Being in love with someone that you can't have??

[Brad Russ]

Have any of you ever had this problem?? It could be that they didn't want you cause they were married, had a boyfriend, or just because they only wanted to be friends, but regardless of what the situation was, it's a pain that sure hurts like hell!! It's happened to me a few times, and currently, I have very strong feelings for someone I can't have, and I'm having an extremely difficult time dealing with it. It's so difficult being friends with someone that you like alot, because everytime you're around them, all you want to do is hold them in your arms, but you just can't. In a way, it can feel like torture at times!! To those of you who have felt this pain, my question is, do you have any secrets to getting through it, and dealing with the pain of knowing you'll never get to be with that particular person?? I'm an extremely sensitive guy, so it's really difficult for me to get over someone when I have strong feelings for them, so any advice you may have for me, as far as getting through it, would be appreciated. Thanks!!

[TJL]

It's the story of my life.

;)

[Pitooey]

It's the story of my life.

;)

:rofl:

TJL.......... Just look at your avatar it looks like Alan Alda is saying that. :lol:

[KissMyGrits]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I was in love with someone for almost 6 months. I finally told him how I felt. The next words out of his mouth were "I just want to be friends!" I can't tell you how hurt and depressed I was. I spent countless hours crying over him. There were situations in his life that made it impossible for us to be more than that. I understood it. I hated it, but I still remained friends. Soon, the situation resolved itself. We were still friends and even went out on a few dates. However, it wasn't meant to be. I swore off dating forever. I was going to be single until the day I died. God had other plans for me though. I got a new job and a new boyfriend. One that was emotionally and physically available to me. Now, almost 11 years later I thank God that I opened my heart to someone else.

Just take it one day at a time. It never gets easier, but time does heal all wounds and broken hearts. Trust me, mine has healed and I feel better than ever....

[TJL]

:rofl:

TJL.......... Just look at your avatar it looks like Alan Alda is saying that. :lol:


Actually, I'm also a surgeon for a M*A*S*H unit. I never told you guys that?

;)

[Brian Damage]

It has happened to me a couple of times in my life. It does suck because you feel powerless. There was this one girl who was dating a good friend of mine. She was beautiful and we had so much in common. Everytime we hung out, my heart would skip a beat. The thing is, I couldn't do anything about it because it was my friend's girl.

I am now married to her with two kids. :D ;)

[Ireneparalegal]

I have this guy friend that I have known since high school (1981) and to this day, he has made it clear that if I gave him a chance, he would sweep me off my feet and "give me the world." When I got a divorce, he was ecstatic that I may give him a chance. The only problem is, I don't find him physically attractive. Mind you, he is not ugly or anything like that, it's just that physical connection that I feel is important along with other factors that make you like/love someone. I feel for him, yet, I couldn't imagine myself being with someone who I couldn't be committed to 200 percent. I think it's more my fault, because I kind of gave him hopes back in high school, but I realized he was meant to be a friend and nothing else. I feel bad for him. I feel like he is waiting and waiting and waiting. If I became single again, he would NOT be the one I would want for a boyfriend/husband.

I have had feelings for a guy who was abt 7 years younger than me. Although our feelings were mutual, I felt it was best to leave that relationship. It hurt so much to leave that relationship and it got worse when he found a girlfriend. And then, it got worse when he told me he felt hurt by what I did and needed companionship. I was really bothered by the fact that he had a girlfriend, but yet, I knew it was by my actions that we ended up the way we did.

Brad, very interesting thread!

[Karen*]

I've had a lot of crushes on guys that were already taken, if that counts. :lol:

[Shine]

Just like every other guy and girl, I have been in love with someone who I could never have. And yeah, it hurts like hell. It is like the Def Leppard song "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad". I really don't know of any secrets to stop the pain...just time. Time heals all wounds.

[Pitooey]

HONEY, this is the story of my life. I seriously think someone out there placed a jinx on my love life:( ; for the last year, I have been totally infatuated with this guy, whom is completely indifferent of me; and it kills me inside; this man has broken my heart so many times, that I cannot tell you how many times I have cried; his rejection was worse than my mom being ill (I know that sound callous and pathetic and it is); and I do not know why in the hell he does not find me attractive (because I am not ugly, a size 2, a great personality, intelligent and best of love I have a gorgeous heart); actually, typing this makes me cry (actually I am crying right now...*SIGH*); unrequired loves SUCKS the big one:( ; and I do not know why in the hell I find this person so desirable; he is all I think about, and this whole situation as been very very very very very painful!

How sad........ If it makes you feel any better I can guarantee you that you're worth more than that. Sometimes the person who you think is for you is not. You are worth more than that! Remember this......

[cmcb06]

Yes my Ex, even though he cheated on me a couple months ago and we broke up I still love him to death and we still hang out. We went on a hike yesterday together and I'd take him back in a minnute but he's in a relationship with the guy he had fooled around with and just wants to be "friends". Was hard for me because i still love him dearly hopefully soon i'll get over it.

[swedeace]

I've mainly felt like this through crushes, so far. And I just experienced some butterflies in my stomach today over this guy I am interested in. Just seeing a smiling photo of him makes me want to try and date him even MORE. And, I have never been in love.

He has two kids, but I have heard he is such a funny guy. I like that in people, in general. I am just lost for words in how to approach him. I am feeling crushy over him now....

[Ireneparalegal]

Do John Travolta, James Cavezial and Joaquin Phoenix count???????

[Lamont]

hmmm JESSICA SIMPSON....

[Shine]

I've mainly felt like this through crushes, so far. And I just experienced some butterflies in my stomach today over this guy I am interested in. Just seeing a smiling photo of him makes me want to try and date him even MORE. And, I have never been in love.

He has two kids, but I have heard he is such a funny guy. I like that in people, in general. I am just lost for words in how to approach him. I am feeling crushy over him now....


I develop a crush for every pretty girl that I see. :lol: Of course, 99.9% of them have no interest at all in me.

[theshark8777]

It's the story of my life.

;)

mine too :ladiesman

[Number 9 Dream]

Yes, definitely, and I'm experiencing it right now. It does hurt a lot, but I've realized that I might have to move on if I'm ever to have a healthy relationship with anyone else that may come along (or more importantly, myself!) It's just not good to dwell on it too much.

If the situation was ever to change and it wouldn't be long-distance (and other things would have to evolve too), then I'd be ecstatic. But, for now, I am not getting my hopes up.

It does hurt a lot.

[swedeace]

I develop a crush for every pretty girl that I see. :lol: Of course, 99.9% of them have no interest at all in me.
I know what you mean. It seems that I have gone through crush stages in the past and end up with NO luck in actually going out with these guys. Grrrr...frustrating. And I agree with you about others not returning an interest in you. I feel the same way. The guys I want to approach/have approached just don't reciprocate interest in me. I usually go out of my way in flirting with them and act like myself of emphasizing the good things about me. But...zip.... I just wish they would show interest in me for me.

[Ireneparalegal]

Have any of you ever had a long-distance romance? Love? relationship?

I have...those are the hardest to deal with. They can hurt just as much as any relationship.

[Yooch]

Was pretty much the story of my life, especially between the ages of about eight and nineteen, where the pain of it was extremely bad.

I've kind of outgrown it, now being married, but the sadness and memories of some of those unrequited crushes and/or being dumped by a person you were sure you wanted to spend your life with, and for whom 'there was no other' can be extremely painful and difficult to get over.

Someone said it, I don't know who, but I think it is true that

"We desire to be loved by the one whom we desire."

My wish is that it would come true for everyone. Yet, I know this is life, and we have to get by the best we can--and move on.

It is an interesting question.

[*MIBabe03*]

It has happened to me a couple of times in my life. It does suck because you feel powerless. There was this one girl who was dating a good friend of mine. She was beautiful and we had so much in common. Everytime we hung out, my heart would skip a beat. The thing is, I couldn't do anything about it because it was my friend's girl.

I am now married to her with two kids. :D ;)


That'll be a great story to tell your kids later on. "Your mom was with someone else and instead of breaking it off with that guy first, she cheated on him instead." Nice.

[Ireneparalegal]

That'll be a great story to tell your kids later on. "Your mom was with someone else and instead of breaking it off with that guy first, she cheated on him instead." Nice.
I notice you have a quote from Angelina Jolie as your siggy.

I wonder what her kids will hear abt her..."Your mom slept with a married man...he left his wife to be with her, but he didn't marry her, he knocked her up instead..." :rofl: "Oh and she married a man who was engaged to another lady..." :rofl:

[dawsongirl]

Have any of you ever had a long-distance romance? Love? relationship?

I have...those are the hardest to deal with. They can hurt just as much as any relationship.
*raises hand* I find it okay. I probably wouldn't if I hadn't grown up an only child who was used to being by herself all the time though. But as long as I have a communication portal open with him, I'm fine. No comp/phone, then I get depressed.

[*MIBabe03*]

I notice you have a quote from Angelina Jolie as your siggy.

I wonder what her kids will hear abt her..."Your mom slept with a married man...he left his wife to be with her, but he didn't marry her, he knocked her up instead..." :rofl: "Oh and she married a man who was engaged to another lady..." :rofl:


:lol: Yeah, she's got a lot of issuses. I only like her because of her charity work.

[Babes_Cat]

been there, haven't been able to have that.
sucks.

[Max Whittaker]

Thanks for the word of wisdom. I think my problem is, that I do have a big ego, and sometimes my pride gets in the way of common sense; also, another thing, I hate it, when I have people, ask why am I singe because I am "so beautiful, etc."; just because you are attractive, does not mean that you are able to land every person that catches your eye..I should know, I have learned the hard way, and it hurts like hell; usually, when I like someone and that person, does not like me, I just move on, but this guy, damn, I just cannot get him out of my system, and it driving me insane.:crazy:

I recently got over a rejection of my own. At the beginning of the year I fell head over heals over this girl I worked with. She was a flirt, and I misinterpreted it as genuine romantic interest. After doting on her like some lovesick idiot(which, of course I was ), she confronted me. She had a great deal of admiration for me, but no desire. It hurt. I didn't know I could be so affected by a single person's rejection! It got in the way of my job and personal life(never mix the two!).



Eventually, I arranged my schedule so that we never saw eachother. After pining for a couple months I finally forgot about her and moved on and learned to love my job again.

Three months ago, she transfered back to my area. It was awkward at first, on my part. She seemed fine, but I felt very strange around her, although I no longer wanted her. After a short time, I felt better, and we are now friendly. She's still a flirt, but it doesn't effect me, any longer.

My advice, if you can... allow some time for seperation between the two of you. If you can stay away from him for a couple months, do it. Just enough time for you to find yourself again. When you meet again, you should have a better perspective about everything.

Aw, young love... :wave:

[Kemistry]

Been there, done that..

You just have to move on, it's best for you and your sanity, lol!

[Max Whittaker]

Yeah, he was a flirt towards me as well, etc.; and that is what I am planning on doing, not seeing him for a while, actually, I do not plan to see him again till my birthday (which is in December) which I think gives me plenty of time. I have never asked if he was attracted to me or not (all of my friends said he was) but still..(sigh); there are a ton of questions that go through my head, like did I do or say, or act (in a certain way) and that is why, all of sudden he was dsitant? who knows; and the sad and (pathetic) thing, I should have known better, since I am not young (well young at heart) nor I am naive..I just totally fell for this guy; and yes, there was a chemistry between him and myself, but I was too shy to (go for it) and I think, at the end, he just lost interest; and another thing, the last few times I saw him I was with a male friend (which was stupid):rolleyes:

Sounds good to me.

Also, be careful with advice from friends regarding love. Although most mean well, some of the worst advice I got regarding this girl, was from friends. Only a few good friends, whom I now trust more because of this, gave me proper warning(which I obviously ignored until it was too late)

I found that despite how smart you are, when it comes to matters of the heart, logic has no place; You ignore good advice, blind yourself to reality and the flaws of the object of your infatuation, and it gets you every time.

I imagine that will be true no matter how old we get...

[Yooch]

Sounds good to me.

Also, be careful with advice from friends regarding love. Although most mean well, some of the worst advice I got regarding this girl, was from friends. Only a few good friends, whom I now trust more because of this, gave me proper warning(which I obviously ignored until it was too late)

I found that despite how smart you are, when it comes to matters of the heart, logic has no place; You ignore good advice, blind yourself to reality and the flaws of the object of your infatuation, and it gets you every time.

I imagine that will be true no matter how old we get...

So true!!!