Frank Gannucci
06-17-2007, 09:11 PM
"Here Comes The Bride":
Alice: "Ralph, how could you talk like that. Agnes had plenty of chances. Stanley wasn't the only one who wanted her to get married.
There were plenty of others!!"
Ralph: "Sure there were others. I can think of three myself: her mother, the father & the caterer."
"Dial J For Janitor":
(Ralph is making a reference to him being caught between two pipes.)
Ralph: "It wasn't my fault Alice. It wasn't my fault."
Alice: "No, it wasn't your fault Ralph. It wasn't your fault at all. You were just doing your impression of two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag."
"Funny Money":
Alice's Mom: "By the way Sonny Boy, Father's back has been giving him a lot of trouble lately. A trip to Florida would do him good and the fare's only $100."
Ralph: "Ah ha! So that's what you came over for. $100. You got some case."
Alice's Mom: "Oh no! That has nothing to do with it and besides what's $100 to a man like you?"
Ed: "Why of course. Just a little while ago, he gave the repairman $100 to get the clicking out of the phone."
Ralph: "Well, I guess you're right. What's $100? Just a mere bag of shells." (taking the "money" out): "All right." (giving her the money): "Here you are. Send the old man down to Florida."
Alice's Mom: "You know, I hate to send Father alone. He really ought..."
Ralph: "Oh no. You got $100. Be glad you got that or I will take that back."
Alice's Mom: "Well, I guess when Father's away, I'll stay here with you and Alice."
Ralph: "Wait a minute. Here's the other $100."
"Quiz Show":
Ralph: "Your father would have been beautiful answering those questions."
Alice: "And just what makes you think he couldn't?"
Ralph: "All I know is that your mother has been asking him the same question for a long time and he hasn't been able to answer yet."
Alice: "What is that question?"
Ralph: "Why don't you get a job?"
"The Prowler":
(A prowler is in the building.)
Alice: "I don't want to stay in here awake all by myself."
Ralph: "Why don't you get your mother? She knows what it's like to have people coming into her house in the middle of the night. Ask your father."
"The Adoption":
Ralph: "I was named after my father. They used to call us 'Big' & 'Little' Ralph."
Ed: "Who was your father, 'Little' Ralph?"
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed is hypnotized. He sees Ralph.)
Ed: "Look out. There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby Dick."
Ralph: "If he wasn't under a spell, I would fracture his skull."
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
(Barney introduces his gang members to Ralph & Ed.)
Barney Hackett: "These are my boys."
Ralph: "Lovely family."
"Norton Moves In" (Color version):
(Ralph got out of bed to give Ed a cigarette. Ralph goes back to bed.)
Ralph: "Aren't you going to smoke that cigarette?"
Ed: "This isn't for now. It's for the first thing in the morning."
Alice: "Ralph, how could you talk like that. Agnes had plenty of chances. Stanley wasn't the only one who wanted her to get married.
There were plenty of others!!"
Ralph: "Sure there were others. I can think of three myself: her mother, the father & the caterer."
"Dial J For Janitor":
(Ralph is making a reference to him being caught between two pipes.)
Ralph: "It wasn't my fault Alice. It wasn't my fault."
Alice: "No, it wasn't your fault Ralph. It wasn't your fault at all. You were just doing your impression of two pounds of bologna in a one pound bag."
"Funny Money":
Alice's Mom: "By the way Sonny Boy, Father's back has been giving him a lot of trouble lately. A trip to Florida would do him good and the fare's only $100."
Ralph: "Ah ha! So that's what you came over for. $100. You got some case."
Alice's Mom: "Oh no! That has nothing to do with it and besides what's $100 to a man like you?"
Ed: "Why of course. Just a little while ago, he gave the repairman $100 to get the clicking out of the phone."
Ralph: "Well, I guess you're right. What's $100? Just a mere bag of shells." (taking the "money" out): "All right." (giving her the money): "Here you are. Send the old man down to Florida."
Alice's Mom: "You know, I hate to send Father alone. He really ought..."
Ralph: "Oh no. You got $100. Be glad you got that or I will take that back."
Alice's Mom: "Well, I guess when Father's away, I'll stay here with you and Alice."
Ralph: "Wait a minute. Here's the other $100."
"Quiz Show":
Ralph: "Your father would have been beautiful answering those questions."
Alice: "And just what makes you think he couldn't?"
Ralph: "All I know is that your mother has been asking him the same question for a long time and he hasn't been able to answer yet."
Alice: "What is that question?"
Ralph: "Why don't you get a job?"
"The Prowler":
(A prowler is in the building.)
Alice: "I don't want to stay in here awake all by myself."
Ralph: "Why don't you get your mother? She knows what it's like to have people coming into her house in the middle of the night. Ask your father."
"The Adoption":
Ralph: "I was named after my father. They used to call us 'Big' & 'Little' Ralph."
Ed: "Who was your father, 'Little' Ralph?"
"Sleepy Time Gal":
(Ed is hypnotized. He sees Ralph.)
Ed: "Look out. There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby Dick."
Ralph: "If he wasn't under a spell, I would fracture his skull."
"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":
(Barney introduces his gang members to Ralph & Ed.)
Barney Hackett: "These are my boys."
Ralph: "Lovely family."
"Norton Moves In" (Color version):
(Ralph got out of bed to give Ed a cigarette. Ralph goes back to bed.)
Ralph: "Aren't you going to smoke that cigarette?"
Ed: "This isn't for now. It's for the first thing in the morning."