EmoJoe
09-18-2005, 12:08 AM
Hope you guys enjoy :D
CAST:
Matt Anderson............Maroon 5’d
Chris Anderson..........Chad Doody
Jake Anderson...............TF
Mrs. Brunson..............Sassette
Anna Chaland ...............Alyssa Milano (young)
Willie Definsticker................Jack
Mike Sanson.......................Ben Savage
Elizabeth………………..Girl Meets World
GUEST STARS:
Miss Freehan………..…..Kathy Bates
Mrs. Harf…………Camryn Manheim
Mrs. Anderson…………Betsy Randle
Mr. Anderson………John Stamos
Katie……………………Amanda Peet
Extremley Old Women………………Rue McHeahan (sp?)
Billie……………………………BF
(The clock says 2:00 A.M. Matt is still sleeping when a knock is heard on the door
Matt: What the….?
(Matt answers the door, and it’s Mike)
Mike: Ready for school?
Matt: No I’m not ready for school! It’s 2 AM!
Mike: Ohhh. Sorry
(Mike leaves)
(Theme Song: “The Sun” by Maroon 5)
(The clock says 6:59 AM. Suddenly, it turns to 7 AM and the alarm rings)
Matt: Uggh…
(Chris comes storming in)
Chris: WAKE UP SQUIRT! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! GUESS WHAT!!!!! YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL! AND I DON’T!
Matt: Shut up
Chris: Why should I? I’m not going to school! So I don’t have to shut up if I don’t want to do. Although I will miss…JILL THE JANITOR!
(Chris starts to cry)
Matt: Yeah well, don’t you have your daily early morning date?
Chris: Oh yeah, I almost forgot
(doorbell rings, and it’s the Extremley Old Women from the last episode)
Extremley Old Women: Ready…….to……….roll?
Chris: You bet I am
(we see the whole family, minus Chris, at the breakfast table)
Jake: I’m so excited to go back to school so I can see…*sigh* Katie.
Mr. Anderson: Who’s Katie? Why haven’t we ever met her?
Matt (whispering to parents): Cause she’s not real
Jake: She’s IS real! You just have to believe. Everyone close your eyes. Close them. Now I want you to imagine something great. Anything. See it. Feel it. CLOSE YOUR EYES, MOM! See it. Believe it
(Everyone’s eyes are closed. Jake goes to his dad’s wallet and takes a 50 dollar bill and leaves)
Jake: Heh, works everytime
Mrs. Anderson: Jake…can we open our eyes now? Jake? JAKE!
(They open their eyes)
Mr. Anderson: He left!
Matt: Probably to see his imaginary girlfriend. Well, anyway, I’ve gotta get going, don’t wanna be late for my first day of 8th grade!
Mrs. Anderson: Ok, bye sweetie
(We see Matt on the bus, as Mike comes on the bus in his bathing suit)
Matt: Why do you have on your bathing suit?
Mike: Because we’re going to the pool!
Matt: No we’re not…we’re going to school!
Mike: I know, we’re going to the pool!
Matt: School!
Mike: Pool!
Matt: School!
Mike: Pool!
Matt: Pool!
Mike: The store!
(Matt stares at Mike as Anna comes onto the bus. Anna looks upset)
Matt: Why are you so sad? I thought you loved school…
Anna: We have new teachers now, no more Mrs. Brunson!
Matt: Maybe you’ll like our new teachers?
Anna: It won’t be the same!
Mike: I know what you mean. This is EXACTLY like the toilet incident with my bird.
Anna: Do I WANT to know?
Mike: Well, I mistaked my bird for a toilet….
Anna: No, I don’t.
(The bus arrives at Madison Middle School)
Mike (to a 6th grader): Hey, you’re one of those people with growing problems, aren’t you?
(6th grader runs away)
Anna: Mike, don’t be rude!
Mike: What? It’s like the Wizard of Oz!
Elizabeth: Hey guys!
Matt: Hey, Elizabeth. What’s up?
Elizabeth: Nothing much, you?
Matt: Same here
Anna: Well, we’re VERY happy to chat with you, Elizabeth, but we have to go to Health because unlike some people, we care about school. So goodbye
Elizabeth: Health? You guys have Health first period? Me too!
Matt: Awesome!
Mike: GO HIPPOS!!!
Anna: Uggh
Elizabeth: What was that, Anna?
Anna: I mean…I’m so happy to be in class with you!
Elizabeth: Oh, I thought so (winks)
Anna (under her breath): As long as she stays away from me, and Matt.
(We see the Health room. The kids are sitting in their desks, talking. Mike is barking…literally.)
Anna: Here comes the teacher…maybe she WILL be my role model, I mean she’s probably fit, healthy, and nice!
Matt: Here she comes! Everyone, be quiet!
(An overweight, cranky-looking teacher comes into the class)
Anna: Mrs. Freehan…? Is this a joke?
Mike: Whoa, you’re an elephant!
Mrs. Freehan: I AM NOT AN ELEPHANT, YOU EVIL LITTLE CHILD! AND JOKES?!?! JOKES?!?!? JOKES!?!? JOKES ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED IN THIS CLASS!!!! LAUGHING HURTS MY STOMACH AFTER MY CIGERATTE BREAK, WHICH IS EVERY FIVE MINUTES, BY THE WAY!
Mike: You’re one loud elephant!
Elizabeth: but you’re a health teacher. Health, as in, keeping your body in shape?
Teacher: Did I say Cigarette? I meant…candy!
Anna: But that’s bad for your body too!
Mrs. Freehan: I DON’T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT MY BODY! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAY, WHY SIT HERE AND WORRY ABOUT IT? THESE HEALTH FREAKS MAKE ME PUKE! MY BACK IS SORE, MY ARM IS PROBABLY FRACTURED, I’M 115 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT, AND I’M DOING JUST FINE RIGHT?
(the class is silent)
Matt: Have you every reliazed that you’re a health teacher?
Mrs. Freehan: I SHOULD BE THE SCIENCE TEACHER, BUT WHEN I BLEW UP MY HOUSE AFTER TRYING TO BUILD A POTION THEY DECIDED TO MAKE ME THE HEALTH TEACHER INSTEAD! THOSE IDIOTS! I WISH DEATH UPON ALL OF THEM! AAAGH!!!
(Mrs. Freehan takes her pencil box and throws it against the wall)
Mrs. Freehan: CURSE YOU, SCHOOL! YOUR PENCIL BOX IS CRAPPY!
(The class looks confused)
(It’s after Health class and the kids are in the hallway)
Anna: Well, looks like I’m not making friends with Mrs. Freehan…
Mike: Yeah! Elephants are hard to deal with!
Matt: Maybe you’ll have luck with our Science teacher, Mrs. Harf.
(Class walks in to the Science room, and yet another overweight, cranky-looking women comes in)
Mrs. Harf: Hi. I’m Ms. Harf. Welcome to my class, everyone!
Anna: This year suddenly became the best year ever!
Mrs. Harf? Hello, little girl. Did I hear you talking?
(Anna blushes)
Mrs. Harf: Talking isn’t allowed in my class. I know it may be hard, but try to resist from being a troublemaker. That may be what you are now, but you can change that.
Matt: Whoa. Anna got dissed by a teacher. Never thought I’d see the day…
Anna: LISTEN, YOU NASTY WITCH!
(The class gasps)
Anna: I am NOT a troublemaker, and don’t you DARE ever accuse me of being one again?
(Anna looks at the class and then Mrs. Harf)
Anna: I’m in big trouble
(Commerical Break)
(It’s lunchtime)
Anna: 8th grade might just be the worst year ever.
Mike: Why? We get to have elephants for teachers!
Anna: It’s the first day…and I have detention for the rest of the month. Anna Chaland in detention. This is awful!
(As Anna is talking, Mike is stuffing corn in his armpits and pouring milk on it)
Mike: Look at me!
Anna: GROSS!!!
Matt: Well, anyway, you called the teacher a witch, what did you expect? Flowers?
Anna: So? EVERYONE’S called some teacher names before
Elizabeth: To their face?
Mike: Even I know the answer is yes. Sheesh, you people are so dumb.
(They stare at Mike)
Mike: What? You guys are looking at me as if I was dumb or something!
Matt: Mike, you ARE dumb
Mike: So I’m Mrs. Freehan?
Anna: I don’t know who’s dumber, you or Willie
Matt: Speaking of Willie, where is he?
(They see Billie walking by)
Anna: Hey, where’s Willie?
Billie (crying): We don’t like to talk about it…
Matt: Whoa! Did something…happen to him?
Billie: Yes. Something did. It’s time for people to know. The last time I saw Willie was in a black suit…that was the last of the Willie I once loved. Now he’s gone
Anna: Oh my god…
Willie: Gone from a nerd to a cool kid!
(They turn around and see Willie in a black leather jacket, wearing jeans, standing in the corner)
Matt: Willie?
Mike: OH GRANDMA! YOU’RE BACK FROM ARUBA ALREADY?
(Mike hugs Willie)
Willie: Get off of me, twerp!
Anna: I have to be dreaming, this can’t be 8th grade.
Mike: I know exactly how to tell if you’re dreaming or not!
(Mike hits Anna over the head with 5 books)
Anna: Ow! MIKE! Couldn’t you just pinch me?
Mike: Sure!
(Mike pinches Anna)
Anna: MIKE…
Willie: Hey look! It’s a geek fight!
Matt: Willie, you ARE a geek
Willie: What are you talking about? I’m cool. Just ask the ladies…
Matt: Girls hate you
Willie: Do not. Oh ladies…
(Two girls come and happily kiss Willie on the cheeks)
Matt: I think I just died.
Mike: Want me to pinch you?
Matt: NO!
(It’s after school, and Mike, Matt, and Anna are at Matt’s house)
Matt: So how was detention, Anna?
Anna: HORRIBLE! AWFUL!
Matt: Yeah, I thought so
Anna: It’s gonna be a tough year
Mike: Yeah. People won’t let me pinch them
Matt: Maybe it won’t be so bad.
Anna: No, it will be bad.
Matt: Maybe we just have to adjust
Anna: Or maybe we won’t ADJUST
Matt: But we will…
Anna: Will not…
Matt: Will too..
Anna: Will not
(Mike pinches both Anna and Matt)
Anna and Matt (together) OW!
(It’s later that night, and the doorbell is ringing)
Jake: Oh, that’s Katie
Chris: Yeah…right
Jake: Your right, it’s not Katie. She IS fake. I need to learn that
(Jake opens the door)
Katie: Hey Jake
Jake: ….Katie?
Katie: That’s right. Are we going, or what?
Jake: Yeah…let’s go
(Jake gets his coat)
Jake (whispering to Chris): I TOLD YA SO!
*End Credits
CAST:
Matt Anderson............Maroon 5’d
Chris Anderson..........Chad Doody
Jake Anderson...............TF
Mrs. Brunson..............Sassette
Anna Chaland ...............Alyssa Milano (young)
Willie Definsticker................Jack
Mike Sanson.......................Ben Savage
Elizabeth………………..Girl Meets World
GUEST STARS:
Miss Freehan………..…..Kathy Bates
Mrs. Harf…………Camryn Manheim
Mrs. Anderson…………Betsy Randle
Mr. Anderson………John Stamos
Katie……………………Amanda Peet
Extremley Old Women………………Rue McHeahan (sp?)
Billie……………………………BF
(The clock says 2:00 A.M. Matt is still sleeping when a knock is heard on the door
Matt: What the….?
(Matt answers the door, and it’s Mike)
Mike: Ready for school?
Matt: No I’m not ready for school! It’s 2 AM!
Mike: Ohhh. Sorry
(Mike leaves)
(Theme Song: “The Sun” by Maroon 5)
(The clock says 6:59 AM. Suddenly, it turns to 7 AM and the alarm rings)
Matt: Uggh…
(Chris comes storming in)
Chris: WAKE UP SQUIRT! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! GUESS WHAT!!!!! YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL! AND I DON’T!
Matt: Shut up
Chris: Why should I? I’m not going to school! So I don’t have to shut up if I don’t want to do. Although I will miss…JILL THE JANITOR!
(Chris starts to cry)
Matt: Yeah well, don’t you have your daily early morning date?
Chris: Oh yeah, I almost forgot
(doorbell rings, and it’s the Extremley Old Women from the last episode)
Extremley Old Women: Ready…….to……….roll?
Chris: You bet I am
(we see the whole family, minus Chris, at the breakfast table)
Jake: I’m so excited to go back to school so I can see…*sigh* Katie.
Mr. Anderson: Who’s Katie? Why haven’t we ever met her?
Matt (whispering to parents): Cause she’s not real
Jake: She’s IS real! You just have to believe. Everyone close your eyes. Close them. Now I want you to imagine something great. Anything. See it. Feel it. CLOSE YOUR EYES, MOM! See it. Believe it
(Everyone’s eyes are closed. Jake goes to his dad’s wallet and takes a 50 dollar bill and leaves)
Jake: Heh, works everytime
Mrs. Anderson: Jake…can we open our eyes now? Jake? JAKE!
(They open their eyes)
Mr. Anderson: He left!
Matt: Probably to see his imaginary girlfriend. Well, anyway, I’ve gotta get going, don’t wanna be late for my first day of 8th grade!
Mrs. Anderson: Ok, bye sweetie
(We see Matt on the bus, as Mike comes on the bus in his bathing suit)
Matt: Why do you have on your bathing suit?
Mike: Because we’re going to the pool!
Matt: No we’re not…we’re going to school!
Mike: I know, we’re going to the pool!
Matt: School!
Mike: Pool!
Matt: School!
Mike: Pool!
Matt: Pool!
Mike: The store!
(Matt stares at Mike as Anna comes onto the bus. Anna looks upset)
Matt: Why are you so sad? I thought you loved school…
Anna: We have new teachers now, no more Mrs. Brunson!
Matt: Maybe you’ll like our new teachers?
Anna: It won’t be the same!
Mike: I know what you mean. This is EXACTLY like the toilet incident with my bird.
Anna: Do I WANT to know?
Mike: Well, I mistaked my bird for a toilet….
Anna: No, I don’t.
(The bus arrives at Madison Middle School)
Mike (to a 6th grader): Hey, you’re one of those people with growing problems, aren’t you?
(6th grader runs away)
Anna: Mike, don’t be rude!
Mike: What? It’s like the Wizard of Oz!
Elizabeth: Hey guys!
Matt: Hey, Elizabeth. What’s up?
Elizabeth: Nothing much, you?
Matt: Same here
Anna: Well, we’re VERY happy to chat with you, Elizabeth, but we have to go to Health because unlike some people, we care about school. So goodbye
Elizabeth: Health? You guys have Health first period? Me too!
Matt: Awesome!
Mike: GO HIPPOS!!!
Anna: Uggh
Elizabeth: What was that, Anna?
Anna: I mean…I’m so happy to be in class with you!
Elizabeth: Oh, I thought so (winks)
Anna (under her breath): As long as she stays away from me, and Matt.
(We see the Health room. The kids are sitting in their desks, talking. Mike is barking…literally.)
Anna: Here comes the teacher…maybe she WILL be my role model, I mean she’s probably fit, healthy, and nice!
Matt: Here she comes! Everyone, be quiet!
(An overweight, cranky-looking teacher comes into the class)
Anna: Mrs. Freehan…? Is this a joke?
Mike: Whoa, you’re an elephant!
Mrs. Freehan: I AM NOT AN ELEPHANT, YOU EVIL LITTLE CHILD! AND JOKES?!?! JOKES?!?!? JOKES!?!? JOKES ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED IN THIS CLASS!!!! LAUGHING HURTS MY STOMACH AFTER MY CIGERATTE BREAK, WHICH IS EVERY FIVE MINUTES, BY THE WAY!
Mike: You’re one loud elephant!
Elizabeth: but you’re a health teacher. Health, as in, keeping your body in shape?
Teacher: Did I say Cigarette? I meant…candy!
Anna: But that’s bad for your body too!
Mrs. Freehan: I DON’T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT MY BODY! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAY, WHY SIT HERE AND WORRY ABOUT IT? THESE HEALTH FREAKS MAKE ME PUKE! MY BACK IS SORE, MY ARM IS PROBABLY FRACTURED, I’M 115 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT, AND I’M DOING JUST FINE RIGHT?
(the class is silent)
Matt: Have you every reliazed that you’re a health teacher?
Mrs. Freehan: I SHOULD BE THE SCIENCE TEACHER, BUT WHEN I BLEW UP MY HOUSE AFTER TRYING TO BUILD A POTION THEY DECIDED TO MAKE ME THE HEALTH TEACHER INSTEAD! THOSE IDIOTS! I WISH DEATH UPON ALL OF THEM! AAAGH!!!
(Mrs. Freehan takes her pencil box and throws it against the wall)
Mrs. Freehan: CURSE YOU, SCHOOL! YOUR PENCIL BOX IS CRAPPY!
(The class looks confused)
(It’s after Health class and the kids are in the hallway)
Anna: Well, looks like I’m not making friends with Mrs. Freehan…
Mike: Yeah! Elephants are hard to deal with!
Matt: Maybe you’ll have luck with our Science teacher, Mrs. Harf.
(Class walks in to the Science room, and yet another overweight, cranky-looking women comes in)
Mrs. Harf: Hi. I’m Ms. Harf. Welcome to my class, everyone!
Anna: This year suddenly became the best year ever!
Mrs. Harf? Hello, little girl. Did I hear you talking?
(Anna blushes)
Mrs. Harf: Talking isn’t allowed in my class. I know it may be hard, but try to resist from being a troublemaker. That may be what you are now, but you can change that.
Matt: Whoa. Anna got dissed by a teacher. Never thought I’d see the day…
Anna: LISTEN, YOU NASTY WITCH!
(The class gasps)
Anna: I am NOT a troublemaker, and don’t you DARE ever accuse me of being one again?
(Anna looks at the class and then Mrs. Harf)
Anna: I’m in big trouble
(Commerical Break)
(It’s lunchtime)
Anna: 8th grade might just be the worst year ever.
Mike: Why? We get to have elephants for teachers!
Anna: It’s the first day…and I have detention for the rest of the month. Anna Chaland in detention. This is awful!
(As Anna is talking, Mike is stuffing corn in his armpits and pouring milk on it)
Mike: Look at me!
Anna: GROSS!!!
Matt: Well, anyway, you called the teacher a witch, what did you expect? Flowers?
Anna: So? EVERYONE’S called some teacher names before
Elizabeth: To their face?
Mike: Even I know the answer is yes. Sheesh, you people are so dumb.
(They stare at Mike)
Mike: What? You guys are looking at me as if I was dumb or something!
Matt: Mike, you ARE dumb
Mike: So I’m Mrs. Freehan?
Anna: I don’t know who’s dumber, you or Willie
Matt: Speaking of Willie, where is he?
(They see Billie walking by)
Anna: Hey, where’s Willie?
Billie (crying): We don’t like to talk about it…
Matt: Whoa! Did something…happen to him?
Billie: Yes. Something did. It’s time for people to know. The last time I saw Willie was in a black suit…that was the last of the Willie I once loved. Now he’s gone
Anna: Oh my god…
Willie: Gone from a nerd to a cool kid!
(They turn around and see Willie in a black leather jacket, wearing jeans, standing in the corner)
Matt: Willie?
Mike: OH GRANDMA! YOU’RE BACK FROM ARUBA ALREADY?
(Mike hugs Willie)
Willie: Get off of me, twerp!
Anna: I have to be dreaming, this can’t be 8th grade.
Mike: I know exactly how to tell if you’re dreaming or not!
(Mike hits Anna over the head with 5 books)
Anna: Ow! MIKE! Couldn’t you just pinch me?
Mike: Sure!
(Mike pinches Anna)
Anna: MIKE…
Willie: Hey look! It’s a geek fight!
Matt: Willie, you ARE a geek
Willie: What are you talking about? I’m cool. Just ask the ladies…
Matt: Girls hate you
Willie: Do not. Oh ladies…
(Two girls come and happily kiss Willie on the cheeks)
Matt: I think I just died.
Mike: Want me to pinch you?
Matt: NO!
(It’s after school, and Mike, Matt, and Anna are at Matt’s house)
Matt: So how was detention, Anna?
Anna: HORRIBLE! AWFUL!
Matt: Yeah, I thought so
Anna: It’s gonna be a tough year
Mike: Yeah. People won’t let me pinch them
Matt: Maybe it won’t be so bad.
Anna: No, it will be bad.
Matt: Maybe we just have to adjust
Anna: Or maybe we won’t ADJUST
Matt: But we will…
Anna: Will not…
Matt: Will too..
Anna: Will not
(Mike pinches both Anna and Matt)
Anna and Matt (together) OW!
(It’s later that night, and the doorbell is ringing)
Jake: Oh, that’s Katie
Chris: Yeah…right
Jake: Your right, it’s not Katie. She IS fake. I need to learn that
(Jake opens the door)
Katie: Hey Jake
Jake: ….Katie?
Katie: That’s right. Are we going, or what?
Jake: Yeah…let’s go
(Jake gets his coat)
Jake (whispering to Chris): I TOLD YA SO!
*End Credits