Frank Gannucci
10-26-2007, 07:51 AM
"Quiz Show":
Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous, that I couldn't answer the first question."
Ralph: "What question was that?"
Ed: "My name."
"The New Manager":
Ralph: "I know. We will take the Nortons on our honeymoon."
Trixie: "Ralph, you don't want us on your honeymoon."
Ed: "Will you keep quiet woman?"
"Head of The House":
Ed: "In my household, I am the boss of the household."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmm."
Ed: "I think that any man that is afraid of his wife, isn't a man."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmmm."
Ed: "And I can't stree this too strongly that a husband is the boss."
Interviewer: "Yes?"
Ed: "Now don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she will kill me."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
(Ralph is planning on doing the most work when he and Alice go on Beat The Clock.)
Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders."
Alice: "You are carrying the load but it's not on your shoulders."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational."
Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?"
Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this
show."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A
PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Nephew of The Bride":
(Ralph tries to open the window to get Aunt Ethel's milk.)
Ethel: "Pull harder."
Ralph: "If I pull any harder, I will lift the building off the ground."
"The Sleepwalker":
Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."
Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."
"The Loudspeaker":
Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam! And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point."
Alice: "Well golly gee!"
Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous, that I couldn't answer the first question."
Ralph: "What question was that?"
Ed: "My name."
"The New Manager":
Ralph: "I know. We will take the Nortons on our honeymoon."
Trixie: "Ralph, you don't want us on your honeymoon."
Ed: "Will you keep quiet woman?"
"Head of The House":
Ed: "In my household, I am the boss of the household."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmm."
Ed: "I think that any man that is afraid of his wife, isn't a man."
Interviewer: "Mmm-hmmm."
Ed: "And I can't stree this too strongly that a husband is the boss."
Interviewer: "Yes?"
Ed: "Now don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she will kill me."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
(Ralph is planning on doing the most work when he and Alice go on Beat The Clock.)
Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole load on my shoulders."
Alice: "You are carrying the load but it's not on your shoulders."
"Teamwork Beats The Clock":
Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational."
Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?"
Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this
show."
"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":
Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A
PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."
Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."
Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."
(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)
Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"
"Nephew of The Bride":
(Ralph tries to open the window to get Aunt Ethel's milk.)
Ethel: "Pull harder."
Ralph: "If I pull any harder, I will lift the building off the ground."
"The Sleepwalker":
Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."
Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."
"The Loudspeaker":
Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam! And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point."
Alice: "Well golly gee!"