Frank Gannucci
10-28-2007, 10:23 PM
"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 2":
(Ralph and another guy are playing pool. The guy hits the cue ball and it misses the pool balls.)
Man: "It's on it's way."
Ralph: "Yeah, to Newark."
"Finders Keepers":
Ralph: "I have flipped huh? Well, for your information Norton is my partner."
Alice: "Well, if you flip, it's always nice to have company."
"Man In The Blue Suit":
Ralph: "You know it was pretty lonely here without you Alice."
Trixie: "Oh Ed, why can't you talk to me like that?"
Ed: "I would be happy too if you only go away every once and a while."
"On Stage":
Ralph: "Are you sure you can type faster than me?"
Ed: "With boxing gloves on."
"On Stage":
Ed: "While I was in the Navy, I studied typing under the G.I. Bill and I happened to be the best in the class."
Ralph: "Then why didn't you get a job in an office instead of one in the sewer?"
Ed: "I couldn't stand the thought ouf being cooped up in a stuffy office all day."
"You're In The Picture":
(The Kramdens & Nortons are in Spain. Alice wants to buy something.)
Ralph: "What do you think I am, made of posadas?"
Alice: "I said posadas. Not potatoes."
"The Safety Award":
Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job, trained in the same fashion as each other, and there's always one man in the group that stands out far in front of the others."
Ed: "If you stood out any more in front you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus!"
"Lawsuit" (Color version):
(Ralph, with a broken leg, walks on crutches into the kitchen.)
Ralph: "You know, it's time like this when I realize how selffish you are. You know the condition that I am in. You know that I can't do anything like get a pencil by myself."
Alice: "How did you walk out here?"
Ralph: "Don't change the subject."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Ralph: "Boy, if you were my size. If youw ere only my size..."
Alice: "If I was, I would be the fat lady in the circus."
Now on for my skit:
(The Kramdens are getting ready for the annual Raccoon Costume contest and dance. Alice is waiting in the kitchen.)
Ralph (from the bedroom): “Alice, I want you to see me in this costume. This will be a total knockout.”
Alice: “Well, I hope so.”
Ralph (yells): “GET READY! I AM COMING OUT!”
(Ralph comes out. He is wearing a loud doctor’s scrub that doesn’t even fit him.)
Ralph: “Can you see the faces on them down there when I walk in with this? Well, what do you think?”
Alice: “I think you are nuts. What are you supposed to be?”
Ralph: “What am I supposed to be? I am supposed to be ‘Dr. McDreamy’ from Grey’s Anatomy.”
Alice: “You? Dr. McDreamy? You look more like ‘Dr. McNightmarey’.”
Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot.”
(Later on. Alice comes out with her costume. She is dressed as Hannah Montana. Alice’s knees are showing.)
Ralph: “Your knees are showing.”
Alice: “A person who wears this costume has got to show their knees.”
Ralph: “Not when they are married to me.”
(Ed comes in dressed as a mummy. He taps Ralph on the shoulder. Ralph takes one look and gets scared.)
Ralph: “What is the matter with you Norton? What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?”
Ed: “What are you supposed to be?”
Ralph: “I am supposed to be ‘Dr. McDreamy’ from Grey’s Anatomy.”
Ed: “You look more like Dr. McDonalds.”
(McGarrity from the hallway laughs his head off.)
McGarrity (from the hallway, yells): “THAT IS SO TRUE KRAMDEN!”
Ralph: “Big mouth.”
(They all go to the dance. A dance that is packed with…8 people.)
Head Raccoon: “One of the judges for our contest is in fact a friend of mine from Hollywood. He stars as ‘Dr. McDreamy’ from Grey’s Anatomy. Please welcome Patrick Dempsey.”
(Patrick comes in and the audience applauds. The women scream.)
Ralph: “Hey Patrick. I am dressed as your character.”
Patrick: “Good for you.”
(They start the dance. At the end of the last dance before the judges, Ralph accidentally rips the seat of his costume thereby supposedly exposing his complete backside. He did this by dancing with Alice and dipping her.”
Ed: “Hey Ralph, looks like your plans for a happy evening just got ripped.”
(Ralph chases after Ed and at the same time holds his pants together so not to expose himself. Everyone chases after him.)
Patrick: “I didn’t think that that fat man could run. He looks like ‘Dr. McNightmarey.’”
(At the curtain call, Jackie steps out.)
Jackie: “How sweet it is!”
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: “Don’t worry audience. I had my boxers underneath that costume. I wasn’t going to expose myself by any means. Ha ha ha ha. First, time to introduce the guest. Mr. Patrick Dempsey.”
(Patrick comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand. The women scream. The audience applauds.)
Jackie: “Shelia MacRae.”
(Shelia comes out kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Jean Kean.)
(Jean comes out and kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Art Carney.”
(Art comes out shakes Gleason’s hand.)
Jackie: “Happy Halloween and good night everybody. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST!”
(Audience cheers.)
(Ralph and another guy are playing pool. The guy hits the cue ball and it misses the pool balls.)
Man: "It's on it's way."
Ralph: "Yeah, to Newark."
"Finders Keepers":
Ralph: "I have flipped huh? Well, for your information Norton is my partner."
Alice: "Well, if you flip, it's always nice to have company."
"Man In The Blue Suit":
Ralph: "You know it was pretty lonely here without you Alice."
Trixie: "Oh Ed, why can't you talk to me like that?"
Ed: "I would be happy too if you only go away every once and a while."
"On Stage":
Ralph: "Are you sure you can type faster than me?"
Ed: "With boxing gloves on."
"On Stage":
Ed: "While I was in the Navy, I studied typing under the G.I. Bill and I happened to be the best in the class."
Ralph: "Then why didn't you get a job in an office instead of one in the sewer?"
Ed: "I couldn't stand the thought ouf being cooped up in a stuffy office all day."
"You're In The Picture":
(The Kramdens & Nortons are in Spain. Alice wants to buy something.)
Ralph: "What do you think I am, made of posadas?"
Alice: "I said posadas. Not potatoes."
"The Safety Award":
Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job, trained in the same fashion as each other, and there's always one man in the group that stands out far in front of the others."
Ed: "If you stood out any more in front you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus!"
"Lawsuit" (Color version):
(Ralph, with a broken leg, walks on crutches into the kitchen.)
Ralph: "You know, it's time like this when I realize how selffish you are. You know the condition that I am in. You know that I can't do anything like get a pencil by myself."
Alice: "How did you walk out here?"
Ralph: "Don't change the subject."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Ralph: "Boy, if you were my size. If youw ere only my size..."
Alice: "If I was, I would be the fat lady in the circus."
Now on for my skit:
(The Kramdens are getting ready for the annual Raccoon Costume contest and dance. Alice is waiting in the kitchen.)
Ralph (from the bedroom): “Alice, I want you to see me in this costume. This will be a total knockout.”
Alice: “Well, I hope so.”
Ralph (yells): “GET READY! I AM COMING OUT!”
(Ralph comes out. He is wearing a loud doctor’s scrub that doesn’t even fit him.)
Ralph: “Can you see the faces on them down there when I walk in with this? Well, what do you think?”
Alice: “I think you are nuts. What are you supposed to be?”
Ralph: “What am I supposed to be? I am supposed to be ‘Dr. McDreamy’ from Grey’s Anatomy.”
Alice: “You? Dr. McDreamy? You look more like ‘Dr. McNightmarey’.”
Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot.”
(Later on. Alice comes out with her costume. She is dressed as Hannah Montana. Alice’s knees are showing.)
Ralph: “Your knees are showing.”
Alice: “A person who wears this costume has got to show their knees.”
Ralph: “Not when they are married to me.”
(Ed comes in dressed as a mummy. He taps Ralph on the shoulder. Ralph takes one look and gets scared.)
Ralph: “What is the matter with you Norton? What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?”
Ed: “What are you supposed to be?”
Ralph: “I am supposed to be ‘Dr. McDreamy’ from Grey’s Anatomy.”
Ed: “You look more like Dr. McDonalds.”
(McGarrity from the hallway laughs his head off.)
McGarrity (from the hallway, yells): “THAT IS SO TRUE KRAMDEN!”
Ralph: “Big mouth.”
(They all go to the dance. A dance that is packed with…8 people.)
Head Raccoon: “One of the judges for our contest is in fact a friend of mine from Hollywood. He stars as ‘Dr. McDreamy’ from Grey’s Anatomy. Please welcome Patrick Dempsey.”
(Patrick comes in and the audience applauds. The women scream.)
Ralph: “Hey Patrick. I am dressed as your character.”
Patrick: “Good for you.”
(They start the dance. At the end of the last dance before the judges, Ralph accidentally rips the seat of his costume thereby supposedly exposing his complete backside. He did this by dancing with Alice and dipping her.”
Ed: “Hey Ralph, looks like your plans for a happy evening just got ripped.”
(Ralph chases after Ed and at the same time holds his pants together so not to expose himself. Everyone chases after him.)
Patrick: “I didn’t think that that fat man could run. He looks like ‘Dr. McNightmarey.’”
(At the curtain call, Jackie steps out.)
Jackie: “How sweet it is!”
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: “Don’t worry audience. I had my boxers underneath that costume. I wasn’t going to expose myself by any means. Ha ha ha ha. First, time to introduce the guest. Mr. Patrick Dempsey.”
(Patrick comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand. The women scream. The audience applauds.)
Jackie: “Shelia MacRae.”
(Shelia comes out kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Jean Kean.)
(Jean comes out and kisses Gleason.)
Jackie: “Art Carney.”
(Art comes out shakes Gleason’s hand.)
Jackie: “Happy Halloween and good night everybody. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST!”
(Audience cheers.)