EmoJoe
10-30-2005, 08:02 PM
CAST:
Matt Anderson............Maroon 5’d
Chris Anderson..........Chad Doody
Jake Anderson...............TF
Mrs. Brunson..............Sassette
Anna Chaland ...............Alyssa Milano (young)
Willie Definsticker................Jack
Mike Sanson.......................Ben Savage
Elizabeth………………..Girl Meets World
GUEST STARS:
Miss Freehan………..…..Kathy Bates
Nurse Lindsey………………….Lisa Kudrow
Nurse Linda…………………………Roseanne Barr
Mrs. Anderson………………Betsy Randle
Mr. Anderson………………..John Stamos
Jessica……………………………Kaley Cuoco
Old Lady Patient…………………………Doris Roberts
Jessica’s Dad………………………………………Brian Krause
Jessica’s Mom…………………………………………………Patricia Heaton
Little Girl……………………………………………………………………Dakota Fanning
Officer Bob…………………………………………….robyrob
(Matt, Anna, and Mike are in Miss Freehan’s class)
Miss Freehan: TOMORROW, BRING IN A HIGHLY UNHEALTHY SNACK THAT I CANT EAT…UM, I MEAN, STUDY. OH, I ALMOST FORGOT, I HAVE TO GIVE YOU THIS DUMB NOTICE ABOUT VOLENTEERING AT THE HOSPITAL, BUT I WOULD SUGGEST YOU DON’T HELP THOSE DUMB, IDIOT, PEOPLE.
Anna: Well, isn’t she a real sweetheart?
Mike: Stop insulting the elephant!
Matt: Well, I have to say, I agree with her on one thing, I’m not wasting my time at no hospital!
(We see Matt at the Anderson house)
Matt: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM HELPING OUT AT THE HOSPITAL?!?!
Mrs. Anderson: Your father and I think it would be good, Matt, and charity work always makes you feel good!
Matt: Yeah, but it’s on SATURDAY NIGHTS! And Saturday nights are when my favorite shows are on. And charity work may make me feel good, but TV makes me feel better! A
Mr. Anderson: Matt, that’s so selfish!
Matt: Who cares? The hospital is a horrible place. It puts horrifying images in your mind that haunt you for years and years. It’s like infomercials!
Mrs. Anderson: Oh Matt! Anna’s doing it!
Matt: Anna’s doing it?
Mrs. Anderson: Yes
Matt: Ok, I’m in
(We see Anna, Matt, and Mike in the hospital)
Nurse Lindsey: Hello, junior doctors! Your uniforms just came in!
(The nurse takes out a doctor’s cap, mouth coverer, and doctor’s gown. Matt screams)
Anna: It’s not that bad
(Anna takes out a gown, and sees a brown stain on it)
Anna: EWWW! What is THAT?
Nurse Lindsey: Umm…we don’t like to talk about it…
(Another nurse comes in)
Nurse Linda: Oh great, the brats are here! I see one of them got the stained one
(Nurse Linda laughs manically)
Anna: You take it, Mike
Nurse Linda: NO WAY!!! YOU GOT IT FIRST!!
Anna: BUT I DON’T WANT IT!
Nurse Linda: Oh well!
(Nurse Linda body slams Anna)
Nurse Lindsey: Now Linda, please get off of the little girl, dear!
Nurse Linda: Kindness…sweetness…IT BURNS!!!
Nurse Lindsey: Now Linda, you know what happened the last time you body slammed a volunteer.
Nurse Linda: Oh yeah…
(She laughs manically again)
Nurse Lindsey: Let’s put on our uniforms, shall we?
(The 3 come out, wearing doctor’s uniforms. Anna busts out in laughter at Matt)
Matt: Not..funny
(She’s still laughing)
Matt: Alright, now you’re starting to sound like Nurse Linda!
(She stops laughing)
Matt: You don’t look so great yourself in your uniform, either)
Anna: I cant look as bad as you
(Matt points Anna in the direction of the mirror)
Anna: OH MY GOD I LOOK AS BAD AS YOU!
Nurse Linda: You little brats better get started, or there’s 345 pounds of fun waiting for you!
Mike: MY AUNT HENRY IS COMING TO VISIT?!?!?!
Matt: You have an Aunt Henry?
Mike: Who’s Aunt Henry?
Nurse Lindsey: Oh, children! Your first task has arrived! Come with me
(They follow her into an old woman’s room)
Old Lady: Oh, they’ve finally arrived! I’ve been waiting for them all day long!
Anna: You have?
Old Lady: I have?
Matt: …you just said you’ve been waiting for us all day long
Old Lady: Oh yes, yes, yes. I need to tell you a story.
(Anna and Matt look at each other, as the scene switches to the Anderson house. We see Chris bursting through the door)
Chris: I’ve got a DATE!
Mrs. Anderson: I hope by “date” you mean date that you’re starting college.
Chris: Mom, you know the rules, when it comes to my future and girls, girls always come first. Say it with me now!
Chris and his parents: Girls always come first!
Chris: Again!
Chris and his parents: Girls always come first!
Chris: Again, now!
Chris and his parents: Girls always come first!
Chris: One more time, now!
Mr. Anderson: NO! Now you should be focusing on your education more then dates.
Chris: But dad, I’m meeting her parents tonight! They’ll love me!
Mrs. Anderson: They’re going to love a person who watches 3-year-old shows all day and refuses to apply for college?
Chris: Well, sure. I mean, she’s going to some rinky-dink school.
Mr. Anderson: What “rinky-dink” school would that be?
Chris: I don’t know, it’s called Harvard or something. Sounds like a school for the dim-witted, huh?
(Chris laughs)
Mrs. Anderson: That “rinky-dink” school happens to be one of the top schools in the country.
Chris: Uh oh
(We see Anna, Matt, and Mike in the hospital)
Old Lady Patient: So then my I told my son “if you marry her, I’m never visiting you two or calling you EVER! You’ll never see me again!”, and right after I said that, he proposed! I didn’t speak to him for 15 years!
Anna: That’s very interesting…but…
Old Lady Patient: But then, ohhh then, I called him, and guess what, he DIVORCED her! I was leaping with joy! Of course not too much, cause then I would have a heart attack, but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!
Matt: I see…but really…
Old Lady Patient: So then I called him a few weeks ago and he..
Matt: Excuse me, but you need to take…
Old Lady Patient: And he is now
Anna: Miss…
Old Lady Patient: A father of 8!
Matt: LADY, YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR PILLS!!!!!
(Everyone is silent as we see Chris at his girlfriend’s parents house)
Jessica’s Dad: So…what college are you attending?
Chris: College?
(They stare at him)
Chris: Oh college! Yes, I’m going to…Bahbahlooz University
(They stare at him again)
Jessica (whispering to Chris): Why aren’t you acting normal? Just tell them what college your going to!
Chris (whispering back): I don’t go to college!
Jessica: Oh yes, Bahbahlooz University, one of the top schools!
Jessica’s Mom: But…I’ve never heard of it.
Chris: Why, Mrs…
Chris: (whispering to Jessica again) What’s your last name?
Jessica: Mahack
Chris: Mrs. Mahack, I am shocked you have never heard of the great college called Bahbahlooz University! It is a great school!
Jessica’s Dad: Oh, so what are you majoring in?
(Chris is silent. The scene switches back to the hospital)
Nurse Linda: Hey, you
Matt: Me?
Nurse Linda: Yeah, you, your wanted in room 104.
Matt: Oh, ok, let me just…
Nurse Linda: GO NOW!!!!
Matt: Ok! Ok!
(Matt enters the room, and a cute little girl is there)
Little Girl (innocently): Why, hello, doctor. I’m in this yucky old hospital because I have a high fevor. May I please have a glass of water?
Matt: Oh, I don’t know, I have a lot of other things to…
Little Girl: GET IT NOW OR I’LL BEAT YOU UP WITH MY BARBIE!!!!
Matt: AHH! Ok, I’ll get it now!
(He runs out of the room and into the hospital kitchen)
Matt: This…is HORRIBLE. I have to get some 4-year-old a glass of water
(Anna laughs)
Anna: Why do you look scared about it?
Matt: She threatned me!
Anna: Oh come on, she’s 4 years old. What’s she gonna do, beat you up with her Barbie?
Matt: Well…
Little Girl (shouting from her room): HURRY UP, OR BARBIE’S GONNA BRUISE YOU BAD!
Anna: Wow, that IS bad
Mike: NO IT’S NOT!
Matt: Yeah, it is!
Mike: NO, IT’S NOT!
Matt: YEAH, IT IS
Mike: NO, IT’S NOT
Matt: YEAH, IT IS!
Mike: NO, IT IS!
Matt: YEAH, IT’S NOT…oh my god, I can’t believe I fell for that
Mike: NO YOU DIDN’T!
Matt: SHUT UP
Mike: NO I DON’T
Little Girl: GET OVER HERE!
(Matt gets a glass of water and runs over there)
Anna: Wow, this is really turning out to be a disaster…
Mike: Don’t ask me, I’m just a creature from the deep beyond.
(Anna stares at him)
Nurse Linda: BRAT GIRL!
Anna: WHAT!?!?! I mean, what, Nurse Linda?
Nurse Linda: Someone puked in the cafeteria, GO CLEAN IT UP!
Anna: Why do I have to do it?
Nurse Linda: Cause I don’t like you
Anna: That’s not fair!
Nurse Linda: DO IT OR I’LL LOCK YOU IN THE CLOSET!
Anna: I’m going!
Nurse Linda (to Mike): What are you staring at?
Mike: You. You’re a hippo.
Nurse Linda: HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME! I’LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!!
(Mike stands there)
Nurse Linda: You mean…your not afraid?
Mike: I AM AFRAID!
Nurse Linda: NO YOU’RE NOT
Mike: YES I’M NOT
Nurse Linda: NO YOU ARE…oh, you little weasel! GO CLEAN THE SCUM AROUND THE HOSPITAL!
Mike: Ok!
(Mike tries to push Nurse Linda out of the way, but she gets mad and runs away. Then Matt and Anna return)
Anna: This job STINKS!
Matt: I know, and we don’t even get paid!
Anna: The only think good about it is Nurse Lindsey, she’s so nice.
(Nurse Lindsey walks in)
Nurse Lindsey: Well, kids, I’m sorry to annonce that MY SHIFT IS OVER! YEAH! YEAH…I mean…it’s so sad I have to leave this wonderful hospital
(She leaves)
Nurse Lindsey: Oh yeah! Nightclubs, here I come!
Anna: Oh great, now we’re stuck with Nurse Linda.
Matt: Forget it! Let’s ditch this place and go to the movies or something.
Anna: I’m in!
Mike: I’m in. NO I’M NOT!
Matt: Don’t even START!
(They try to sneak away, but Nurse Linda catches them)
Nurse Linda: YOU LITTLE BRATS GET BACK HERE!
(They run out the door)
Nurse Linda: OH YOU KIDS!!!
(The door slams in her face)
Anna: Hurry! With Nurse Lindsey gone, who KNOWS what she’s capable of doing?
Nurse Linda: GET BACK HERE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR BONES AND USE THEM AS GRILLING UTENSILS!
Matt: THAT’S what she’s capable of doing.
Anna: Hide in those bushes!
(They jump in the bushes)
Nurse Linda: Where’d they go?
(She runs the other way)
Anna: Phew…We lost her
Nurse Linda: THERE YOU ARE!!!
(They run away)
Matt: No we didn’t!
(Anna sees a Subway sign)
Anna: Hurry! Run into there!
(They run in there, and come out with a sub. They put it on the bench and run)
Nurse Linda: I’LL GET YOU!
(She sniffs)
Nurse Linda: Oooh…is that turkey?
(She stops and eats it)
Nurse Linda: Wait a minute…I ain’t stupid…although, my GPA in college was a –3.4…BUT I KNOW THIS IS A TRAP!
(She runs after them and finally, corners them)
Nurse Linda: You’ll pay now!
(Just then, a cop car siren sounds)
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. And you are Linda Lura, a.ka Nurse Linda, correct?
Nurse Linda: …Yes
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. You’re under arrest for assault of hospital patients and volunteers.
Nurse Linda: WHAT?!?!
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. Come with me.
(He handcuffs her and puts her in the back of the police car)
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.
Nurse Linda: YEAH RIGHT! I COULD BODY SLAM YOU AND ALL OF THE OFFICERS IN THERE, YOU JUST WAIT, AND THEN I’LL…
(Officer Bob slams the door shut and then takes her away)
Anna: I learned one thing…I’m NEVER gonna be a doctor.
Matt: Me neither. We got off lucky this time…
Mike: NO WE DIDN’T!!!
(The end credits roll as we see Chris and Jessica watching TV together)
Man on TV: Do you want to go to college, but you don’t want to go far? Are you an idiot? Then sign up to go to Bahbahlooz College, where we accept idiots! Call 1-800-IDIOTS RULE! Cause idiots ROCK!
(Chris and Jessica look at each other)
Chris: I’M CALLING!
Matt Anderson............Maroon 5’d
Chris Anderson..........Chad Doody
Jake Anderson...............TF
Mrs. Brunson..............Sassette
Anna Chaland ...............Alyssa Milano (young)
Willie Definsticker................Jack
Mike Sanson.......................Ben Savage
Elizabeth………………..Girl Meets World
GUEST STARS:
Miss Freehan………..…..Kathy Bates
Nurse Lindsey………………….Lisa Kudrow
Nurse Linda…………………………Roseanne Barr
Mrs. Anderson………………Betsy Randle
Mr. Anderson………………..John Stamos
Jessica……………………………Kaley Cuoco
Old Lady Patient…………………………Doris Roberts
Jessica’s Dad………………………………………Brian Krause
Jessica’s Mom…………………………………………………Patricia Heaton
Little Girl……………………………………………………………………Dakota Fanning
Officer Bob…………………………………………….robyrob
(Matt, Anna, and Mike are in Miss Freehan’s class)
Miss Freehan: TOMORROW, BRING IN A HIGHLY UNHEALTHY SNACK THAT I CANT EAT…UM, I MEAN, STUDY. OH, I ALMOST FORGOT, I HAVE TO GIVE YOU THIS DUMB NOTICE ABOUT VOLENTEERING AT THE HOSPITAL, BUT I WOULD SUGGEST YOU DON’T HELP THOSE DUMB, IDIOT, PEOPLE.
Anna: Well, isn’t she a real sweetheart?
Mike: Stop insulting the elephant!
Matt: Well, I have to say, I agree with her on one thing, I’m not wasting my time at no hospital!
(We see Matt at the Anderson house)
Matt: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM HELPING OUT AT THE HOSPITAL?!?!
Mrs. Anderson: Your father and I think it would be good, Matt, and charity work always makes you feel good!
Matt: Yeah, but it’s on SATURDAY NIGHTS! And Saturday nights are when my favorite shows are on. And charity work may make me feel good, but TV makes me feel better! A
Mr. Anderson: Matt, that’s so selfish!
Matt: Who cares? The hospital is a horrible place. It puts horrifying images in your mind that haunt you for years and years. It’s like infomercials!
Mrs. Anderson: Oh Matt! Anna’s doing it!
Matt: Anna’s doing it?
Mrs. Anderson: Yes
Matt: Ok, I’m in
(We see Anna, Matt, and Mike in the hospital)
Nurse Lindsey: Hello, junior doctors! Your uniforms just came in!
(The nurse takes out a doctor’s cap, mouth coverer, and doctor’s gown. Matt screams)
Anna: It’s not that bad
(Anna takes out a gown, and sees a brown stain on it)
Anna: EWWW! What is THAT?
Nurse Lindsey: Umm…we don’t like to talk about it…
(Another nurse comes in)
Nurse Linda: Oh great, the brats are here! I see one of them got the stained one
(Nurse Linda laughs manically)
Anna: You take it, Mike
Nurse Linda: NO WAY!!! YOU GOT IT FIRST!!
Anna: BUT I DON’T WANT IT!
Nurse Linda: Oh well!
(Nurse Linda body slams Anna)
Nurse Lindsey: Now Linda, please get off of the little girl, dear!
Nurse Linda: Kindness…sweetness…IT BURNS!!!
Nurse Lindsey: Now Linda, you know what happened the last time you body slammed a volunteer.
Nurse Linda: Oh yeah…
(She laughs manically again)
Nurse Lindsey: Let’s put on our uniforms, shall we?
(The 3 come out, wearing doctor’s uniforms. Anna busts out in laughter at Matt)
Matt: Not..funny
(She’s still laughing)
Matt: Alright, now you’re starting to sound like Nurse Linda!
(She stops laughing)
Matt: You don’t look so great yourself in your uniform, either)
Anna: I cant look as bad as you
(Matt points Anna in the direction of the mirror)
Anna: OH MY GOD I LOOK AS BAD AS YOU!
Nurse Linda: You little brats better get started, or there’s 345 pounds of fun waiting for you!
Mike: MY AUNT HENRY IS COMING TO VISIT?!?!?!
Matt: You have an Aunt Henry?
Mike: Who’s Aunt Henry?
Nurse Lindsey: Oh, children! Your first task has arrived! Come with me
(They follow her into an old woman’s room)
Old Lady: Oh, they’ve finally arrived! I’ve been waiting for them all day long!
Anna: You have?
Old Lady: I have?
Matt: …you just said you’ve been waiting for us all day long
Old Lady: Oh yes, yes, yes. I need to tell you a story.
(Anna and Matt look at each other, as the scene switches to the Anderson house. We see Chris bursting through the door)
Chris: I’ve got a DATE!
Mrs. Anderson: I hope by “date” you mean date that you’re starting college.
Chris: Mom, you know the rules, when it comes to my future and girls, girls always come first. Say it with me now!
Chris and his parents: Girls always come first!
Chris: Again!
Chris and his parents: Girls always come first!
Chris: Again, now!
Chris and his parents: Girls always come first!
Chris: One more time, now!
Mr. Anderson: NO! Now you should be focusing on your education more then dates.
Chris: But dad, I’m meeting her parents tonight! They’ll love me!
Mrs. Anderson: They’re going to love a person who watches 3-year-old shows all day and refuses to apply for college?
Chris: Well, sure. I mean, she’s going to some rinky-dink school.
Mr. Anderson: What “rinky-dink” school would that be?
Chris: I don’t know, it’s called Harvard or something. Sounds like a school for the dim-witted, huh?
(Chris laughs)
Mrs. Anderson: That “rinky-dink” school happens to be one of the top schools in the country.
Chris: Uh oh
(We see Anna, Matt, and Mike in the hospital)
Old Lady Patient: So then my I told my son “if you marry her, I’m never visiting you two or calling you EVER! You’ll never see me again!”, and right after I said that, he proposed! I didn’t speak to him for 15 years!
Anna: That’s very interesting…but…
Old Lady Patient: But then, ohhh then, I called him, and guess what, he DIVORCED her! I was leaping with joy! Of course not too much, cause then I would have a heart attack, but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!
Matt: I see…but really…
Old Lady Patient: So then I called him a few weeks ago and he..
Matt: Excuse me, but you need to take…
Old Lady Patient: And he is now
Anna: Miss…
Old Lady Patient: A father of 8!
Matt: LADY, YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR PILLS!!!!!
(Everyone is silent as we see Chris at his girlfriend’s parents house)
Jessica’s Dad: So…what college are you attending?
Chris: College?
(They stare at him)
Chris: Oh college! Yes, I’m going to…Bahbahlooz University
(They stare at him again)
Jessica (whispering to Chris): Why aren’t you acting normal? Just tell them what college your going to!
Chris (whispering back): I don’t go to college!
Jessica: Oh yes, Bahbahlooz University, one of the top schools!
Jessica’s Mom: But…I’ve never heard of it.
Chris: Why, Mrs…
Chris: (whispering to Jessica again) What’s your last name?
Jessica: Mahack
Chris: Mrs. Mahack, I am shocked you have never heard of the great college called Bahbahlooz University! It is a great school!
Jessica’s Dad: Oh, so what are you majoring in?
(Chris is silent. The scene switches back to the hospital)
Nurse Linda: Hey, you
Matt: Me?
Nurse Linda: Yeah, you, your wanted in room 104.
Matt: Oh, ok, let me just…
Nurse Linda: GO NOW!!!!
Matt: Ok! Ok!
(Matt enters the room, and a cute little girl is there)
Little Girl (innocently): Why, hello, doctor. I’m in this yucky old hospital because I have a high fevor. May I please have a glass of water?
Matt: Oh, I don’t know, I have a lot of other things to…
Little Girl: GET IT NOW OR I’LL BEAT YOU UP WITH MY BARBIE!!!!
Matt: AHH! Ok, I’ll get it now!
(He runs out of the room and into the hospital kitchen)
Matt: This…is HORRIBLE. I have to get some 4-year-old a glass of water
(Anna laughs)
Anna: Why do you look scared about it?
Matt: She threatned me!
Anna: Oh come on, she’s 4 years old. What’s she gonna do, beat you up with her Barbie?
Matt: Well…
Little Girl (shouting from her room): HURRY UP, OR BARBIE’S GONNA BRUISE YOU BAD!
Anna: Wow, that IS bad
Mike: NO IT’S NOT!
Matt: Yeah, it is!
Mike: NO, IT’S NOT!
Matt: YEAH, IT IS
Mike: NO, IT’S NOT
Matt: YEAH, IT IS!
Mike: NO, IT IS!
Matt: YEAH, IT’S NOT…oh my god, I can’t believe I fell for that
Mike: NO YOU DIDN’T!
Matt: SHUT UP
Mike: NO I DON’T
Little Girl: GET OVER HERE!
(Matt gets a glass of water and runs over there)
Anna: Wow, this is really turning out to be a disaster…
Mike: Don’t ask me, I’m just a creature from the deep beyond.
(Anna stares at him)
Nurse Linda: BRAT GIRL!
Anna: WHAT!?!?! I mean, what, Nurse Linda?
Nurse Linda: Someone puked in the cafeteria, GO CLEAN IT UP!
Anna: Why do I have to do it?
Nurse Linda: Cause I don’t like you
Anna: That’s not fair!
Nurse Linda: DO IT OR I’LL LOCK YOU IN THE CLOSET!
Anna: I’m going!
Nurse Linda (to Mike): What are you staring at?
Mike: You. You’re a hippo.
Nurse Linda: HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME! I’LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!!
(Mike stands there)
Nurse Linda: You mean…your not afraid?
Mike: I AM AFRAID!
Nurse Linda: NO YOU’RE NOT
Mike: YES I’M NOT
Nurse Linda: NO YOU ARE…oh, you little weasel! GO CLEAN THE SCUM AROUND THE HOSPITAL!
Mike: Ok!
(Mike tries to push Nurse Linda out of the way, but she gets mad and runs away. Then Matt and Anna return)
Anna: This job STINKS!
Matt: I know, and we don’t even get paid!
Anna: The only think good about it is Nurse Lindsey, she’s so nice.
(Nurse Lindsey walks in)
Nurse Lindsey: Well, kids, I’m sorry to annonce that MY SHIFT IS OVER! YEAH! YEAH…I mean…it’s so sad I have to leave this wonderful hospital
(She leaves)
Nurse Lindsey: Oh yeah! Nightclubs, here I come!
Anna: Oh great, now we’re stuck with Nurse Linda.
Matt: Forget it! Let’s ditch this place and go to the movies or something.
Anna: I’m in!
Mike: I’m in. NO I’M NOT!
Matt: Don’t even START!
(They try to sneak away, but Nurse Linda catches them)
Nurse Linda: YOU LITTLE BRATS GET BACK HERE!
(They run out the door)
Nurse Linda: OH YOU KIDS!!!
(The door slams in her face)
Anna: Hurry! With Nurse Lindsey gone, who KNOWS what she’s capable of doing?
Nurse Linda: GET BACK HERE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR BONES AND USE THEM AS GRILLING UTENSILS!
Matt: THAT’S what she’s capable of doing.
Anna: Hide in those bushes!
(They jump in the bushes)
Nurse Linda: Where’d they go?
(She runs the other way)
Anna: Phew…We lost her
Nurse Linda: THERE YOU ARE!!!
(They run away)
Matt: No we didn’t!
(Anna sees a Subway sign)
Anna: Hurry! Run into there!
(They run in there, and come out with a sub. They put it on the bench and run)
Nurse Linda: I’LL GET YOU!
(She sniffs)
Nurse Linda: Oooh…is that turkey?
(She stops and eats it)
Nurse Linda: Wait a minute…I ain’t stupid…although, my GPA in college was a –3.4…BUT I KNOW THIS IS A TRAP!
(She runs after them and finally, corners them)
Nurse Linda: You’ll pay now!
(Just then, a cop car siren sounds)
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. And you are Linda Lura, a.ka Nurse Linda, correct?
Nurse Linda: …Yes
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. You’re under arrest for assault of hospital patients and volunteers.
Nurse Linda: WHAT?!?!
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. Come with me.
(He handcuffs her and puts her in the back of the police car)
Officer Bob: I’m Officer Bob. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.
Nurse Linda: YEAH RIGHT! I COULD BODY SLAM YOU AND ALL OF THE OFFICERS IN THERE, YOU JUST WAIT, AND THEN I’LL…
(Officer Bob slams the door shut and then takes her away)
Anna: I learned one thing…I’m NEVER gonna be a doctor.
Matt: Me neither. We got off lucky this time…
Mike: NO WE DIDN’T!!!
(The end credits roll as we see Chris and Jessica watching TV together)
Man on TV: Do you want to go to college, but you don’t want to go far? Are you an idiot? Then sign up to go to Bahbahlooz College, where we accept idiots! Call 1-800-IDIOTS RULE! Cause idiots ROCK!
(Chris and Jessica look at each other)
Chris: I’M CALLING!