EmoJoe
12-28-2007, 08:58 PM
Episode 2 – You, Me, and SOLOMON
CAST:
Chad Doody - Derek
TF - Ray
Joseph Samaroa aka Rurry - Vince
Lynn - Suzie
Jack Wilson - Jack Daniels
Davey - Luke
Jackie aka Ravey - Ladonica
Ashlee - Paris Shatner
Karen - Lisa Shatner
Hilary Duff - Kelly
SOLOMON - SOLOMON
James Avery - Al
GUEST CAST:
EFD - Jonathon
Tito from Rocket Power - Tito
Tony Danza - Fernando
Carrie Underwood - Nancy the Waitress
Bob Saget - Himself
-----------------------------------
*The bakery is getting ready for the morning rush. The staff is seen doing various things such as mopping up the floors, cleaning tables, setting up the food…ect*
SOLOMON: Hi everyone-LOL
Ladonica: Daddy! *Hugs*
SOLOMON: Hi my little chocolate angel!-lol.
Vince: Hey, Mr. SOLOMON. Here to help out with the morning crowd?
SOLOMON: No, I just got bored of sitting in my office-LOL.
Vince: You…have an office?
SOLOMON: I created one-lol.
*The camera shows a small former closet next to the bathroom. The closet has been transformed into SOLOMON’S office – it includes a small, plastic toy chair, a school desk, and a small, 4-inch TV*
SOLOMON: *hears the Good Times theme song coming on* That’s my show-LOL. *runs into his office*
--THEME SONG: "Sugar Rush" by the A*Teens--
Vince: Alright, 7:00. Time to turn this closed sign to open.
Jonathon: YOU OPENED 5 SECONDS LATE TODAY. :mad: I HAVE A JOB, YOU KNOW. WHAT GIVES? I'M TIRED OF THIS. I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. :mad:
Vince: Sorry, sir…
Suzie: What can I get you this morning, Jonathon?
Jonathon: Just a coffee today, Suzie. :mad:
Suzie: Ok, I’ll get that for…
Jonathon: NOW!!!! :mad: I HATE THIS PLACE. :mad:
*Jack is shown sitting and staring at the wall when Derek walks into the bakery*
Derek: Dude, what are you staring at?
Jack: The wall.
Derek: Why?
Jack: I...
Derek: Don't care.
*Derek goes over and sits next to Vince, who looks depressed*
Derek: Why so glum, chum?
Vince: My landlords kicking me out cause I don't have enough to make the rent.
Derek: Why don't you ask SOLOMON for a raise?
Vince: I did.
Derek: And?
*Vince flashes back to 15 minutes ago as he approaches SOLOMON*
Vince: Can I have a raise?
SOLOMON: Sure.
Vince: Really? Thanks boss, I really apprecia...
SOLOMON: A raise of my foot up your backside if you ever ask me for a raise again-LOL
*Vince frowns before the flashback ends.*
Derek: Well you could always room in with me, I could use the extra cash.
Vince: Really? I don't know. Living with co-workers might get kind of awkward.
Jack: You could always live with me if you want, buddy.
Vince: *Looks at Derek* When can I move in?
Derek: How about tonight? Actually, no wait, Kelly's coming over tonight. *Grins* If you catch my drift.
Vince: You mean you guys...
Derek: Thats right, *Smiles* We're gonna read poetry and talk about our feelings!
Vince: Ok yeah, I definitely don't want to be there for that. See ya tommorow.
*Vince walks off*
*We see Ray calculating yesterday’s sales on his calculator*
Ray: Good news, guys! We made $740 yesterday! Our highest number yet!
*Everyone cheers*
Vince: Wow, $740 just on baked goods in one day…
Ladonica: What I find amazing, Ray, is…how do you figure out all those numbers? *strokes Ray’s hair and giggles*
Ray: It’s easy, really. I just take the total number of items we sold and divide it by…
*Ladonica loses interest*
Ladonica: That’s great, Ray. If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen…*winks and starts moving her body in a sexy-like way…until she knocks into the wall and falls flat down on her face. She gets up, looking embarrassed, winks at Ray once more, then disappears into the kitchen*
Ray: Uh, did she forget to take her meds again? Cause I can’t have a repeat of that one afternoon…
*Cut scene to Suzie and a customer, a mother and her daughter*
Suzie: And today, all of our cookies are on sale, half price…
*Ladonica prances on the counter*
Ladonica: I BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTUREEE!!! *takes chocolate chip cookie, stuffs it in the little girl’s mouth, then runs out of the store shouting “I’M DOING THE WORK OF THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS!*
*Tito, the big Hawaiin man who lives upstairs, hears this and looks out the window and scratches his head in confusion*
*End flashback*
Derek: Dude, can’t you see? She’s totally into you.
Ray: Ladonica? Nah…she can’t be.
Derek: Are you an IDIOT? Of course she is.
Ray: You really think so?
*Ladonica looks at Ray through the kitchen, winks, and fluffs her hair*
Ray: Wow. Ladonica. SOLOMON’s daughter, into me, the geeky math nerd dreaming of becoming the Channel 5 weatherman.
Derek: Well?
Ray: Well what?
Derek: Ask her out, man.
Ray: Now?
Derek: It’s now or never.
Ray: Ok. *Goes up to Ladonica, just as SOLOMON appears from his office.*
SOLOMON: Just looking for a snack-LOL.
Ladonica: *groans* Daddy, I’m hungry.
SOLOMON: Well, you’re working in a bakery, dear-LOL Help yourself.
Ladonica: No, I want a taco. Go find me a taco.
SOLOMON: I don’t think you can find a taco at 7 AM, sweetheart-LOL.
Ladonica: I want a taco! *uses puppy eyes*
SOLOMON: Ok FINE-LOL.
*SOLOMON goes in search of a taco.*
Ladonica: Now, Ray. What did you want? :grineyes:
Ray: Would…you…like to go out to dinner with me sometime?
Ladonica: Oh! I thought you’d NEVER ask.
Ray: Great! Let’s say, tonight?
Ladonica: Oh, no, I’m busy tonight. Me and my friends are going to see Chris Brown.
Suzie: *randomly pops in from nowhere* It’s gonna be OFF THE HIZZLE! *does weird hand signals*
Ladonica: No, Suzie. Just, no.
Suzie: :( *walks away*
Ladonica: Anyway, I'm busy tomorrow night too, and the night after is Friday night which is clubbin' night, so how about Saturday night?
Ray: Sure! That sounds great. I'll pick you up at 8, and we can...
*Just then SOLOMON walks back in.*
SOLOMON: Wow, who knew there was a 24-hour taco joint “Rocko’s Tacos” right next door to us?-LOL I got you your…RAY? What are you doing so close to my daughter?-LOL
Ray: Well, I just asked her on a date, sir.
SOLOMON: YOU…WHAT?-LOL
Ladonica: Daddy, please let me go! We’ve been into each other for a really, really long time!
*Flashback to the dinner from the last episode. Ray goes to grab a piece of bread at the same time as Ladonica.*
Ray: Oh, go ahead. Ladies first.
Ladonica: :D
*Flashback ends*
Ray: Sir, I think your daughter is a beautiful young lady, and I’d LOVE to take her out to dinner.
SOLOMON: FINE-LOL.
*Ray and Ladonica cheer*
SOLOMON: But I’ll be coming with you-LOL.
*Ray and Ladonica groan*
Ladonica: Daddy, you ALWAYS do this. It’s not fair!
SOLOMON: I’m sorry, but I just can’t let my precious sweetie go on a date all by herself-LOL.
Ladonica: Uh, I have before. Many times.
SOLOMON: WHAT?-LOL
Ladonica: You NEVER pay attention to anything I do.
SOLOMON: Do too-LOL. *thinks*. Ok, no I don’t-LOL. But that doesn’t change my mind. I’m coming with you on this date-lol. When is it?
Ladonica: *sighs* Saturday night at 8.
SOLOMON: Oh, this is so exciting!-LOL. I’m going to wear my very best outfit!-lol
*The next day, Derek is shown at his apartment staring lovingly at a picture of Kelly when there’s a knock at the door. Derek answers it, as Vince walks in with his stuff*
Derek: Welcome to Castle Derek.
Vince: Castle Derek?
Derek: Yeah, thats what I call it.
Vince: Where's my room?
Derek: Down the hall to the left, right next to my room and my Kelly shrine.
Vince: Kelly shrine?
Derek: Yeah you know, just a few pictures of her...and a painting...and a statue.
Vince: Dude, you have problems.
Derek: Yeah...I know. Need any help?
Vince: Nah, I got it.
*Vince brings his stuff into his room, then comes out*
Derek: So you don't like do any weird stuff do you? Cause if you do, you should probably let me know now.
Vince: Weird like keeping a shrine of my girlfriend?
Derek: You don't have a girlfriend.
Vince: *Frowns* Thanks for reminding me.
Derek: Sorry, man. Hey you know, you should go meet Brenda down the hall in 3B. She'll date ANYONE.
Vince: You think I'm so desperate that I'd go out with a girl like that?
Derek: Yeah.
Vince: You're right, 3B you say?
Derek: Right.
Vince: See ya.
*Vince walks out the door.*
*Later on, Derek is shown sitting on the couch making out with Kelly when theres a knock at the door. Derek gets up and opens the door as Vince walks in depressed*
Derek: How'd it go?
Vince: I got turned down.
Derek: *Shocked* By BRENDA? I've NEVER seen anyone get turned down by Brenda.
Vince: Well now ya HAVE.
Derek: So why were you gone so long?
Vince: I went for a walk to cry and reflect on my miserable existence.
Derek: Ah, well bring your key next time cause I don't like being interupted when we're making out.
Kelly: Derek, be nice. Don't worry Vince, I'm sure theres a girl out there for you somewhere.
Vince: I don't want her out SOMEWHERE, I want her HERE. *Sighs* I don't know...I just feel so alone sometimes, you know? When I talk it feels like nobody's listening. It feels like nobody cares. You know what I mean, guys?....guys?
*Vince notices Derek and Kelly are making out again*
Vince: Oh, forget it.
*Vince walks to his room*
*The next day around closing time, everyone is closing up the bakery. It's Friday night, and everyone is looking forward to a weekend off.*
Vince: Ok guys, clean up the bakery fast so we can all get out of here.
Derek: Sure thing, pal. *begins to mop up until he sees Jack*
Derek: Hey, Jack, my arms are really sore. Can you mop up for me?
Jack: Sure! :D
*Derek snickers*
Vince: Oh, and Luke, PLEASE remember to clean up the kitchen tonight. I don’t wanna come in tomorrow morning to find egg shells and dough all over the kitchen floor.
Luke: I’m sorry, but Jack was telling me a joke, so I had to run out of the bakery as quickly as possible.
Vince: Oh, ok. Understandable. Just try and avoid him tonight.
*Ray walks up to Derek*
Ray: Hey man…do you have any dating tips for me?
Derek: What, you’ve never been on a date before?
Ray: I have, but it’s been a few years. I’m a little rusty.
Jack: I have plenty of advice!
Derek: Have you ever BEEN on a date before?
Jack: Sure have! No woman can RESIST a night with Jack Daniels!
*Jack points at the camera and winks*
Derek: Anyway, Ray…basically, just be yourself, I guess. And as for SOLOMON, just pretend he’s not there. He probably only wants to go for the food, I doubt he’ll bother you much.
Ray: Yeah…he probably IS only going for the food *laughs*. Thanks, man. I’m feeling good about this date.
*The next night, Ray goes to Ladonica's house to pick her, and SOLOMON, up.*
Ray: Hi, Ladonica!
Ladonica: Hi, Ray! Come on in.
*They walk in together*
SOLOMON: LADONICA!-LOL, does my tie look…oh, he’s HERE-LOL. I haven’t even done my hair yet-lol.
*The camera zooms into to show four strands of hair on SOLOMON all sticking up*
SOLOMON: Give me five minutes-LOL.
*SOLOMON runs upstairs*
Ladonica: Um, sorry about him. He’s feeling edgy tonight.
Ray: That’s alright.
Ladonica: So, where are we going to eat?
Ray: I found this great little place about a mile away. It’s a little italian eatery. The food is delicious, and the atmosphere is…
SOLOMON: Hi guys!-LOL do you like my outfit? Keep in mind that if you say no, I might have to throw myself off a cliff-lol Sorry, just a little touchy about the looks-LOL.
Ray: It looks great, SOLOMON, uh, sir.
Ladonica: *whispering to Ray* Why didn’t you say no and we could’ve gone without him?
SOLOMON: So, where are we going tonight?-LOL
Ray: A restaurant called “Little Sicily”. It’s about a mile away.
SOLOMON: Sounds great-LOL!
Ladonica: Yeah.
Ray: So…let’s get going then. *takes out his car keys and goes to unlock his car, until SOLOMON stops him*
SOLOMON: Oh no, Ray-LOL I’ll be you and Ladonica’s escort tonight. I’ll do the driving-LOL.
Ray: Wow, really? Thanks! That’s really nice of you.
*They get into the car*
Ray: I bought you flowers, sweetie. *hands flowers to Ladonica*
Ladonica: Oh, these are beautiful! Thanks so much.
SOLOMON: How nice of you, Ray-LOL. *takes the flowers from Ladonica* Oh wait, are those TULIPS? I’m allergic to tulips-LOL. Uh oh…
*starts sneezing all over the flowers*
SOLOMON: Oh well, it’s the thought that counts-LOL
*throws the flowers out the window*
Ladonica: Dad!
SOLOMON: Sweetie I’m allergic to tulips-LOL can’t have those lying around the house.
*SOLOMON stops the car*
Ladonica: Are we there already?
Ray: No…this isn’t Little Sicily…
SOLOMON: Oh sorry kids-LOL just have to make a little pit stop.
*SOLOMON ventures into a dark alley. A man in all black approaches him*
SOLOMON: You got the goods, Fernando?-LOL
Fernando: You got the money, SOLOMON?
SOLOMON: Of course-LOL *hands him $150 as Fernando hands him a brown paper bag* Thanks, I really appreciate this-LOL.
*SOLOMON smiles as he walks away. He opens the bag and takes out three VHS tapes as he gets into the car*
SOLOMON: YES!-LOL 24 episodes of Sanford and Son taped from their original run.
Ladonica: You payed $150 for that?!
SOLOMON: I’ll take what I can get-LOL *starts the car*
SOLOMON: *After one minute of silence* Why’s it so quiet? You two better not be getting frisky back there-LOL
*The camera shows Ladonica and Ray playing Ray’s gameboy*
Ladonica: GO! GO! GO! You’re doing great!
SOLOMON: WHAT?!-LOL
*SOLOMON quickly stops the car, but too fast as he knocks it into a lamppost and totals it*
SOLOMON: Woops-LOL Is everyone ok?-LOL. BUT WHY WERE YOU TWO GETTING FRISKY IN MY BACK SEAT-LOL
Ladonica: Daddy, we were playing Game Boy!
SOLOMON: Oh-LOL Boy do I feel stupid.
Ray: Well, it’s alright. Little Sicily is only about a block away.
*They walk to Little Sicily and are seated immediately.*
SOLOMON: Wow, this bread is delicious-LOL. *eats it all as Ladonica and Ray watch in horror*
Ray: So, Ladonica? What are your dreams for the future?
Ladonica: I’ve never really thought about it before. I think I’m going to marry rich and become one of those stay-at-home moms who do cooking shows from their kitchen. And you’re on your way to becoming a rich man, Ray.
Ray: Really? You think so? :D
Ladonica: Sure. With all of those..
SOLOMON: HEY RAY, TAKE A LOOK AT THAT WAITRESS BENDING DOWN OVER THERE-LOL.
Ray: I’m on a date…with your daughter. I don’t think I should be looking at…
SOLOMON: OH MAMA, COME OVER HERE SWEET LEGS-LOL.
*The waitress walks by their table*
Waitress: Excuse me?
SOLOMON: SOLOMON WANTS A PIECE OF THAT A$$, DEAR!-LOL
*Ladonica and Ray try and hide their faces*
Waitress: Sir, you’re a pig. Go find someone your own weight. *walks away*
SOLOMON: PLAYIN’ HARD TO GET ARE WE?-LOL
*Waitress comes back*
SOLOMON: I knew you’d return, sweet thang!-LOL
Waitress: I’m Nancy. I’ll be serving you tonight.
SOLOMON: OH GOOD-LOL.
Waitress: Can I start you off with something to drink?
Ray: I’ll have a water.
Ladonica: I’ll have a coke.
SOLOMON: I’ll have a water, a coke, a ginger ale, and *winks* some Nancy juice-LOL.
Waitress Nancy: You’re disgusting. And, I’ll be back in a few minutes with those drinks.
Ladonica: Dad, could you NOT hit on our waitress for once?
SOLOMON: No–LOL
Ray: So, Ladonica, how do you like working at the bakery?
Ladonica: It’s alright. I mostly like it for you. ;)
*Waitress Nancy comes with the drinks*
Waitress Nancy: Here’s your water, sir…your Coke, ma’am…and your water, coke, and ginger ale, sir.
SOLOMON: *takes sip of Ginger Ale* EW THIS GINGER ALE TASTES LIKE A$$-LOL. TAKE IT BACK-lol.
Ladonica: I’m so sorry about my Dad, Ray.
Ray: It’s alright. As long as I get to spend time with you.
*Later, everyone is seen enjoying their dinners.*
Ladonica: I’m having a really fun time, Ray.
Ray: Me too, Ladonica.
Ladonica: You’re so sweet.
Ray: Not as sweet as you. :D
SOLOMON: NOT AS SWEET AS THIS DELICIOUS PIECE OF LASAGNA-LOL.
*Ray goes to kiss Ladonica, but SOLOMON sees*
SOLOMON: NO YOU DON’T-LOL.
*SOLOMON gets up from his seat and BODYSLAMS himself on the table, destroying everything on it, to rip the two apart*
Ladonica: DADDY! How could you!
Ray: SIR! I wasn’t even done with my stuffed shell. I have to go to the bathroom *runs off*
Ladonica: *sigh*
*We see Ray standing in the corner of the bathroom*
Ray *to himself*: I really like Ladonica, but is this how every date is going to be? I don’t think I can take that. I guess I have to tell her I can’t see her again, but that would break her heart. I have no idea what to do.
*Bob Saget comes out of a stall as the Full House lecture music begins to play*
Bob Saget: Ray, I know it’s tough for you to understand, but SOLOMON is just being a protective father.
Ray: Have you been in there the entire time?
Bob Saget: Oh, no. Ever since Full House ended, I’ve gotten the power to transport myself to visit people who are feeling down and give them powerful lectures. Anyway…Ray, if you like Ladonica, continue to see her. But calmly tell SOLOMON that you think Ladonica should be able to go out on dates with you alone.
Ray: But SOLOMON is a crazy guy. And my boss. Who knows what he’ll do to me?
Bob Saget: Deep down, he’s just a father who’s all torn up watching his little girl grow up. I went through it many times on Full House. *looks into camera* Which just recently released it’s eighth season DVD, a great late Christmas present for your kids!
Ray: I guess you're right. I’ll talk to him.
*Ray leaves the bathroom and goes back to the table*
SOLOMON: I bet NANCY will find me even more attractive with all of this spaghetti sauce on me-LOL.
Ray: Sir, can I speak to you?
SOLOMON: Yes, but if this is about my Sanford and Son tapes, YOU CAN’T HAVE THEM-LOL.
Ray: *laughs* Nah, you can keep them. I just want to let you know that while it was nice having you on this date, I think Ladonica is ready to go out with me on her own next time.
SOLOMON: WHAT? HOW DARE YOU-LOL.
Ray: Sir, I know it’s hard to let go, but Ladonica is a big girl now.
SOLOMON: Well, I always said she was gonna grow up to be nice and THICK-LOL, just like her father.
Ray: No, not that kind of big…she’s all grown up. It’s time for you to let go.
SOLOMON: I guess your right-lol. But it’s just so hard. She’s my baby, and I want to be a part of everything she does, when there’s not a good show on TV Land-LOL.
*Bob Saget appears again*
Bob Saget: SOLOMON, I know it’s hard. I’ve gone through it many times. But sometimes, you just have to let your little girl fly away and reach her full potential.
SOLOMON: I guess you guys are right-LOL.
Bob Saget: I KNOW I’m right.
SOLOMON: Thanks, Bob. You’re a lifesaver-LOL.
Ray: I think this calls for a group hug.
*Ladonica, Ray, SOLOMON, and Bob Saget engage in a large group hug*
*Late at night Vince is shown laying in bed looking depressed as Derek can be heard from the other room*
Derek's voice: *Snores* I love you too, Kelly....*Snores* Of course I want to get married and have kids that look JUST like us....*Snores* I totally agree, turtles ARE awesome.
*Vince suddenly gets mad and storms into Derek's room with a pillow and throws it at him and wakes him up. Derek wakes up and turns on the lamp*
Derek: What?
Vince: You were talking in your sleep. Do you have ANY idea how annoying that is? I've lived here for three days, and you've done that every night...ALL NIGHT LONG.
Derek: You wanna talk annoying?
*Derek gets out of bed revealing pajamas with Kelly's face on them*
Derek: At least I don't get URINE on the bathroom floor. Thats not only annoying, its UNSANITARY.
Vince: I HAVE A PROBLEM, I CAN'T HELP IT.
Derek: I have a problem too, and his name is VINCE.
Vince: Well then MAYBE I'LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Derek: GO AHEAD. Why don't you try Brenda's apartment? No wait, you're the ONLY GUY ON EARTH she's not interested in.
*Vince gets a look of RAGE on his face*
Vince: You wanna go?
Derek: BRING IT ON.
*Derek and Vince get into a vicious slap fight that lasts about 20 seconds before they stop*
Derek: This is getting us nowhere.
Vince: I know, we fight like girls.
Derek: I mean we shouldn't be fighting anyway. We're friends...sorta.
Vince: You're right. Out of the people we work with, you're one of the people I hate the least.
Derek: Thanks man, you two. Maybe we can give this another try?
Vince: Alright, but can you and Kelly cut down on the mushy stuff?
Derek: No, but I'll buy you ear plugs for my sleep talking if you stop peeing on the floor.
Vince: Easier said than done man, but I'll try.
Derek: Good. I gotta get some sleep though, SOLOMON wants me in early to clean the bathroom tommorow morning...which means I gotta be sure I'm there to make sure Jack does it.
Vince: Alright, night.
Derek: Night.
*Vince walks out as Derek turns out the lights and goes back to bed*
*Monday morning, everyone is enjoying some baked sweets before they have to get ready to open the bakery. Ray walks in and Derek greets him.*
Derek: Raymundo! How did the date go?
Ray: It went ok. Actually, it went terribly. SOLOMON got us evicted from the restaurant after he destroyed an entire table when he bodyslammed himself on it to stop me and Ladonica from kissing.
Derek: Wow. That's awful. Sorry about that.
Ray: Nah, it's okay. Bob Saget came and lectured us afterwards and SOLOMON agreed to let us go off on our own. We were going to go ice skating, but we decided we were really tired and went home. But we're going out again on Thursday.
Derek: Wow! Congratulations man.
*Ladonica and SOLOMON enter the bakery, arguing*
Ladonica: Daddy, you're crazy. There is SO much proof that Good Times is a spin-off of Maude...
SOLOMON: SHUT UP, LADONICA-LOL. I'm going into my office to watch some more Good Times to prove to you that it is NOT a spin-off of Maude-LOL.
*Ladonica notices Ray*
Ladonica: Hey, Ray. *winks* Are we on for Thursday?
Ray: Of course! I was thinking...
*Suzie runs over to Ladonica*
Suzie: Ladonica, Jack just made a joke about black people.
Ladonica: WHAT? WHY I OUGHTA...
*Ladonica runs off to find Jack, then stops and turns around to wink and wave at Ray. She then continues to run off into the kitchen with a spatula. Ray looks out the window and smiles as Jack is heard begging for mercy and crying in the backround.*
CAST:
Chad Doody - Derek
TF - Ray
Joseph Samaroa aka Rurry - Vince
Lynn - Suzie
Jack Wilson - Jack Daniels
Davey - Luke
Jackie aka Ravey - Ladonica
Ashlee - Paris Shatner
Karen - Lisa Shatner
Hilary Duff - Kelly
SOLOMON - SOLOMON
James Avery - Al
GUEST CAST:
EFD - Jonathon
Tito from Rocket Power - Tito
Tony Danza - Fernando
Carrie Underwood - Nancy the Waitress
Bob Saget - Himself
-----------------------------------
*The bakery is getting ready for the morning rush. The staff is seen doing various things such as mopping up the floors, cleaning tables, setting up the food…ect*
SOLOMON: Hi everyone-LOL
Ladonica: Daddy! *Hugs*
SOLOMON: Hi my little chocolate angel!-lol.
Vince: Hey, Mr. SOLOMON. Here to help out with the morning crowd?
SOLOMON: No, I just got bored of sitting in my office-LOL.
Vince: You…have an office?
SOLOMON: I created one-lol.
*The camera shows a small former closet next to the bathroom. The closet has been transformed into SOLOMON’S office – it includes a small, plastic toy chair, a school desk, and a small, 4-inch TV*
SOLOMON: *hears the Good Times theme song coming on* That’s my show-LOL. *runs into his office*
--THEME SONG: "Sugar Rush" by the A*Teens--
Vince: Alright, 7:00. Time to turn this closed sign to open.
Jonathon: YOU OPENED 5 SECONDS LATE TODAY. :mad: I HAVE A JOB, YOU KNOW. WHAT GIVES? I'M TIRED OF THIS. I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. :mad:
Vince: Sorry, sir…
Suzie: What can I get you this morning, Jonathon?
Jonathon: Just a coffee today, Suzie. :mad:
Suzie: Ok, I’ll get that for…
Jonathon: NOW!!!! :mad: I HATE THIS PLACE. :mad:
*Jack is shown sitting and staring at the wall when Derek walks into the bakery*
Derek: Dude, what are you staring at?
Jack: The wall.
Derek: Why?
Jack: I...
Derek: Don't care.
*Derek goes over and sits next to Vince, who looks depressed*
Derek: Why so glum, chum?
Vince: My landlords kicking me out cause I don't have enough to make the rent.
Derek: Why don't you ask SOLOMON for a raise?
Vince: I did.
Derek: And?
*Vince flashes back to 15 minutes ago as he approaches SOLOMON*
Vince: Can I have a raise?
SOLOMON: Sure.
Vince: Really? Thanks boss, I really apprecia...
SOLOMON: A raise of my foot up your backside if you ever ask me for a raise again-LOL
*Vince frowns before the flashback ends.*
Derek: Well you could always room in with me, I could use the extra cash.
Vince: Really? I don't know. Living with co-workers might get kind of awkward.
Jack: You could always live with me if you want, buddy.
Vince: *Looks at Derek* When can I move in?
Derek: How about tonight? Actually, no wait, Kelly's coming over tonight. *Grins* If you catch my drift.
Vince: You mean you guys...
Derek: Thats right, *Smiles* We're gonna read poetry and talk about our feelings!
Vince: Ok yeah, I definitely don't want to be there for that. See ya tommorow.
*Vince walks off*
*We see Ray calculating yesterday’s sales on his calculator*
Ray: Good news, guys! We made $740 yesterday! Our highest number yet!
*Everyone cheers*
Vince: Wow, $740 just on baked goods in one day…
Ladonica: What I find amazing, Ray, is…how do you figure out all those numbers? *strokes Ray’s hair and giggles*
Ray: It’s easy, really. I just take the total number of items we sold and divide it by…
*Ladonica loses interest*
Ladonica: That’s great, Ray. If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen…*winks and starts moving her body in a sexy-like way…until she knocks into the wall and falls flat down on her face. She gets up, looking embarrassed, winks at Ray once more, then disappears into the kitchen*
Ray: Uh, did she forget to take her meds again? Cause I can’t have a repeat of that one afternoon…
*Cut scene to Suzie and a customer, a mother and her daughter*
Suzie: And today, all of our cookies are on sale, half price…
*Ladonica prances on the counter*
Ladonica: I BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTUREEE!!! *takes chocolate chip cookie, stuffs it in the little girl’s mouth, then runs out of the store shouting “I’M DOING THE WORK OF THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS!*
*Tito, the big Hawaiin man who lives upstairs, hears this and looks out the window and scratches his head in confusion*
*End flashback*
Derek: Dude, can’t you see? She’s totally into you.
Ray: Ladonica? Nah…she can’t be.
Derek: Are you an IDIOT? Of course she is.
Ray: You really think so?
*Ladonica looks at Ray through the kitchen, winks, and fluffs her hair*
Ray: Wow. Ladonica. SOLOMON’s daughter, into me, the geeky math nerd dreaming of becoming the Channel 5 weatherman.
Derek: Well?
Ray: Well what?
Derek: Ask her out, man.
Ray: Now?
Derek: It’s now or never.
Ray: Ok. *Goes up to Ladonica, just as SOLOMON appears from his office.*
SOLOMON: Just looking for a snack-LOL.
Ladonica: *groans* Daddy, I’m hungry.
SOLOMON: Well, you’re working in a bakery, dear-LOL Help yourself.
Ladonica: No, I want a taco. Go find me a taco.
SOLOMON: I don’t think you can find a taco at 7 AM, sweetheart-LOL.
Ladonica: I want a taco! *uses puppy eyes*
SOLOMON: Ok FINE-LOL.
*SOLOMON goes in search of a taco.*
Ladonica: Now, Ray. What did you want? :grineyes:
Ray: Would…you…like to go out to dinner with me sometime?
Ladonica: Oh! I thought you’d NEVER ask.
Ray: Great! Let’s say, tonight?
Ladonica: Oh, no, I’m busy tonight. Me and my friends are going to see Chris Brown.
Suzie: *randomly pops in from nowhere* It’s gonna be OFF THE HIZZLE! *does weird hand signals*
Ladonica: No, Suzie. Just, no.
Suzie: :( *walks away*
Ladonica: Anyway, I'm busy tomorrow night too, and the night after is Friday night which is clubbin' night, so how about Saturday night?
Ray: Sure! That sounds great. I'll pick you up at 8, and we can...
*Just then SOLOMON walks back in.*
SOLOMON: Wow, who knew there was a 24-hour taco joint “Rocko’s Tacos” right next door to us?-LOL I got you your…RAY? What are you doing so close to my daughter?-LOL
Ray: Well, I just asked her on a date, sir.
SOLOMON: YOU…WHAT?-LOL
Ladonica: Daddy, please let me go! We’ve been into each other for a really, really long time!
*Flashback to the dinner from the last episode. Ray goes to grab a piece of bread at the same time as Ladonica.*
Ray: Oh, go ahead. Ladies first.
Ladonica: :D
*Flashback ends*
Ray: Sir, I think your daughter is a beautiful young lady, and I’d LOVE to take her out to dinner.
SOLOMON: FINE-LOL.
*Ray and Ladonica cheer*
SOLOMON: But I’ll be coming with you-LOL.
*Ray and Ladonica groan*
Ladonica: Daddy, you ALWAYS do this. It’s not fair!
SOLOMON: I’m sorry, but I just can’t let my precious sweetie go on a date all by herself-LOL.
Ladonica: Uh, I have before. Many times.
SOLOMON: WHAT?-LOL
Ladonica: You NEVER pay attention to anything I do.
SOLOMON: Do too-LOL. *thinks*. Ok, no I don’t-LOL. But that doesn’t change my mind. I’m coming with you on this date-lol. When is it?
Ladonica: *sighs* Saturday night at 8.
SOLOMON: Oh, this is so exciting!-LOL. I’m going to wear my very best outfit!-lol
*The next day, Derek is shown at his apartment staring lovingly at a picture of Kelly when there’s a knock at the door. Derek answers it, as Vince walks in with his stuff*
Derek: Welcome to Castle Derek.
Vince: Castle Derek?
Derek: Yeah, thats what I call it.
Vince: Where's my room?
Derek: Down the hall to the left, right next to my room and my Kelly shrine.
Vince: Kelly shrine?
Derek: Yeah you know, just a few pictures of her...and a painting...and a statue.
Vince: Dude, you have problems.
Derek: Yeah...I know. Need any help?
Vince: Nah, I got it.
*Vince brings his stuff into his room, then comes out*
Derek: So you don't like do any weird stuff do you? Cause if you do, you should probably let me know now.
Vince: Weird like keeping a shrine of my girlfriend?
Derek: You don't have a girlfriend.
Vince: *Frowns* Thanks for reminding me.
Derek: Sorry, man. Hey you know, you should go meet Brenda down the hall in 3B. She'll date ANYONE.
Vince: You think I'm so desperate that I'd go out with a girl like that?
Derek: Yeah.
Vince: You're right, 3B you say?
Derek: Right.
Vince: See ya.
*Vince walks out the door.*
*Later on, Derek is shown sitting on the couch making out with Kelly when theres a knock at the door. Derek gets up and opens the door as Vince walks in depressed*
Derek: How'd it go?
Vince: I got turned down.
Derek: *Shocked* By BRENDA? I've NEVER seen anyone get turned down by Brenda.
Vince: Well now ya HAVE.
Derek: So why were you gone so long?
Vince: I went for a walk to cry and reflect on my miserable existence.
Derek: Ah, well bring your key next time cause I don't like being interupted when we're making out.
Kelly: Derek, be nice. Don't worry Vince, I'm sure theres a girl out there for you somewhere.
Vince: I don't want her out SOMEWHERE, I want her HERE. *Sighs* I don't know...I just feel so alone sometimes, you know? When I talk it feels like nobody's listening. It feels like nobody cares. You know what I mean, guys?....guys?
*Vince notices Derek and Kelly are making out again*
Vince: Oh, forget it.
*Vince walks to his room*
*The next day around closing time, everyone is closing up the bakery. It's Friday night, and everyone is looking forward to a weekend off.*
Vince: Ok guys, clean up the bakery fast so we can all get out of here.
Derek: Sure thing, pal. *begins to mop up until he sees Jack*
Derek: Hey, Jack, my arms are really sore. Can you mop up for me?
Jack: Sure! :D
*Derek snickers*
Vince: Oh, and Luke, PLEASE remember to clean up the kitchen tonight. I don’t wanna come in tomorrow morning to find egg shells and dough all over the kitchen floor.
Luke: I’m sorry, but Jack was telling me a joke, so I had to run out of the bakery as quickly as possible.
Vince: Oh, ok. Understandable. Just try and avoid him tonight.
*Ray walks up to Derek*
Ray: Hey man…do you have any dating tips for me?
Derek: What, you’ve never been on a date before?
Ray: I have, but it’s been a few years. I’m a little rusty.
Jack: I have plenty of advice!
Derek: Have you ever BEEN on a date before?
Jack: Sure have! No woman can RESIST a night with Jack Daniels!
*Jack points at the camera and winks*
Derek: Anyway, Ray…basically, just be yourself, I guess. And as for SOLOMON, just pretend he’s not there. He probably only wants to go for the food, I doubt he’ll bother you much.
Ray: Yeah…he probably IS only going for the food *laughs*. Thanks, man. I’m feeling good about this date.
*The next night, Ray goes to Ladonica's house to pick her, and SOLOMON, up.*
Ray: Hi, Ladonica!
Ladonica: Hi, Ray! Come on in.
*They walk in together*
SOLOMON: LADONICA!-LOL, does my tie look…oh, he’s HERE-LOL. I haven’t even done my hair yet-lol.
*The camera zooms into to show four strands of hair on SOLOMON all sticking up*
SOLOMON: Give me five minutes-LOL.
*SOLOMON runs upstairs*
Ladonica: Um, sorry about him. He’s feeling edgy tonight.
Ray: That’s alright.
Ladonica: So, where are we going to eat?
Ray: I found this great little place about a mile away. It’s a little italian eatery. The food is delicious, and the atmosphere is…
SOLOMON: Hi guys!-LOL do you like my outfit? Keep in mind that if you say no, I might have to throw myself off a cliff-lol Sorry, just a little touchy about the looks-LOL.
Ray: It looks great, SOLOMON, uh, sir.
Ladonica: *whispering to Ray* Why didn’t you say no and we could’ve gone without him?
SOLOMON: So, where are we going tonight?-LOL
Ray: A restaurant called “Little Sicily”. It’s about a mile away.
SOLOMON: Sounds great-LOL!
Ladonica: Yeah.
Ray: So…let’s get going then. *takes out his car keys and goes to unlock his car, until SOLOMON stops him*
SOLOMON: Oh no, Ray-LOL I’ll be you and Ladonica’s escort tonight. I’ll do the driving-LOL.
Ray: Wow, really? Thanks! That’s really nice of you.
*They get into the car*
Ray: I bought you flowers, sweetie. *hands flowers to Ladonica*
Ladonica: Oh, these are beautiful! Thanks so much.
SOLOMON: How nice of you, Ray-LOL. *takes the flowers from Ladonica* Oh wait, are those TULIPS? I’m allergic to tulips-LOL. Uh oh…
*starts sneezing all over the flowers*
SOLOMON: Oh well, it’s the thought that counts-LOL
*throws the flowers out the window*
Ladonica: Dad!
SOLOMON: Sweetie I’m allergic to tulips-LOL can’t have those lying around the house.
*SOLOMON stops the car*
Ladonica: Are we there already?
Ray: No…this isn’t Little Sicily…
SOLOMON: Oh sorry kids-LOL just have to make a little pit stop.
*SOLOMON ventures into a dark alley. A man in all black approaches him*
SOLOMON: You got the goods, Fernando?-LOL
Fernando: You got the money, SOLOMON?
SOLOMON: Of course-LOL *hands him $150 as Fernando hands him a brown paper bag* Thanks, I really appreciate this-LOL.
*SOLOMON smiles as he walks away. He opens the bag and takes out three VHS tapes as he gets into the car*
SOLOMON: YES!-LOL 24 episodes of Sanford and Son taped from their original run.
Ladonica: You payed $150 for that?!
SOLOMON: I’ll take what I can get-LOL *starts the car*
SOLOMON: *After one minute of silence* Why’s it so quiet? You two better not be getting frisky back there-LOL
*The camera shows Ladonica and Ray playing Ray’s gameboy*
Ladonica: GO! GO! GO! You’re doing great!
SOLOMON: WHAT?!-LOL
*SOLOMON quickly stops the car, but too fast as he knocks it into a lamppost and totals it*
SOLOMON: Woops-LOL Is everyone ok?-LOL. BUT WHY WERE YOU TWO GETTING FRISKY IN MY BACK SEAT-LOL
Ladonica: Daddy, we were playing Game Boy!
SOLOMON: Oh-LOL Boy do I feel stupid.
Ray: Well, it’s alright. Little Sicily is only about a block away.
*They walk to Little Sicily and are seated immediately.*
SOLOMON: Wow, this bread is delicious-LOL. *eats it all as Ladonica and Ray watch in horror*
Ray: So, Ladonica? What are your dreams for the future?
Ladonica: I’ve never really thought about it before. I think I’m going to marry rich and become one of those stay-at-home moms who do cooking shows from their kitchen. And you’re on your way to becoming a rich man, Ray.
Ray: Really? You think so? :D
Ladonica: Sure. With all of those..
SOLOMON: HEY RAY, TAKE A LOOK AT THAT WAITRESS BENDING DOWN OVER THERE-LOL.
Ray: I’m on a date…with your daughter. I don’t think I should be looking at…
SOLOMON: OH MAMA, COME OVER HERE SWEET LEGS-LOL.
*The waitress walks by their table*
Waitress: Excuse me?
SOLOMON: SOLOMON WANTS A PIECE OF THAT A$$, DEAR!-LOL
*Ladonica and Ray try and hide their faces*
Waitress: Sir, you’re a pig. Go find someone your own weight. *walks away*
SOLOMON: PLAYIN’ HARD TO GET ARE WE?-LOL
*Waitress comes back*
SOLOMON: I knew you’d return, sweet thang!-LOL
Waitress: I’m Nancy. I’ll be serving you tonight.
SOLOMON: OH GOOD-LOL.
Waitress: Can I start you off with something to drink?
Ray: I’ll have a water.
Ladonica: I’ll have a coke.
SOLOMON: I’ll have a water, a coke, a ginger ale, and *winks* some Nancy juice-LOL.
Waitress Nancy: You’re disgusting. And, I’ll be back in a few minutes with those drinks.
Ladonica: Dad, could you NOT hit on our waitress for once?
SOLOMON: No–LOL
Ray: So, Ladonica, how do you like working at the bakery?
Ladonica: It’s alright. I mostly like it for you. ;)
*Waitress Nancy comes with the drinks*
Waitress Nancy: Here’s your water, sir…your Coke, ma’am…and your water, coke, and ginger ale, sir.
SOLOMON: *takes sip of Ginger Ale* EW THIS GINGER ALE TASTES LIKE A$$-LOL. TAKE IT BACK-lol.
Ladonica: I’m so sorry about my Dad, Ray.
Ray: It’s alright. As long as I get to spend time with you.
*Later, everyone is seen enjoying their dinners.*
Ladonica: I’m having a really fun time, Ray.
Ray: Me too, Ladonica.
Ladonica: You’re so sweet.
Ray: Not as sweet as you. :D
SOLOMON: NOT AS SWEET AS THIS DELICIOUS PIECE OF LASAGNA-LOL.
*Ray goes to kiss Ladonica, but SOLOMON sees*
SOLOMON: NO YOU DON’T-LOL.
*SOLOMON gets up from his seat and BODYSLAMS himself on the table, destroying everything on it, to rip the two apart*
Ladonica: DADDY! How could you!
Ray: SIR! I wasn’t even done with my stuffed shell. I have to go to the bathroom *runs off*
Ladonica: *sigh*
*We see Ray standing in the corner of the bathroom*
Ray *to himself*: I really like Ladonica, but is this how every date is going to be? I don’t think I can take that. I guess I have to tell her I can’t see her again, but that would break her heart. I have no idea what to do.
*Bob Saget comes out of a stall as the Full House lecture music begins to play*
Bob Saget: Ray, I know it’s tough for you to understand, but SOLOMON is just being a protective father.
Ray: Have you been in there the entire time?
Bob Saget: Oh, no. Ever since Full House ended, I’ve gotten the power to transport myself to visit people who are feeling down and give them powerful lectures. Anyway…Ray, if you like Ladonica, continue to see her. But calmly tell SOLOMON that you think Ladonica should be able to go out on dates with you alone.
Ray: But SOLOMON is a crazy guy. And my boss. Who knows what he’ll do to me?
Bob Saget: Deep down, he’s just a father who’s all torn up watching his little girl grow up. I went through it many times on Full House. *looks into camera* Which just recently released it’s eighth season DVD, a great late Christmas present for your kids!
Ray: I guess you're right. I’ll talk to him.
*Ray leaves the bathroom and goes back to the table*
SOLOMON: I bet NANCY will find me even more attractive with all of this spaghetti sauce on me-LOL.
Ray: Sir, can I speak to you?
SOLOMON: Yes, but if this is about my Sanford and Son tapes, YOU CAN’T HAVE THEM-LOL.
Ray: *laughs* Nah, you can keep them. I just want to let you know that while it was nice having you on this date, I think Ladonica is ready to go out with me on her own next time.
SOLOMON: WHAT? HOW DARE YOU-LOL.
Ray: Sir, I know it’s hard to let go, but Ladonica is a big girl now.
SOLOMON: Well, I always said she was gonna grow up to be nice and THICK-LOL, just like her father.
Ray: No, not that kind of big…she’s all grown up. It’s time for you to let go.
SOLOMON: I guess your right-lol. But it’s just so hard. She’s my baby, and I want to be a part of everything she does, when there’s not a good show on TV Land-LOL.
*Bob Saget appears again*
Bob Saget: SOLOMON, I know it’s hard. I’ve gone through it many times. But sometimes, you just have to let your little girl fly away and reach her full potential.
SOLOMON: I guess you guys are right-LOL.
Bob Saget: I KNOW I’m right.
SOLOMON: Thanks, Bob. You’re a lifesaver-LOL.
Ray: I think this calls for a group hug.
*Ladonica, Ray, SOLOMON, and Bob Saget engage in a large group hug*
*Late at night Vince is shown laying in bed looking depressed as Derek can be heard from the other room*
Derek's voice: *Snores* I love you too, Kelly....*Snores* Of course I want to get married and have kids that look JUST like us....*Snores* I totally agree, turtles ARE awesome.
*Vince suddenly gets mad and storms into Derek's room with a pillow and throws it at him and wakes him up. Derek wakes up and turns on the lamp*
Derek: What?
Vince: You were talking in your sleep. Do you have ANY idea how annoying that is? I've lived here for three days, and you've done that every night...ALL NIGHT LONG.
Derek: You wanna talk annoying?
*Derek gets out of bed revealing pajamas with Kelly's face on them*
Derek: At least I don't get URINE on the bathroom floor. Thats not only annoying, its UNSANITARY.
Vince: I HAVE A PROBLEM, I CAN'T HELP IT.
Derek: I have a problem too, and his name is VINCE.
Vince: Well then MAYBE I'LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Derek: GO AHEAD. Why don't you try Brenda's apartment? No wait, you're the ONLY GUY ON EARTH she's not interested in.
*Vince gets a look of RAGE on his face*
Vince: You wanna go?
Derek: BRING IT ON.
*Derek and Vince get into a vicious slap fight that lasts about 20 seconds before they stop*
Derek: This is getting us nowhere.
Vince: I know, we fight like girls.
Derek: I mean we shouldn't be fighting anyway. We're friends...sorta.
Vince: You're right. Out of the people we work with, you're one of the people I hate the least.
Derek: Thanks man, you two. Maybe we can give this another try?
Vince: Alright, but can you and Kelly cut down on the mushy stuff?
Derek: No, but I'll buy you ear plugs for my sleep talking if you stop peeing on the floor.
Vince: Easier said than done man, but I'll try.
Derek: Good. I gotta get some sleep though, SOLOMON wants me in early to clean the bathroom tommorow morning...which means I gotta be sure I'm there to make sure Jack does it.
Vince: Alright, night.
Derek: Night.
*Vince walks out as Derek turns out the lights and goes back to bed*
*Monday morning, everyone is enjoying some baked sweets before they have to get ready to open the bakery. Ray walks in and Derek greets him.*
Derek: Raymundo! How did the date go?
Ray: It went ok. Actually, it went terribly. SOLOMON got us evicted from the restaurant after he destroyed an entire table when he bodyslammed himself on it to stop me and Ladonica from kissing.
Derek: Wow. That's awful. Sorry about that.
Ray: Nah, it's okay. Bob Saget came and lectured us afterwards and SOLOMON agreed to let us go off on our own. We were going to go ice skating, but we decided we were really tired and went home. But we're going out again on Thursday.
Derek: Wow! Congratulations man.
*Ladonica and SOLOMON enter the bakery, arguing*
Ladonica: Daddy, you're crazy. There is SO much proof that Good Times is a spin-off of Maude...
SOLOMON: SHUT UP, LADONICA-LOL. I'm going into my office to watch some more Good Times to prove to you that it is NOT a spin-off of Maude-LOL.
*Ladonica notices Ray*
Ladonica: Hey, Ray. *winks* Are we on for Thursday?
Ray: Of course! I was thinking...
*Suzie runs over to Ladonica*
Suzie: Ladonica, Jack just made a joke about black people.
Ladonica: WHAT? WHY I OUGHTA...
*Ladonica runs off to find Jack, then stops and turns around to wink and wave at Ray. She then continues to run off into the kitchen with a spatula. Ray looks out the window and smiles as Jack is heard begging for mercy and crying in the backround.*