worried my friend's going to change

[Dean Winchester]

one of my best friends now suddenly has a great job, but I am dreading that he's going to change and become unrecognizable.

I am afraid he's going to become a snob and decide he's too sophisticated for everything he's been about for his 25 years so far. What he's doing is not a career job, but something that a 25 year old in his situation can only dream of, and I am so afraid that if he stays there too long, it's going to rob him of the personality that myself and plenty other of his friends loved so much about him. He's always been funloving, laid-back and casual and I just dread that if he stays too long, everything about him is going to change and he'll become a snob and suddenly decide he's too good for his friends and the person he used to be. I am so afraid he's going to become a "sophisticated" type and will change everything about himself.

Is this worry unfounded? Can you balance a decent job and still not lose your identity in the process?

[consentida]

People change. It's part of life. You can't stop it from happening. But if your friend has a good support system, such as you and his other friends, to keep him grounded then, in my opinion there's nothing to worry about. If you're that worried, then you need to talk to him. It's not going to do you or him any good if you don't tell him how you're feeling. I think that feelings like that need to be expressed so that the situation can be handled and understood properly.

And to answer your question: I do believe it's possible to balance a decent job and not lose your identity. You have to know who you are and be strong enough to continue to be that person. So, yeah, I believe that it's possible.

[dawsongirl]

I don't doubt that he'll change a little. Major life events always change people somewhat. But if he's had this personality all his life, I bet it will still be with him.

Just from personal experience, all the things I've gone thru have changed certain things about me, but deep down, I stiil have the same sense of humor, same sense of friendship, if you wanna call it that. So maybe he'll stay the same friend he's always been.

[robyrob]

give him an unreasonable amount of crap for the first sign of any attitude he shows

if that doesn't work, set his car on fire.

(or something else drastic to get the point across that his becoming an a-hole is completely unacceptable)

[I am Him]

So whats the problem?

[Dean Winchester]

Originally posted by robyrob
give him an unreasonable amount of crap for the first sign of any attitude he shows

if that doesn't work, set his car on fire.

(or something else drastic to get the point across that his becoming an a-hole is completely unacceptable)

ROFL

[Dean Winchester]

Originally posted by I am Him
So whats the problem?

because the person I dread he'd become is 100% different than the person he's always been.

[I am Him]

Originally posted by BuffySlayer79
because the person I dread he'd become is 100% different than the person he's always been.

Well when people move up in the world, they have to change and move on. Its part of life.

[HappinessIs]

Trust in your friendship and communicate! If you have worries, tell you friend. Your friendship will only grow stronger. Good luck! :)

[TheGreatPretender]

You can't stop him from changing so don't worry about it.

[Dean Winchester]

I think I was being a little worried, from talking to him (I didn't point blank ask) I think he'll never sell himself out, he'll always be himself but when he must work, he'll do what he has to do... but he'll never compromise his beliefs and way of life to sell out and be snooty and stuck-up and trendy.

[Kay Scarpetta]

welp... people change. you can't really do anything about it... it's life.

[Dean Winchester]

my friend is not going to change, he told me so. He said he wants me and any of his other friends to hit him if he ever even attempts to change into that type.

[Brian]

This reminds me of something my high school coach and P.E. teacher told me. Whenever you worry about something you feel might happen, most of the time it won't. This couldn't be any more right. It taught me to quit wasting energy getting nervous about something or worry about how someone feels about me. I could understand your situation, even though I have had little experience, having very few friends outside of SO. But I know a lot about friendships and stuff because even out of that small of experience, I learned a lot.

Great to hear the outcome.

[Dean Winchester]

Originally posted by Brian
This reminds me of something my high school coach and P.E. teacher told me. Whenever you worry about something you feel might happen, most of the time it won't. This couldn't be any more right. It taught me to quit wasting energy getting nervous about something or worry about how someone feels about me. I could understand your situation, even though I have had little experience, having very few friends outside of SO. But I know a lot about friendships and stuff because even out of that small of experience, I learned a lot.

Great to hear the outcome.

thanks, I think I was worried because I've seen instances in the past over someone getting a good job... they transfer into a "sophisticate", aka, they begin to think they're better than everybody, they suddenly change the way they look and dress (i.e., never wear jeans unless they're $300 designer pairs and would never be caught dead in sneakers unless at a gym) and start thinking because their income is more disposable that they must mingle with a better crowd. I suppose that's different because usually when people do that change, it's obvious from high school they're going to become "that type", while my friend has always been a really easy-going laid back type of guy... and from what he told me, he always is going to be. If you're still like that at 25, I guess a job isn't going to change you like it would if it was right out of college.

[crystals]

I don't think you should worry about your friend changing. Deep down, I don't think a person's personality ever changes. Unless, a person has a traumatic experience and suffers amnesia for awhile. In my experience I have gone through life and my personality deep down has stayed the same. I'm still honest, strong-willed, wise, have a great sense of humor and am a nice person, but am sometimes a brat. Deep down, I don't think anyone ever changes.