Frank Gannucci
12-08-2007, 07:01 AM
"Dinner Guest":
Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."
Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."
"Boys & Girls Together":
Alice: "Well Ralph, I am ready to sit down."
Ralph: "So?"
Alice: "Well, who's going to help me with my chair?"
Ralph: "There's only two of us in the room so unless you have a torn ligament or something, you'll do it."
"Dial J For Janitor":
(Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)
Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A
HEADACHE."
Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH."
Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT."
"Unconventional Behavior":
(Ed & Ralph are handcuffed on a train. Ed tried syaing "Boomph" to get out, like he was instructed but it doesn't work.)
Ralph: "I have had enough of the boomphing. Get the key out and open them up."
Ed: "There ain't no key. You got to boomph your way out."
Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO BOOMPH YOU OUT OF THE WHOLE CAR."
"Man In The Blue Suit":
(Ed is ripping up his jacket just so he would look like a bum to get his suit back from the Help The Needy Society.)
Ralph: "I paid $8 for this jacket."
Ed: "Would you stop being so penny wise and half a pound foolish? You need to get the $73 from that jacket's pocket. $8 from $73 is, uh...You got a lot left over."
"Ralph Kramden Inc.":
Alice: "I burned my figner on that darned stove."
Ralph: "If you are not burning yourself, it's my food."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Ed: "Have I seen you once?"
Jean Kean (as herself): "I don't believe so."
Ed: "Did you ever work in the sewer?"
"Six Months To Live":
Ralph: "That does it Norton. In six months, I will be dead."
Ed: "Don't get so upset. Doctos can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave him six months to live. Boy, did he make a monkey out of that doctor."
Ralph: "What happened?"
Ed: "He lived for almost eight months."
"Follow The Boys":
(Alice wants to go to the movies but Ralph doesn't want him to go. He has to go bowling for the Hurricanes.)
Ralph: "The hurricanes need me."
Alice: "I feel very sorry for the Hurricanes because the biggest wind of them all is not going to be there."
Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."
Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."
Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."
Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."
"Boys & Girls Together":
Alice: "Well Ralph, I am ready to sit down."
Ralph: "So?"
Alice: "Well, who's going to help me with my chair?"
Ralph: "There's only two of us in the room so unless you have a torn ligament or something, you'll do it."
"Dial J For Janitor":
(Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)
Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A
HEADACHE."
Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH."
Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT."
"Unconventional Behavior":
(Ed & Ralph are handcuffed on a train. Ed tried syaing "Boomph" to get out, like he was instructed but it doesn't work.)
Ralph: "I have had enough of the boomphing. Get the key out and open them up."
Ed: "There ain't no key. You got to boomph your way out."
Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO BOOMPH YOU OUT OF THE WHOLE CAR."
"Man In The Blue Suit":
(Ed is ripping up his jacket just so he would look like a bum to get his suit back from the Help The Needy Society.)
Ralph: "I paid $8 for this jacket."
Ed: "Would you stop being so penny wise and half a pound foolish? You need to get the $73 from that jacket's pocket. $8 from $73 is, uh...You got a lot left over."
"Ralph Kramden Inc.":
Alice: "I burned my figner on that darned stove."
Ralph: "If you are not burning yourself, it's my food."
"Ralph Kramden Presents":
Ed: "Have I seen you once?"
Jean Kean (as herself): "I don't believe so."
Ed: "Did you ever work in the sewer?"
"Six Months To Live":
Ralph: "That does it Norton. In six months, I will be dead."
Ed: "Don't get so upset. Doctos can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave him six months to live. Boy, did he make a monkey out of that doctor."
Ralph: "What happened?"
Ed: "He lived for almost eight months."
"Follow The Boys":
(Alice wants to go to the movies but Ralph doesn't want him to go. He has to go bowling for the Hurricanes.)
Ralph: "The hurricanes need me."
Alice: "I feel very sorry for the Hurricanes because the biggest wind of them all is not going to be there."