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Frank Gannucci
11-24-2007, 10:12 PM
"The Deciding Vote":

(Ralph turns on the vaccum cleaner. It doesn't work.)

Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop or erl."

Ralph: "Yeah, that is all that it needs. A drop of oil."

Alice: "A drop of oil? It wouldn't help if you dipped it in Texas."

"Love Letter":

Ralph: "What was she (Trixie) holding behind her back?"

Alice: "Ralph, really it was nothing."

Ralph: "Alice, you don't hold nothing behind your back. You show it out in front so everybody can see it. Now, what was she holding behind her back."

Alice: "All right. She was hiding your birthday present."

Ralph: "Why did you tell me for? You know I like surprises."

"Boys & Girls Together":

Ralph: "Even the Constitution says that a man is entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Ed: "But the marriage license is an amendment to the Constitution."

"Unconventional Behavior":

Ed: "Remember last year at the Convention when the police were cracking down on the people who were throwing water bags out of the hotel window? That didn't bother me. I just filled up my bags with water and threw them out."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "I almost drowned. The window was closed."

"The Cold":

(Alice is taking the plaster off of Ralph's back.)

Alice: "I suppose you can't take off the top of your pajamas?"

Ralph: "You want to turn the cold into amoania (sp?)."

"Two For The Money":

Ralph: "Good thing that I have a brain to figure these things out for us."

Ed: "You sure do Ralph. You can think of smart things to get yourself out of the dumb things that you get yourself into."

"Pal O' Mine":

Trixie: "Ed wanted to get Jim McKeever red suspenders, but I thought a ring would be better."

Ed: "All I konw is Jim has a weakness for red suspenders."

Alice: "She's right Ed. A man would rather have a ring then suspenders."

Ed: "Not if his pants keep falling down."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ed looks at the toaster.)

Ed: "The radiostat conductor is not making proper contact with the electrocoil."

Alice: "What does that mean?"

Ed: "There's a screw loose."