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tv star collector
03-30-2006, 08:32 AM
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St.
Patrick's Day parade--at any time of the year.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control
tower to talk you down.

Dinosaurs only eat ugly or immoral people.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition--even
if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle or war--unless you make the mistake
of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

All beautiful women being chased by monsters wear high heels and fall at
least once while fleeing.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before
long.

A slight blow to the head is usually enough to cause amnesia.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince
when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting
damage to an eight-year-old child.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises
in their most revealing underwear.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The person you trust most at work is probably the one who is trying to kill you.

During a murder investigation lasting several weeks, it will not be necessary
for detectives to go home at any time to eat, sleep, shave or change their
clothes.

Guns are like disposable razors--if you run out of bullets just throw the gun
away. You can always buy a new one.

(Anonymous)

lockdown06
04-02-2006, 02:59 PM
what a MILF is.

tdf4077
04-02-2006, 09:29 PM
This is hysterical! And don't forget that if you're trying to run away from someone/something in a horror movie, you must contantly look over your shoulder and go upstairs at all costs!

Without movies (specifically Trainspotting) I wouldn't know anything about drugs!

savageamusement
04-11-2006, 10:28 AM
No car will start when someone is trying to kill you

If a woman tries to clean a bullet wound and I curse in pain, she will fall in love with you

Nothing good ever happens in a hedge maze

In any type of sport movie, a player on the field can look up into a crowd of 1 billion and immediately spot their loved one.

Movie timing is always exact. If a phone trace will take two minutes, for example, you can be sure that that means 120 seconds, not a fraction more or less. Same for bombs, amount of time to get to a destination, etc. Corollary to the above: all characters in a movie have their watches perfectly synchronized.

If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just run a bath (even in the middle of the day) and then look in the bathroom mirror. There he is.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon, and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

And most importantly

When in love, burst into song.

dlemond
04-11-2006, 11:27 AM
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=80828

Janice
04-11-2006, 12:50 PM
When a character coughs, the next scene will be their funeral, and it will be raining. All those mourners standing around the grave holding umbrellas is particulary moving.

People always eat Chinese food using chopsticks, and usually out of the take-out containers.

When characters are suddenly thrown together in scenes, they will fall in love. This is particulary true in soap operas.

Guns never run out of bullets.

When someone is shooting at a person, they'll hit everything around the person, but not the person....even if they're using a machine gun.

Retired cops always have to be talked out of retirement, and usually have a drinking problem...and an ex-wife and custody battle going on.

savageamusement
04-12-2006, 11:43 AM
Good call Janice....so obvious and I missed them



I have 3 more


1-When a lady runs out fo a household product and has to go out at night-
Trouble.

2-No girl should ever babysit.
Ever.

3-Every teen knows how to hack into ANY system anywhere-
And they will inevitable uncover a secret that no adult can be trusted with

Cactus Jack
05-14-2007, 01:34 AM
Whenever a charater on a movie ( or show) does something really great, or something like that, and someone asks them if theyre good at whatever or thought of whatever, that character is usually seen againdoing something really stupid

Zoneboy
05-14-2007, 01:59 AM
In horror movies, If a woman is being chased, She runs like hell yet the one doing the chasing is in no hurry and almost always manages to catch up with the intended victim.

Ohio8
05-14-2007, 07:01 PM
The "landing a plane" can also be filed under "TV cliches busted!", aka "Sitom Staples"