How to Tell When Someone is Joking or Not?

[swedeace]

....this goes for the online world, actually....

I know someone who I chat with where we have butted heads at times because I had NO idea he was just joking with me. Needless to say, I took things seriously where he keeps up with the flow. After a while and after I was persistent he explained to me what he meant, he told me he was joking and I fell right into his trap! He was having fun with me!

I understand that I fell into his trap and all, but it's just kinda frustrating how I take certain things in a sensitive manner. When I show that, he just keeps the flow.

I mean, was it me who just didn't realize he was kidding and took it TOO seriously, or was it him who was TOO insensitive where he didn't say earlier, "I'm just joking!"? This is sorta like an odd situation. What do you think? Who was right and who was wrong in this scenario?

Now, this doesn't happen EVERYTIME we chat. It only happens give-or-take on some chats. We chat about 2-3 times per week. I guess once every other week, I would say. Amazingly we manage to keep in touch. Are we crazy or what? :crazy:

Dawsongirl: This is kinda like your thread where you talked about your crush being a jerk. This situation sorta reminds me of that.

Have any of you experienced this in the online world? I only say online because there is no non-verbal or body language to distinguish - only words.

[Stuck In The '70's]

Their have been people around here that I butted heads with because I didn't know they were joking. Whenever I joke I always put the :lol: smiley in my posts. It makes it easier to avoid any confusion.

[Hollow]

sometimes people say something stupid, get laughed at for it, and then try to cover their ass by saying they were "kidding". it's hysterical.

[dawsongirl]

Dawsongirl: This is kinda like your thread where you talked about your crush being a jerk. This situation sorta reminds me of that.

:lol: I was just thinking that! Is this the same guy that you butted heads with over IM ettiquete? Like you put up an away or busy if you didn't want to talk and he couldn't understand that.

Yeah...smilies sure save the day. He should use them more often. Actually, everyone should so this kind of confusion is cut down.

[swedeace]

:lol: I was just thinking that! Is this the same guy that you butted heads with over IM ettiquete? Like you put up an away or busy if you didn't want to talk and he couldn't understand that.
:lol: Yeah, you hit the nail on the head. It's the same guy.... actually, he also initiated as my crush, and we've been exclusively chatting on MSN instant messenger. Weird because there are times we have fun, get along, laugh, open up, joke sexually, have conflicts, argue, annoy each other, etc, etc. This has been going on for about eight weeks, but it feels like an eternity. :eek:

It was yesterday shortly after our latest chat that I created this thread. During the chat, I was getting soooo frustrated because I honestly took his calling me a "liar" to heart. Before I knew he was joking, I became highly offensive because I thought he really thought I was lying. I felt helpless because I couldn't defend myself...almost like backed into a corner.

I agree with everyone about the smileys usage, and I use them so I won't confuse people. Unfortunately, not everyone uses them. This guy is one of those people, too. :mad:

[Pus$y Galore]

I'd tell him straight out Mona that you're still not used to his sense of humour, and it would sure help if he used smilies or at least a "lol" or "j/k". I corresponded with someone via email like that and we got into misunderstandings all the time. It's not pleasant I know. You're going along just fine and then all of a sudden there's this line written and you're not sure how to take it.

Have you suggested the smiley thing to him at all?

[swedeace]

I'd tell him straight out Mona that you're still not used to his sense of humour, and it would sure help if he used smilies or at least a "lol" or "j/k". I corresponded with someone via email like that and we got into misunderstandings all the time. It's not pleasant I know. You're going along just fine and then all of a sudden there's this line written and you're not sure how to take it.

Have you suggested the smiley thing to him at all?
Ack! I just realized I was meaning to reply. *nervous chuckle*

Anyway, yeah, he has used occasional emoticons but more in the fun sense like using sarcasm or in joking manners....and this is sometimes. Not all the time when he's joking or being sarcastic he will use emoticons. Although, it would make things a lot easier for me and just in general netiquetteness. We just don't see eye-to-eye on this because he'd just tell me, "Well, that's what you use, but I don't."

It's frustrating because online is so much easier to get misunderstandings than real-life because of those non-verbals that are not present. It's like having to put a "voice" or way of speaking in words. Sure, I can "hear" his voice when he is writing something, but it's still difficult to tell... Emoticons rule, is all I have to say! :lol:

[Brian]

For some reason I am a lot better at knowing when someone is joking online than offline. :lol:

[EmoJoe]

Its hard to tell online, because offline I can usually tell by the tone of people's voices.

But most people I talk to put "lol" or "j/k" after their statement if they are joking (online)

[robyrob]

if you can't tell when I am joking, then the joke is ON you.

...and i'm probably not going to use a smiley to "soften the blow", but you can usually just safely assume that whatever I'm talking about, I'm not serious.

or AM i? :crazy:

[EmoJoe]

if you can't tell when I am joking, then the joke is ON you.

...and i'm probably not going to use a smiley to "soften the blow", but you can usually just safely assume that whatever I'm talking about, I'm not serious.

or AM i? :crazy:
With you I can ALWAYS tell your joking roby :p

[swedeace]

Its hard to tell online, because offline I can usually tell by the tone of people's voices.
Yep, that is part of the non-verbals that we can see/hear.

if you can't tell when I am joking, then the joke is ON you.

...and i'm probably not going to use a smiley to "soften the blow", but you can usually just safely assume that whatever I'm talking about, I'm not serious.

or AM i? :crazy:
:lol: You really do remind me of the guy I chat with. This is so much like something he would definitely say only without the smiley you used. ;)

[robyrob]

:lol: You really do remind me of the guy I chat with. This is so much like something he would definitely say only without the smiley you used. ;)
i think you should throw him a couple of curveballs to throw him off - beat him at his own game, or just track him down and beat him.

[swedeace]

i think you should throw him a couple of curveballs to throw him off - beat him at his own game, or just track him down and beat him.
*devil ears pop up* Yeahhhh...... Me want to! I kinda got revenge on him by conning him to send me a photo of him. Haha. But that's nothing... I want to find a way to beat him at his own game. Hmmm... Sometimes when I ask him a serious question, he sorta replies using quotes or metaphors. When I ask him to explain, he'll beat around the bush. He is quite inscrutable, indeed. So I need to get him back. Any ideas? I need something GOOD to get him!! :wave: :lol:

[robyrob]

*devil ears pop up* Yeahhhh...... Me want to! I kinda got revenge on him by conning him to send me a photo of him. Haha. But that's nothing... I want to find a way to beat him at his own game. Hmmm... Sometimes when I ask him a serious question, he sorta replies using quotes or metaphors. When I ask him to explain, he'll beat around the bush. He is quite inscrutable, indeed. So I need to get him back. Any ideas? I need something GOOD to get him!! :wave: :lol:
have you sent him any photos yet?

if not, tell him you are a retired gentlemen, and you just made friends with him because you felt sorry for him...

then send him your picture:

[Stuck In The '70's]

have you sent him any photos yet?

if not, tell him you are a retired gentlemen, and you just made friends with him because you felt sorry for him...

then send him your picture:
:rofl:

[swedeace]

LOL, Robyrob!! :lol:

Unfortunately, it isn't THAT easy for me. You see, he started off as my crush at my job (work at college computer classrooms), and he's a student. We live in the same city. I approached him, talked with him, and gave him my contact info. I've sent a couple of photos to him, and he's sent me two. He likes to tease me and ask if I have any revealing photos of me. I told him I have one and asked him to send me another one of him first. He did. I showed him mine with me in shorts. More revealing? The skin on my legs! LOL! That got him back for his "joking" trick he played on me. haha... revenge is soooo sweet!! I just want to get him more.. haha..

Then he and I have been keeping in touch via instant messenger since early May. So we have seen each other in person, but we have moved exclusively onto faceless communication since then. We have yet to see if he'd feel comfortable to hang out in person. I say this because he is having personal problems, and I get the impression he is a bit afraid to hang out in person.

[robyrob]

Unfortunately, it isn't THAT easy for me. You see, he started off as my crush at my job (work at college computer classrooms), and he's a student. We live in the same city. I approached him, talked with him, and gave him my contact info. I've sent a couple of photos to him, and he's sent me two. He likes to tease me and ask if I have any revealing photos of me. I told him I have one and asked him to send me another one of him first. He did. I showed him mine with me in shorts. More revealing? The skin on my legs! LOL! That got him back for his "joking" trick he played on me. haha... revenge is soooo sweet!! I just want to get him more.. haha..
well, that does make it a little tougher, and certainly takes some of the fun out of it, but there are still a number of different, crazy things you could try to tell him, like:


you are actually married - to a mobster, preferably a HITMAN
that you are a clogging enthusiast, and you INSIST that he take classes for it
that you occasionally have "visions", and that something very strange is going to happen to him, like get abducted by Scientologists or aliens (kinda the same thing anyways)
that Ed McMahon is your fairy godparent, and likes to give you REALLY BIG cheques for your birthdays and such

[robyrob]

send him one of these:

http://www.knockknock.biz/commerce/images/slideshow/slide_12000_4_Front_2.jpg

...or INSIST that he sign a pre-pre-nuptual agreement to be friends with you

[swedeace]

well, that does make it a little tougher, and certainly takes some of the fun out of it, but there are still a number of different, crazy things you could try to tell him, like:


you are actually married - to a mobster, preferably a HITMAN
that you are a clogging enthusiast, and you INSIST that he take classes for it
that you occasionally have "visions", and that something very strange is going to happen to him, like get abducted by Scientologists or aliens (kinda the same thing anyways)
that Ed McMahon is your fairy godparent, and likes to give you REALLY BIG cheques for your birthdays and such

Haha!! :lol: Thanks for your list!! I ask you because you two have the same sort of writing style, so it helps a lot!!! I liked the middle one since he likes science. Hehe!!

And I loved your friendship prenuptial agreement! LOL!!! I think I will bring that upon him the next time I catch him on the instant messenger!! :happyface

[dawsongirl]

i think you should throw him a couple of curveballs to throw him off - beat him at his own game, or just track him down and beat him.

:lol: