AM
"Stars Over Flatbush":
Ralph: "Mr. Marshall, can I have a raise?"
Mr. Marshall: "No."
Ralph: "But, it's 11:30p."
Mr. Marshall: "I don't care if it's 2:07."
Ralph: "Neither do I. But, it's 11:30p."
"Hello Mom":
Ralph: "You remember the joke that your mom said at our wedding?"
Alice: "What joke?"
Ralph: "You remember the joke. She said: 'I'm not losing a daughter. I'm gaining a ton.'"
"Manager of The Baseball Team" (Color):
Ed: "I went to a fortune teller and she said that I would marry a brunette. The next day, I met Trixie."
Alice: "She is no brunette."
Ed: "She was then."
"Finders Keepers":
(Ed just beat Ralph at pinball. Because of that, Ed won the box of Italian Creams.)
Ed: "Ralph, we have been friends too long to let a box of Italian Creams to come between us. So, what I am going to do is take this home, Trixie will have the bottom half, Alice will have the top layer, and the box, which is suitable for framming, is yours."
Ralph: "Why don't you shut up?"
"Young Man With A Horn":
Alice: "Do you know that Ralph insisted on making the beds this morning?"
Trixie: "That is wonderful."
Alice: "What is wonderful is that he got me up at 5am so he could make them."
"Unconventional Behavior":
(Ed sets his watch by the time Chinese restaurant opens at home as well as the time the smell of egg fu young reaches his apartment window.)
Ralph: "Ask that conductor what time it is."
Ed: "Excuse me?"
Conductor: "Yes."
Ed: "Are there any Chinese restaurants on this train?"
"Cottage For Sale Part 2":
(Ralph & Ed are in the really broken down cottage.)
Ralph: "$998, we have been robbed. What are we going to tell the girls? They will kill us. They will kill us after they saw the place in the showroom. What are we going to do?"
Ed: "If it was April 1st, we can jump up from behind them and yell: 'April Fool!'"
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
(The Kramdens and Nortons run into "Mr. Mosby" in hopes of getting a cottage. The one that they are in costs $2,000.)
"Mr. Mosby": "I'm going to do for you what I did for my mother."
Ed: "You are going to buy a cottage for us?"
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Ralph: "Some day, someone might discover you."
Ed: "Not unless he falls down an open manhole."
"Norton Moves In" (Color version):
Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen."
Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall."
Ralph: "Mr. Marshall, can I have a raise?"
Mr. Marshall: "No."
Ralph: "But, it's 11:30p."
Mr. Marshall: "I don't care if it's 2:07."
Ralph: "Neither do I. But, it's 11:30p."
"Hello Mom":
Ralph: "You remember the joke that your mom said at our wedding?"
Alice: "What joke?"
Ralph: "You remember the joke. She said: 'I'm not losing a daughter. I'm gaining a ton.'"
"Manager of The Baseball Team" (Color):
Ed: "I went to a fortune teller and she said that I would marry a brunette. The next day, I met Trixie."
Alice: "She is no brunette."
Ed: "She was then."
"Finders Keepers":
(Ed just beat Ralph at pinball. Because of that, Ed won the box of Italian Creams.)
Ed: "Ralph, we have been friends too long to let a box of Italian Creams to come between us. So, what I am going to do is take this home, Trixie will have the bottom half, Alice will have the top layer, and the box, which is suitable for framming, is yours."
Ralph: "Why don't you shut up?"
"Young Man With A Horn":
Alice: "Do you know that Ralph insisted on making the beds this morning?"
Trixie: "That is wonderful."
Alice: "What is wonderful is that he got me up at 5am so he could make them."
"Unconventional Behavior":
(Ed sets his watch by the time Chinese restaurant opens at home as well as the time the smell of egg fu young reaches his apartment window.)
Ralph: "Ask that conductor what time it is."
Ed: "Excuse me?"
Conductor: "Yes."
Ed: "Are there any Chinese restaurants on this train?"
"Cottage For Sale Part 2":
(Ralph & Ed are in the really broken down cottage.)
Ralph: "$998, we have been robbed. What are we going to tell the girls? They will kill us. They will kill us after they saw the place in the showroom. What are we going to do?"
Ed: "If it was April 1st, we can jump up from behind them and yell: 'April Fool!'"
"Cottage For Sale Part 1":
(The Kramdens and Nortons run into "Mr. Mosby" in hopes of getting a cottage. The one that they are in costs $2,000.)
"Mr. Mosby": "I'm going to do for you what I did for my mother."
Ed: "You are going to buy a cottage for us?"
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
Ralph: "Some day, someone might discover you."
Ed: "Not unless he falls down an open manhole."
"Norton Moves In" (Color version):
Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen."
Ralph: "Just a moment. Whenever you mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall."