Family Ties Forever!
05-12-2006, 02:07 AM
In an e-mail: :lol:
1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-square-foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh-oh,” it’s already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A 6-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can do it only in the movies.
10. Certain legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old boy.
11. “Play-Doh” and “microwave” should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put into a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. .
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. Always look into the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
19. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
20. Eighty percent of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys, do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-square-foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh-oh,” it’s already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A 6-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can do it only in the movies.
10. Certain legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old boy.
11. “Play-Doh” and “microwave” should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put into a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. .
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. Always look into the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
19. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
20. Eighty percent of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys, do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.