Fave Quote

[Brett Ferino]

What is it and why?

[joblairtootnatmrs.g]

there is way to many to tell

[That Other Fan]

Karen: (after Jack tells his mom he's gay) "Honey I think you missing the silver lining here...when you old and in diapers a gay son will know how to keep you away from chiffon and backlighting."


----------------------


Karen: (Trying to convince a "blind" Jack that his latest "conquest" is now "straight") "Honey your new guy has turned his back on homosexuals....and not in the good way."

------------------

Jack: "Their are no straight men. Only men that haven't met Jack."


--------------------


Grace: "It's just not how I imagined ever beening propsed to. Ok? I'm supposed to be holding a bouquet of wildflowers,not my own ankles!"


------------------------------

Grace: ( Reading Jack's apron)" Kiss The Cook."

Jack: "What? Cook? That's an "O"? That doesn't make any sense. Who goes on a date hoping someone to kiss their cook."

--------------------------


Karen: (Knocking at Will and Grace's door) "Honey hurry up! I'm in a bad neighborhood, and I just used the last of my pepper spray on a pushy Jehovah's Witness!"




[This message has been edited by That Other Fan (edited 11-19-2001).]

[nentando]

Jack: Guys dont make passes at guys with fat asses.

[springb]

"Honey, did you REALLY think you could get into heaven wearing body glitter? Well, you can't..."

Karen in Jack's play

[springb]

"Honey, did you REALLY think you could get into heaven wearing body glitter? Well, you can't..."

Karen in Jack's play

[Chekapo]

Every single time Karen says Honey...

[springb]

Karen- "I love my big gay horse!"

[moofomoo]

Including... "oh honey...no..." and just about everything she says that counts as a "Karen-ism"

**Gracie moo**

[Jordan]

It was in the episode where Cher (who I love!) guest starred. Jack meets her at a restaurant and thinks that she is a drag queen. "Hey, you're not that great, Mister Sister!" he says to her. I loved it! :happyface :happyface :happyface

[Will and Grace Fanatic]

Grace:God, the guys I'm dating date such losers.

[Jordan]

Originally posted by springb
"Honey, did you REALLY think you could get into heaven wearing body glitter? Well, you can't..."

~ Karen in Jack's play ~

Oh, that is a good one....I forgot about that one until just now! That's great stuff... :happyface :happyface :happyface

[spookystarbuck]

Wow, love ALL those mentioned. A few of my faves are those mentioned in my siggy box.
I also am a fan of anything that comes out of Karens mouth!

[MandieR1980]

Lionel: Lionel Banks, Lionel like the trains Banks like the money and you are?
Karen: Anastasia Beaverhousin, Anastasia like Russian royalty and Beaverhousin like.....where the beaver live.

[call.me.karen]

Jack: "Anne Heche-Lafoon he's straight!" (About Matt Damon)
------------
Jack: "You know why were stuck. Because heterosexual marriage is just WRONG! I mean, if God had intended man and woman to be together he would have given them both penises."
------------
Karen: "Martini. And don't waste any space with those olives."
------------
Grace: "Okay, here's the thanksgiving menu so far; apple pie, pumpkin pie, blueberry tart and ice cream roll. What am I missing? ... CAKE! We need cake!
Will: 'Did you take a bong hit before you wrote that?
------------
Cheryl: "Mrs Walker? Cheryl Bricker-Fossberg. Taylor and Hayden's mom."
Karen: "I have no idea what you just said."
((haha, when I first saw that episode I didn't understand what the woman had said either!!))
------------
Karen: ((to the woman from the above quote)) "Well I find stretch pants appalling but I'm too much of a lady to mention it fat ass!"
------------
Karen: "Oh my God. She just asked a fairy and engine question. We're all gonna die in this car."
Will: "Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that."

[call.me.karen]

2 more..

Karen: "You backstabbing boy bi t ch! You are never, ever seeing her again! Do you hear me?!? You stay away from that London hog or I'll put fishhooks in your nipples and fly you off the Chrysler building! You got that!?"
-------------
Grace: "Well Karen is always buzzed and Jack never pays attention."
Karen: "Where am I?"
Jack: "Sorry, what'd you say??"

[Superbatboy]

Grace: "Told ya so, told ya so, told ya, told ya told ya so, gotta go love you call me tomorrow have a good thanksgiving"

[jayman75]

Jack: Sarah Jessica Parker, Hide Me!

Karen: Any comment about Grace's clothes



that's all I can remember...

[felicitylen]

Grace: Hey, Kare - just FYI - the first three letters in assistant spell 'ass', so please get off yours!

--------
Jack: [Gasping] God can hear you right through the building - and she's not happy!

(this one is a fave of mine; I think it's funny how he would refer to God as "she")

[dynoguy88]

Too many to mention but here are the ones I can think of off the top of my head right away.


Will quotes -

*WILL: (talking to Grace) Oh that is just perfect!!!! Are you out of your mind?!?!?!? Are you THAT intent on ruining your life?!?!? My GOD!!!! Pamela Anderson makes better choices then you!!!!

*WILL: Why would you want to go to your ex-fiance's wedding? You didn't show up when you were the bride, why show up now??

*WILL: (Looking at Grace's purse) Is this from the Betty Rubble collection?

*WILL: JT, give us a minute, will you, please? Holler if you hit puberty.


Grace quotes -

*GRACE: I am not mad! And I'll tell you why I'm mad... because I'm not mad!

*GRACE: (To Will) Now, sit your ass on the bench of the piano that we bought together, sip your root beer float, and have some friggin' fun!!!!


*GRACE: (To Will) Have you been eating my makeup?!?!?!?

*GRACE: That's the love of my life... kissing that guy.


Karen quotes -

*KAREN: I'm not going to Queens!!! There are people living in cabs down there!!!!

*KAREN: Oh, yeah, he's fine now. Javier the busboy gave him the Heimlich. Gosh, I should probably get him something as a thank-you. Maybe the rest of his family from Cuba.

*KAREN: Grace, the blouse hurts like a hangover!

*KAREN: Where are you going?!?!? Don't leave me alone with these ice freaks!!!!!!!! .....Oh, not you honey!


Jack quotes -

*JACK: Sarah Jessica Parker, hide me!!!!!!!!!!

*JACK: (to Grace) Oh, I see. I guess maintaining the 13 shades of red in your hair keeps you so busy, you don't have any time for recreational reading.

*JACK: Karen and Milo sitting in a tree. K-I-S-I-N-G...wait!

*JACK: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You just got married and you don't even know each others name?!?

[jayman75]

Karen (to Grace, I believe):

Honey, I love you like the mother I had committed against her will.

[SPLAIN]

Thank you, i just had more laughs reading these two pages than watching a whole season of any comedy show on tv currently! And sometimes the actors, especially Karen have such a mouthful to say and such poor diction that you miss some great lines, thanks again, my stomach hurts, and NOT IN A GOOD WAY!

[EricIdlefan]

What are the lines that Jack did with guest star Kevin Bacon when he brought up Footloose like the Mastercard commericial like

"Footloose character"
"Ren MacCormack "100 Dollars"
"How much he showed his private parts"
"Priceless"
I only saw it once and forgot all of the lines!

[dynoguy88]

Originally posted by EricIdlefan
What are the lines that Jack did with guest star Kevin Bacon when he brought up Footloose like the Mastercard commericial like

"Footloose character"
"Ren MacCormack "100 Dollars"
"How much he showed his private parts"
"Priceless"
I only saw it once and forgot all of the lines!


JACK: [JUMPS UP, EXCITEDLY] First film-- Animal House! Character's name in Footloose-- Ren MacCormack! Number of films with full frontal nudity...four! Number of films with full sidal nudity...three! Number of films with rear frontal nudity... priceless!

[iluvjackandkaren]

karen:

i love you like a cold sore!

how did you break your neck? running from good taste.

grace:

what straight man do you know that wears a vest?

jack: to will in the candace bergman epi

mine is the tan camry with two scratches

it's funny when it walks

[Buttons]

Drum roll, for my first post on this new to me message board!

Karen, when she is trying to explain to Jack why she must say good bye.
I'll have to paraphrase,

"Every straight female, gay guy relationship has it's best before date."

I found this part of the episode truly bizarre.
That's entertainment!

http://www.deadzoom.com/member/dianequeenofstuff/Diane/D-eek.gif

[Janet McFarland]

( Jack and Karen think Grace is crazy )

Karen: Grace doesnt even have one personality let alone 6 or 7!

[Janet McFarland]

Karen: Will , take off your homo hat and put on your lawyer hat , Rosario saved me again!

[hewlsmw]

Hi all....my first post:)

Will talking about not pigging out at all the other places they were going on Thanksgiving...
Grace: "Why did you look at me when you said that?"
Will: "Who should I be looking at?"
Grace: ".........me."

[Moondance]

I liked this one quote:

Will: Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.

Jack: Well, boys don't make passes at boys with bad asses.


HAHAHA! http://img11.photobucket.com/albums/v34/TroyandLindseyFan/killingme.gif


Feen

[dynoguy88]

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
I liked this one quote:

Will: Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.

Jack: Well, boys don't make passes at boys with bad asses.


Feen


The actual quote Jack said is "Boys don't make passes at boys with FAT asses." Jack making fun of Will's weight, yet again.

[Moondance]

Originally posted by dynoguy88
The actual quote Jack said is "Boys don't make passes at boys with FAT asses." Jack making fun of Will's weight, yet again.

Well, that makes more sense, huh?


Feen

[SmartAznTiger]

Will-"Okay, do you want to be bad people with a good apartment or good people with a bad apartment?"

Grace-"I think you know my answer to that question."

[nlearfan]

Jack telling that girl about her boyfriend in the restaurant:

"Tom's queer dear."

________________

Or Karen commenting on Grace's boyfriend Josh

"That man should be killed."

[nlearfan]

Jack telling that girl about her boyfriend in the restaurant:

"Tom's queer dear."

________________

Or Karen commenting on Grace's boyfriend Josh

"That man should be killed."

And of course, JUST JACK!

[debodun]

My favorite scenes are the ones where someone says an amusing thing and you think the joke is over, but they bump it up a step further or two. Here are some examples:

Season 1
JACK: Why would you just assume that I was gay? [EVERYONE LAUGHS] Ok. FYI, folks, most people that meet me do not know that I am gay.
WILL: Jack, blind and deaf people know you're gay. (bump) Dead people know you're gay.
JACK: Grace, did you know I was gay when you met me? (bump again)
GRACE: My dog knew.
ANSWERING MACHINE: [BEEP.] [JACK'S VOICE:] Hi, Will, it's Jack. Listen, two things: very important. I got-- [WILL PRESSES DELETE.]
ANSWERING MACHINE: [BEEP.] [JACK'S VOICE:] Hi. It's me again. I-- [WILL PRESSES DELETE.]
ANSWERING MACHINE: [BEEP.] [JACK'S VOICE:] And one more thing. You'll never believe who gave me a-- [WILL PRESSES DELETE.]

Season 2
This one seems to go on and on:
WILL: Look at that gorgeous face!
GRACE: Look at the leather pants.
JACK: Look at those massive jugs.
WILL: Yeah. What's going on there? [ALL THREE LOOK CLOSELY AT GRACE’S PICTURE IN THE PAPER]
GRACE: What are you talking about? My...jugs...look exactly like they do in the picture.
WILL: They definitely don't. No. These are, like, 5 times the size. I mean, maybe it was the angle the photograph was taken. You know, King Kong was only 8 inches tall. Look. Let me show you. And I'm a gay man, so this means nothing. [WILL CUPS GRACE'S BREASTS] This is how big yours are, see, whereas the picture gives the illusion of, like, thisness. [MOVES HIS HANDS DOWN]
GRACE: Oh! [KNOCKING HIS HANDS AWAY] You're crazy!
JACK: Grace, let me see now. I am also a gay man, so this means nothing. [CUPS GRACE'S BREASTS] Yeah, Will's right. These are definitely smaller. Oh, my god. I just got to second with Grace!
GRACE: I guess they do look a little hugesque.
JACK: Do me. See how big mine are.
GRACE: Jack, no.
JACK: Come on! You got felt up.
GRACE: Ok, but I'm a straight woman, so this means nothing.
JACK: Ok.
GRACE: [GRACE CUPS JACK'S PECS] Someone's been working out?
JACK: Guilty.
WILL: Hey, hey, Gracie, you know, while you're giving it away over there... Huh?
GRACE [FEELING WILL’S PECS]: Now, these are some knockers!
[GRACE PUTS THE OTHER HAND ON JACK'S PEC...WILL PUTS A HAND ON JACK'S PEC...JACK PUTS A HAND ON WILL'S PEC...JACK AND WILL BOTH PUT THEIR OTHER HANDS ON GRACE'S BREASTS...]
WILL: Ok. This just got weird. [THEY REMOVE THEIR HANDS AND MOVE APART.]

Season 4
KAREN: So how was your audition for "Six Feet Under"?
JACK: Terrible.
KAREN: [GASPS] Why? What happened? You didn't get the part?
JACK: No. The casting assistant was gorgeous, and as convincing as my performance was for Male Corpse on Slab, there was one part of me that refused to play dead.
KAREN: I see. So you would have only been five and a half feet under.
JACK: Do not underestimate me!

[Rockapella722]

Jack: "Ha... ha-ha... you're bloated!"

Jack: "Okay, anger doesn't really go with what you're wearing..."

Jack: [flounces in] "Whaddya think of my glasses? What do they say?"
Will: "They say... 'guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.'"
Jack: "And guys don't make passes at guys with fat asses. ... I think they make me look smart."
Will: "Yeah, Jack, it's the intellectual equivalent of stuffing a sock in your pants."

Karen: [hanging up the phone on Rosario] "Hola..."

Will: [to Jack] "Look... Swishburger..."

Will: "[Insult], you monkey."

[Karen_Walker]

Hnmm... way to many....
Grace: Don’t get so worked up Karen, Just take it one day at a time. Karen: [mean look] what did you say? Grace: I said take it one day at a time. Karen: What a hoo, and a ha! Grace: Ya know easy dose it, Let go and let God. Karen: Where did you hear that? Who taught you that hate speech?! Grace: I’ve been going to AA meetings. Karen: Grace how could you? AA goes angst everything that I believe to be good and pure.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on! I know what guilt is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything. You know, like &maternal& or &addiction.&

Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning! ?

Karen Walker: Grace Alden! I'm ashamed... Grace: Adler! My last name is Adler! Karen Walker: Oh...That's pretty. ?

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! This is a place of business! Were trying to get some work done in here and we dont need you just bargin...Okay, Im saying it and I dont even buy it. (starts laughing)

Smitty, whats it all about? Oh wait, I dont give a crap! (starts laughing)

Those are my favs. here are some fuuny ones!

I'm fabulous... I'm an incredible dresser, I've got buckets of money, I'm a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack.
Honey, Whats that? Whats going on? Whats happening?
Husbands come and go but the Chanel slingback is forever?
You call me down to this godforsaken place, to tell me my kids made the honor roll? Honey, my time is precious. Call me when one of them gives birth at the prom!
Lordy, lordy, look at all the freaks.
The only other person I've apologized to was my mother, and that was court ordered. So take the apology in the spirit it was intended, or I'll kick you in the gen'als.
If you want people to like you you have to buy them things.
Honey, I often ask people on my staff to do different things. Cook sometimes cleans. Cleaner sometimes cooks. Driver sometimes provides an alibi.
Drive a car, drive a boat, drive a plane. What does it matter? So long as I'm drunk.

Honey, whats this, whats happening, whats going on here?

Grace, honey, we've talked about this outfit.

Honey, youre simple, youre shallow, and youre a common whore, thats why were soul mates! Karen
Kare, youre my best friend in the whole world! Jack

Grace, tell Will to redirect his anger at his mother where it belongs.

Martini, honey, and dont waste any space with those olives!

Hi, Poodle. Karen
Whos your daddy? Jack
You are. Karen

Oh, for Gods sake, its just the four of us. Grab a bottle, hunker down, and pray for daylight.

Oh, honey, well here, charge yourself a little happy.

Im sorry; you must have mistaken me for someone else. My name is Anastasia Beaverhousen.

(mockingly) Honey, whats going on, whats happening, whats this all about? Grace
Honey, whats this, what are you doing, whos that suppose to be? Karen

It feels like theres something missing in my life. You know, like my soul is on empty. -JACK
You can go alotta years on empty, honey. Trust me.
-KAREN


Oh Im telling you, shes evil! Im being tortured in my own home; shes irresponsible, shes lazy, she drinks, and worst of all she makes fun of what I wear. What are you suppose to say to a woman like that?

Im Stanley Walkers bitch!

I quit -KAREN
Why because I saw you in one lousy movie? -GRACE
No, Grace, because the balance of power has shifted between us. You used to put me on a pedestal and look at me like I was some kind of a super woman; the epitome of everything thats good, and decent, and true. -KAREN
Um okay. -GRACE
But now when you look at me all youre going to see is the woman in that video...The bossy, domineering, heartbeat who uses her body to get what she wants

Lordy, Lordy, look at all the freaks.

Meats and cheeses, you are rockin my clock Mary!

I am trying to create a moment here! -KAREN
Right, so tell him... -GRACE
Im still talking. -KAREN
All im saying... -GRACE
Quit interrupting me! -KAREN
Dont yell at me! -GRACE
Im not yelling! -KAREN
YES YOU ARE!! (really loud) -GRACE
(very sad) God, honey, I was just trying to tell you a little story -KAREN

Oh my god, youre a big lez!

FROM EPISODE "HOMO FOR THE HOLIDAYS"

He also told her I was his girlfriend -GRACE
And she bought that??? -KAREN

(With her feelings hurt)
Why wasnt I your girlfriend, queerbait? -KAREN
What? -JACK
You told your mother that grace was your girlfriend! How could you? -KAREN
Karen I didnt even know you when I made up that lie. -JACK
Oh yeah? Well when you met me then you should have broken up with her and hooked up with me. -KAREN
Youre married, Im gay. -JACK
(mockingly) Not in the lie -KAREN

Okay, Im thankful that I found a pharmacologist who is dumb as a box of hairAnd my secret is, Jack and I were doing the dirty dirty while you two were still together! -KAREN
Karen, how come you moved in on her man? JACK'S MOM
No, no, no, no, no; he came onto me, he was looking for a real woman not someone who just lays there like bib lettuce, ha ha ha ha ha, bib lettuce. -KAREN
The truth is, after 2 weeks with her he come running back to me. -GRACE
He did not!! -KAREN
Oh, but he did. What were his exact words again? Oh, yes, my Hearld and Maude phase is over. -GRACE
Oh I have half a mind to throw this martini right in your face! (then starts drinking it) -KAREN

Are you workin' me, Wilma?

Why doesn't this chair come with an airsickness bag?

Oh, sorry, I'm late. Oh God, that sounded insincere, I'm late! ha ha ha ha

Honey, I'm busy, touch yourself.

He should be killed. KAREN
He happens to be be the sweetest, most thoughtful, most sensitive guy I have ever gone out with. I think he's great. GRACE
Makes me wanna barf, I wanna kick him til he's dead, honey KAREN

You're in a gay club with a nice ass, start shakin' that money maker!

KAREN: Don't give me that "hee hee hee!" How dare you come between a man and his wife! What you're doing is morally wrong! I have kids with that man! His ex-wife's body is ruined as a result! But he's all I've got. You think that you're coming between me and Stanley Walker, you're not gonna get him without a fight. That's right, lady, put 'em up!
TINA: Who's Stanley Walker?
GRACE: Karen, she's having an affair with Will's dad.
KAREN: Oh. Oh! Well, good for you, honey! He's a good catch, keep up the good work, you got a nice ass!



GRACE: You know, it's strange how things have changed for the two of us over the last year.
KAREN: Hmm.
GRACE: I'm a married lady giving out dating advice. Now you're the single girl, starting your life over.
KAREN: Mm-hmm.
GRACE: I like it
KAREN: I hate it.
GRACE AND KAREN: [BOTH] I know you do.

"Honey, I know it’s scary. Hey, when I started working in the corporate world of Grace Adler designs I was terrified. Would she like me? Would I be good at my job? And now look at me, honey, I’m one of the richest women in the world. Yes there’s no connection but if you pause in the right places and emphasise the right words it sounds very inspiring."

"You say potato, I say vodka. " -Karen Walker

"Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?" -Karen Walker

Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning! 


[looking into a mirror] Hello Starshine! 


ink you're missing the silver lining here. When you're old and in diapers, a gay son will know how to keep you away from chiffon and backlighting. 


Karen Walker: Where the hell have you been? Rosario: Riding a llama in Neverland. Where do you think? I was cleaning. [Karen is waiting up for Rosario, who has been out cleaning another man's apartment.] Karen Walker: Well, well, well. El Pollo has come home to roost. How's Beverly?Rosario: Miss Karen, I was just -- Karen Walker: Oh, don't insult me with your lies! I know where you were! Scrubbing floors for Beverly Leslie. I can smell his generic cleaning products all over you! Rosario: It's not what you think. Karen Walker: Oh, really? Is that a new Members Only jacket you're wearing?Rosario: So what if it is? A lady likes nice things.

[gay.nerd]

will: u dont u ask grace to go??
Jack: i dont know will me and grace hardly know each other

----------------------------------------------------------------------

jack:william would u like to join us for the 10.00am screaning of spanglish wich is spanish for english

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

msn me gay.nerd@hotmail.com

[gay.nerd]

Hi all....my first post:)

Will talking about not pigging out at all the other places they were going on Thanksgiving...
Grace: "Why did you look at me when you said that?"
Will: "Who should I be looking at?"
Grace: ".........me."

will to jack: and no running off with the first guy you meet
jack:y do u look at me when u say that
will:who should i be looking at
jack: (chukle)...me

will to karen:and no getting drunk
karen:u do u look at me when u say that
will:who should i be looking at
karen:(looks at will then jack chuckles)...me

[Tikkiisland22]

Karen to Lesly(I can never spell his name right): "Well, I didn't see you at the wedding. I'm not surprised, there were kids there and they scream when they see something your sized not covered in Muppet fur"

[Smartboy]

If I had to pick one quote that I thought was the best, I would have to go with one that took place during the fifth season. By this stage in the game, Grace and Leo were already married and living in an apartment in Brooklyn. Because of how much traveling Leo had to do for his job, there was very little time between the point to where he returned from one trip and when he left on the next. During a stopover in Brooklyn, that lasted for a few days, he brought home his inflatable neck pillow. Grace had never seen such a thing before and she asked her what it was used for. After explaining it to Grace, he was about to put the pillow into his bag. Grace said that he might not want to pack it because of something else that she had been using it for. Leo could not understand what else in the world Grace could possibly have used it for. Grace responded with, "it fits right over the toilet seat!" I always thought that Grace was kooky in a nice way!

[3dfan]

Guys dont make passes at guys with fat asses - by Jack and a lot of other of his phrases, he is my fav character in this show!