13-year-old girl worried about getting boyfriend (letter in advice column)

[PZelda]

I was reading today's (Sunday, 9 July 2006) newspaper, and I opened up one of the newspaper to read the advice columns. Immediately, the Annie's Mailbox column headline caught my eye.

I think everybody should read it, ESPECIALLY YOUNG TEENAGERS. You know who you are.

Dear Annie: I'm a 13-year-old girl. My mother tells me I'm pretty, but I don't think so. I'm also a little overweight for my age, but nothing too bad.

I really would love to have a boyfriend. I know I'm ready for one, but I can never get one. Most of my friends think I have a great personality and say I'm really funny, but no guy wants to stick around long enough to find out.

I love to chat with guys on the Internet, since I can't get a boyfriend in the real world. I know it's wrong, but I want a boyfriend so bad.

I need help. —Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places


Here is Annie's response:

Dear Looking: It's normal for you to want a boyfriend, but it's not a good idea to find one on the Internet. We're sure you've heard all the horror stories. You sound smart enough to know how dangerous it can be, so please don't look there.

Not all 13-year-old boys can appreciate a girl with a great personality and a good sense of humor, but we don't want you to be discouraged, because eventually, it will happen. It is important in the meantime that you do not appear desperate or behave foolishly. Plenty of girls your age do not have boyfriends. This is the time to develop your mind, your attitude and your sense of self. If you do that, the rest will follow and the results will be better. We promise.

[Superstar]

Great advice, and it was a great idea to post this Allison. It'll be a big help to some people imo :)

[Czas na Zywiec]

Or one person in particular. Hopefully this thread doesn't spiral out of control like past ones have.

[Karen*]

Great piece of advice! Thank you for posting that, Allison. :)

[JT]

Great post, and great advice column. I doubt that the person that this thread is intended for will even realize that it's for them, though.

[-*Forever*-]

I am so glad you posted this, Allison.

[Hollow]

man i'm glad i've never gone through those kinds of typical teenage problems as long as i've been a teenager myself. i always understood that being in a relationship is about passion, not just a hobby or something to make you feel more "worthy." i've never given a damn about having a boyfriend unless i was interested in someone in particular, and i was sixteen when i first had one.

[Courtnee]

I never quite understood the people who did that. Just wanting a boyfriend just to have one, i mean. If your going to have a boyfriend, you might as well like them. But hell, what do i know about realtionships? My ex pretty much hates me.

[JT]

It's pathetic watching the "couples" at my school who have nothing in common whatsoever and barely talk to each other at all during lunch/recess or at games or anything. It's like...they are only together because they were both in desperate need of a significant other. It truly is pitiful.

[PZelda]

man i'm glad i've never gone through those kinds of typical teenage problems as long as i've been a teenager myself. i always understood that being in a relationship is about passion, not just a hobby or something to make you feel more "worthy." i've never given a damn about having a boyfriend unless i was interested in someone in particular, and i was sixteen when i first had one.

I had my first relationship @ 12 (I started young... *shrug*). My first boyfriend was pretty much amazing, and we had so much in common. It's actually kind of weird when I think about it now, we were both pretty mature for our ages. We never went further than kissing, though. But, I admit I was stupid, because I stupidly listened to my now-ex best friend (what an *******). She said there were all kinds of rumors going around regarding me and my boyfriend, so I broke up with him. Some days, I wish I had never done that. But other days, I'm thankful I did that because A). when we got to high school, he turned into a world-class *******, and B). it was a learning experience for me in the world of dating.

I've always had the same line of reasoning as you. This line of reasoning was the reason why I never dated while I was in high school, and I don't regret it one bit. I'm glad I never dated in high school, because I finally started to realize what a scummy town I was living in (I don't live there anymore, thank god) and just how scummy the boys were.

I waited til I finally moved back home to get back on the dating scene again, being just as picky as I was back in the town where I attended high school, and I've never had any problems. To me, it was definitely worth the wait.

Trust me...Dating just because you're desperate in high school is NOT worth it. Period. If anybody has a sense of self-worth, they would realize that. Fifteen is young. There will be SO MUCH more opportunities after high school and into the 20s to meet different types of people and see what you like in a relationship.

[Hollow]

I had my first relationship @ 12 (I started young... *shrug*). My first boyfriend was pretty much amazing, and we had so much in common. It's actually kind of weird when I think about it now, we were both pretty mature for our ages. We never went further than kissing, though. But, I admit I was stupid, because I stupidly listened to my now-ex best friend (what an *******). She said there were all kinds of rumors going around regarding me and my boyfriend, so I broke up with him. Some days, I wish I had never done that. But other days, I'm thankful I did that because A). when we got to high school, he turned into a world-class *******, and B). it was a learning experience for me in the world of dating.

I've always had the same line of reasoning as you. This line of reasoning was the reason why I never dated while I was in high school, and I don't regret it one bit. I'm glad I never dated in high school, because I finally started to realize what a scummy town I was living in (I don't live there anymore, thank god) and just how scummy the boys were.

I waited til I finally moved back home to get back on the dating scene again, being just as picky as I was back in the town where I attended high school, and I've never had any problems. To me, it was definitely worth the wait.

Trust me...Dating just because you're desperate in high school is NOT worth it. Period. If anybody has a sense of self-worth, they would realize that. Fifteen is young. There will be SO MUCH more opportunities after high school and into the 20s to meet different types of people and see what you like in a relationship.
exactly. when i entered ninth grade i started getting hit on asked out a lot, and it still persists to this day, but i turned down every guy that liked me, merely because i didn't like them back in that way, and that's what initially matters. my now-boyfriend is the only one i really felt bad about rejecting, because he was VERY sincere and mature about it, and cared a lot about me. he's probably one of the only guys who's ever wanted to date me for me and not my looks; i'm glad i found myself liking him months later and he still felt the same way. and still, no matter how much i liked him, i wouldn't have gone out with him at all if he did only want me for my looks.

[dawsongirl]

man i'm glad i've never gone through those kinds of typical teenage problems as long as i've been a teenager myself. i always understood that being in a relationship is about passion, not just a hobby or something to make you feel more "worthy." i've never given a damn about having a boyfriend unless i was interested in someone in particular, and i was sixteen when i first had one.
I always wanted a boyfriend, but I guess not bad enough to go to great lengths to get one. And as I go thru life now, and see how hard a relationship can be, I'm kinda glad I didn't.

[dawsongirl]

That's true. Some people do go to extremes if they want a boyfriend or girlfriend bad enough. There was a guy at the high school I went to who was so desperate for a girlfriend that he actually started stalking girls, or at least me, anyway. I wasn't interested in him in the least, but that didn't deter him. He hunted me down one morning and found out where I was. I was in a classroom. I started backing up as he started walking toward me. I had to stop though when I hit the chalkboard. I had to raise my voice and tell him to leave me alone. He finally did. It was embarrassing.
OMG...how awful.

[Hollow]

That's true. Some people do go to extremes if they want a boyfriend or girlfriend bad enough. There was a guy at the high school I went to who was so desperate for a girlfriend that he actually started stalking girls, or at least me, anyway. I wasn't interested in him in the least, but that didn't deter him. He hunted me down one morning and found out where I was. I was in a classroom. I started backing up as he started walking toward me. I had to stop though when I hit the chalkboard. I had to raise my voice and tell him to leave me alone. He finally did. It was embarrassing.
what a way to win a girl's heart.

[G-Force Glockstar]

I doubt that the person that this thread is intended for will even realize that it's for them, though.

:rolleyes:

[cmcb06]

SHe's only 13, she has plenty of time to get bfs, and find a relationship.

[theshark8777]

not to rebump this or anything, but wasnt this locked yesterday?!

[Karen*]

not to rebump this or anything, but wasnt this locked yesterday?!

LMAO, you're right. The heck?

[Chocoholic]

Personally, I think 13, 12, and 11 years-old and younger is too young for a boyfriend/girlfriend. Whatever happened to letting kids be kids? Even grade school kids have crushes and significant others now. :eek: