Yooch
10-25-2006, 12:32 AM
> >(My cousin sent me this a while back; I always get a laugh out of it)
> >
> > > In case you needed further proof that the human race
> > > is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
> > > label instructions on consumer goods;
> > >
> > > On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
> > > (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
> > >
> > > On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No
> > > purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
> > >
> > > On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
> > > soap." (And that would be how ...?)
> > >
> > > On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
> > > Defrost." (But its "just" a suggestion)
> > >
> > > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
> > > not turn upside down." (Too late!)
> > >
> > > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
> > > hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
> > >
> > > On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
> > > on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
> > >
> > > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a
> > > car or operate machinery after taking this
> > > medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
> > > construction accidents if we could just get those
> > > 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
> > >
> > > On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> > > (One would hope.)
> > >
> > > On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
> > > outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
> > >
> > > On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used
> > > for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
> > >
> > > On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
> > > (Talk about a news flash.)
> > >
> > > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> > > Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
> > > (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
> > >
> > > On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this
> > > garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame
> > > the company. I blame parents for this one.)
> > >
> > > On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
> > > with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of
> > > this happening somewhere? My God!)
> > >
> > > Now that you've had your laugh it's your turn to
> > > spread the Stupidity and send this to someone who
> > > needs a good laugh...in other words send it to
> > > everyone. We all need a good smile every once in a while
> > >
> >
> > > In case you needed further proof that the human race
> > > is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
> > > label instructions on consumer goods;
> > >
> > > On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
> > > (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
> > >
> > > On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No
> > > purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
> > >
> > > On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
> > > soap." (And that would be how ...?)
> > >
> > > On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
> > > Defrost." (But its "just" a suggestion)
> > >
> > > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
> > > not turn upside down." (Too late!)
> > >
> > > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
> > > hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
> > >
> > > On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
> > > on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
> > >
> > > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a
> > > car or operate machinery after taking this
> > > medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
> > > construction accidents if we could just get those
> > > 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
> > >
> > > On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> > > (One would hope.)
> > >
> > > On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
> > > outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
> > >
> > > On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used
> > > for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
> > >
> > > On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
> > > (Talk about a news flash.)
> > >
> > > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> > > Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
> > > (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
> > >
> > > On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this
> > > garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame
> > > the company. I blame parents for this one.)
> > >
> > > On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
> > > with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of
> > > this happening somewhere? My God!)
> > >
> > > Now that you've had your laugh it's your turn to
> > > spread the Stupidity and send this to someone who
> > > needs a good laugh...in other words send it to
> > > everyone. We all need a good smile every once in a while
> > >