One of those "blonde" jokes

[G-Force Glockstar]

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss, concerned about his empolyee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day....we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

The blonde very calmy explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know", he says.

A few hours passed and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can to do help?"

"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

[Penny Lane]

I love blonde jokes! :lol: I am a bottle blonde so I don't consider myself a true blonde! :lol: :wave:

[Penny Lane]

Did you hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory?

She threw away all the W's. :crazy:

[G-Force Glockstar]

Did you hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory?

She threw away all the W's. :crazy:

Yeah :lol:

[swedeace]

Haha! I simply just LOVE those blonde jokes!!! :D

[Pus$y Galore]

Then here you go ladies!!


BLONDE SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

BLONDE EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you
aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out." he says.
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

BLONDE RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."

BLONDE KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled along side a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren,the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and
yelled,
"PULLOVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a British Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"The American said, "We were
the first on the moon!"
The British Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the British Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"

BLONDE IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

BLONDE FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of
yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares
at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration,
takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking
the answer sheet:
Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, where as the rest of the class is
still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately
throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided
to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a
little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straighthome. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the
$10,000in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.
Inside the bag was the following note....
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to
another.

[swedeace]

:lol: Thanks for those jokes also, TripperFan!! They are hilarious!!!! :D

[G-Force Glockstar]

Yeah those were great, Tripperfan! :D Except I didn't really understand the last part of the last joke.

[Brent88]

:brent :brent :brent

HILARIOUS... :lol:

[Pus$y Galore]

Yeah those were great, Tripperfan! :D Except I didn't really understand the last part of the last joke.


I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straighthome. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the
$10,000in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.
Inside the bag was the following note....
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to
another.

The first blonde kidnaps her boy. But she pins the ransom note to the kid and SENDS HIM HOME!! Then the other blonde (mother of the kid) pays the $10,000 anyway - even though she already had her son back!
hmmmmmm........YOU'RE a blonde right! ;) I kid! I kid!

I get tons of these sent to me - here's more fun for ya!:

Blonde and the Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says:
"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, A**hole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person ... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large ... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this. Mister, I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"

********************************************************
SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT............

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped over the cordless phone.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup
her mind.

She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T
WALK.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she
put "Sagittarius."

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home,
she moved.

Did you hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
...It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the
YMCA?
..."Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice?
...Because it said "concentrate."

Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
...They're too hard to retrain.

What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle?
...A dope ring.

Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
...Because they can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.

What's the definition of eternity?
...4 blondes at a 4-way stop.

What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
...An air pocket.

What do you call a basement full of blondes?
...A whine cellar.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
..."This Goes In Front."

And the best one for last.....

What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
..."Oh, look!! Donut seeds!"

******************************************************

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these
blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she
decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to
paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down
to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on
the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the
same time.He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde
women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and
they said....


FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS :D

[G-Force Glockstar]

Ooh, I get it now :) Thanks!

And funny new ones :lol:


And no, I'm not a blonde :lol: I have light brown hair, but sometimes I wish I had blonde hair, lol. But I wouldn't wanna be called a dumb blonde ;)

[G-Force Glockstar]

I always put way to many smilies in my posts. LOL!

[Pus$y Galore]

I always put way to many smilies in my posts. LOL!


so do I - and exclamation marks!!!!!! :lol: :crazy: ;) :D

[G-Force Glockstar]

so do I - and exclamation marks!!!!!! :lol: :crazy: ;) :D

:lol:

One time a newbie insulted me for using so many smiles cause I'm an older member. But David said it's common for active users to use so many smiles.

That made me feel a little better :lol:

[Brent88]

:rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent

[G-Force Glockstar]

:rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent

:lol:

[Pus$y Galore]

:rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent :rofl: :rotflmao: :brent


You're TOO active Brent88 - Calm Down!!!!! :lol: :crazy:

(This wouldn't let me post the original message - I had TOO MANY smilies in it)! hahahahahahaha!

[globalspot28]

A Blonde's Brain At Work

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

[Jonathan]

I love a good blonde joke.

[Pus$y Galore]

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named
Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

********************************************************

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and
one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther
away..........Florida or the moon?
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida.......?????

********************************************************

here's a double-whammy!

Q.. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

********************************************************
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

Not a natural blonde :gary:

[Superstar]

:lol:

[MsOrange]

A Blonde's Brain At Work

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
:lol:

[Cactus Jack]

A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".

[Cactus Jack]

There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde.

They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, "If you go into the bathroom there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and tell anything in your life that you believe is true. If you are telling the truth then "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out, if you lie then "POOF" you'll disappear."

So the red head goes in first and stares deeply into the mirror and proclaims, "I think that i am the most beautiful woman in the world!", "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.

Then the brunette goes in. "I think that i am the smartest woman in the world," "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.

Now it's the blonde's turn. She slowly walks into the bathroom with her hands over her eyes and peeks between her fingers at the mirror. She waits... nothing happens... she is glad. She stands bravely and states, "I think... "POOF " she disappears.

[Cactus Jack]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna" again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

The blonde opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "he makes his own lunch."

[Cactus Jack]

Day1:

A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,"We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

Mum replies: "yes dear"

Day 2:

"We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

Mum replies: "yes dear"

Day 3:

"We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I'm a 36DD. Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

Mum replies: "No dear, it's because your 25."

[TheGreatPretender]

How do you get a one armed blonde to fall out of a tree?

Wave to it.

[Brent88]

:rofl: :brent :rofl: :brent :rofl: :brent :rofl: :brent

[-*Forever*-]

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said Disneyland - Left, so they turned around and went home.

[Brent88]

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said Disneyland - Left, so they turned around and went home.

:rofl:

[Cactus Jack]

:rofl: :brent :rofl: :brent :rofl: :brent :rofl: :brent
:D :D :D times a feew more of those :D