10 Things You Should Never Say During Your Interview

[swedeace]

10 Things You Should Never Say During a Job Interview!

Looking for a new job? Unfortunately, you'll probably have to interview for the position. Here are a few things to avoid in that stressful moment.

(NOTE: Don't be stupid enough to actually try any of the items below, or you'll find yourself in jail, in the hospital, or, even worse, in the unemployment line!)

1.Oh, my criminal record? Well...if it helps, I didn't pull the trigger.

2.If it involves sitting around doing nothing, I'm your man!

3.Are you busy later? I know a great little Italian place.

4.Wait, you wanted someone with at least a high school diploma? Nevermind.

5.References? That may be a problem due to those stupid restraining orders.

6.Aren't you Rachel's dad? Man, she's one wild and crazy chica!

7.Do you mind if I light up?

8.Where do I see myself a year from now? Sitting in your chair, actually.

9.Sorry if I'm not up to par this morning...I still have a nasty hangover.

10.Before we start the interview, can I get an advance on my pay? My bookie's an impatient man.
---
:rofl: :lol:

[Polniaczek033]

:rofl:

[phoebe7165]

:brent

That reminds of a commercial I saw(I forgot what it was for) where the guy was being interviewed and he kept saying things like, "I know I'm your man, Mr. Dumba$$", and "I know I can do a good job, Mr. Dumba$$" and then you see the nameplate of the guy interviewing him, and the guy says "My name is Mr. Dumas".

;)

[Shine]

:rofl:

[Jo_Luvs_Ketchup]

:lol:

And the best! "Are there going to be any random drug tests? If so I need 3 days notice!" :D

[Sharop]

Oh, these are things you shouldn't say?

Well, now I know why all those people turned me down...

[Shine]

Oh, these are things you shouldn't say?

Well, now I know why all those people turned me down...


:lol:

[ABlairican Pie]

I'm sure just about all of these have been used in one way or another in real life! :lol:

[I Love Carol Burnett!]

HAHAHAHAHA

Sooo that explains why I didnt get that last job!!! DAMN THOSE HANGOVERS!!! :lol:

[Sharop]

Sooo that explains why I didnt get that last job!!! DAMN THOSE HANGOVERS!!! :lol:

Don't feel bad, I Love Carol...at least you turned up for the interview.

Now, someone like Norm Peterson would have spent his job interview sitting in Cheers with Cliff, with his ever-present mug of beer and an ever-rising bar tab.

[I Love Carol Burnett!]

Don't feel bad, I Love Carol...at least you turned up for the interview.

Now, someone like Norm Peterson would have spent his job interview sitting in Cheers with Cliff, with his ever-present mug of beer and an ever-rising bar tab.
Haha Poor Norm!!

[Sharop]

Haha Poor Norm!!

Yeah... :)

Well, I guess he was happy.

[Courtnee]

:lol: cute

[EmoJoe]

:lol:

[Cactus Jack]

.LOL

[dlemond]

"Do you think Good Times is a spinoff?

Seriously. This is important if I will work for you."

10 seconds later...

"No, really, there's no need to call security!"

[Janice]

"Do you think Good Times is a spinoff?

Seriously. This is important if I will work for you."

10 seconds later...

"No, really, there's no need to call security!"
:lol: :lol:

[robyrob]

"are those real?"

"does this look infected?"

"do you keep any valuables in your desk?"

"would you like to read some pamphlets on Scientology?"

"do they have regular drug testing here?"

"so what do you think about dolphin porn?"

"say, those are some UGLY-ASS kids on that picture on your desk"

[Sharop]

"Oh, just so you know, I can only work two days a week, but I'd like to get paid for the full five days, if that's all right with you."

"If you hear any rumours about me, don't believe them. They're nasty, vicious lies! I mean it! I would never do any of that stuff they accuse me of doing. Everyone's out to get me..."

"I know I look remarkably similar to that kid who murdered his parents, but I'm not him. Really." (sees policeman) "Oh, there a cop. Gotta hide." (ducks.)

[vienna waits]

Don't accuse them of not being an equal opportunity employer... that didn't get me very far.