Frank Gannucci
05-18-2007, 10:55 PM
(The Clevaland Cavaliers won the Eastern Conference Semifinals 4 games to 2 by beating the NJ Nets 88-72.)
"The New Manager":
Ed: "I went to a fortune teller and she said that I would marry a
brunette. The next day, I met Trixie."
Alice: "She is no brunette."
Ed: "She was then."
"The Worry Wart":
Alice: "Ralph, you are not the first person to be investigated by the
government."
Ed: "She's right. The jails are full of them."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Head of The House"):
Ralph: "I'm a horse. You are a mouse."
Ed: "Let me say this. I rather be a live mouse then a dead horse."
"Brother-In-Law":
Ralph: "You are a doer and I'm a thinker."
Ed: "You certainly are."
"Hot Dog Stand":
Ralph: "You know they have other branches of this bank."
Ed: "That's good for us."
Ralph: "How?"
Ed: "If we don't get the loan from this bank, we can borrow money from each of the other branches."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ed (looking at a map): "Here's New York City, that is where we started from. Then we go through the Lincoln Tunnel. This black dot here is Jersey City. This black dot here is Bayoone."
Ralph: "Well, Bayoone moving. That's an ant."
Ed: "Let's follow the ant. He looks like he knows where he is going."
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
(Ed accidentally left the iron on Ralph's jacket too long and the jacket got burnt.)
Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?"
Ed: "No, that's my idea of a burn."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Ed just said that he saw Mike Douglas down in the sewer to present an award.)
Alice: "Does Mike Douglas look as good as he does on TV?"
Ed: "I couldn't tell. He had a mask on."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Ralph: "Talk is cheap."
Alice: "It must be or you would have never opened your mouth."
Now on for my skit:
(Mike & The Mad Dog are talking about how the New Jersey Nets lost.)
Chirs "Mad Dog" Russo: "How about those Nets on Friday night? They stunk up the joint. Cleveland owned them."
Mike Francesca: "Yeah, LeBron James is having his best year."
Chris Russo: "Let's go to two people on line 1. It's a Mr. Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton from Brooklyn, NY. Hello guys."
Ed: "Hey 'Mad Dog', slap me five. Let me know you are alive. Where I work, me and my fellow sewerworkers love to hear your show especially when the tide comes in."
(Mike & Chirs have weird looks on their faces.)
Ed: "I just want to say that me and my buddy Ralph-ie boy over here were upset that the Nets lost. We couldn't believe it. My friend couldn't eat for two days but that may have been good for him."
Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!" (normally): "Hey guys, I was stunned at how the Nets blew their chances. They had a golden opportunity and they blew it."
Mike: "Mr. Kramden, Clevaland is a tough team. I thought that they would make it."
Ralph: "Was it because of LeBron because if that is the case, I think that is ridiculous. Cavs are overated. They aren't that good."
Chris: "Me and Mike don't agree on much, but we agree that Clevaland is one of the best teams out there."
Mike: "Yes. They had a great season and I predict that they will win the NBA title."
Ed: "My friend Ralph-ie boy said he could beat up LeBron but he walked away. My friend Ralph that is."
Ralph (yells): "OKAY NORTON! PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP! LET'S GO!"
Chris Russo: "And we haev to hang up on them. I tell ya, we just killed that last four minutes."
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage.)
Jackie: "How sweet it is! Folks, time to introduce the guest stars. First, Mike Francesca."
(Mike walks on stage and shakes Jack's hand as the audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Chirs Russo."
(Chris Russo walks on stage and shakes Jack's hand as the audience applauds.)
Jackie: "They do a show called Mike and The Mad Dog that is similcast up in New York on WFAN AM and is also shown on the Yes Network up there and nationally on Direct TV. Last, but not least, Art Carney."
(Art walks up and shakes Gleason's hand as the audience applauds.)
Jackie (yells): "GOOD NIGHT!"
"The New Manager":
Ed: "I went to a fortune teller and she said that I would marry a
brunette. The next day, I met Trixie."
Alice: "She is no brunette."
Ed: "She was then."
"The Worry Wart":
Alice: "Ralph, you are not the first person to be investigated by the
government."
Ed: "She's right. The jails are full of them."
"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Head of The House"):
Ralph: "I'm a horse. You are a mouse."
Ed: "Let me say this. I rather be a live mouse then a dead horse."
"Brother-In-Law":
Ralph: "You are a doer and I'm a thinker."
Ed: "You certainly are."
"Hot Dog Stand":
Ralph: "You know they have other branches of this bank."
Ed: "That's good for us."
Ralph: "How?"
Ed: "If we don't get the loan from this bank, we can borrow money from each of the other branches."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Ed (looking at a map): "Here's New York City, that is where we started from. Then we go through the Lincoln Tunnel. This black dot here is Jersey City. This black dot here is Bayoone."
Ralph: "Well, Bayoone moving. That's an ant."
Ed: "Let's follow the ant. He looks like he knows where he is going."
"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":
(Ed accidentally left the iron on Ralph's jacket too long and the jacket got burnt.)
Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?"
Ed: "No, that's my idea of a burn."
"The Honeymoon Is Over":
(Ed just said that he saw Mike Douglas down in the sewer to present an award.)
Alice: "Does Mike Douglas look as good as he does on TV?"
Ed: "I couldn't tell. He had a mask on."
"Movies Are Better Than Ever":
Ralph: "Talk is cheap."
Alice: "It must be or you would have never opened your mouth."
Now on for my skit:
(Mike & The Mad Dog are talking about how the New Jersey Nets lost.)
Chirs "Mad Dog" Russo: "How about those Nets on Friday night? They stunk up the joint. Cleveland owned them."
Mike Francesca: "Yeah, LeBron James is having his best year."
Chris Russo: "Let's go to two people on line 1. It's a Mr. Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton from Brooklyn, NY. Hello guys."
Ed: "Hey 'Mad Dog', slap me five. Let me know you are alive. Where I work, me and my fellow sewerworkers love to hear your show especially when the tide comes in."
(Mike & Chirs have weird looks on their faces.)
Ed: "I just want to say that me and my buddy Ralph-ie boy over here were upset that the Nets lost. We couldn't believe it. My friend couldn't eat for two days but that may have been good for him."
Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!" (normally): "Hey guys, I was stunned at how the Nets blew their chances. They had a golden opportunity and they blew it."
Mike: "Mr. Kramden, Clevaland is a tough team. I thought that they would make it."
Ralph: "Was it because of LeBron because if that is the case, I think that is ridiculous. Cavs are overated. They aren't that good."
Chris: "Me and Mike don't agree on much, but we agree that Clevaland is one of the best teams out there."
Mike: "Yes. They had a great season and I predict that they will win the NBA title."
Ed: "My friend Ralph-ie boy said he could beat up LeBron but he walked away. My friend Ralph that is."
Ralph (yells): "OKAY NORTON! PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP! LET'S GO!"
Chris Russo: "And we haev to hang up on them. I tell ya, we just killed that last four minutes."
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage.)
Jackie: "How sweet it is! Folks, time to introduce the guest stars. First, Mike Francesca."
(Mike walks on stage and shakes Jack's hand as the audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Chirs Russo."
(Chris Russo walks on stage and shakes Jack's hand as the audience applauds.)
Jackie: "They do a show called Mike and The Mad Dog that is similcast up in New York on WFAN AM and is also shown on the Yes Network up there and nationally on Direct TV. Last, but not least, Art Carney."
(Art walks up and shakes Gleason's hand as the audience applauds.)
Jackie (yells): "GOOD NIGHT!"