Frank Gannucci
11-07-2007, 08:46 AM
"Jellybeans":
Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."
Alice: "Yeah, and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."
"Life upon the Wicked Stage":
(Alice is dressed up as a hula girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.)
Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?"
Alice: "That's Trixie."
Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?"
"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":
(Ralph gets introduced to Happy the puupy dog who is big and around Ralph, he gets vicious.)
Alice: "That's Happy."
Ralph: "He doesn't look happy to me."
"Quiz Show":
Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous, that I couldn't answer the first question."
Ralph: "What question was that?"
Ed: "My name."
"Head of The House":
Ed: "In my household, I am the boss of the household."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmm."
Ed: "I think that any man that is afraid of his wife, isn't a man."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmmm."
Ed: "And I can't stree this too strongly that a husband is the boss."
Interviewer: "Yes?"
Ed: "Now don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she will kill me."
"Head of The House":
Ralph: "Men are responsible for the shape the world is in."
Alice: "Well, I am glad to hear one of you finally admit it."
"Ralph's Diet":
Ralph: "I don't need to diet anymore. I lost a pound."
Alice: "Ralph, when you lose a pound, it's like Bayoone losing a mosquito."
"$99,000 Answer":
Herb Norris: "What do you do for a living?"
Ralph: "I brive a dus."
Herb: "You brive a dus?"
Ralph: "A dus I brive."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(The makeup lady put lipstick on Ralph's lips.)
Makeup Lady: "Go like this."
(She makes kissing noises with her lips. So does Ralph.)
Ed: "Don't just sit there Ralph. Kiss me."
Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."
Alice: "Yeah, and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."
"Life upon the Wicked Stage":
(Alice is dressed up as a hula girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.)
Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?"
Alice: "That's Trixie."
Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?"
"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":
(Ralph gets introduced to Happy the puupy dog who is big and around Ralph, he gets vicious.)
Alice: "That's Happy."
Ralph: "He doesn't look happy to me."
"Quiz Show":
Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous, that I couldn't answer the first question."
Ralph: "What question was that?"
Ed: "My name."
"Head of The House":
Ed: "In my household, I am the boss of the household."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmm."
Ed: "I think that any man that is afraid of his wife, isn't a man."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmmm."
Ed: "And I can't stree this too strongly that a husband is the boss."
Interviewer: "Yes?"
Ed: "Now don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she will kill me."
"Head of The House":
Ralph: "Men are responsible for the shape the world is in."
Alice: "Well, I am glad to hear one of you finally admit it."
"Ralph's Diet":
Ralph: "I don't need to diet anymore. I lost a pound."
Alice: "Ralph, when you lose a pound, it's like Bayoone losing a mosquito."
"$99,000 Answer":
Herb Norris: "What do you do for a living?"
Ralph: "I brive a dus."
Herb: "You brive a dus?"
Ralph: "A dus I brive."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(The makeup lady put lipstick on Ralph's lips.)
Makeup Lady: "Go like this."
(She makes kissing noises with her lips. So does Ralph.)
Ed: "Don't just sit there Ralph. Kiss me."