Frank Gannucci
06-13-2007, 08:39 AM
"Please Leave The Premises":
Alice: "You got fingers in your gloves. Fix the silverware."
Ralph: "How would you like some fingers in your nose?"
"The Safety Award":
Man: "How close are you to Ralph Kramden."
Ed: "I am as close as anybody can get to him."
"Something Fishy":
Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?"
Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber."
"The Main Event":
Ralph: "Alice, come on out. Dynamite is here."
(Alice slams the bedroom door.)
Ralph: "I guess that she is still asleep."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "When we get to Fred's Landing, I won't even introduce you to Fred."
Alice: "Oooooh, from this blow I may never recover."
"Game Called On Account of Marriage":
Ralph: "What could a guy want that is down in the sewer that he needs two bucks right away?"
Ed: "You see, today is pay day and the guys got a couple of dice in the sewer, well you might call it a floating crap game."
"Jellybeans":
Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."
Alice: "Yeah, and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Ed puts a beauty mark on Ralph's left cheek after the makeup put some makeup on Ralph's eyes and lipstick.)
Ralph: "What did you just do?"
Ed: "I put a beauty mark on your left cheek."
Ralph: "Why did you do that?"
Ed: "Without it, you look exactly like Barbara Streisand."
"Life upon the Wicked Stage":
(Alice is dressed up as a hula girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.)
Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?"
Alice: "That's Trixie."
Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?"
Alice: "You got fingers in your gloves. Fix the silverware."
Ralph: "How would you like some fingers in your nose?"
"The Safety Award":
Man: "How close are you to Ralph Kramden."
Ed: "I am as close as anybody can get to him."
"Something Fishy":
Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?"
Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber."
"The Main Event":
Ralph: "Alice, come on out. Dynamite is here."
(Alice slams the bedroom door.)
Ralph: "I guess that she is still asleep."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "When we get to Fred's Landing, I won't even introduce you to Fred."
Alice: "Oooooh, from this blow I may never recover."
"Game Called On Account of Marriage":
Ralph: "What could a guy want that is down in the sewer that he needs two bucks right away?"
Ed: "You see, today is pay day and the guys got a couple of dice in the sewer, well you might call it a floating crap game."
"Jellybeans":
Ralph: "When I win that $100, I am going to get myself some bowling shoes, a leather lumber jacket, and you are going to get a string of pearls."
Alice: "Yeah, and if you lose, I will have a string of jellybeans around my neck."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Ed puts a beauty mark on Ralph's left cheek after the makeup put some makeup on Ralph's eyes and lipstick.)
Ralph: "What did you just do?"
Ed: "I put a beauty mark on your left cheek."
Ralph: "Why did you do that?"
Ed: "Without it, you look exactly like Barbara Streisand."
"Life upon the Wicked Stage":
(Alice is dressed up as a hula girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.)
Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?"
Alice: "That's Trixie."
Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?"