Frank Gannucci
05-21-2007, 03:52 PM
"Dial J For Janitor":
Ed: "One time when I was in the Navy, I had a brain tumor so I wnet to see a doctor. After the doctor removed it, all the boys said to me: 'What did he remove, the tumor or the brain?'"
Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed."
"Something Fishy":
Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?"
Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber."
"Pal O' Mine":
Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CNETS A POUND?" (normally): "Will you stop throwning my money around? Is there any lard around here?"
Alice: "Yeah. About 300 pounds of it."
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ralph: "For my height, I am four pounds underweight. It sasy so in the chart."
Alice: "You must be looking at a chart for a hippo."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "When we get to Fred's Landing, I won't even let you meet Fred."
Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "Millions of people go to Fred's Landing."
Alice: "Millions, huh? Name one."
Ralph: "All right. Fred."
"Case of The Cuckoo Thief":
(Alice comes over and shows Ralph a Cuckoo Alarm Clock.)
Alice: "I was thinking about buying it for someone."
Ralph: "For who?"
Alice: "For, um…my brother."
Ralph: "If there is one thing that your family doesn't need, it's another cuckoo."
"Case of The Cuckoo Thief":
(Bruce, the store manager, comes in and says that Ed is the crook and that there is no evidence that Ralph took anything.)
Bruce: "I'm going to have to deal with you harshly."
Ed (starting to cry): "What are you going to do to me?"
Bruce: "I would like to rip the cuffs off your pants. I'm going to have you incarcerated."
Ed: "Good, as long as I'm not going to jail."
"Two For The Money":
Ralph: "Happy is the worst horse. I saw them take the bandages off the horse."
Ed: "Yeah, Happy had a bad headache."
Ed: "One time when I was in the Navy, I had a brain tumor so I wnet to see a doctor. After the doctor removed it, all the boys said to me: 'What did he remove, the tumor or the brain?'"
Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed."
"Something Fishy":
Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?"
Alice: "15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber."
"Pal O' Mine":
Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CNETS A POUND?" (normally): "Will you stop throwning my money around? Is there any lard around here?"
Alice: "Yeah. About 300 pounds of it."
"A Weighty Problem Part 1":
Ralph: "For my height, I am four pounds underweight. It sasy so in the chart."
Alice: "You must be looking at a chart for a hippo."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "When we get to Fred's Landing, I won't even let you meet Fred."
Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ralph: "Millions of people go to Fred's Landing."
Alice: "Millions, huh? Name one."
Ralph: "All right. Fred."
"Case of The Cuckoo Thief":
(Alice comes over and shows Ralph a Cuckoo Alarm Clock.)
Alice: "I was thinking about buying it for someone."
Ralph: "For who?"
Alice: "For, um…my brother."
Ralph: "If there is one thing that your family doesn't need, it's another cuckoo."
"Case of The Cuckoo Thief":
(Bruce, the store manager, comes in and says that Ed is the crook and that there is no evidence that Ralph took anything.)
Bruce: "I'm going to have to deal with you harshly."
Ed (starting to cry): "What are you going to do to me?"
Bruce: "I would like to rip the cuffs off your pants. I'm going to have you incarcerated."
Ed: "Good, as long as I'm not going to jail."
"Two For The Money":
Ralph: "Happy is the worst horse. I saw them take the bandages off the horse."
Ed: "Yeah, Happy had a bad headache."