C Doody
12-17-2004, 12:33 AM
CAST
Adam Collins - Chad Doody
Brad Fulton - TF
Jeff Kimble - EFD
Kim Stevens - Brooke Anne Smith
Walter Munson - William Daniels
GUEST STARS
Rip Watkins - Roger Lodge
William Mills - I Am Roboto
Homeless Man - Roby
Wardrobe Lady - Angela (Lola Dane)
Voice Of Jumbo Jackpot Announcer - Jason Marsden
_____________________________________________________________________________________
*Adam & Brad are shown sitting in the living room. Adam is on the couch and Brad is sitting in the chair when Kim walks In.*
Kim: Hey Adam, Do you have any Blank Tapes? I Wanted to tape Forrest Gump Tonight.
Adam: Sure, Theres a bunch of em in my room.
Kim: Ok, Thanks.
*Kim Walks off.*
Adam: *Laughing Happily* Dude, Shes In My Room!
*Brad rolls his eyes.*
Adam: Ahhhh Forrest Gump....*With Southern Accent* Life is like a box of chocolates, Ya never know what you'e gonna get.
Brad: I Never understood what that even meant.
Adam: I Dont either, But i think it has something to do with Caramel.
*Kim Walks back In.*
Kim: Adam...These tapes already have stuff on them....And why have you been filming me in my sleep?
Adam: Uhhh...Gotta Go!
*Adam gets up and runs out the door as Kim & Brad Look confused.*
(Themesong: "Different People" By No Doubt)
*Brad is shown sitting on the couch Reading the newspaper when Jeff walks In.*
Brad: Hey Brad, Any Luck today?
Jeff: Nope.
Brad: How Hard can it be to find a job?
Jeff: Oh, I've had a ton of jobs over the past few months...Its just that they didnt work out.
Brad: Well, We could check the job section in the paper.
Jeff: May as well.
*Brad picks up the paper and looks in it for a few seconds.*
Brad: Well, The Garbage Man needs an Assistant to help collect the neighborhood trash.
Jeff: THATS UNSANITARY!
Brad: Its the only one available...
Jeff: I'll sell Blood.
*Kim walks in from her room.*
Kim: Jeff...When i walked by your room i spotted One Of my bras inside, Care to tell me why?
Jeff: Hey, I Had NOTHING To do with that! Adams the one that took it....I Just sniffed it....36 times.
Kim: Jeff...That is really disturbing.
Jeff: So? Adam sniffed it 94 Times....Then he started rubbing it against his face....Then he turned off all the lights and...
Kim: OK, Thats Enough.
*Adam Walks In.*
Adam: Guys...I Have great news.
Brad: Let me guess, You saved money on your car insurance?.....AGAIN.
Adam: *Laughs* Cracks me up everytime, But No...This is HUGE News.
Kim: What is it?
Adam: Jumbo Jackpot is coming to town!
Jeff: The Game show where people can win up to Half A Million Dollars?
Adam: Thats The One...And I'm gonna Go in tommorow and apply for it.
Brad: You? Adam, How the heck do YOU Expect to win a Gameshow where they ask you questions, When you dont even know what 2 + 2 is.
Adam: I Do too, Its 5. And I Have a plan...
Brad: I'm Afraid To Ask...But i will anyway. What is your "Plan"?
Adam: I'm just gonna keep repeating the same answer. Its BOUND To be the right answer for one of them!
Brad: That is the most idiotic thing i have ever heard...
Adam: MUST You say that everyday?
Kim: Hey Brad, You're a smart guy...You Oughta go on.
Brad: Nah. I'm not gonna use my gifted brain on some lame Gameshow.
Adam: Dont worry guys, I'll represent us on the show. And even if i dont win...At Least i get to enjoy the delightful Cheese Platters they have in catering.
Brad: Wait a Minute...Cheese Platters?! I Am SO In!
*A Backstage Area is shown as Adam & Brad walk In.*
Adam: Well, Here we are.
Brad: Dont get so excited, Adam. I Highly doubt they'll let you on the show with your lack of knowledge. I'm Not even sure I'LL Get On!
Adam: Dude, Trust me...I Know how gameshows work. They'll totally pick me.
*Just then a man walks up.*
Man: Hey, Guys. You here for the interviews?
Adam: DUDE...ITS RIP WATKINS! HOST OF JUMBO JACKPOT!
Rip: *Laughs* I Sure Am.
Adam: Can I Have your Autograph?
Rip: You got 50 bucks?
Adam: No...
Rip: Then you don't get an autograph! Now, Which one of you wants to be interviewed first.
Adam: You go ahead, Brad. I Need time to prepare.
Brad: Ok.
Rip: Follow Me.
*Rip & Brad are then shown sitting in a small room across from each other in chairs. Rip has a clipboard.*
Rip: Ok, Mr. Fulton...What makes you think you deserve to be on Jumbo Jackpot?
Brad: Well, I Have The Highest IQ In my college, I Was accepted to Harvard but turned it down to go to my Father and Grandfather's Old College, And Receieved Straight A's throughout my entire academic life.
Rip: Pretty Impressive...You're In.
*Brad smiles. Adam is then shown sitting where Brad was.*
Rip: Mr. Collins...What makes you think you deserve to be on Jumbo Jackpot.
Adam: Well I'll be honest with you, Rip...Can I Call you Rip?
Rip: No.
Adam: Ok. I'll be honest with you, Mr. Watkins...I'm Not smart, I Get Terrible Grades, I Was barely able to get into college, And Just 5 minutes ago i realized i was wearing my underwear backwards....BUT..I'm Cute, Charismatic, And Loveable. I'm Just the kind of guy that people LOVE To see on Game shows.
Rip:...You're In.
*Adam Stands up and starts cheering.*
Rip: Yeah...Dont Do That.
Adam: Ok.
*Adam walks off. Kim & Jeff are shown sitting in the apartment when Brad & Adam walk in.*
Jeff: Well?
Adam: We Both made it!
Jeff: Hey...Congratulations, Brad!
Adam: HEY...I Made It Too!
Jeff: Yeah...How?
Adam: Was they're any doubt?
Jeff: Yes
Kim: Yes.
Brad: I Thought A Monkey would get on there before you would.
Adam: Well, I Am. So You Better do your studying pal...Cause its gonna take Alot to beat me!
*Adam walks into his room.*
Brad: I Should just start spending the money now.
*The Set of Jumbo Jackpot is shown as the audience get into their seats. Jeff, Kim, & Mr. Munson are shown sitting down.*
Mr. Munson: I Want to thank you for inviting me along.
Jeff: Wasnt us. Adam & Brad each got 2 tickets to give out. Brad gave his 2 tickets to Us, And Adam gave one of his to you.
Mr. Munson: Who got Adam's second ticket?
Kim: That Homeless Man over there.
*Kim Points To a Hobo sitting next to Mr. Munson.*
Homeless Man: Yeah...Me and Alan go way back.
Jeff: You mean Adam?
Homeless Man: Whatever you wanna call him, Man.
*Mr. Munson is looking down at the stage when the Homeless Man looks at him.*
Homeless Man: I Haven't Bathed In 12 Years.
*Mr. Munson Looks at the Homeless Man uncomfortably, Then Looks at Jeff.*
Mr. Munson: Could we trade seats?
Jeff: Not even if you offered me 6 million dollars.
Kim: Where are Adam & Brad?
Jeff: I Think they said they had to go to wardrobe before the show starts.
*Brad is shown standing in the wardrobe room backstage.*
Wardrobe Lady: So, Anything particular you'd like to wear on tonight's show?
Brad: I'm not too picky. Any Average outfit will do.
Wardrobe Lady: Will A Plaid Green shirt and some jeans work?
Brad: Sounds Great.
Wardrobe Lady: Ok, They'res some in the back. You can change in there.
Brad: Thanks.
*Brad walks into the back room when Adam walks into the Wardrobe room.*
Wardrobe Lady: Hi, I'm Your Wardrobe Designer.
*Brad walks out of the back room.*
Brad: See you on the set, Adam.
*Brad walks Out.*
Wardrobe Lady: Wow, He changes fast.
Adam: Yeah...He believes In Preserving time.
Wardrobe Lady: Anything particular you want to wear tonight?
Adam: Yes...Yes They're is.
Wardrobe Lady; What do you have in mind?
*Adam gets a big smile on his face. The set of Jumbo Jackpot is then shown with Brad behind one podium, Some other guy behind another podium, And One empty podium. The Music then hits as lights flash across the stage.*
Announcer: Welcome to Jumbo Jackpot, The show where you can win up to Half a Million dollars! Now, Heres your Host...Rip Watkins!
*Rip Walks out onto the stage as the Audience Applauds.*
Rip: Thank You, Everybody. And welcome to Jumbo Jackpot!
*Audience Applauds*
Rip: Now, Lets meet our Contestants. First up, From right here in LA, Brad Fulton!
*Audience Applauds*
Rip: Tell us a little about yourself, Brad.
Brad: Well, I Have the highest IQ In my College, I Was accepted to Harvard but turned it down so i could go to The University Of California where My Father and Grandfather went, And I Was a straight A Student throughout my entire Academic Life.
*Audience Applauds*
Rip: Our second contestant...From San Bernadino, California...William Mills!
*Audience Applauds as Jeff & Kim Boo. Mr. Munson Looks at the Homeless man nervously as the Homeless Man licks his own hand.*
Rip: Tell us a little about yourself.
William: Well, Much Like the first contestant i was also accepted to Harvard...Only I Attended and Graduated from it by the time i was 16 years old. I Graduated from High school at 13 as they felt i was far ahead of the Curriculum, And In My Spare time i have dedicated Myself to finding a cure for the common cold...Which I Have 70 % Completed.
Brad: Show Off...
Rip: And Now our third Contestant....Umm....Where is our third contestant?
*Just then lights begin to flash across the stage as the theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey" Plays. Rip, Brad, William and Everyone in the audience Look confused. Adam is then shown walking out of the curtain wearing a gold jump suit, Gold Helmet and Gold Cape.*
Brad: Oh....My....God.
*Adam walks towards the Audience and makes poses as the music continues. He then takes off his cape and tosses it into the Audience as Kim catches it and Adam winks at her. Adam then walks over to his podium and stands on top of it with his hand on his forehead in a type of salute before the Music ends and he gets down, Then sits at his podium. The Audience then gives a HUGE Applause as William's eyes bulge out, Brad Looks at Adam Like hes an idiot, And Rip Looks completely confused.*
Rip: O.....K. Welcome to the show, Adam Collins. Do you wanna tell us a little bit about yourself?
Adam: Sure thing, Rip...Can I Call you Rip?
Rip: No.
Adam: Ok, Mr. Watkins. Well...I Am An 18 year old College Superstud, I Spend my sparetime watching alot of television, And I Live in An Apartment with Contestant One Brad, My Good Friend Jeff, And My Fiance Kim.
Kim: *To Old Lady Sitting next to her In Audience* I'm Not really his Fiance, We're not even dating!
Homeless Man: *Smiles* Does that mean you're Single?
Kim:...Adam & I Are Happily Getting married In May.
Rip: Well, Lets get started. The first question goes to Brad.
*Brad gets ready*
Rip: Brad, How Many Bones are in the Human Hand?
Brad: 27
Rip: Correct. William, Who Invented the Pencil Sharpener?
William: George Washington Carter.
Rip: Correct. Adam, How long did the Civil War last?
Adam: Richard Nixon.
Rip: Uhh...No. Brad, What is the Opposite of Latitude?
Brad: Longitude.
Rip: Correct. William, Who assasinated Former President Abraham Lincoln?
William: John Wilkes Booth.
Rip: Correct. Adam, What is the name of the Pop star whos' First Hit Single was Called "Hit Me Baby One More Time"?
Adam: Richard Nixon.
Rip: No...That is Incorrect. Brad, What is the Key Ingredient In Bananas that every human being needs to properly Function?
Brad: Potassium.
Rip: Correct. William, Who was the first African American to play Professional Baseball?
William: Jackie Robinson.
Rip: Correct. Adam, According to Albert Einstein...E Equals What?
Adam: Richard Nixon.
Rip: NO ITS NOT RICHARD NIXON! TRY AGAIN!
Adam: I'm Allowed to do that?
Rip: JUST DO IT, KID.
Adam: Ohhhhh...."Who IS Richard Nixon?"
*Rip tosses the cards and slaps his hand on his forehead. Later On The Three Contestants are shown at their podiums.*
Rip: And Now in our third round we have Brad with $250,000, William with $300,000, And Adam with....0.
*Adam Smiles and Waves into the camera.*
Rip: *Sighs* Lets get back to it. Brad, What is the Circumference of a circle?
Brad: The distance around it.
Rip: Correct. William, What is the name of the Author that wrote "War & Peace"?
William: Leo Tolstoy.
Rip: Correct. Adam, According To Religion...The first two people on Earth were known as Eve And....
Adam: Uhhhh.....Richard Nixon?
Rip: Adam...How can you POSSIBLY Not know that the guy's name was Adam? Your OWN Name is Adam for crying out Loud!
Adam:....So Was I Right?
Rip: NO!....Brad, What Famous Playwriter wrote "Hamlet"?
Brad: William Shakespeare.
Rip: Correct. William, What Are Electron Microscopes?
William: Electron Microscopes are scientific instruments that use a beam of highly energetic electrons to examine objects on a very fine scale.
Rip: Correct. Adam....*Looks at Card* I Can't Believe it......What is the name of the US President that Resigned from office after The Watergate Scandal?
Adam: Hmmm......
*Adam sits quietly thinking for about 15 seconds.*
Rip: ADAM....ANSWER THE QUESTION.
Adam: I'm Thinking!
Rip: GIVE ME AN ANSWER NOW
Adam: OK OK....I've made a decision.
Rip: And?
Adam: I'd like to phone a friend.
Rip: *Shrugs Angrily* YOU CANT DO THAT ON THIS SHOW....JUST GIVE ME A FREAKIN ANSWER!!!
Adam: Uhhhhh...........Richard Nixon?
Rip: YES! YOU HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN A CORRECT ANSWER!!! However, Due to the subtractions taken from all of the questions you have answered wrong, That Correct answer has given you only one dollar. Now its time for the final round. During this round, The Contestants have a chance to Double their money...However keep in mind they're is a $500,000 Dollar Limit, Therefor that is the highest amount of money you can win and if your money gets higher than that, It will not count. But...If you risk too Much, You can lose alot and only the winner of the game will recieve his cash prize. So if you will please place a wager we will get to The final round!
*Brad, William, & Adam all write down their wages.*
Jeff: I Hope Brad doesnt risk too Much, The final round questions are always REALLY Tough.
Kim: Brad's a Smart guy. I'm Sure he knows what hes doing.
Homeless Man: What do you say we go out for Soup after the show?
Mr. Munson: No...Go Away.
Rip: Ok Then, The wages have been placed. Lets now begin the final round. Brad, How Many of each Animal was rumored to be on Moses's Arc?
Brad: *Laughs* Thats Easy, It Was 2.
Rip: I'm Sorry Brad, But you are incorrect. You see, It was a trick question. They're was 2 of each animal on NOAH's Arc...Moses didnt have an arc.
*Brad Looks angry at himself and Upset*
Rip: Lets see how much you risked....Oh No....You Risked all of it?
Brad: I Thought I Could Win.
Rip: Sorry, Brad. William, How many episodes were there of the hit Sitcom "Threes Company"?
William: How Am I Supposed to know that? I Don't Watch Mindless Television.
Rip: Well Maybe you should, William. Then you might have known the answer. Lets see how much you risked......You risked it all too?
William: I Thought for sure i had this won!
Rip: You Know...If you guys were as smart as you say you were, You wouldnt have risked ALL Of your money considering that both of your sums would go well past $500,000 if doubled. You Should have just risked enough to get to the $500,000 milestone itself.
Brad: Why the HECK Didnt i think of that?
William: How could i have made such a foolish mistake?!
Rip: And Now...Adam, What are Newton's Three Laws of Motion?
Adam: Number one States that Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. Number two states that The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. Acceleration and force are vectors. In this law the direction of the force vector is the same as the direction of the acceleration vector. And finally, His Third law states that For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Audience: WHAAAAAAA?
Adam: I Have NO Idea!
Rip: That is...Correct. Lets see how much you waged......You didnt wage anything?
Adam: Nope. Only a Dope would bet everything.
*Brad & William look at eachother in shock.*
Rip: Then Today's Winner and winner of the Cash prize sum of *Gives Puzzled Look* 1 Dollar...Adam Collins!
Adam: YEEEEEEEEES!
*The Audience Gives A Huge Applause as Adam starts to dance on the stage.*
Adam: I AM THE CHAMPION, I AAAAM THE CHAMPIIIOOON, *Points at Brad & William* NOOOO TIME FOR LOOOOOSERS, CAUSE I AM THE CHAMPIOOOON.......OF THE WOOOOOOORLD!
*Brad & William are both sitting at their podiums looking depressed and embarassed.*
Brad: Unbelieveable...
William: My Harvard Buddies will never let me live this down...
Brad: Oh, Shut Up.
*Brad & William continue looking depressed as Adam bows for the audience and the episode ends.*
*The End credits start to roll down as a split screen appears with the end of the episode. Adam is shown backstage when Rip walks up to him.*
Rip: Adam...That had to be the weirdest show in the history of this show, Possibly even the weirdest in the history of game shows.
Adam: Well, Rip...Can I Call you Rip?
Rip: *Sighs* Sure...Why Not.
Adam: Well Rip, It was fun and a very rewarding experience for me.
*Rip Gives Adam 1 dollar*
Rip: They'res your prize...What are you going to do with it?
Adam: I'M GOING TO DISNEY LAND!
Rip: A Dollar isnt gonna get you into Disney Land, Bud.
Adam: Oh...Then I'm going to Taco Bell.
*Adam Walks off as Rip Looks at him oddly, Suddenly The Garbage Bags start to move as the Homeless Man's head pops out.*
Homeless Man: Did somebody say Taco Bell?
Rip: Thats It...I'm Going back to doing Soap Operas.
*Rip Walks off.*
Adam Collins - Chad Doody
Brad Fulton - TF
Jeff Kimble - EFD
Kim Stevens - Brooke Anne Smith
Walter Munson - William Daniels
GUEST STARS
Rip Watkins - Roger Lodge
William Mills - I Am Roboto
Homeless Man - Roby
Wardrobe Lady - Angela (Lola Dane)
Voice Of Jumbo Jackpot Announcer - Jason Marsden
_____________________________________________________________________________________
*Adam & Brad are shown sitting in the living room. Adam is on the couch and Brad is sitting in the chair when Kim walks In.*
Kim: Hey Adam, Do you have any Blank Tapes? I Wanted to tape Forrest Gump Tonight.
Adam: Sure, Theres a bunch of em in my room.
Kim: Ok, Thanks.
*Kim Walks off.*
Adam: *Laughing Happily* Dude, Shes In My Room!
*Brad rolls his eyes.*
Adam: Ahhhh Forrest Gump....*With Southern Accent* Life is like a box of chocolates, Ya never know what you'e gonna get.
Brad: I Never understood what that even meant.
Adam: I Dont either, But i think it has something to do with Caramel.
*Kim Walks back In.*
Kim: Adam...These tapes already have stuff on them....And why have you been filming me in my sleep?
Adam: Uhhh...Gotta Go!
*Adam gets up and runs out the door as Kim & Brad Look confused.*
(Themesong: "Different People" By No Doubt)
*Brad is shown sitting on the couch Reading the newspaper when Jeff walks In.*
Brad: Hey Brad, Any Luck today?
Jeff: Nope.
Brad: How Hard can it be to find a job?
Jeff: Oh, I've had a ton of jobs over the past few months...Its just that they didnt work out.
Brad: Well, We could check the job section in the paper.
Jeff: May as well.
*Brad picks up the paper and looks in it for a few seconds.*
Brad: Well, The Garbage Man needs an Assistant to help collect the neighborhood trash.
Jeff: THATS UNSANITARY!
Brad: Its the only one available...
Jeff: I'll sell Blood.
*Kim walks in from her room.*
Kim: Jeff...When i walked by your room i spotted One Of my bras inside, Care to tell me why?
Jeff: Hey, I Had NOTHING To do with that! Adams the one that took it....I Just sniffed it....36 times.
Kim: Jeff...That is really disturbing.
Jeff: So? Adam sniffed it 94 Times....Then he started rubbing it against his face....Then he turned off all the lights and...
Kim: OK, Thats Enough.
*Adam Walks In.*
Adam: Guys...I Have great news.
Brad: Let me guess, You saved money on your car insurance?.....AGAIN.
Adam: *Laughs* Cracks me up everytime, But No...This is HUGE News.
Kim: What is it?
Adam: Jumbo Jackpot is coming to town!
Jeff: The Game show where people can win up to Half A Million Dollars?
Adam: Thats The One...And I'm gonna Go in tommorow and apply for it.
Brad: You? Adam, How the heck do YOU Expect to win a Gameshow where they ask you questions, When you dont even know what 2 + 2 is.
Adam: I Do too, Its 5. And I Have a plan...
Brad: I'm Afraid To Ask...But i will anyway. What is your "Plan"?
Adam: I'm just gonna keep repeating the same answer. Its BOUND To be the right answer for one of them!
Brad: That is the most idiotic thing i have ever heard...
Adam: MUST You say that everyday?
Kim: Hey Brad, You're a smart guy...You Oughta go on.
Brad: Nah. I'm not gonna use my gifted brain on some lame Gameshow.
Adam: Dont worry guys, I'll represent us on the show. And even if i dont win...At Least i get to enjoy the delightful Cheese Platters they have in catering.
Brad: Wait a Minute...Cheese Platters?! I Am SO In!
*A Backstage Area is shown as Adam & Brad walk In.*
Adam: Well, Here we are.
Brad: Dont get so excited, Adam. I Highly doubt they'll let you on the show with your lack of knowledge. I'm Not even sure I'LL Get On!
Adam: Dude, Trust me...I Know how gameshows work. They'll totally pick me.
*Just then a man walks up.*
Man: Hey, Guys. You here for the interviews?
Adam: DUDE...ITS RIP WATKINS! HOST OF JUMBO JACKPOT!
Rip: *Laughs* I Sure Am.
Adam: Can I Have your Autograph?
Rip: You got 50 bucks?
Adam: No...
Rip: Then you don't get an autograph! Now, Which one of you wants to be interviewed first.
Adam: You go ahead, Brad. I Need time to prepare.
Brad: Ok.
Rip: Follow Me.
*Rip & Brad are then shown sitting in a small room across from each other in chairs. Rip has a clipboard.*
Rip: Ok, Mr. Fulton...What makes you think you deserve to be on Jumbo Jackpot?
Brad: Well, I Have The Highest IQ In my college, I Was accepted to Harvard but turned it down to go to my Father and Grandfather's Old College, And Receieved Straight A's throughout my entire academic life.
Rip: Pretty Impressive...You're In.
*Brad smiles. Adam is then shown sitting where Brad was.*
Rip: Mr. Collins...What makes you think you deserve to be on Jumbo Jackpot.
Adam: Well I'll be honest with you, Rip...Can I Call you Rip?
Rip: No.
Adam: Ok. I'll be honest with you, Mr. Watkins...I'm Not smart, I Get Terrible Grades, I Was barely able to get into college, And Just 5 minutes ago i realized i was wearing my underwear backwards....BUT..I'm Cute, Charismatic, And Loveable. I'm Just the kind of guy that people LOVE To see on Game shows.
Rip:...You're In.
*Adam Stands up and starts cheering.*
Rip: Yeah...Dont Do That.
Adam: Ok.
*Adam walks off. Kim & Jeff are shown sitting in the apartment when Brad & Adam walk in.*
Jeff: Well?
Adam: We Both made it!
Jeff: Hey...Congratulations, Brad!
Adam: HEY...I Made It Too!
Jeff: Yeah...How?
Adam: Was they're any doubt?
Jeff: Yes
Kim: Yes.
Brad: I Thought A Monkey would get on there before you would.
Adam: Well, I Am. So You Better do your studying pal...Cause its gonna take Alot to beat me!
*Adam walks into his room.*
Brad: I Should just start spending the money now.
*The Set of Jumbo Jackpot is shown as the audience get into their seats. Jeff, Kim, & Mr. Munson are shown sitting down.*
Mr. Munson: I Want to thank you for inviting me along.
Jeff: Wasnt us. Adam & Brad each got 2 tickets to give out. Brad gave his 2 tickets to Us, And Adam gave one of his to you.
Mr. Munson: Who got Adam's second ticket?
Kim: That Homeless Man over there.
*Kim Points To a Hobo sitting next to Mr. Munson.*
Homeless Man: Yeah...Me and Alan go way back.
Jeff: You mean Adam?
Homeless Man: Whatever you wanna call him, Man.
*Mr. Munson is looking down at the stage when the Homeless Man looks at him.*
Homeless Man: I Haven't Bathed In 12 Years.
*Mr. Munson Looks at the Homeless Man uncomfortably, Then Looks at Jeff.*
Mr. Munson: Could we trade seats?
Jeff: Not even if you offered me 6 million dollars.
Kim: Where are Adam & Brad?
Jeff: I Think they said they had to go to wardrobe before the show starts.
*Brad is shown standing in the wardrobe room backstage.*
Wardrobe Lady: So, Anything particular you'd like to wear on tonight's show?
Brad: I'm not too picky. Any Average outfit will do.
Wardrobe Lady: Will A Plaid Green shirt and some jeans work?
Brad: Sounds Great.
Wardrobe Lady: Ok, They'res some in the back. You can change in there.
Brad: Thanks.
*Brad walks into the back room when Adam walks into the Wardrobe room.*
Wardrobe Lady: Hi, I'm Your Wardrobe Designer.
*Brad walks out of the back room.*
Brad: See you on the set, Adam.
*Brad walks Out.*
Wardrobe Lady: Wow, He changes fast.
Adam: Yeah...He believes In Preserving time.
Wardrobe Lady: Anything particular you want to wear tonight?
Adam: Yes...Yes They're is.
Wardrobe Lady; What do you have in mind?
*Adam gets a big smile on his face. The set of Jumbo Jackpot is then shown with Brad behind one podium, Some other guy behind another podium, And One empty podium. The Music then hits as lights flash across the stage.*
Announcer: Welcome to Jumbo Jackpot, The show where you can win up to Half a Million dollars! Now, Heres your Host...Rip Watkins!
*Rip Walks out onto the stage as the Audience Applauds.*
Rip: Thank You, Everybody. And welcome to Jumbo Jackpot!
*Audience Applauds*
Rip: Now, Lets meet our Contestants. First up, From right here in LA, Brad Fulton!
*Audience Applauds*
Rip: Tell us a little about yourself, Brad.
Brad: Well, I Have the highest IQ In my College, I Was accepted to Harvard but turned it down so i could go to The University Of California where My Father and Grandfather went, And I Was a straight A Student throughout my entire Academic Life.
*Audience Applauds*
Rip: Our second contestant...From San Bernadino, California...William Mills!
*Audience Applauds as Jeff & Kim Boo. Mr. Munson Looks at the Homeless man nervously as the Homeless Man licks his own hand.*
Rip: Tell us a little about yourself.
William: Well, Much Like the first contestant i was also accepted to Harvard...Only I Attended and Graduated from it by the time i was 16 years old. I Graduated from High school at 13 as they felt i was far ahead of the Curriculum, And In My Spare time i have dedicated Myself to finding a cure for the common cold...Which I Have 70 % Completed.
Brad: Show Off...
Rip: And Now our third Contestant....Umm....Where is our third contestant?
*Just then lights begin to flash across the stage as the theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey" Plays. Rip, Brad, William and Everyone in the audience Look confused. Adam is then shown walking out of the curtain wearing a gold jump suit, Gold Helmet and Gold Cape.*
Brad: Oh....My....God.
*Adam walks towards the Audience and makes poses as the music continues. He then takes off his cape and tosses it into the Audience as Kim catches it and Adam winks at her. Adam then walks over to his podium and stands on top of it with his hand on his forehead in a type of salute before the Music ends and he gets down, Then sits at his podium. The Audience then gives a HUGE Applause as William's eyes bulge out, Brad Looks at Adam Like hes an idiot, And Rip Looks completely confused.*
Rip: O.....K. Welcome to the show, Adam Collins. Do you wanna tell us a little bit about yourself?
Adam: Sure thing, Rip...Can I Call you Rip?
Rip: No.
Adam: Ok, Mr. Watkins. Well...I Am An 18 year old College Superstud, I Spend my sparetime watching alot of television, And I Live in An Apartment with Contestant One Brad, My Good Friend Jeff, And My Fiance Kim.
Kim: *To Old Lady Sitting next to her In Audience* I'm Not really his Fiance, We're not even dating!
Homeless Man: *Smiles* Does that mean you're Single?
Kim:...Adam & I Are Happily Getting married In May.
Rip: Well, Lets get started. The first question goes to Brad.
*Brad gets ready*
Rip: Brad, How Many Bones are in the Human Hand?
Brad: 27
Rip: Correct. William, Who Invented the Pencil Sharpener?
William: George Washington Carter.
Rip: Correct. Adam, How long did the Civil War last?
Adam: Richard Nixon.
Rip: Uhh...No. Brad, What is the Opposite of Latitude?
Brad: Longitude.
Rip: Correct. William, Who assasinated Former President Abraham Lincoln?
William: John Wilkes Booth.
Rip: Correct. Adam, What is the name of the Pop star whos' First Hit Single was Called "Hit Me Baby One More Time"?
Adam: Richard Nixon.
Rip: No...That is Incorrect. Brad, What is the Key Ingredient In Bananas that every human being needs to properly Function?
Brad: Potassium.
Rip: Correct. William, Who was the first African American to play Professional Baseball?
William: Jackie Robinson.
Rip: Correct. Adam, According to Albert Einstein...E Equals What?
Adam: Richard Nixon.
Rip: NO ITS NOT RICHARD NIXON! TRY AGAIN!
Adam: I'm Allowed to do that?
Rip: JUST DO IT, KID.
Adam: Ohhhhh...."Who IS Richard Nixon?"
*Rip tosses the cards and slaps his hand on his forehead. Later On The Three Contestants are shown at their podiums.*
Rip: And Now in our third round we have Brad with $250,000, William with $300,000, And Adam with....0.
*Adam Smiles and Waves into the camera.*
Rip: *Sighs* Lets get back to it. Brad, What is the Circumference of a circle?
Brad: The distance around it.
Rip: Correct. William, What is the name of the Author that wrote "War & Peace"?
William: Leo Tolstoy.
Rip: Correct. Adam, According To Religion...The first two people on Earth were known as Eve And....
Adam: Uhhhh.....Richard Nixon?
Rip: Adam...How can you POSSIBLY Not know that the guy's name was Adam? Your OWN Name is Adam for crying out Loud!
Adam:....So Was I Right?
Rip: NO!....Brad, What Famous Playwriter wrote "Hamlet"?
Brad: William Shakespeare.
Rip: Correct. William, What Are Electron Microscopes?
William: Electron Microscopes are scientific instruments that use a beam of highly energetic electrons to examine objects on a very fine scale.
Rip: Correct. Adam....*Looks at Card* I Can't Believe it......What is the name of the US President that Resigned from office after The Watergate Scandal?
Adam: Hmmm......
*Adam sits quietly thinking for about 15 seconds.*
Rip: ADAM....ANSWER THE QUESTION.
Adam: I'm Thinking!
Rip: GIVE ME AN ANSWER NOW
Adam: OK OK....I've made a decision.
Rip: And?
Adam: I'd like to phone a friend.
Rip: *Shrugs Angrily* YOU CANT DO THAT ON THIS SHOW....JUST GIVE ME A FREAKIN ANSWER!!!
Adam: Uhhhhh...........Richard Nixon?
Rip: YES! YOU HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN A CORRECT ANSWER!!! However, Due to the subtractions taken from all of the questions you have answered wrong, That Correct answer has given you only one dollar. Now its time for the final round. During this round, The Contestants have a chance to Double their money...However keep in mind they're is a $500,000 Dollar Limit, Therefor that is the highest amount of money you can win and if your money gets higher than that, It will not count. But...If you risk too Much, You can lose alot and only the winner of the game will recieve his cash prize. So if you will please place a wager we will get to The final round!
*Brad, William, & Adam all write down their wages.*
Jeff: I Hope Brad doesnt risk too Much, The final round questions are always REALLY Tough.
Kim: Brad's a Smart guy. I'm Sure he knows what hes doing.
Homeless Man: What do you say we go out for Soup after the show?
Mr. Munson: No...Go Away.
Rip: Ok Then, The wages have been placed. Lets now begin the final round. Brad, How Many of each Animal was rumored to be on Moses's Arc?
Brad: *Laughs* Thats Easy, It Was 2.
Rip: I'm Sorry Brad, But you are incorrect. You see, It was a trick question. They're was 2 of each animal on NOAH's Arc...Moses didnt have an arc.
*Brad Looks angry at himself and Upset*
Rip: Lets see how much you risked....Oh No....You Risked all of it?
Brad: I Thought I Could Win.
Rip: Sorry, Brad. William, How many episodes were there of the hit Sitcom "Threes Company"?
William: How Am I Supposed to know that? I Don't Watch Mindless Television.
Rip: Well Maybe you should, William. Then you might have known the answer. Lets see how much you risked......You risked it all too?
William: I Thought for sure i had this won!
Rip: You Know...If you guys were as smart as you say you were, You wouldnt have risked ALL Of your money considering that both of your sums would go well past $500,000 if doubled. You Should have just risked enough to get to the $500,000 milestone itself.
Brad: Why the HECK Didnt i think of that?
William: How could i have made such a foolish mistake?!
Rip: And Now...Adam, What are Newton's Three Laws of Motion?
Adam: Number one States that Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. Number two states that The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F = ma. Acceleration and force are vectors. In this law the direction of the force vector is the same as the direction of the acceleration vector. And finally, His Third law states that For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Audience: WHAAAAAAA?
Adam: I Have NO Idea!
Rip: That is...Correct. Lets see how much you waged......You didnt wage anything?
Adam: Nope. Only a Dope would bet everything.
*Brad & William look at eachother in shock.*
Rip: Then Today's Winner and winner of the Cash prize sum of *Gives Puzzled Look* 1 Dollar...Adam Collins!
Adam: YEEEEEEEEES!
*The Audience Gives A Huge Applause as Adam starts to dance on the stage.*
Adam: I AM THE CHAMPION, I AAAAM THE CHAMPIIIOOON, *Points at Brad & William* NOOOO TIME FOR LOOOOOSERS, CAUSE I AM THE CHAMPIOOOON.......OF THE WOOOOOOORLD!
*Brad & William are both sitting at their podiums looking depressed and embarassed.*
Brad: Unbelieveable...
William: My Harvard Buddies will never let me live this down...
Brad: Oh, Shut Up.
*Brad & William continue looking depressed as Adam bows for the audience and the episode ends.*
*The End credits start to roll down as a split screen appears with the end of the episode. Adam is shown backstage when Rip walks up to him.*
Rip: Adam...That had to be the weirdest show in the history of this show, Possibly even the weirdest in the history of game shows.
Adam: Well, Rip...Can I Call you Rip?
Rip: *Sighs* Sure...Why Not.
Adam: Well Rip, It was fun and a very rewarding experience for me.
*Rip Gives Adam 1 dollar*
Rip: They'res your prize...What are you going to do with it?
Adam: I'M GOING TO DISNEY LAND!
Rip: A Dollar isnt gonna get you into Disney Land, Bud.
Adam: Oh...Then I'm going to Taco Bell.
*Adam Walks off as Rip Looks at him oddly, Suddenly The Garbage Bags start to move as the Homeless Man's head pops out.*
Homeless Man: Did somebody say Taco Bell?
Rip: Thats It...I'm Going back to doing Soap Operas.
*Rip Walks off.*