Frank Gannucci
11-22-2007, 11:49 AM
"Mama Loves Mambo":
(Ralph gives his poor excuse of a breakfast to Alice and Trixie.)
Trixie: "Ed, I don't want to taste this yet. You taste it."
Ed (looking at the food): "No, it's gentlemen to wait for the women to try it first. I may wait until tomorrow."
"The Worry Wart":
(Ed eats a turkey leg from the ice box. Ralph comes in and Ed sees him.)
(Ed hums the "Dragnet" theme.)
Ed: "Well I hope that when they do my life on Dragnet that they leave my name out to protect the innocent."
Ralph: "You put that turkey leg down or they'll be doing your life on medic."
"Brother-In-Law":
Ralph: "Maybe your sisters are better off than we are. But I got more
expenses. I got more expenses than all of their husbands put together."
Alice: "Sure, they don't go to the Fat Man's Shop to get suits."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
Carlos: "If your wives ask you guys to do something simple like open a door for her, why don't you do it?"
Ralph: "He wants to know why we don't do it. Why we don't it. Why we don't do it. Why we don't do it. Because it's too much trouble. That's why we don't do it."
All from "A Weighty Problem":
#1
(Ralph & his friends are at the Raccoon Lodge. His friends are sick becuase they ate too much food. Ralph has a piece of a drumstick in his hand. He goes over to the kitchen and knocks.)
Ralph: "You got any mashed potatoes and bread in there?"
(The cook opens the door.)
Cook: "What?"
Ralph: "I said do you have any mashed potatoes and bread?"
Cook: "We don't have anything else to throw away."
#2
(Ralph is eating a stick of celery with a fork and knife right by him.)
Alice: "Ralph, how do you like your supper?"
(A pause.)
Ralph (yells): "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THAT WAS MY SUPPER?"
(picking up the utensils, yells): "WHAT ARE THESE THINGS FOR, TO COMMIT SUICIDE WITH?"
#3
Freddie: "You only eat as much to help you stay alive Ralph."
Ed: "Even that will be too much."
All from "We Spy":
#1
Ed: "It was just recently Thanksgiving."
Russian: "Thanksgiving?"
Ralph: "Yeah, it's a new holiday in Moscow. It's to celebrate the landing of the Proletarians on vladivostok."
#2
(At the party, Ed and subsequently Ralph just revealed the "new" Russian Holiday of Thanksgiving. The Russian party thrower wants everyone to roast the goat in honor of Thanksgiving because that is what Ralph said is one of the traditions of Thanksgiving.)
Russian: "Holiday weekend."
Ralph (angerly to Ed) : "Holiday weekend."
Ed: "It's a good thing it is'nt New Year's Eve. Can you imagine all the finks on the road from Minsk to Finsk."
#3
(Ralph spots his Russian capturers as they try to go on a train with a lot of luggage.)
Ralph: "What are you guys doing?"
Russian: "We are going to Moscow to celebrate new Russian holiday: Thanksgiving."
Happy Thanksgiving!
(Ralph gives his poor excuse of a breakfast to Alice and Trixie.)
Trixie: "Ed, I don't want to taste this yet. You taste it."
Ed (looking at the food): "No, it's gentlemen to wait for the women to try it first. I may wait until tomorrow."
"The Worry Wart":
(Ed eats a turkey leg from the ice box. Ralph comes in and Ed sees him.)
(Ed hums the "Dragnet" theme.)
Ed: "Well I hope that when they do my life on Dragnet that they leave my name out to protect the innocent."
Ralph: "You put that turkey leg down or they'll be doing your life on medic."
"Brother-In-Law":
Ralph: "Maybe your sisters are better off than we are. But I got more
expenses. I got more expenses than all of their husbands put together."
Alice: "Sure, they don't go to the Fat Man's Shop to get suits."
"Mama Loves Mambo":
Carlos: "If your wives ask you guys to do something simple like open a door for her, why don't you do it?"
Ralph: "He wants to know why we don't do it. Why we don't it. Why we don't do it. Why we don't do it. Because it's too much trouble. That's why we don't do it."
All from "A Weighty Problem":
#1
(Ralph & his friends are at the Raccoon Lodge. His friends are sick becuase they ate too much food. Ralph has a piece of a drumstick in his hand. He goes over to the kitchen and knocks.)
Ralph: "You got any mashed potatoes and bread in there?"
(The cook opens the door.)
Cook: "What?"
Ralph: "I said do you have any mashed potatoes and bread?"
Cook: "We don't have anything else to throw away."
#2
(Ralph is eating a stick of celery with a fork and knife right by him.)
Alice: "Ralph, how do you like your supper?"
(A pause.)
Ralph (yells): "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THAT WAS MY SUPPER?"
(picking up the utensils, yells): "WHAT ARE THESE THINGS FOR, TO COMMIT SUICIDE WITH?"
#3
Freddie: "You only eat as much to help you stay alive Ralph."
Ed: "Even that will be too much."
All from "We Spy":
#1
Ed: "It was just recently Thanksgiving."
Russian: "Thanksgiving?"
Ralph: "Yeah, it's a new holiday in Moscow. It's to celebrate the landing of the Proletarians on vladivostok."
#2
(At the party, Ed and subsequently Ralph just revealed the "new" Russian Holiday of Thanksgiving. The Russian party thrower wants everyone to roast the goat in honor of Thanksgiving because that is what Ralph said is one of the traditions of Thanksgiving.)
Russian: "Holiday weekend."
Ralph (angerly to Ed) : "Holiday weekend."
Ed: "It's a good thing it is'nt New Year's Eve. Can you imagine all the finks on the road from Minsk to Finsk."
#3
(Ralph spots his Russian capturers as they try to go on a train with a lot of luggage.)
Ralph: "What are you guys doing?"
Russian: "We are going to Moscow to celebrate new Russian holiday: Thanksgiving."
Happy Thanksgiving!