Frank Gannucci
11-08-2007, 01:50 PM
(Ralph Kramden is watching the Veterans Day Parade in NYC.)
(Ed joins him. Audience applauds.)
Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph?"
Ralph: "Oh, just watching the Veterans DAy Parade during my lunch hour. These war vets deserve our respect."
Ed: "I thought I would come up here too. I can hear the parade while working down in the sewer."
Ralph: "You see those young veterans? They just returned home for Iraq. They will probably be going back there in six weeks."
Ed: "You see that vet. He served in World War II. He's got to be 90 and he is still healthy for his age. You know what, I would have went to serve our country during the Gulf War if I wasn't so scared."
Ralph: "Me too."
Ed: "You would have failed the physical."
Ralph: "Oh, you are a riot Norton. Take a look at some of the older vets. Sadly, as time goes on, their accomplishments are likely to be forgotten. While at the same time, all of us will still fondly remember our troops that served in Vietnam, the two gulf wars and the afghan war will be remembered."
Ed: "What about the Cold War?"
Ralph: "You stupe. That wasn't a real war as far as firing goes. It was a phrase to describe the decades-long feud between the USA and Russia that ended in the early 90s."
Ed: "Oh. I am glad that that's over too. I so hope that that the current wars we are fighting are over soon. I want to see our troops come home."
Ralph: "Me too."
(They both sing a song about the troops that everyone around them engages in.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage.)
Jackie: "I just want to say 'Happy Veterans Day' to all of our war veterans."
(Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
(Crowd cheers.)
Now for my quotes:
"Teamwork Best The Clock":
Ralph: "I have been driving a bus for the Gotham Bus Company for 12 years."
Bud Collyer: "Well, they do say that travel broadens one."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Bud Collyer: "Have you lived in Brooklyn all your life?"
Ralph: "Not yet."
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "I have in here (lunchbox) something that is worth a million dollars."
Mr. Marshall: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus."
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "Did you see me when I weighed 165?"
Ed: "No Ralph, I never did see your baby pictures."
"The Babysitter":
Ralph: "How would you like it if someone came down to where you work abd hlped himself to whatever he can find?"
Ed: "Help himself to what?"
"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":
Ralph: "I got a toothache. Why do you think I have this thing (towel wrapped around his head) for?"
Ed: "I thought you were going to be a bunny rabbit on that TV show tomorrow."
"Operation: Protest":
Ralph: "Send Clifford to his papa."
Alice: "He can't see him."
Ralph: "Where is his dad hiding?"
Alice: "He is in the Navy. He is up on the North Pole counting seals."
Ralph: "He's hiding."
"Operation: Protest":
(Ralph wants to kill Clifford.)
Alice: "You are going to hate yourself in the morning."
Ralph: "True, but I will be happy tonight."
"Double Trouble":
Trixie: "There are two Ralph's."
Ed: "You mean that the weight Ralph lost formed into another person?"
(Ed joins him. Audience applauds.)
Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph?"
Ralph: "Oh, just watching the Veterans DAy Parade during my lunch hour. These war vets deserve our respect."
Ed: "I thought I would come up here too. I can hear the parade while working down in the sewer."
Ralph: "You see those young veterans? They just returned home for Iraq. They will probably be going back there in six weeks."
Ed: "You see that vet. He served in World War II. He's got to be 90 and he is still healthy for his age. You know what, I would have went to serve our country during the Gulf War if I wasn't so scared."
Ralph: "Me too."
Ed: "You would have failed the physical."
Ralph: "Oh, you are a riot Norton. Take a look at some of the older vets. Sadly, as time goes on, their accomplishments are likely to be forgotten. While at the same time, all of us will still fondly remember our troops that served in Vietnam, the two gulf wars and the afghan war will be remembered."
Ed: "What about the Cold War?"
Ralph: "You stupe. That wasn't a real war as far as firing goes. It was a phrase to describe the decades-long feud between the USA and Russia that ended in the early 90s."
Ed: "Oh. I am glad that that's over too. I so hope that that the current wars we are fighting are over soon. I want to see our troops come home."
Ralph: "Me too."
(They both sing a song about the troops that everyone around them engages in.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage.)
Jackie: "I just want to say 'Happy Veterans Day' to all of our war veterans."
(Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST! GOOD NIGHT!"
(Crowd cheers.)
Now for my quotes:
"Teamwork Best The Clock":
Ralph: "I have been driving a bus for the Gotham Bus Company for 12 years."
Bud Collyer: "Well, they do say that travel broadens one."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Bud Collyer: "Have you lived in Brooklyn all your life?"
Ralph: "Not yet."
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "I have in here (lunchbox) something that is worth a million dollars."
Mr. Marshall: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus."
"A Dog's Life":
Ralph: "Did you see me when I weighed 165?"
Ed: "No Ralph, I never did see your baby pictures."
"The Babysitter":
Ralph: "How would you like it if someone came down to where you work abd hlped himself to whatever he can find?"
Ed: "Help himself to what?"
"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":
Ralph: "I got a toothache. Why do you think I have this thing (towel wrapped around his head) for?"
Ed: "I thought you were going to be a bunny rabbit on that TV show tomorrow."
"Operation: Protest":
Ralph: "Send Clifford to his papa."
Alice: "He can't see him."
Ralph: "Where is his dad hiding?"
Alice: "He is in the Navy. He is up on the North Pole counting seals."
Ralph: "He's hiding."
"Operation: Protest":
(Ralph wants to kill Clifford.)
Alice: "You are going to hate yourself in the morning."
Ralph: "True, but I will be happy tonight."
"Double Trouble":
Trixie: "There are two Ralph's."
Ed: "You mean that the weight Ralph lost formed into another person?"