Cactus Jack
10-22-2004, 09:40 PM
Cast:
Bob Fallon - Steve Carrell
Emily Fallon - Amy Poehler
Adam Fallon - Jack Wilson
Katie Fallon - Zoie ( Zuzzy )
Sonjay Mazolla - Raja Fenske
Luke Sanders - Michael ( Avril's Sk8er Boi )
Paul Klein - Stephen Colbert
Kim Klein - Tina Fey
Ron Fallon - Will Ferrell
Guest star
Cate Henderson - Haylie Duff
Cheryl Henderson - Kaley Cuoco
________________________________________________________________
*Emily is shown in the kitchen washing dishes when Bob walks In*
Bob: Honey, I'm home.
*Emily starts to cry*
Bob: Oh Honey, Not again...
Emily: Well how am i SUPPOSED To feel? Eric Graduated early and went off to College in New York, Ben moved to Indonesia...
Bob: He didnt actually MOVE To Indonesia, Honey. Hes just staying there.....Until he graduates High school.
Emily: Thats 6 years away!
Bob: He'll Call! Besides....In his place we got the Indonesian Kid.
Emily: Sonjay
Bob: What?
Emily: The boy's name is Sonjay.
Bob: I'm Telling you, Honey. The foreign exchange program is a very reliable program. Besides, Ben WANTED To go.
Emily: Well, I Wish we would have had moe of a chance to talk before you let him go. We're in an equal relationship, And we should make important decisions together!
Bob: You're absolutely right....From now on you can handle all the decisions, While i sit in my underwear all day and drink beer.
Emily: No need to be sarcastic.
Bob: I Wasnt Being sarcastic....I Really wanna do that.
*Adam walks In looking sad*
Emily: Whats wrong, Honey?
Adam: My best friend Jeff moved away.
Emily: Sorry, Honey.
Bob: Tough break, Kid. But look at it this way....Pretty soon you'll be wanting to spend all your time with girls. Trust me, A Best friend only gets in the way.
Adam: But Paul & Ron are your best friends.
Bob: Ron is my brother, I Have to like him. And I Work with him and Paul...Its important to have a good relationship with your co workers.
*Paul walks In*
Paul: Heya, Bob.
Bob: *Angrily* WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Paul: I Just wanted to see if you felt like a game of pool....
Bob: *Smiles* Kim let you get the pool table?
Paul: No...But i got it anyway!
*Bob & Paul laugh and high five each other*
Bob: I'll be back in awhile, Babe.
Emily: Bob, We're in the middle of a conversation here!
Bob: And we'll finish it when i get home!
*Bob and Paul walk out as Sonjay & Luke walk in*
Sonjay: Hello, Mrs. Fallon.
Emily: Hi, Sonjay. How was school?
Sonjay: Very interesting. When the day started, Our teacher grabbed her chest and i thought that she was having a heart attack.
Emily: Oh My God....Is she ok?
Luke: She was doing the Pledge of Allegiance....
*Emily laughs as Sonjay Looks confused*
Sonjay: I Am sorry, I Am still getting used to this culture. Thank you for helping me.
Luke: Dont worry about it, Sonjay. With Ben gone, I Gotta hang around with someone.
*Katie walks in*
Luke: *Grins* Hey, Katie. How are you?
Katie: Pretty good. A Little cold.
Luke: I Can warm you up *Makes eyebrows go up and down*
Katie: *Disgusted* Yeah....I'm really interested in an 11 year old twirp who's Mom still tucks him in at night.
*Katie walks up stairs.*
Luke: *Yelling* I'm 12....And My mom hasnt tucked me in for months......Do you want to?
*Katie disgustingly goes faster up the stairs*
Luke: Yeah....She digs me.
Sonjay: So you are saying that in America, If a girl is disgusted by you and ignores you....She has romantic feelings for you?
Emily: Pretty Much, Look at me and Bob.
*Emily walks into the other room as Luke laughs and Sonjay thinks*
Adam: That reminds me....Jeff and i were supposed to double this week with Cate and her sister Cheryl, And he moved.
Luke: Which one was yours?
Adam: Cheryl.
Luke: *Trying To Trick Adam* Well.....I Guess i'll just have to make the sacrifice of going out with Cate, Then. Anything for a great guy like you.
Adam: Nice try, But shes not gonna wanna go out with an 11 year old.
Luke: I'm 12!
*Adam Looks at Sonjay*
Adam: Sonjay....How old are you?
Sonjay: 13
Adam: You Look alot older....You could probably pass for at least 15.
Sonjay: I Could?
Adam: Yeah...Which is exactly how old Cate is going to think you are.
Sonjay: Uhhh....I Have to go do homework now.
*Sonjay runs towards the stairs but Adam stops him.*
Adam: Please Sonjay....You're my only hope.
Sonjay: I Dont know, Adam....I Am not very good with girls.
Adam: Neither am I, But after years of watching Eric...I Gotta have SOME Idea of how to do it. You just have to let me do all the talking.
Sonjay: Adam, Dont make me do this...
Adam: Sonjay, Dont forget my family is nice enough to let you live here so you can stay in the United States.....This is the LEAST You could do.
Sonjay: Ok, Ok.
Adam: Great! Its this Saturday.
*Adam walks up stairs as Sonjay looks nervous*
Sonjay: I Dont have any idea how to get through with this....I Barely even know any of America's cultures yet.
Luke: We dont have any culture, Sonjay...We just.......Do Whatever. In a way its like we all have our own culture.
Sonjay: Very Interesting.
Luke: Well, I Better get home before Baywatch starts.
Sonjay: What is this "Baywatch"?.....Part of American Culture?
Luke: Definitely part of American Men's culture.
Sonjay: Can i come?
Luke: Trust me Sonjay....You dont want to be in the same room as me when i watch Baywatch.
*Luke walks out as Sonjay looks confused. Later on Bob is shown walking in.*
Emily: Bob, You missed Dinner!
Bob: Thats Ok, Hun...Paul and me ordered pizzas.
Emily: You Know, We never did finish our discussion earlier about an EQUAL Relationship.
Bob: Lets talk about it tommorow, I'm Exhausted.
*Bob Kisses Emily on the cheek and walks up to bed as Emily looks angry. Then theres a knock on the door as Emily answers and Kim walks In.*
Emily: Hey, Kim.
Kim: *Angrily* That husband of mine really ticks me off.
Emily: What Happened?
Kim: He went off and bought a pool table without asking me, AND He put the monstrocity in the middle of the living room!
Emily: That is just like a man. They just think they can do anything and we wont care.
Kim: *Rolls Eyes* Like Fart anytime they want as long as theres no company.
Emily: At least yours doesnt do it around Company.
*Kim Laughs*
Emily: You know what?.....I Say we get even.
Kim: How?
Emily: If they're not gonna consult us about decisions they make.....Then we wont consult them about decisions WE Make!
*Emily and Kim look at each other and smile. Adam is then shown in a suit at the bottom of the stairs.*
Adam: *Yeling Up* HEY SONJAY, LETS GO.
*Sonjay walks down wearing a pink suit.*
Sonjay: How do i look?
Adam: Uhhhhh Fruitylicious.
Sonjay: Fruit? You mean like a Bannana?
Adam: WHY The pink, Sonjay?
Sonjay: I Thought it looked rather stylish myself.
Adam: Listen Sonjay, I Dont know about Indonesia...But here in America, Boys dont wear pink!
Sonjay: But why?
Adam: We just dont...Its like an unwritten rule.
Sonjay: I Do Not wish to break any rules...I Will go change.
Adam: *Sighs* Theres no time for that, The girls are waiting.
*Adam grabs Sonjay and runs out. Bob then walks In.*
Bob: *Yelling* I'M HOME!
*Emily walks in wearing a fur coat*
Emily: Good evening, Honey.
Bob: How Much?...
Emily: Do i love you? Ohhhh i love you alot.
Bob: How much is the coat?
Emily: Ohhhh Just 500 dollars.
Bob: 500 BUCKS?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE TO WORK TO GET 500 BUCKS?!
Emily: You dont have to consult me about decisions, Why should i have to consult you?
Bob: Alright Alright, Point taken......I'll consult with you on big decisions from now on.
Emily: Good.
Bob: So you'll take the coat back tommorow?
Emily: Hmmmm.....Nah.
*Emily laughs and runs into the living room.*
Bob: THAT COAT IS GOING BACK, EMILY....
*Bob runs in the living room after her. The dance is then shown as Adam & Cheryl dance. Sonjay & Cate are sitting against the wall bored.*
Cate: So whats with the pink suit?
Sonjay: I Am sorry i have offended your culture.
Cate: Huh?
Sonjay: Uhhhh I Enjoy "Baywatch".
Cate: *Laughing* Thats good to know. That David Hasselhoff was quite a hunk in his time.
Sonjay: Who is this....."David Hasselhoff"?
Cate: *Jokingly* Our almighty ruler.
*Cate Laughs as Sonjay looks confused.*
Cate: So....Do you wanna make out?
Sonjay: Make what out?
*Cate kisses Sonjay*
Sonjay: *Smiles* American girls.....I Have been missing out all these years.
*Sonjay and Cate continue kissing. Later on Sonjay is shown in his room bowing to a poster on the wall of David Hasselhoff as Knight Rider. Just then Katie walks In.*
Katie: Uhhhh Sonjay....What are you doing?
Sonjay: Bowing to the almighty ruler of America.
Katie: *Laughs* David Hasselhoff?
Sonjay: *Bows* OHHHHH MIGHTY HASSELHOFF!
Katie: Sonjay...You dont have to bow to anyone here in the states....
Sonjay: Not even David Hasselhoff?
Katie: *Laughs* Not even David Hasselhoff.
Sonjay: Ok....
*Katie walks out as Sonjay looks around, Then starts to bow again.*
Sonjay: OHHHHH MIGHTY HASSELHOFF!
__________________
Bob Fallon - Steve Carrell
Emily Fallon - Amy Poehler
Adam Fallon - Jack Wilson
Katie Fallon - Zoie ( Zuzzy )
Sonjay Mazolla - Raja Fenske
Luke Sanders - Michael ( Avril's Sk8er Boi )
Paul Klein - Stephen Colbert
Kim Klein - Tina Fey
Ron Fallon - Will Ferrell
Guest star
Cate Henderson - Haylie Duff
Cheryl Henderson - Kaley Cuoco
________________________________________________________________
*Emily is shown in the kitchen washing dishes when Bob walks In*
Bob: Honey, I'm home.
*Emily starts to cry*
Bob: Oh Honey, Not again...
Emily: Well how am i SUPPOSED To feel? Eric Graduated early and went off to College in New York, Ben moved to Indonesia...
Bob: He didnt actually MOVE To Indonesia, Honey. Hes just staying there.....Until he graduates High school.
Emily: Thats 6 years away!
Bob: He'll Call! Besides....In his place we got the Indonesian Kid.
Emily: Sonjay
Bob: What?
Emily: The boy's name is Sonjay.
Bob: I'm Telling you, Honey. The foreign exchange program is a very reliable program. Besides, Ben WANTED To go.
Emily: Well, I Wish we would have had moe of a chance to talk before you let him go. We're in an equal relationship, And we should make important decisions together!
Bob: You're absolutely right....From now on you can handle all the decisions, While i sit in my underwear all day and drink beer.
Emily: No need to be sarcastic.
Bob: I Wasnt Being sarcastic....I Really wanna do that.
*Adam walks In looking sad*
Emily: Whats wrong, Honey?
Adam: My best friend Jeff moved away.
Emily: Sorry, Honey.
Bob: Tough break, Kid. But look at it this way....Pretty soon you'll be wanting to spend all your time with girls. Trust me, A Best friend only gets in the way.
Adam: But Paul & Ron are your best friends.
Bob: Ron is my brother, I Have to like him. And I Work with him and Paul...Its important to have a good relationship with your co workers.
*Paul walks In*
Paul: Heya, Bob.
Bob: *Angrily* WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Paul: I Just wanted to see if you felt like a game of pool....
Bob: *Smiles* Kim let you get the pool table?
Paul: No...But i got it anyway!
*Bob & Paul laugh and high five each other*
Bob: I'll be back in awhile, Babe.
Emily: Bob, We're in the middle of a conversation here!
Bob: And we'll finish it when i get home!
*Bob and Paul walk out as Sonjay & Luke walk in*
Sonjay: Hello, Mrs. Fallon.
Emily: Hi, Sonjay. How was school?
Sonjay: Very interesting. When the day started, Our teacher grabbed her chest and i thought that she was having a heart attack.
Emily: Oh My God....Is she ok?
Luke: She was doing the Pledge of Allegiance....
*Emily laughs as Sonjay Looks confused*
Sonjay: I Am sorry, I Am still getting used to this culture. Thank you for helping me.
Luke: Dont worry about it, Sonjay. With Ben gone, I Gotta hang around with someone.
*Katie walks in*
Luke: *Grins* Hey, Katie. How are you?
Katie: Pretty good. A Little cold.
Luke: I Can warm you up *Makes eyebrows go up and down*
Katie: *Disgusted* Yeah....I'm really interested in an 11 year old twirp who's Mom still tucks him in at night.
*Katie walks up stairs.*
Luke: *Yelling* I'm 12....And My mom hasnt tucked me in for months......Do you want to?
*Katie disgustingly goes faster up the stairs*
Luke: Yeah....She digs me.
Sonjay: So you are saying that in America, If a girl is disgusted by you and ignores you....She has romantic feelings for you?
Emily: Pretty Much, Look at me and Bob.
*Emily walks into the other room as Luke laughs and Sonjay thinks*
Adam: That reminds me....Jeff and i were supposed to double this week with Cate and her sister Cheryl, And he moved.
Luke: Which one was yours?
Adam: Cheryl.
Luke: *Trying To Trick Adam* Well.....I Guess i'll just have to make the sacrifice of going out with Cate, Then. Anything for a great guy like you.
Adam: Nice try, But shes not gonna wanna go out with an 11 year old.
Luke: I'm 12!
*Adam Looks at Sonjay*
Adam: Sonjay....How old are you?
Sonjay: 13
Adam: You Look alot older....You could probably pass for at least 15.
Sonjay: I Could?
Adam: Yeah...Which is exactly how old Cate is going to think you are.
Sonjay: Uhhh....I Have to go do homework now.
*Sonjay runs towards the stairs but Adam stops him.*
Adam: Please Sonjay....You're my only hope.
Sonjay: I Dont know, Adam....I Am not very good with girls.
Adam: Neither am I, But after years of watching Eric...I Gotta have SOME Idea of how to do it. You just have to let me do all the talking.
Sonjay: Adam, Dont make me do this...
Adam: Sonjay, Dont forget my family is nice enough to let you live here so you can stay in the United States.....This is the LEAST You could do.
Sonjay: Ok, Ok.
Adam: Great! Its this Saturday.
*Adam walks up stairs as Sonjay looks nervous*
Sonjay: I Dont have any idea how to get through with this....I Barely even know any of America's cultures yet.
Luke: We dont have any culture, Sonjay...We just.......Do Whatever. In a way its like we all have our own culture.
Sonjay: Very Interesting.
Luke: Well, I Better get home before Baywatch starts.
Sonjay: What is this "Baywatch"?.....Part of American Culture?
Luke: Definitely part of American Men's culture.
Sonjay: Can i come?
Luke: Trust me Sonjay....You dont want to be in the same room as me when i watch Baywatch.
*Luke walks out as Sonjay looks confused. Later on Bob is shown walking in.*
Emily: Bob, You missed Dinner!
Bob: Thats Ok, Hun...Paul and me ordered pizzas.
Emily: You Know, We never did finish our discussion earlier about an EQUAL Relationship.
Bob: Lets talk about it tommorow, I'm Exhausted.
*Bob Kisses Emily on the cheek and walks up to bed as Emily looks angry. Then theres a knock on the door as Emily answers and Kim walks In.*
Emily: Hey, Kim.
Kim: *Angrily* That husband of mine really ticks me off.
Emily: What Happened?
Kim: He went off and bought a pool table without asking me, AND He put the monstrocity in the middle of the living room!
Emily: That is just like a man. They just think they can do anything and we wont care.
Kim: *Rolls Eyes* Like Fart anytime they want as long as theres no company.
Emily: At least yours doesnt do it around Company.
*Kim Laughs*
Emily: You know what?.....I Say we get even.
Kim: How?
Emily: If they're not gonna consult us about decisions they make.....Then we wont consult them about decisions WE Make!
*Emily and Kim look at each other and smile. Adam is then shown in a suit at the bottom of the stairs.*
Adam: *Yeling Up* HEY SONJAY, LETS GO.
*Sonjay walks down wearing a pink suit.*
Sonjay: How do i look?
Adam: Uhhhhh Fruitylicious.
Sonjay: Fruit? You mean like a Bannana?
Adam: WHY The pink, Sonjay?
Sonjay: I Thought it looked rather stylish myself.
Adam: Listen Sonjay, I Dont know about Indonesia...But here in America, Boys dont wear pink!
Sonjay: But why?
Adam: We just dont...Its like an unwritten rule.
Sonjay: I Do Not wish to break any rules...I Will go change.
Adam: *Sighs* Theres no time for that, The girls are waiting.
*Adam grabs Sonjay and runs out. Bob then walks In.*
Bob: *Yelling* I'M HOME!
*Emily walks in wearing a fur coat*
Emily: Good evening, Honey.
Bob: How Much?...
Emily: Do i love you? Ohhhh i love you alot.
Bob: How much is the coat?
Emily: Ohhhh Just 500 dollars.
Bob: 500 BUCKS?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE TO WORK TO GET 500 BUCKS?!
Emily: You dont have to consult me about decisions, Why should i have to consult you?
Bob: Alright Alright, Point taken......I'll consult with you on big decisions from now on.
Emily: Good.
Bob: So you'll take the coat back tommorow?
Emily: Hmmmm.....Nah.
*Emily laughs and runs into the living room.*
Bob: THAT COAT IS GOING BACK, EMILY....
*Bob runs in the living room after her. The dance is then shown as Adam & Cheryl dance. Sonjay & Cate are sitting against the wall bored.*
Cate: So whats with the pink suit?
Sonjay: I Am sorry i have offended your culture.
Cate: Huh?
Sonjay: Uhhhh I Enjoy "Baywatch".
Cate: *Laughing* Thats good to know. That David Hasselhoff was quite a hunk in his time.
Sonjay: Who is this....."David Hasselhoff"?
Cate: *Jokingly* Our almighty ruler.
*Cate Laughs as Sonjay looks confused.*
Cate: So....Do you wanna make out?
Sonjay: Make what out?
*Cate kisses Sonjay*
Sonjay: *Smiles* American girls.....I Have been missing out all these years.
*Sonjay and Cate continue kissing. Later on Sonjay is shown in his room bowing to a poster on the wall of David Hasselhoff as Knight Rider. Just then Katie walks In.*
Katie: Uhhhh Sonjay....What are you doing?
Sonjay: Bowing to the almighty ruler of America.
Katie: *Laughs* David Hasselhoff?
Sonjay: *Bows* OHHHHH MIGHTY HASSELHOFF!
Katie: Sonjay...You dont have to bow to anyone here in the states....
Sonjay: Not even David Hasselhoff?
Katie: *Laughs* Not even David Hasselhoff.
Sonjay: Ok....
*Katie walks out as Sonjay looks around, Then starts to bow again.*
Sonjay: OHHHHH MIGHTY HASSELHOFF!
__________________