C Doody
03-20-2004, 11:58 PM
CAST
Chad Doody - Himself
Chief Johnson - Dana Elcar
Anthony Bagwell - Jason Marsden
Agent Morillo - Michael Shanks
Carlton Douglas Jr. - Matthew Lawrence
Robert Guillaume - Himself
Donny Martin - Will Friedle
Lance Blade - Ted McGinley
Mr. Baines - Don Knotts
Carlton Douglas's Secretary - Suzanne Pleshette
Mime - Ethan Embry
Vince Villan (From Dream Sequence) - Martin Mull
Tracy (From Dream Sequence) - Trish Stratus
Hot Babe In Robert Guillaume's Sitcom - Stacy Keibler
Director In Robert Guillaume's Sitcom - Joseph Revilla
Prison Guard 1 - TF
Prison Guard 2 - EFD
_____________________________________________
*The Movie Opens In A Dark Cold Looking Lab. 2 Feet are shown walking as the camera Slowly goes up revealing the person is Chad Doody wearing a Black Tuxedo and Sunglasses. On the other end of the room You see A Man In An Eyepatch Also wearing a Tuxedo. He is laughing as In front of him is a Beautiful Woman chained to the wall. Chad Sees this, Takes his Sunglasses off and stuffs them in his pocket.*
Chad: Let Her Go...
*The Man in the eyepatch turns around and gets an Angry Look*
Man: Hello Chad Doody
Chad: Hello Vince Villan.
Vince: So we meet again....I Thought my Henchmen Took Care of you.
Chad: *Laughs* Vince Vince Vince....You should have Known 40 or 50 Big Tough Looking Men were No Match for the Worlds greatest Secret Agemt.
Beautiful Woman Chained To Wall: CHAD...HELP!
Chad: Ill Save you Tracy.....But First I Have to Get this very Ugly Man out of my way.
Vince: Well Mr. Doody if thats the way you want it. I Feel i should warn you though...I Am Trained In 32 Different Martial Arts.
Chad: 32? Is that it? I Suppose you Still ride your Bike With training Wheels too.
Vince: DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY SLOW LEARNING......FOR THAT YOU WILL PAY!
Chad: Ive Waited a Long time to fight you Villan.
Vince: Yes....But to get to me you must get through my friends.
*Many Big Men walk In and surround Chad. Chad maintains a confident Look*
Chad: Its time to Rocket...
*5 Minutes later everyone is down on the ground as Chad unties Tracy*
Tracy: Wow....You Just Beat up 200 Men, Vince Villan and His Personal Mime In 5 Minutes. Whyd you beat up the Mime again?
Chad: Every Man dreams of Beating up a Mime....I However, Am A Man of Action.
Tracy: *Smiles* My Hero!
Chad: All In The Days work Maam.
*Chad & Tracy Look into each others eyes and Passionately Kiss. Chad Is than shown In Bed sleeping and Making out with his Pillow. Suddenly the Alarm clock Goes off and Chad wakes up startled and falls out of Bed.*
Chad: *Laying On Floor* Why Is it even In My Dreams, Love always ends In Pain?
*Chad Trys to get up and hears a Bone snap*
Chad: Ow
CHAD VS THE DERANGED CHILD STAR
*The James Bond Theme Plays as An Animated Shadow Chad does Secret Agent Like Things*
*Later On A Man In A Suit with a Briefcase walks into a Building and up to the secretary*
Secretary: Hello, Welcome to The Douglas Television Network How may i help you?
Man: Hi Im Anthony Bagwell, I Have an Appointment with Mr. Douglas.
Secretary: Ok Let me check.
*The Secretary Looks Into the files*
Anthony: Im Sure you probably already recognize me.
Secretary: Im Sorry, I Dont.
Anthony: Oh....Well its been a Long time. I Played The Youngest Son, Toot On "The Swanson Family".
*Secretary Looks Confused*
Anthony: You Know.....The Hit 80s Sitcom.
Secretary: I Only watch Soap Operas......Your name was Toot?
Anthony: Well...It was Cute when i was 5 years Old. My Characters Real name was Thomas, Toot was sort of a Nickname....You Know, Like Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver? *Laughs*
Secretary: Riiiight.....Anyway, I Cant find Your name on the Schedule.
Anthony: What? No, Thats Impossible....
Secretary: Im Sorry Mr Bagwell But you do not have an Appointment Scheduled.
Anthony: Believe Me Lady, This day has been marked on My Calendar For Over A Year. I Am A Very close friend of The Owner of this Channel, Carlton Douglas. He told me Exactly One year ago Today that if i could Come up with a new Idea for a Television show he would Meet Me On This Date To Negociate. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY KEY BACK TO STARDOM!
Secretary: Oh....You Must be refering to Carlton Douglas Sr. He Died 4 Months ago.
Anthony: WHAT? THIS IS TERRIBLE
Secretary: I Know, He Was A Very Nice Man.
Anthony: What?....Ah Yeah whatever. But where does this leave my TV Idea?
Secretary: Well since you did have an Appointment with Mr. Douglas, And their are no other meetings for 3 hours....I Guess you can Meet with The New Owner, Carlton Douglas Jr.
Anthony: Great.
Secretary: His office is the one down at the end of the hallway. You can go right On In.
Anthony: Thank You.
*Anthony Walks down the hallway and into The Office.*
Carlton Douglas Jr: Can I Help you?
Anthony: Hello Mr. Douglas. I Am Anthony Bagwell.
*Anthony Extends his Hand and Carlton shakes it*
Carlton: Hey....Werent you Toot On The Swanson Family?
Anthony: Why Yes I Was.
Carlton: That was one of this stations Highest Rated Programs Of the 1980s.
Anthony: Yes It was....Unfortunately I Havent had that much succes since the show went off the air in 1987.
Carlton: Thats too bad.
Anthony: Yeah Well....I Made decent Money doing Informercials for "Cheese In A Box" And "Inflatable Pants". But Let me assure you sir, Showbusiness has NEVER Left My Heart!
Carlton: Thats good to hear.
Anthony: So Anyway, I had previously made an Appointment with your Father, Im Sorry to hear of his Passing by the way.
Carlton: Yeah.....Not a day goes by that i dont miss Dad. I Rememeber this one time he took me fishing and we...
Anthony: How Nice! Going Back to Business...Your Dad told me if i could come up with a good Idea for a TV Show He would let me Direct, Produce, and Star In It.
Carlton: Did you come up with any ideas?
Anthony: I Sure did Sir! Ok Now Invision this in your head....
*Carlton Nods his head*
Anthony: I Star As An Undercover Cop in this Sitcom Set In New York City. Whats the Outrageous Sitcom Plot you may ask?.....I LIVE WITH A BEAR!
Carlton: A.....Bear?
Anthony: *Smiles* YES!
Carlton: .....And?.....
Anthony: And?.....IM LIVING WITH A BEAR!
*Carlton Gets A Weird Look On His Face*
Anthony: You Know...Me and the bear can have Lots of WACKY Adventures! What do you think?
Carlton: Well Ummmm....
*Anthony is still smiling*
Carlton: Quite Frankly Mr. Bagwell, I Dont even know WHAT To say to that.
Anthony: You Like it Huh?
Carlton: Im Sorry Mr. Bagwell...But im going to have to pass On the offer.
Anthony: What?...But Why?
Carlton: Im going to be honest with you man. Not only is that Plot INCREDIBLY Stupid And Pathetic.....But that May very well Rank up their with "My Mother The Car" and "The Flying Nun" On the List of the stupidest Sitcom Ideas Ever Made.
Anthony: Are you Kidding me? THIS IDEA IS PURE GENIUS!
Carlton: A POLICE MAN LIVING WITH A BEAR IS FAR FROM GENIUS!
Anthony: Come On Mr. Douglas...Ever since the Swanson Family ended My Careers gone down the drain. You were the first one to even recognize me In years!
Carlton: Im Sorry Anthony, And I Would like to help. But this is a TV Station, A Business....If i were to put that crap on the air Our station would be the laughing stock of Television.
Anthony: It doesnt even have to be On During Prime Time. You could air it in the Afternoon....Replace those stupid Benson Reruns.
Carlton: My Favorite Show is Benson....I used to watch it with my Father.
Anthony: BENSONS CRAP!
*Carlton Pushs a Button on his desk*
Carlton: Security....
Anthony: YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THIS CARLTON! YOUR GONNA PAY.....YOUR SECRETARYS GONNA PAY......BENSONS GONA PAY!
*Security Guards Drag Anthony Out*
Anthony: MARK MY WORDS DOUGLAS.....ANTHONY BAGWELL WILL ONCE AGAIN BECOME A HOUSEHOLD NAME!
Carlton: What A Fruitcake....
*The Scene than cuts to The secret headquarters of an Underground Secret Agency Known only as Secret Agent Guys AKA S.A.G. Chad Walks Into Chief Johnson's Office.*
Chief: Ah Good Morning Doody. Have A Good nights sleep?
Chad: Not really sir.
Chief: Let me guess. You Had that Dream where you Single Handedly Save the World, Kiss A Girl and Wake Up Faling out of bed again?
Chad: Yep...Im Craving Adventure Chief. I Havent been on a Mission In Months.
Chief: Well Mr. Doody S.A.G Has Many Agents Employed. Each of them More Experienced, More Intelligent, And More Skilled than you.
Chad: Gee Chief, Thanks for the Encouragement *Rolls Eyes*
Chief: Face it Doody...Your A Good Man, And You Make One HECK Of A Good Strawberry Shortcake....But as a Secret Agent your Not exactly our first Choice for Missions.
Chad: Come On Cheif...No One else was around For that Evil Postal Workers Case and I Saved the day.
Chief: Chad...I Admit you Did an excellent Job their And it Was a Very Important Case. But compared to some of the other ones this Agency Has It was Small Potatoes.
*Chad Looks Sad*
Chief: Now you have a Job here at S.A.G For Life, But your going to have to deal with the fact that their isnt Much action for a Man your Status. If anything you should be happy that you get paid to do absolutely nothing.
Chad: Well Im Not Happy Chief...I Became a Secret agent because i wanted to live the Exciting Life. Being Suave...Saving the world....Getting Chicks.
Chief: Well its not exactly Like it is in the movies Doody. Its not All Glamorous.
*Just than the door Opens and A Man walks In wearing a Tuxedo with Sunglasses Exactly Like Chad In His Dream.*
Chief: Lance Blade....Back from your Mission already?
Lance: Of course Chief. I Saved France from Franklin Grentier In No Time at all, And decided to take some time out to enjoy the sights and Women of France. *Smiles and Winks*
Chief: Excellent Job as usual Lance.
Chad: Not All Glamourous Huh Chief?
Chief: Doody, We sent Lance to France....Hey that rhymes.
Lance: Woah It Does....
Chief: Yes...As i was saying. We sent Lance to France On A Mission. What he wants to do and wear In Between that time is completely up to him. Its not as if we Find him Women and Buy his suits.
Lance: Of course not...My Clothes are Exclusively Tailored in the South Of France. Where do you buy yours Kid?
Chad: Ummm....The South Of......K-Mart.....
Lance: ..............Yes.......Anyway, Chief Im gonna head Home. Just call if you need me for a Mission.
Chief: Ok, Goodbye Lance.
*Lance walks out*
Chad: Its not fair.
Chief: *Sighs* What isnt fair Doody?
Chad: Lance gets all the great Missions.
Chief: Hes Our top Agent. Hes been with us for Over 20 years and Always does His Missions In Amazing Time.
Chad: Chief im teling you...If given the chance I Can do the same thing. I Just need a chance.
Chief: *Takes A Long sigh and Puts his hand On his Forehead* I Know im going to regret this.....But the next Mission i get, I Will give to you.
Chad: Seriously?
Chief: Yes....But If you dont think your capable of it, You Tell me Immediately and i will give it to someone else.
Chad: Im Capable of anything Chief. Im Not the Coffee Boy anymore...Ever since The Postal Worker Mission I Have been preparing and Training for my next One. I Think Youll Be surprised with how much ive learnt.
Chief: Yes well you Better be prepared. In This Line of duty you must take Everything seriously. You Have to Have a Mature Outlook on Life.
*Agent Morillo Walks In*
Agent Morillo: Sir Im Sorry, The Video store was out of Copys of The Little Mermaid.
Chief: Ohhh Just Great. Their Goes My Weekend.
*Chad Raises his eyebrow. The scene than cuts to An Airport. A Large crowd of people are shown walking out of it, including Robert Guillaume. Robert continues to walk until Anthony Bagwell Stands in front of him.*
Anthony: Hello.....BENSON.
Robert: *Laughs* Son My Name is Robert Guillaume, Benson Was just a Character I Played On Television.
Anthony: Right. I Was On A TV Show too.....I Played Toot On The Swanson Family.
Robert: Im Sorry, Im Not familiar with that show. Excuse Me...I Have to Get going.
*Robert walks Away as Anthony stands Looking Mad.*
Anthony: *Whispering* Bensons Gonna Die....
*Later On Robert is sitting In A Restaurant Eating When Anthony walks over to his table.*
Anthony: We Meet Again......BENSON
Robert: Listen Sir...I Tld you, My Name is Robert Guillaume!
Anthony: I Have A Gun!
Robert: *Nervously* Like I Said, The Names Benson.
Anthony: If you want to live i suggest you walk with me out to My Car.
*Robert stands up and Walks with Anthony to His Car outside.*
Anthony: Get In
Robert: Can You please tell me whats going...
Anthony: GET IN!
*Robert gets in the car as does Anthony and the Car drives off. The scene than cuts to Chad's Apartment. Chad is inside Watching TV When the phone rings. Chad answers it.*
Chad: Hello
Voice Of Chief: Doody....Get down to Headquarters Immediately. Your Chance Is Now.
*Chad Gets a Detirmined Look on his face and Hangs up the phone. Chad than runs out. Back st S.A.G The Chief is sitting in His office with Agent Morillo whn Chad walks in.*
Chad: I Came over as Fast as i could.
Chief: Doody...We Have A Mission for you. Lives are On the Line, And You Wil be dealing with A Possible Pshycopath. Do you choose to accept this Mission?
Chad: Yes.
Chief: Very Well. Agent Morillo, Hand him the Documents.
*Agent Morillo Hands Chad a folder. Chad begins to read through them when he sees a Photo of Anthony Bagwell.*
Chad: Anthony Bagwell...
Chief: Your familiar with him?
Chad: Absolutely, Sitcoms Are A Big Interest of mine. Anthony Bagwell played Thomas "Toot" Swanson On The Swanson Family. A Sitcom On The Douglas Television Network, From 1980 To 1987.
Chief: Im Impressed.
Chad: But what does he have to do with this?
Agent Morillo: Mr. Bagwell has Found It very hard to find work Since the show was Cancelled.
Chad: I Dunno....I Found his Cheese In A Box Informercial Pretty entertaining.
Chief: That was a fine product! I Bought One for my Sister for Christmas last year and she absolutely Adored it.
Chad: I Just used Mine Saurday. Im Especially fond of the Gouda.
Chief: I Also Liked....
Agent Morillo: AHEM.....
Chief: Oh Right...Carry On.
Agent Morillo: As i was saying.....It has been very hard for Bagwell to find work since the show was Cancelled. He attempted to Sell A Sitcom Idea to Carlton Douglas Jr. However his Idea was Flatly Turned down By Mr. Douglas.
Chad: What was his idea?
Agent Morillo: A Sitcom about A Police Officer living With A.....Bear.
Chief: My God.....
Agent Morillo: What is it sir?
Chief: A Sitcom with A Police Man living with a Bear......Thats GENIUS!
*Chad & Agent Morillo Both Look at The Chief weird*
Chief: Well I Would enjoy it....
Agent Morillo: Mr. Bagwell suggested Douglas Get rid of Benson and replace the timeslot with his show. Douglas Refused And Bagwell stormed out of Douglas's Office Furious About being turned down. He claimed he would Get revenge On Carlton Douglas, Carlton Douglas's Secretary, And Benson. This was A Week ago today....3 Days ago Witnesses Claimed Robert Guillaume Was seen talking to a strange Man before leaving the restaurant with him. A Tourist was eating at the restaurant and snapped a few Photos of Guillaume As he was a Fan of Benson.
Chad: Who isnt?
Agent Morillo: The Tourist seen Mr. Guillaume Speaking with the strange man And as They left the Tourist followed to catch a few more snapshots of Mr Guillaume. The tourist than noticed the strange man had What appeared to be a gun barely sticking out of his coat Pocket and Noticed Guillaume Seemed to be tremebling. The Tourist turned the Photos Into the Police and the Police forwarded them to me Via E-Mail. After Closely examining and Zooming In on the photos I Noticed The Strange man was None other than Anthony Bagwell.
Chief: Well Done Agent Morillo. I Must say....Your Good.
Agent Morillo: Why Thank You Chief. Im Glad you finally decided to give me some credit.
Chief: Yes....By the way, Your flys Unzipped.
*Agent Morillo Looks annoyed Until he Looks down and Notices his fly really is Unzipped, He zips them back up and Looks embarassed*
Chad: Ok...So Bagwell Kidnapped Robert Guillaume Because The network wouldnt replace Bnson with his show?
Chief: I Told you....You may be dealing with a real Wacko here. Like he yeled out in Douglas's Office he has 3 People he wants revenge on. Obviously He already got Guillaume....We have reason to believe Douglas's Secretary is next To be kidnapped.
Chad: So My Mission is to protect her?
Chief: No. Your Mission is to Stake out near her Apartment Building. Let him Kidnap her, Than follow him. Once you find out where he is going you than Step In and Rescue Guillaume & The Secretary.
Chad: Seems easy enough.
Chief: Well just remember...You Could be dealing with a real wacko here. If your going to go on a case of this Magnitude, You Must first make a stop at the Lab.
Chad: The Lab....Wow......Ive never been their.
Chief: Follow Me.
*Inside the Lab a Scientist is typing on his computer. The High tech Door slides Open as Chad, The Chief & Agent Morillo Walk In.*
Chief: Chad Doody, This is our lab scientist Donny Martin.
Donny: Nice to meet you Agent Doody.
Chad: So your the guy that makes all the Cool Gadgets?
Donny: That Is Correct...Lance Blade has Been on alot of Missions, But im the one that makes all his High tech stuff. But do i get credit for saving the world? NOOOOO
Chief: Martin...
Donny: Yes Sir?
Chief: Shut Up
Donny: Yes Sir.
Agent Morillo: I Explained everything you you earlier Professor Martin. Agent Doody is on the Anthony Bagwell Mission.
Donny: A Very underated Actor. Great salesman too...I Musta bought Cheese In A Box for everyone In My Family for Christmas.
Chief: So what Do you have that can help Agent Doody In this Mission?
Donny: Well Chief....I Think the question is What DONT I Have that can help Agent Doody In This Mission?
*Donny smiles and Walks over to his Vault. He opens it as Everyone Looks In and sees Thousands of Different Gadgets.*
Chad: Wow....
Donny: Preeeety Cool, Isnt It?
*Donny Pulls out A Very Small Device.*
Donny: Now here you have your Standard Tracking device. Its small enough as it is But when Split in two its even smaller. When Bagwells Inside Getting the Secretary you Open the Door to his car and quickly throw this in the back seat. Its so small he'll never notice it. You Keep your half and It will tell you exactly where the Other half is.
*Donny Pulls out A Watch*
Donny: Now Heres a True Classic. Looks like a Normal watch, But will enable you to communicate with us back at Headquarters from anywhere in the world. Long Distance Fee Free!
Chad: Greatness!
*Donny pulls out A Can of coke And hands it to Chad.*
Chad: Thanks Donny, Kinda thirsty.
*Chad is about to open it*
Donny: NO!
*Donny Pulls the Coke Can from Chad*
Donny: This is No regular Can of Coca Cola! Its actually A Highly Explosive Bomb.
*Chad Looks scared*
Donny: Dont worry. The only way to activate it is to Shake the can Up and Open it. After this is done you have Exactly 10 seconds before it blows up.
*Donny Pulls Out A Scooter*
Chad: A Scooter?
Donny: Not just any Scooter. This Baby Has the latest Hover Technology....Just Pull this String By the Handle bar and youll be flying!
Chad: A Scooter isnt exactly the best means of transportation. You couldnt have made a Hover Car.....Or A Hover Bike.....Or A Hover Board?
Donny: What do you think this is, Back To The Future? The Scooter is the perfect size and weight for the Hover Technology. Larger than a Skateboard, But smaller than a Bike. I Find it kinda odd your being picky WHEN YOU SUDDENLY HAVE THE ABILITY TO FLY!
Chad: Alright Alright.....Im Sorry.
Donny: Thats Ok. Its called the Hooter.
Chad: ........Hooter?
Donny: Yeah You Know, Hover Scooter.....Hooter.
*Chad, The Chief & Agent Morillo all look at Donny weird*
Chad: I Am Not gonna ride around on something called the HOOTER...
Donny: Alright fine....The Scoover.
Chad: That'll Work.
Donny: Ok, That should be enough Gadgets to get you through the Mission.
Chad: Thanks Donny.
*Chad, Chief & Agent Morillo all leave*
Donny: ......Hooter *Starts Cracking up Laughing*
*In The Hallway Chad, Chief & Agent Morillo are walking*
Chief: Ok Doody. Bagwell should show up anytime tonight at the Secretarys apartment. Its very important you keep your eyes On Him at ALL Times.
Chad: Dont worry chief. I Have the attention span of An Eagle.
*Chad is shown Behind a Bush sleeping*
Chief's Voice On Chad's Communication Watch: Doody......DOODY.....ARE YOU THEIR?
*Chad wakes up And raises the Communication Watch to his face*
Chad: Yeah Cheif, Im Here.
Chief's Voice: Has Bagwel been to the apartment yet?
Chad: I Hope Not...
Chief's Voice: WHAT?
*Chad Looks and Sees The Secretary Taking her Garbage Out*
Chad: I Mean....No.
Chief's Voice: Ok, Signing Out. And Doody...
Chad: Yes Chief?
Chief's Voice: Dont Screw Up
Chad: I Wont Chief.
*The Chief...Who is back In Donny's Lab and wearing a Dress, A Long Blonde wig and Lipstick Stops talking into the watch and Looks at Donny*
Chief: Ok Donny. Now will you please explain to me why you made me dress like this?
Donny: Well Chief, i Made this Dress for Agent Sarah Watson
Chief: The Extremely Fa......Large Woman?
Donny: Correct. But shes already on a Mission, And Your the only other guy that fits the dress size Of an extremely large Woman.
*Chief Looks Mad*
Donny: Anyways, This is no Ordinary Dress. Its actually filled with Over 50 Different Weapons and Spy Gadgets. Try this for example.
*Donny grabs One of The Chief's Breasts As Chief Looks extremely Uncomfortable.*
Chief: Uhhh Donny...I Dont know what this dress is doing for you, But we're just friends, Ok?
Donny: Chief Chief...Give me some credit. I Like Women, And If I Were to fall For A Man....Rst assured, It Wouldnt be you.
Chief: Oh, So Im Not good enough for you? AM I NOTHING MORE THAN A SEX OBJECT TO YOU?
*Donny Looks Horrified.*
Chief: Sorry.
Donny: Riiiiight. Anyways, The reason i grabbed Their is the Dress actually has Sleeping Gas Built Into that area. Observe.
*Donny grabs The Breast of the Chief again and Squeezes is as Gas comes out. Donny Immediately falls asleep with his head landing On the Chief's Cheast with his hand still On Chief's Breast. Suddenly Agent Morillo Walks In and Looks Horrified after seeing this.*
Agent Morillo: Chief?.....
Chief: Do you mind, Agent Morillo? Donny and I Are experimenting.
*Agent Morillo's Eyes widen*
Agent Morillo: Ex.....Experimenting Sir?
Chief: Yes. Agent Sarah Watson was supposed to do this But shes On A Mission.
Agent Morillo: Sarah Watson? Sir Im....
Chief: Oh Dont worry Morillo, She can Have it when she gets back.
Agent Morillo: But Sir thats.....Absolutely None of my Business. Carry On While I Go Wash my hands....And my eyes.
*Agent Morillo walks out as Donny begins to wake up*
Chief: Whats his Problem?
*Back In The Bush where Chad is staking out In, Chad is sitting And eating a Sandwich when suddenly he sees a Car Pull up in front of the Apartment. Chad Looks out Of the Bush and Sees Anthony Bagwell get out of his car and walk into the apartment. When Bagwell gets in the Building, Chad exits the Bush and swiftly runs behind the Car. Chad slowly Opens the Car door to throw the Tracking device In When suddenly a Loud Alarm Goes off. Chad Panics And runs off As Bagwell comes running out. He Sees Chad running and gets in his Car. Bagwell starts the car and begins chasing Chad down. Chad runs as fast as he can to avoid the Car but the car is coming fast. Chad Looks for a place to try to hide but finds nothing. Out of Desperation Chad Runs the other way, Bagwell Quickly turns the car around and Chases him down. Chad than leaps into the Bush he was Hiding out in before. Anthony Bagwell waits for him With A Look of Pure Anger. Chad than Rides out of the Bush with a Scooter. Bagwell looks On and cant help but laugh.*
Anthony Bagwell: A Scooter? Hes gonna try to escape from me With a Scooter?! Who is this Idiot?
*Bagwell starts up the car again and Begins chasing the Scooter Down. Chad Moves his legs as fast as he can to try to get the Scooter going.*
Chad: Ok....How does this fly again?
*Bagwell's Car catches Up with The Scooter. Chad and the Scooter are Now DIRECTLY In front of the Car. Chad leans back on the Car as the Scooter's Wheels Begin to spark.*
Anthony Bagwell: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG GUY KID...ILL TEACH YOU TO TRY TO STEAL FROM ANTHONY BAGWELL!
*Chad Is still In Panic mode and trying to figure out what to do. He notices the string By the Handle Bar and smiles.*
Chad: Id love To Hang around and Play With you Bagwell, But I Have to catch a flight.
Anthony Bagwell: NICE TRY KID....THE ONLY FLIGHT YOUR GONNA TAKE IS THE ONE ILL GIVE YOU WHEN I.......Ummmmm......WELL YOU GET THE POINT!
*Chad smiles and Pulls the String on the scooter. Chad than begins Moving his foot to get the Scooter going again. The Scooter than begins to fly off as BagwelL Stops the Car And looks Up In Amazement.*
Anthony Bagwell? A Flying....Scooter?
Chad: ITS A SCOOVER!
*Bagwell continues to Look up in Amazment as Chad Flys Off*
Anthony Bagwell: Wow......I Knew Kids toys were advanced nowadays But MAN!
*Bagwell starts the Car up again and drives off. Back at Headquarters Chad is sitting in a Chair Looking Down as Chief stands behind him.*
Chief: I Thought you said you could handle this Doody. Not only did you Fail your Mission, But you completely blew your cover! Than after you left, Bagwell Went on with plan and Kidnapped the Secretary.
Chad: What was i supposed to do Chief? I Tryed to put the tracking device in his car and an Alarm went off. Than he chases me with his car, If i didnt think fast i woulda been Killed.
Chief: Believe me Doody, You were safer off than than you are with me now.
Chad: Chief, What was i supposed to do?
Chief: Well you certainly werent supposed to just OPEN The Car door. You Have been trained By the best Doody, Their are many ways to get into the car by someone like yourself.
Chad: Im Sorry Chief. It was a Mistake.
Chief: Well it was a STUPID Mistake, And it probably cost us the Mission. Luckily their is still One Chance to get him....When he goes after Carlton Douglas Jr.
Chad: I Wont screw up this time Chief.
Chief: Thats right, You Wont. Because im sending Lance Blade. Your Off the Mission.
Chad: WHAT? But Chief...It was only one mistake. I....
Chief: Save it Doody. Theirs No Room for Mistakes in this Line of duty, Especially as big as the one you made. Lance Blade Has been with this Agency for over 20 years and has never made a Mistake.
Chad: STOP IT.....Im Tired of you always comparing me to Lance Blade. Thats not fair, No One is like him. Hes "Perfect"
Cheif: And that is why hes going on the Mission.
Chad: But Chief, I Can Handle this.
Chief: Like you handled it back their with the Scooter?
Chad: Sscoover.
Chief: Whatever. The fact of the matter is, Your off the Mission.
*Chief begins to walk away*
Chad: You cant do this to me sir.
*The Cheif stops and sighs, Than turns around and Looks at Chad*
Chief: Listen Chad....I Like you. I Always have liked you. Your A Nice Kid, And I Like your Attitude. But Missions Like this call for someone with more experience and Knowledge. Beleieve Me, Your going to go on plenty of Missions in the future, But You need some more experience first.
Chad: How am i ever going to get experience if you wont give me a chance?
Chief: LISTEN DOODY....I GAVE YOU A CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT. YOU ARE OFF THIS MISSION AND THATS THAT, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
Chad: Yeah.....Crystal Clear.
*Chad Walks out of the Office Disapointed. Chief Lets out a sigh with a Look as if he feels sorry for Chad, But the Look quickly leaves his Face as he knows he made the right decision. The Chief than turns around and sits at his desk. Back at Chad's Apartment, Chad is sitting on the couch watching TV. Hes still in his Pajamas and eating A Bag of doritos when the doorbell rings. Chad gets up and walks over to the door, Still In A Depressed Mood. Chad opens the door and An Elderly Man In A Blue sweater is standing their.*
Chad: Hi Mr. Baines.
Mr. Baines: Hi Chad, Im Here for the rent.
Chad: Sure, Come On In.
*Chad Walks over to the desk and Pulls out some Money, Than hands it to Mr. Baines*
Mr. Baines: Thanks. Say, Why the Long face?
Chad: Nevermind....You Wouldnt Understand.
Mr. Baines: Well why dont you try me?
Chad: Well....I Cant tell you exactly what. But lets just say i had the chance to do something ive wanted to do for a Long time...And I Made one little Mistake. So Someone told me i couldnt do it anymore And well...Here I Am.
Mr. Baines: I Wouldnt Understand Huh? Believe it or not Kid, Ive been down that same road.
Chad: You Have?
Mr. Baines: Absolutely. As you know, Before i Settled Down And bought this Apartment Building...I Was An Actor.
Chad: Actualky...I Didnt Know that.
Mr. Baines: Oh....Well, I Never really made it far or anything. But I Have made a Few guest apparences On TV Shows, And was even in a Movie.
Chad: Really? Thats Awesome. But why have i never heard of you or seen you in anything?
Mr. Baines: Well like i said, I Never made it big. But at least i made it at all, Which is more than most thought i would make it at all. When i first went Through Acting school...My Teacher told me i couldnt act and would never make it as an Actor.
Chad: He said that? Talk about Harsh....
Mr. Baines: Yeah, Harsh But true. At that Point in time i was TERRIBLE....But i didnt give up. I Went to anouther acting school after that, I Listened to advice from Pros and Paid my dues...And When i made it in that movie, Even though My role was small. Guess Who gave me a call and Congratulated me?
Chad: Who?
Mr. Baines: That same teacher that told me i would never make it in acting. The Point is You May make it big in something, You May Barely make it, And you may not make it at all. But You cant give up on your dream because someone tells you "You Cant". The fact is, At One point EVERYBODY Stunk at what they did.
Chad: Not Lance Blade.
Mr. Baines: Whos Lance Blade?
Chad: Nevermind....
Mr. Baines: Well...Just think about what i said Chad, Your Young Its not too late to Do whatever it is you want to do. And if you fail...At least youll know you tried. Im Sure the person that told you that will be impressed if you continue On.
Chad: Yeah....Well you dont know the guy.
*Mr. Baines smiles and Pats Chad on the back, He than walks out the door. Chad walks back to The couch and starts eating doritos again, He than Pauses as Mr. Baines' Voice comes in his head saying "Its not too late to Do whatever it is you want to do. And if you fail...At least youll know you tried.". Chad thinks for a second.*
Chad: Its Not too late....
*Chad drops the bag of Doritos On the Couch and runs Into his bedroom, The camera than shows Chad's Closet Opening as He Pulls out a Tuxedo Much like Lance Blade's*
Chad: After all the times Ive Tryed this On and Messed around in the Mirror....I Think its finally time i wear this for the Appropriate Occasion.*
*The Mission Impossible Theme Plays as The Camera than shows the floor as Chad's Pajamas go Dropping on the floor. Chad Than Goes outside and Opens his Section of The Apartment Garage Exposing the Scoover. Chad Looks at it, Than Pulls some Sunglasses Out of his Pocket...Much like the ones he wore in his Dream. He than puts them On.*
Chad: Its time to Rocket...
*Outside of The Douglas Television Network Building At Night, Lance Blade is shown standing outside. He Talks into his watch.*
Lance: Bagwells going into the Building Chief. I Have already placed the Tracking Device inside of his Car, Once he leaves with Carlton Douglas Jr Ill follow him in my Porsche to wherever hes keeping everyone.
Chief's Voice: Good Job Lance. Ill Have some Backup for you Close by, All you have to do Is Tell me when and Where and Ill send Them In.
Lance: That wont Be Neccesary Chief.
Chief's Voice: What? Why Not?
Lance: I Can take this guy Chief. After im done ill take the Hostages to safety and hand him over to the Authorities.
Chief's Voice: I Dont think thats a very good idea Blade. This guy can be a real whacko...
Lance: Its Ok Chief, I Can Handle it.
Chief's Voice: But Lance....
*Lance Takes the Communication Watch and Tosses it into the Bush. Lance Walks over to the window and takes a peak In, He also places a Device on the window that enables him to hear inside. Inside Carlton Douglas Jr. Is shown at his desk filling out paperwork When Anthony Bagwell barges In*
Anthony Bagwell: HERES.....TOOT!
Carlton Douglas Jr: Bagwell, What the heck do you think your doing?
Anthony Bagwell: Anything i want. You see, I Run this station now.
Carlton Douglas Jr: *Laughs* What makes you think that?
*Anthony Pulls out a Gun and Points it at Carlton as Carlton gets a Look of Horror*
Anthony: This....Is what makes me think that.
*Anthony smiles as the scene cuts to Outside. Lance runs behind a tree and Hides as Anthony and Carlton are shown walking out of the Building. Anthony has his hand in his pocket and has it up to Carlton's Back. Anthony and Carlton get in Anthony Bagwells car and drive off. Lance hurrys and gets in his Porsche, Only to find Chad sitting in the Passenger seat.*
Lance: Doody? What are you doing here?
Chad: Im going with you.
*Lance sighs*
Lance: Doody, The Chief took you off this Mission. He had direct orders for you not NOT To get Involved.
Chad: Well Lance, You Have two choices. You can either take me back to the Chief So i can Get yelled at, Or We can track down this Maniac before he does anything to hurt the Hostages.*
Lance: *Sighs* Fine....
*Lance starts the car and drives out of the parking lot. He than Follows Anthony Bagwell's Car. Inside Anthony Bagwell's Car Anthony notices Lance's Porsche Behind Him.*
Anthony: That car is following us...
Carlton: Good....Maybe its the Cops. You better Enjoy your freedom while you can Pal, Cause i am DEFINITELY Pressing charges!
Anthony: Nobodys Pressing any Charges. Ill ditch them.
*Anthony starts driving faster and Trys many times to lose Lance. Lance Stops and Pulls into a parking lot.*
Chad: Why are you stopping?
Lance: Its obvious he knows Im after him. Ill Let him think he lost us, Than Use the tracking device to find him.
*Lance and Chad sit in the parking lot a few seconds and Chad lets out a fart. Lance's Face Scrunches up disgusted.*
Chad: Oh What....Youve never farted?
Lance: Yeah.....But Mine never stink.
*Chad rolls his eyes as Lance starts the car again. Lance hands Chad the tracking device.*
Lance: Ill Drive, You Tell me where to go.
*Back At Anthony's Place Robert Guillaume And The Secretary are shown tied Up when Anthony and Carlton walk in.*
Anthony: I Told you id lose them. Sit Down.
Carlton: Listen Bagwell, If its Money you want....
Anthony: SIT DOWN!
*Carlton sits down quickly and Anthony ties him up*
Anthony: Ill tell you all about it Shortly. But if youll excuse me, Its time for Bewitched.
*Anthony walks in the other room.*
Secretary: Mr. Douglas....
Carlton: So thats why you havent been in to work. Whats with this guy?
Robert Guillaume: Its A Long story.
Carlton: Wait...Benson?
Robert Guillaume: My Name is Robert Guillaume, THANK YOU!
Carlton: Sorry...
*Carlton Looks nervous as they all sit their. Outside Down the road, Lance's Porsche Parks. Lance gets out and Chad is about to.*
Lance: You wait out here.
Chad: What? Why?
Lance: Your not even supposed to be on this Mission, But out of Niceness i let you help track the Place. But that where it ends Kid....I Work Alone. Just wait out here...I Wont be long.
*Chad Looks annoyed as Lance walks down the street. Lance sneaks around Bagwell's Yard and Looks in the window. He sees the Hostages tied up, Lance than Goes around to the back and Digs Out of his Pocket, What appears to be a Flashlight. Lance takes the "Flashlight" And Puts it up to the House, Lance than Pushes a button and a Lazer beam comes out. Lance makes a circle with the lazer and Takes a circular chunk out of the House. Lance than crawls In and puts the Part of the wal back. Once inside Lance stands up and turns round only to see Anthony Bagwell standing with a gun.*
Anthony Bagwell: Looking for something?
Lance: How did you know?
Anthony: How did I Know what? I Was sitting right their and seen Part of my wall Being destroyed. You Made one stupid mistake their Bud.
Lance: What? But Im Lance Blade.....I Dont make Mistakes.
Anthony: Yeah Yeah. Theirs a first time for everything, Go sit with the others.
*Bagwell puts the Gun up to Lance's Back and Lance goes and sits down. Back in the Car Chad is sitting annoyed.*
Chad: Forget this...Im Going In.
*Chad Gets out of the Car and sneaks Up to Bagwell's House. Back inside Bagwell is tieing Lance Up to a chair.*
Anthony: That oughta hold you.
Carlton: Why are you doing this? Because i didn accept your stupid show?
Anthony: Mr. Douglas, When you rejected my show...I Got this feeling in my stomach. Th same feeling that i got when i was told The Swanson Family was Cancelled. I Really dont like that feeling Carl...
Carlton: Listen, Im Sorry....
Anthony: LIES..........ALL LIES! You dont care about me Mr. Network Man. *Lance begins to cry* NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME...
Robert Guillaume: I Know I Dont.
Anthony: SHUT UP BENSON!
Robert Guillaume: Will you STOP Calling me that?
*Carlton Looks at Lance who is also crying*
Carlton: Your the Secret Agent here, Do Something.
Lance: I Cant believe I Made a Mistake. I Have NEVER Made a Mistake.
*Lance continues Crying, As does Anthony as Robert Guillaume, Carlton and the Secretary Roll their eyes.*
Anthony: So Mr. Douglas...I Have came up with a Plan. You see, Your going to be joining your Father in Heaven soon. As a matter of fact....All of you are! But first Mr. Douglas, Your going to Write up a Will, Leaving your Television network to ME!
Carlton: Why should i do that?
Anthony: Because if you dont, Ill kill you!
Carlton: Werent you gonna do that anyway?
Anthony: True....THAN ILL KILL ALL OF THEM TOO!
Robert Guillaume: You Blithering Idiot....You Just told us you were going to do that anyway also.
Anthony: Ummm Ummmm..........CRAP!
Secretary: What An Idiot....
*Anthony Points the Gun at the Secretary*
Anthony: SHUT UP!.......Your just like those Critics that Started bashing "The Swanson Family". The same Critics that praised it in its early years....I Still remember all of their cruel comments. "The Actor that Plays Toot is a Pre Teen now...He shouldnt be acting like a little kid." Or My Personal Favorite "Toot Is A Fruit"....Yeah thats real funny. Just because i was getting older i couldnt do what i loved to do anymore?.....THATS BULL! I WAS FREAKIN ADORABLE....AT ANY AGE!
*Carlton, Robert, And The Secretary all Look Scared. Lance continues Crying. Anthony still has the gun up to the secretary.*
Anthony: Im gonna kill you because of those Critics.....
*Anthony points the Gun at Robert Guillaume*
Anthony: Im gonna Kill you for Benson Airing instead of my show.
*Anthony Points the Gun at Carlton*
Anthony: Im gonna Kill you for Turning down my show.
*Anthony Points the gun at Lance*
Anthony: And im gonna Kill you for snooping around where your not welcome.
Lance: *Still Crying* Oh Go Ahead....I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR ANYMORE!
Anthony: I Know how it feels man....Wait, NO I DONT! Because even if you dont write up that Will Douglas, I Will Simply forge it. I Will own the station, Rerun "The Swanson Family" All day, And at night i will show new shows featuring ME! And Nobody can stop me...
Chad's Voice: Well...Except Me!
*Anthony Turns around and Sees Chad standing their. Chad is still wearing the Tux and Sunglasses, However he takes the Sunglasses off and puts them in his pocket.*
Anthony: The Kid on the Flying Scooter?
Chad: Chad Doody...Secret Agent For the S.A.G.
Anthony: S.A.G? Sag? How did you even get in here?
Chad: The Front door....I Was sure you wouldnt expect that. By the way S.A.G Stands for Secret Agent Guys...And Im your worst nightmare.
*Anthony Laughs*
Anthony: Whats A Kid Playing Secret Agent Gonna do to me? Shoot me with his Toy Power Ranger Gun?
*Chad Yakuza Kicks The Gun out of Anthony's Hand and it goes flying. Anthony gets a look of shock.*
Chad: Actually, Im Trained In Many Different variations of Martial Arts.....And My Toy Power Ranger Gun is At Home.
Anthony: Pretty Impressive. But I Did Alot of training for my Celebrity Boxing Match with Barry Williams.....Which May i add, I Won.
Chad: Wow....You Beat Greg Brady. *Rolls Eyes* How Impressive....And Celebrity Boxing? Dude..You KNOW Your Career has gone down the drain when you do that.
Anthony: You Take that back!
Chad: I Dont Wanna...
*Anthony Begins Jumping around like Muhammed Ali*
Anthony: Alright Kid....You asked for it.
*Suddenly a Mime walks in and Looks shocked.*
Chad: Uhhhh
Anthony: Thats My Brother.....Hes A Mime. You got a problem with that?
Chad: Well Maybe I DO!
*The Mime gives Chad a Dirty Look and does a Thing with his hands as if to say "Bring It On". Chad Nods and And runs at the Mime with A Karate Kick, This Knocks the Mime to the other side of the room dazed and laying on the floor, This however buys Anthony Bagwell enough time to pick up the gun he dropped. Chad Looks down at the Mime and smiles when he hears the gun click. Chad than slowly turns around and sees Bagwell wih the gun.*
Anthony: Smooth Moves Kid....Shame i have To Kill you now.
*Anthony Is about to shoot Chad, However Chad gets a detirmined Look and decides to take a risk. Chad runs at Bagwell as fast as he can As fast as he can, And Once again Kicks the gun out of Bagwell's Hand after Dodging a Bullet. Chad than Tripkicks Bagwell causing Bagwell to fall to the floor. Chad picks up the gun and Points it at Bagwell.*
Chad: Untie these People....Than Go stand next to your SCUMBAG Mime Of A Brother.
*Anthony Unties the Hostages, They all cheer Except Lance who is still crying. *
Chad: This is just like my Dream....Even the Mime was their. Except No Hot Hostage to make out with.
*The Secretary Winks and Chad Looks Horrified, Chad moves Away from her and Looks at Robert Guillaume.*
Robert Guillaume: Dont even think about it....By The Way, Carlton...
Carlton: Yes Sir.
Robert Guillaume: Ive been working on this Script for a TV Show lately. Its about me And this other guy, And we're Retired. Anyways, Its Kinda like a new Odd Couple...Only theirs a twist. That twist is, Theirs a 20 Year Old Hot Babe Living with us!
Carlton: I Like it...But who can play the other guy?
Anthony: ILL DO IT!
Carlton: Yeah...Like thats gonna happen.
Robert Guillaume: Besides, It needs to be an Older Man.
Chad: Can I Make a suggestion?
*The Scene than cuts to A Living room. Robert Guillaume Is sitting with A Hot Babe On A Couch.*
Hot Babe: You and your friend have been SO Kind to me for letting Me live here.
Robert Guillaume: It was our pleasure Dear.
Hot Babe: Im gonna go take a Hot Bath.
Robert Guillaume: Mind if I Join You?
*Audience Laughs As Anouther Man walks In. That Man is none other than Chad's Landlord, Mr. Baines!*
Mr. Baines: Dont let this Old fart Talk to ya like that.
Robert Guillaume: Who are you calling old? You had a Front row seat to the Signing of the Declaration of Independance.*
Mr. Baines: Well at least it doesnt take me an Hour to get to the Bathroom every morning. It Takes you An Hour and A Half to watch 60 Minutes!
Hot Babe: Oh You Guuuys!
*The Hot Babe goes and puts her arms around Both men as the Audience Applauds*
Director: And....Cut! That was great guys.
*Mr. Baines walks off the set and walks up to Chad And Carlton Douglas Jr.*
Mr. Baines: Thanks Again Chad....I Cant believe im actualy the star of a Sitcom.
Carlton: A Succesful one too. The Ratings are In...And you guys are Number One On Wednesday Nights!
Chad: Congratulations Mr. Baines!
*Mr. Bains smiles and Hugs Chad.*
Mr. Baines: How are you doing by the way? Did you go ahead with your dream?
Chad: *Smiles* I Sure did Mr. Baines....I Sure did.
*Mr. Baines Pats Chad on the back again and walks away. The Cheif than walks up to Chad.*
Chief: Well Doody...I Dont approve of the way you went against my orders. But i must admit...If it wasnt for you, This Mission Would have failed badly.
Chad: Hows Lance doing by the way?
Chief: Well he stopped crying at least. But hes still A Emotional Mess.
Chad: He'll Get over it. Like ive said all along Chief....We're All Human. If anything this will make hims Stronger.
Chief: Well it seems like a Happy ending for everybody.
Chad: Except Bagwell.
Chief: No, Even for him.
Chad: What do you mean Boss?
Chief: Hes finally famous again....
*The Chief Holds up a Copy of the New York Times with "CRAZY EX CHILD STAR KEEPS HOSTAGES".*
Chad: Wow...
Cheif: Theirs also a good part in their about how you stopped him....Of course your name had to be edited out. You are a SECRET Agent afterall. Congratulations Mr. Doody. And expect to be on alot more Missions.
Chad: Thanks Chief
*The Chief shakes Chad's Hand*
Chief: One thing still puzzles me though...
Chad: What is it Chief?
Chief: Whatever happened to that Coke Can Bomb?
Chad: .......Uh Oh......
*Anthony Bagwell and his Brother the Mime are shown in Prison Cell When 2 Guards walk up.*
Guard: We're going to Lunch. Be back in 10 Minutes, Dont start any trouble.
*The Guards Walks out*
Anthony: Man.....3 Hours til Our Lunch. Im Thirsty....
*Anthony Pulls out the Can of Coke from his Pocket*
Anthony: Stole this From Doody.
*Anthony Opens the Can and Takes a drink. He than spits it out.*
Anthony: Talk about Flat...Yuck.
*Anthony throws the Can and suddenly an Explosion happens and Creates a Huge Hole in the prison Wall.*
Anthony: A Bomb?......A BOMB! WE'RE FREE!..........Bro?
*Anthony Looks back at his Brother and sees the Mime standing their With his Hair Standing Staight up and His eyes Wide Open as the Movie ends.*
THE END
Chad Doody - Himself
Chief Johnson - Dana Elcar
Anthony Bagwell - Jason Marsden
Agent Morillo - Michael Shanks
Carlton Douglas Jr. - Matthew Lawrence
Robert Guillaume - Himself
Donny Martin - Will Friedle
Lance Blade - Ted McGinley
Mr. Baines - Don Knotts
Carlton Douglas's Secretary - Suzanne Pleshette
Mime - Ethan Embry
Vince Villan (From Dream Sequence) - Martin Mull
Tracy (From Dream Sequence) - Trish Stratus
Hot Babe In Robert Guillaume's Sitcom - Stacy Keibler
Director In Robert Guillaume's Sitcom - Joseph Revilla
Prison Guard 1 - TF
Prison Guard 2 - EFD
_____________________________________________
*The Movie Opens In A Dark Cold Looking Lab. 2 Feet are shown walking as the camera Slowly goes up revealing the person is Chad Doody wearing a Black Tuxedo and Sunglasses. On the other end of the room You see A Man In An Eyepatch Also wearing a Tuxedo. He is laughing as In front of him is a Beautiful Woman chained to the wall. Chad Sees this, Takes his Sunglasses off and stuffs them in his pocket.*
Chad: Let Her Go...
*The Man in the eyepatch turns around and gets an Angry Look*
Man: Hello Chad Doody
Chad: Hello Vince Villan.
Vince: So we meet again....I Thought my Henchmen Took Care of you.
Chad: *Laughs* Vince Vince Vince....You should have Known 40 or 50 Big Tough Looking Men were No Match for the Worlds greatest Secret Agemt.
Beautiful Woman Chained To Wall: CHAD...HELP!
Chad: Ill Save you Tracy.....But First I Have to Get this very Ugly Man out of my way.
Vince: Well Mr. Doody if thats the way you want it. I Feel i should warn you though...I Am Trained In 32 Different Martial Arts.
Chad: 32? Is that it? I Suppose you Still ride your Bike With training Wheels too.
Vince: DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY SLOW LEARNING......FOR THAT YOU WILL PAY!
Chad: Ive Waited a Long time to fight you Villan.
Vince: Yes....But to get to me you must get through my friends.
*Many Big Men walk In and surround Chad. Chad maintains a confident Look*
Chad: Its time to Rocket...
*5 Minutes later everyone is down on the ground as Chad unties Tracy*
Tracy: Wow....You Just Beat up 200 Men, Vince Villan and His Personal Mime In 5 Minutes. Whyd you beat up the Mime again?
Chad: Every Man dreams of Beating up a Mime....I However, Am A Man of Action.
Tracy: *Smiles* My Hero!
Chad: All In The Days work Maam.
*Chad & Tracy Look into each others eyes and Passionately Kiss. Chad Is than shown In Bed sleeping and Making out with his Pillow. Suddenly the Alarm clock Goes off and Chad wakes up startled and falls out of Bed.*
Chad: *Laying On Floor* Why Is it even In My Dreams, Love always ends In Pain?
*Chad Trys to get up and hears a Bone snap*
Chad: Ow
CHAD VS THE DERANGED CHILD STAR
*The James Bond Theme Plays as An Animated Shadow Chad does Secret Agent Like Things*
*Later On A Man In A Suit with a Briefcase walks into a Building and up to the secretary*
Secretary: Hello, Welcome to The Douglas Television Network How may i help you?
Man: Hi Im Anthony Bagwell, I Have an Appointment with Mr. Douglas.
Secretary: Ok Let me check.
*The Secretary Looks Into the files*
Anthony: Im Sure you probably already recognize me.
Secretary: Im Sorry, I Dont.
Anthony: Oh....Well its been a Long time. I Played The Youngest Son, Toot On "The Swanson Family".
*Secretary Looks Confused*
Anthony: You Know.....The Hit 80s Sitcom.
Secretary: I Only watch Soap Operas......Your name was Toot?
Anthony: Well...It was Cute when i was 5 years Old. My Characters Real name was Thomas, Toot was sort of a Nickname....You Know, Like Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver? *Laughs*
Secretary: Riiiight.....Anyway, I Cant find Your name on the Schedule.
Anthony: What? No, Thats Impossible....
Secretary: Im Sorry Mr Bagwell But you do not have an Appointment Scheduled.
Anthony: Believe Me Lady, This day has been marked on My Calendar For Over A Year. I Am A Very close friend of The Owner of this Channel, Carlton Douglas. He told me Exactly One year ago Today that if i could Come up with a new Idea for a Television show he would Meet Me On This Date To Negociate. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY KEY BACK TO STARDOM!
Secretary: Oh....You Must be refering to Carlton Douglas Sr. He Died 4 Months ago.
Anthony: WHAT? THIS IS TERRIBLE
Secretary: I Know, He Was A Very Nice Man.
Anthony: What?....Ah Yeah whatever. But where does this leave my TV Idea?
Secretary: Well since you did have an Appointment with Mr. Douglas, And their are no other meetings for 3 hours....I Guess you can Meet with The New Owner, Carlton Douglas Jr.
Anthony: Great.
Secretary: His office is the one down at the end of the hallway. You can go right On In.
Anthony: Thank You.
*Anthony Walks down the hallway and into The Office.*
Carlton Douglas Jr: Can I Help you?
Anthony: Hello Mr. Douglas. I Am Anthony Bagwell.
*Anthony Extends his Hand and Carlton shakes it*
Carlton: Hey....Werent you Toot On The Swanson Family?
Anthony: Why Yes I Was.
Carlton: That was one of this stations Highest Rated Programs Of the 1980s.
Anthony: Yes It was....Unfortunately I Havent had that much succes since the show went off the air in 1987.
Carlton: Thats too bad.
Anthony: Yeah Well....I Made decent Money doing Informercials for "Cheese In A Box" And "Inflatable Pants". But Let me assure you sir, Showbusiness has NEVER Left My Heart!
Carlton: Thats good to hear.
Anthony: So Anyway, I had previously made an Appointment with your Father, Im Sorry to hear of his Passing by the way.
Carlton: Yeah.....Not a day goes by that i dont miss Dad. I Rememeber this one time he took me fishing and we...
Anthony: How Nice! Going Back to Business...Your Dad told me if i could come up with a good Idea for a TV Show He would let me Direct, Produce, and Star In It.
Carlton: Did you come up with any ideas?
Anthony: I Sure did Sir! Ok Now Invision this in your head....
*Carlton Nods his head*
Anthony: I Star As An Undercover Cop in this Sitcom Set In New York City. Whats the Outrageous Sitcom Plot you may ask?.....I LIVE WITH A BEAR!
Carlton: A.....Bear?
Anthony: *Smiles* YES!
Carlton: .....And?.....
Anthony: And?.....IM LIVING WITH A BEAR!
*Carlton Gets A Weird Look On His Face*
Anthony: You Know...Me and the bear can have Lots of WACKY Adventures! What do you think?
Carlton: Well Ummmm....
*Anthony is still smiling*
Carlton: Quite Frankly Mr. Bagwell, I Dont even know WHAT To say to that.
Anthony: You Like it Huh?
Carlton: Im Sorry Mr. Bagwell...But im going to have to pass On the offer.
Anthony: What?...But Why?
Carlton: Im going to be honest with you man. Not only is that Plot INCREDIBLY Stupid And Pathetic.....But that May very well Rank up their with "My Mother The Car" and "The Flying Nun" On the List of the stupidest Sitcom Ideas Ever Made.
Anthony: Are you Kidding me? THIS IDEA IS PURE GENIUS!
Carlton: A POLICE MAN LIVING WITH A BEAR IS FAR FROM GENIUS!
Anthony: Come On Mr. Douglas...Ever since the Swanson Family ended My Careers gone down the drain. You were the first one to even recognize me In years!
Carlton: Im Sorry Anthony, And I Would like to help. But this is a TV Station, A Business....If i were to put that crap on the air Our station would be the laughing stock of Television.
Anthony: It doesnt even have to be On During Prime Time. You could air it in the Afternoon....Replace those stupid Benson Reruns.
Carlton: My Favorite Show is Benson....I used to watch it with my Father.
Anthony: BENSONS CRAP!
*Carlton Pushs a Button on his desk*
Carlton: Security....
Anthony: YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THIS CARLTON! YOUR GONNA PAY.....YOUR SECRETARYS GONNA PAY......BENSONS GONA PAY!
*Security Guards Drag Anthony Out*
Anthony: MARK MY WORDS DOUGLAS.....ANTHONY BAGWELL WILL ONCE AGAIN BECOME A HOUSEHOLD NAME!
Carlton: What A Fruitcake....
*The Scene than cuts to The secret headquarters of an Underground Secret Agency Known only as Secret Agent Guys AKA S.A.G. Chad Walks Into Chief Johnson's Office.*
Chief: Ah Good Morning Doody. Have A Good nights sleep?
Chad: Not really sir.
Chief: Let me guess. You Had that Dream where you Single Handedly Save the World, Kiss A Girl and Wake Up Faling out of bed again?
Chad: Yep...Im Craving Adventure Chief. I Havent been on a Mission In Months.
Chief: Well Mr. Doody S.A.G Has Many Agents Employed. Each of them More Experienced, More Intelligent, And More Skilled than you.
Chad: Gee Chief, Thanks for the Encouragement *Rolls Eyes*
Chief: Face it Doody...Your A Good Man, And You Make One HECK Of A Good Strawberry Shortcake....But as a Secret Agent your Not exactly our first Choice for Missions.
Chad: Come On Cheif...No One else was around For that Evil Postal Workers Case and I Saved the day.
Chief: Chad...I Admit you Did an excellent Job their And it Was a Very Important Case. But compared to some of the other ones this Agency Has It was Small Potatoes.
*Chad Looks Sad*
Chief: Now you have a Job here at S.A.G For Life, But your going to have to deal with the fact that their isnt Much action for a Man your Status. If anything you should be happy that you get paid to do absolutely nothing.
Chad: Well Im Not Happy Chief...I Became a Secret agent because i wanted to live the Exciting Life. Being Suave...Saving the world....Getting Chicks.
Chief: Well its not exactly Like it is in the movies Doody. Its not All Glamorous.
*Just than the door Opens and A Man walks In wearing a Tuxedo with Sunglasses Exactly Like Chad In His Dream.*
Chief: Lance Blade....Back from your Mission already?
Lance: Of course Chief. I Saved France from Franklin Grentier In No Time at all, And decided to take some time out to enjoy the sights and Women of France. *Smiles and Winks*
Chief: Excellent Job as usual Lance.
Chad: Not All Glamourous Huh Chief?
Chief: Doody, We sent Lance to France....Hey that rhymes.
Lance: Woah It Does....
Chief: Yes...As i was saying. We sent Lance to France On A Mission. What he wants to do and wear In Between that time is completely up to him. Its not as if we Find him Women and Buy his suits.
Lance: Of course not...My Clothes are Exclusively Tailored in the South Of France. Where do you buy yours Kid?
Chad: Ummm....The South Of......K-Mart.....
Lance: ..............Yes.......Anyway, Chief Im gonna head Home. Just call if you need me for a Mission.
Chief: Ok, Goodbye Lance.
*Lance walks out*
Chad: Its not fair.
Chief: *Sighs* What isnt fair Doody?
Chad: Lance gets all the great Missions.
Chief: Hes Our top Agent. Hes been with us for Over 20 years and Always does His Missions In Amazing Time.
Chad: Chief im teling you...If given the chance I Can do the same thing. I Just need a chance.
Chief: *Takes A Long sigh and Puts his hand On his Forehead* I Know im going to regret this.....But the next Mission i get, I Will give to you.
Chad: Seriously?
Chief: Yes....But If you dont think your capable of it, You Tell me Immediately and i will give it to someone else.
Chad: Im Capable of anything Chief. Im Not the Coffee Boy anymore...Ever since The Postal Worker Mission I Have been preparing and Training for my next One. I Think Youll Be surprised with how much ive learnt.
Chief: Yes well you Better be prepared. In This Line of duty you must take Everything seriously. You Have to Have a Mature Outlook on Life.
*Agent Morillo Walks In*
Agent Morillo: Sir Im Sorry, The Video store was out of Copys of The Little Mermaid.
Chief: Ohhh Just Great. Their Goes My Weekend.
*Chad Raises his eyebrow. The scene than cuts to An Airport. A Large crowd of people are shown walking out of it, including Robert Guillaume. Robert continues to walk until Anthony Bagwell Stands in front of him.*
Anthony: Hello.....BENSON.
Robert: *Laughs* Son My Name is Robert Guillaume, Benson Was just a Character I Played On Television.
Anthony: Right. I Was On A TV Show too.....I Played Toot On The Swanson Family.
Robert: Im Sorry, Im Not familiar with that show. Excuse Me...I Have to Get going.
*Robert walks Away as Anthony stands Looking Mad.*
Anthony: *Whispering* Bensons Gonna Die....
*Later On Robert is sitting In A Restaurant Eating When Anthony walks over to his table.*
Anthony: We Meet Again......BENSON
Robert: Listen Sir...I Tld you, My Name is Robert Guillaume!
Anthony: I Have A Gun!
Robert: *Nervously* Like I Said, The Names Benson.
Anthony: If you want to live i suggest you walk with me out to My Car.
*Robert stands up and Walks with Anthony to His Car outside.*
Anthony: Get In
Robert: Can You please tell me whats going...
Anthony: GET IN!
*Robert gets in the car as does Anthony and the Car drives off. The scene than cuts to Chad's Apartment. Chad is inside Watching TV When the phone rings. Chad answers it.*
Chad: Hello
Voice Of Chief: Doody....Get down to Headquarters Immediately. Your Chance Is Now.
*Chad Gets a Detirmined Look on his face and Hangs up the phone. Chad than runs out. Back st S.A.G The Chief is sitting in His office with Agent Morillo whn Chad walks in.*
Chad: I Came over as Fast as i could.
Chief: Doody...We Have A Mission for you. Lives are On the Line, And You Wil be dealing with A Possible Pshycopath. Do you choose to accept this Mission?
Chad: Yes.
Chief: Very Well. Agent Morillo, Hand him the Documents.
*Agent Morillo Hands Chad a folder. Chad begins to read through them when he sees a Photo of Anthony Bagwell.*
Chad: Anthony Bagwell...
Chief: Your familiar with him?
Chad: Absolutely, Sitcoms Are A Big Interest of mine. Anthony Bagwell played Thomas "Toot" Swanson On The Swanson Family. A Sitcom On The Douglas Television Network, From 1980 To 1987.
Chief: Im Impressed.
Chad: But what does he have to do with this?
Agent Morillo: Mr. Bagwell has Found It very hard to find work Since the show was Cancelled.
Chad: I Dunno....I Found his Cheese In A Box Informercial Pretty entertaining.
Chief: That was a fine product! I Bought One for my Sister for Christmas last year and she absolutely Adored it.
Chad: I Just used Mine Saurday. Im Especially fond of the Gouda.
Chief: I Also Liked....
Agent Morillo: AHEM.....
Chief: Oh Right...Carry On.
Agent Morillo: As i was saying.....It has been very hard for Bagwell to find work since the show was Cancelled. He attempted to Sell A Sitcom Idea to Carlton Douglas Jr. However his Idea was Flatly Turned down By Mr. Douglas.
Chad: What was his idea?
Agent Morillo: A Sitcom about A Police Officer living With A.....Bear.
Chief: My God.....
Agent Morillo: What is it sir?
Chief: A Sitcom with A Police Man living with a Bear......Thats GENIUS!
*Chad & Agent Morillo Both Look at The Chief weird*
Chief: Well I Would enjoy it....
Agent Morillo: Mr. Bagwell suggested Douglas Get rid of Benson and replace the timeslot with his show. Douglas Refused And Bagwell stormed out of Douglas's Office Furious About being turned down. He claimed he would Get revenge On Carlton Douglas, Carlton Douglas's Secretary, And Benson. This was A Week ago today....3 Days ago Witnesses Claimed Robert Guillaume Was seen talking to a strange Man before leaving the restaurant with him. A Tourist was eating at the restaurant and snapped a few Photos of Guillaume As he was a Fan of Benson.
Chad: Who isnt?
Agent Morillo: The Tourist seen Mr. Guillaume Speaking with the strange man And as They left the Tourist followed to catch a few more snapshots of Mr Guillaume. The tourist than noticed the strange man had What appeared to be a gun barely sticking out of his coat Pocket and Noticed Guillaume Seemed to be tremebling. The Tourist turned the Photos Into the Police and the Police forwarded them to me Via E-Mail. After Closely examining and Zooming In on the photos I Noticed The Strange man was None other than Anthony Bagwell.
Chief: Well Done Agent Morillo. I Must say....Your Good.
Agent Morillo: Why Thank You Chief. Im Glad you finally decided to give me some credit.
Chief: Yes....By the way, Your flys Unzipped.
*Agent Morillo Looks annoyed Until he Looks down and Notices his fly really is Unzipped, He zips them back up and Looks embarassed*
Chad: Ok...So Bagwell Kidnapped Robert Guillaume Because The network wouldnt replace Bnson with his show?
Chief: I Told you....You may be dealing with a real Wacko here. Like he yeled out in Douglas's Office he has 3 People he wants revenge on. Obviously He already got Guillaume....We have reason to believe Douglas's Secretary is next To be kidnapped.
Chad: So My Mission is to protect her?
Chief: No. Your Mission is to Stake out near her Apartment Building. Let him Kidnap her, Than follow him. Once you find out where he is going you than Step In and Rescue Guillaume & The Secretary.
Chad: Seems easy enough.
Chief: Well just remember...You Could be dealing with a real wacko here. If your going to go on a case of this Magnitude, You Must first make a stop at the Lab.
Chad: The Lab....Wow......Ive never been their.
Chief: Follow Me.
*Inside the Lab a Scientist is typing on his computer. The High tech Door slides Open as Chad, The Chief & Agent Morillo Walk In.*
Chief: Chad Doody, This is our lab scientist Donny Martin.
Donny: Nice to meet you Agent Doody.
Chad: So your the guy that makes all the Cool Gadgets?
Donny: That Is Correct...Lance Blade has Been on alot of Missions, But im the one that makes all his High tech stuff. But do i get credit for saving the world? NOOOOO
Chief: Martin...
Donny: Yes Sir?
Chief: Shut Up
Donny: Yes Sir.
Agent Morillo: I Explained everything you you earlier Professor Martin. Agent Doody is on the Anthony Bagwell Mission.
Donny: A Very underated Actor. Great salesman too...I Musta bought Cheese In A Box for everyone In My Family for Christmas.
Chief: So what Do you have that can help Agent Doody In this Mission?
Donny: Well Chief....I Think the question is What DONT I Have that can help Agent Doody In This Mission?
*Donny smiles and Walks over to his Vault. He opens it as Everyone Looks In and sees Thousands of Different Gadgets.*
Chad: Wow....
Donny: Preeeety Cool, Isnt It?
*Donny Pulls out A Very Small Device.*
Donny: Now here you have your Standard Tracking device. Its small enough as it is But when Split in two its even smaller. When Bagwells Inside Getting the Secretary you Open the Door to his car and quickly throw this in the back seat. Its so small he'll never notice it. You Keep your half and It will tell you exactly where the Other half is.
*Donny Pulls out A Watch*
Donny: Now Heres a True Classic. Looks like a Normal watch, But will enable you to communicate with us back at Headquarters from anywhere in the world. Long Distance Fee Free!
Chad: Greatness!
*Donny pulls out A Can of coke And hands it to Chad.*
Chad: Thanks Donny, Kinda thirsty.
*Chad is about to open it*
Donny: NO!
*Donny Pulls the Coke Can from Chad*
Donny: This is No regular Can of Coca Cola! Its actually A Highly Explosive Bomb.
*Chad Looks scared*
Donny: Dont worry. The only way to activate it is to Shake the can Up and Open it. After this is done you have Exactly 10 seconds before it blows up.
*Donny Pulls Out A Scooter*
Chad: A Scooter?
Donny: Not just any Scooter. This Baby Has the latest Hover Technology....Just Pull this String By the Handle bar and youll be flying!
Chad: A Scooter isnt exactly the best means of transportation. You couldnt have made a Hover Car.....Or A Hover Bike.....Or A Hover Board?
Donny: What do you think this is, Back To The Future? The Scooter is the perfect size and weight for the Hover Technology. Larger than a Skateboard, But smaller than a Bike. I Find it kinda odd your being picky WHEN YOU SUDDENLY HAVE THE ABILITY TO FLY!
Chad: Alright Alright.....Im Sorry.
Donny: Thats Ok. Its called the Hooter.
Chad: ........Hooter?
Donny: Yeah You Know, Hover Scooter.....Hooter.
*Chad, The Chief & Agent Morillo all look at Donny weird*
Chad: I Am Not gonna ride around on something called the HOOTER...
Donny: Alright fine....The Scoover.
Chad: That'll Work.
Donny: Ok, That should be enough Gadgets to get you through the Mission.
Chad: Thanks Donny.
*Chad, Chief & Agent Morillo all leave*
Donny: ......Hooter *Starts Cracking up Laughing*
*In The Hallway Chad, Chief & Agent Morillo are walking*
Chief: Ok Doody. Bagwell should show up anytime tonight at the Secretarys apartment. Its very important you keep your eyes On Him at ALL Times.
Chad: Dont worry chief. I Have the attention span of An Eagle.
*Chad is shown Behind a Bush sleeping*
Chief's Voice On Chad's Communication Watch: Doody......DOODY.....ARE YOU THEIR?
*Chad wakes up And raises the Communication Watch to his face*
Chad: Yeah Cheif, Im Here.
Chief's Voice: Has Bagwel been to the apartment yet?
Chad: I Hope Not...
Chief's Voice: WHAT?
*Chad Looks and Sees The Secretary Taking her Garbage Out*
Chad: I Mean....No.
Chief's Voice: Ok, Signing Out. And Doody...
Chad: Yes Chief?
Chief's Voice: Dont Screw Up
Chad: I Wont Chief.
*The Chief...Who is back In Donny's Lab and wearing a Dress, A Long Blonde wig and Lipstick Stops talking into the watch and Looks at Donny*
Chief: Ok Donny. Now will you please explain to me why you made me dress like this?
Donny: Well Chief, i Made this Dress for Agent Sarah Watson
Chief: The Extremely Fa......Large Woman?
Donny: Correct. But shes already on a Mission, And Your the only other guy that fits the dress size Of an extremely large Woman.
*Chief Looks Mad*
Donny: Anyways, This is no Ordinary Dress. Its actually filled with Over 50 Different Weapons and Spy Gadgets. Try this for example.
*Donny grabs One of The Chief's Breasts As Chief Looks extremely Uncomfortable.*
Chief: Uhhh Donny...I Dont know what this dress is doing for you, But we're just friends, Ok?
Donny: Chief Chief...Give me some credit. I Like Women, And If I Were to fall For A Man....Rst assured, It Wouldnt be you.
Chief: Oh, So Im Not good enough for you? AM I NOTHING MORE THAN A SEX OBJECT TO YOU?
*Donny Looks Horrified.*
Chief: Sorry.
Donny: Riiiiight. Anyways, The reason i grabbed Their is the Dress actually has Sleeping Gas Built Into that area. Observe.
*Donny grabs The Breast of the Chief again and Squeezes is as Gas comes out. Donny Immediately falls asleep with his head landing On the Chief's Cheast with his hand still On Chief's Breast. Suddenly Agent Morillo Walks In and Looks Horrified after seeing this.*
Agent Morillo: Chief?.....
Chief: Do you mind, Agent Morillo? Donny and I Are experimenting.
*Agent Morillo's Eyes widen*
Agent Morillo: Ex.....Experimenting Sir?
Chief: Yes. Agent Sarah Watson was supposed to do this But shes On A Mission.
Agent Morillo: Sarah Watson? Sir Im....
Chief: Oh Dont worry Morillo, She can Have it when she gets back.
Agent Morillo: But Sir thats.....Absolutely None of my Business. Carry On While I Go Wash my hands....And my eyes.
*Agent Morillo walks out as Donny begins to wake up*
Chief: Whats his Problem?
*Back In The Bush where Chad is staking out In, Chad is sitting And eating a Sandwich when suddenly he sees a Car Pull up in front of the Apartment. Chad Looks out Of the Bush and Sees Anthony Bagwell get out of his car and walk into the apartment. When Bagwell gets in the Building, Chad exits the Bush and swiftly runs behind the Car. Chad slowly Opens the Car door to throw the Tracking device In When suddenly a Loud Alarm Goes off. Chad Panics And runs off As Bagwell comes running out. He Sees Chad running and gets in his Car. Bagwell starts the car and begins chasing Chad down. Chad runs as fast as he can to avoid the Car but the car is coming fast. Chad Looks for a place to try to hide but finds nothing. Out of Desperation Chad Runs the other way, Bagwell Quickly turns the car around and Chases him down. Chad than leaps into the Bush he was Hiding out in before. Anthony Bagwell waits for him With A Look of Pure Anger. Chad than Rides out of the Bush with a Scooter. Bagwell looks On and cant help but laugh.*
Anthony Bagwell: A Scooter? Hes gonna try to escape from me With a Scooter?! Who is this Idiot?
*Bagwell starts up the car again and Begins chasing the Scooter Down. Chad Moves his legs as fast as he can to try to get the Scooter going.*
Chad: Ok....How does this fly again?
*Bagwell's Car catches Up with The Scooter. Chad and the Scooter are Now DIRECTLY In front of the Car. Chad leans back on the Car as the Scooter's Wheels Begin to spark.*
Anthony Bagwell: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG GUY KID...ILL TEACH YOU TO TRY TO STEAL FROM ANTHONY BAGWELL!
*Chad Is still In Panic mode and trying to figure out what to do. He notices the string By the Handle Bar and smiles.*
Chad: Id love To Hang around and Play With you Bagwell, But I Have to catch a flight.
Anthony Bagwell: NICE TRY KID....THE ONLY FLIGHT YOUR GONNA TAKE IS THE ONE ILL GIVE YOU WHEN I.......Ummmmm......WELL YOU GET THE POINT!
*Chad smiles and Pulls the String on the scooter. Chad than begins Moving his foot to get the Scooter going again. The Scooter than begins to fly off as BagwelL Stops the Car And looks Up In Amazement.*
Anthony Bagwell? A Flying....Scooter?
Chad: ITS A SCOOVER!
*Bagwell continues to Look up in Amazment as Chad Flys Off*
Anthony Bagwell: Wow......I Knew Kids toys were advanced nowadays But MAN!
*Bagwell starts the Car up again and drives off. Back at Headquarters Chad is sitting in a Chair Looking Down as Chief stands behind him.*
Chief: I Thought you said you could handle this Doody. Not only did you Fail your Mission, But you completely blew your cover! Than after you left, Bagwell Went on with plan and Kidnapped the Secretary.
Chad: What was i supposed to do Chief? I Tryed to put the tracking device in his car and an Alarm went off. Than he chases me with his car, If i didnt think fast i woulda been Killed.
Chief: Believe me Doody, You were safer off than than you are with me now.
Chad: Chief, What was i supposed to do?
Chief: Well you certainly werent supposed to just OPEN The Car door. You Have been trained By the best Doody, Their are many ways to get into the car by someone like yourself.
Chad: Im Sorry Chief. It was a Mistake.
Chief: Well it was a STUPID Mistake, And it probably cost us the Mission. Luckily their is still One Chance to get him....When he goes after Carlton Douglas Jr.
Chad: I Wont screw up this time Chief.
Chief: Thats right, You Wont. Because im sending Lance Blade. Your Off the Mission.
Chad: WHAT? But Chief...It was only one mistake. I....
Chief: Save it Doody. Theirs No Room for Mistakes in this Line of duty, Especially as big as the one you made. Lance Blade Has been with this Agency for over 20 years and has never made a Mistake.
Chad: STOP IT.....Im Tired of you always comparing me to Lance Blade. Thats not fair, No One is like him. Hes "Perfect"
Cheif: And that is why hes going on the Mission.
Chad: But Chief, I Can Handle this.
Chief: Like you handled it back their with the Scooter?
Chad: Sscoover.
Chief: Whatever. The fact of the matter is, Your off the Mission.
*Chief begins to walk away*
Chad: You cant do this to me sir.
*The Cheif stops and sighs, Than turns around and Looks at Chad*
Chief: Listen Chad....I Like you. I Always have liked you. Your A Nice Kid, And I Like your Attitude. But Missions Like this call for someone with more experience and Knowledge. Beleieve Me, Your going to go on plenty of Missions in the future, But You need some more experience first.
Chad: How am i ever going to get experience if you wont give me a chance?
Chief: LISTEN DOODY....I GAVE YOU A CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT. YOU ARE OFF THIS MISSION AND THATS THAT, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
Chad: Yeah.....Crystal Clear.
*Chad Walks out of the Office Disapointed. Chief Lets out a sigh with a Look as if he feels sorry for Chad, But the Look quickly leaves his Face as he knows he made the right decision. The Chief than turns around and sits at his desk. Back at Chad's Apartment, Chad is sitting on the couch watching TV. Hes still in his Pajamas and eating A Bag of doritos when the doorbell rings. Chad gets up and walks over to the door, Still In A Depressed Mood. Chad opens the door and An Elderly Man In A Blue sweater is standing their.*
Chad: Hi Mr. Baines.
Mr. Baines: Hi Chad, Im Here for the rent.
Chad: Sure, Come On In.
*Chad Walks over to the desk and Pulls out some Money, Than hands it to Mr. Baines*
Mr. Baines: Thanks. Say, Why the Long face?
Chad: Nevermind....You Wouldnt Understand.
Mr. Baines: Well why dont you try me?
Chad: Well....I Cant tell you exactly what. But lets just say i had the chance to do something ive wanted to do for a Long time...And I Made one little Mistake. So Someone told me i couldnt do it anymore And well...Here I Am.
Mr. Baines: I Wouldnt Understand Huh? Believe it or not Kid, Ive been down that same road.
Chad: You Have?
Mr. Baines: Absolutely. As you know, Before i Settled Down And bought this Apartment Building...I Was An Actor.
Chad: Actualky...I Didnt Know that.
Mr. Baines: Oh....Well, I Never really made it far or anything. But I Have made a Few guest apparences On TV Shows, And was even in a Movie.
Chad: Really? Thats Awesome. But why have i never heard of you or seen you in anything?
Mr. Baines: Well like i said, I Never made it big. But at least i made it at all, Which is more than most thought i would make it at all. When i first went Through Acting school...My Teacher told me i couldnt act and would never make it as an Actor.
Chad: He said that? Talk about Harsh....
Mr. Baines: Yeah, Harsh But true. At that Point in time i was TERRIBLE....But i didnt give up. I Went to anouther acting school after that, I Listened to advice from Pros and Paid my dues...And When i made it in that movie, Even though My role was small. Guess Who gave me a call and Congratulated me?
Chad: Who?
Mr. Baines: That same teacher that told me i would never make it in acting. The Point is You May make it big in something, You May Barely make it, And you may not make it at all. But You cant give up on your dream because someone tells you "You Cant". The fact is, At One point EVERYBODY Stunk at what they did.
Chad: Not Lance Blade.
Mr. Baines: Whos Lance Blade?
Chad: Nevermind....
Mr. Baines: Well...Just think about what i said Chad, Your Young Its not too late to Do whatever it is you want to do. And if you fail...At least youll know you tried. Im Sure the person that told you that will be impressed if you continue On.
Chad: Yeah....Well you dont know the guy.
*Mr. Baines smiles and Pats Chad on the back, He than walks out the door. Chad walks back to The couch and starts eating doritos again, He than Pauses as Mr. Baines' Voice comes in his head saying "Its not too late to Do whatever it is you want to do. And if you fail...At least youll know you tried.". Chad thinks for a second.*
Chad: Its Not too late....
*Chad drops the bag of Doritos On the Couch and runs Into his bedroom, The camera than shows Chad's Closet Opening as He Pulls out a Tuxedo Much like Lance Blade's*
Chad: After all the times Ive Tryed this On and Messed around in the Mirror....I Think its finally time i wear this for the Appropriate Occasion.*
*The Mission Impossible Theme Plays as The Camera than shows the floor as Chad's Pajamas go Dropping on the floor. Chad Than Goes outside and Opens his Section of The Apartment Garage Exposing the Scoover. Chad Looks at it, Than Pulls some Sunglasses Out of his Pocket...Much like the ones he wore in his Dream. He than puts them On.*
Chad: Its time to Rocket...
*Outside of The Douglas Television Network Building At Night, Lance Blade is shown standing outside. He Talks into his watch.*
Lance: Bagwells going into the Building Chief. I Have already placed the Tracking Device inside of his Car, Once he leaves with Carlton Douglas Jr Ill follow him in my Porsche to wherever hes keeping everyone.
Chief's Voice: Good Job Lance. Ill Have some Backup for you Close by, All you have to do Is Tell me when and Where and Ill send Them In.
Lance: That wont Be Neccesary Chief.
Chief's Voice: What? Why Not?
Lance: I Can take this guy Chief. After im done ill take the Hostages to safety and hand him over to the Authorities.
Chief's Voice: I Dont think thats a very good idea Blade. This guy can be a real whacko...
Lance: Its Ok Chief, I Can Handle it.
Chief's Voice: But Lance....
*Lance Takes the Communication Watch and Tosses it into the Bush. Lance Walks over to the window and takes a peak In, He also places a Device on the window that enables him to hear inside. Inside Carlton Douglas Jr. Is shown at his desk filling out paperwork When Anthony Bagwell barges In*
Anthony Bagwell: HERES.....TOOT!
Carlton Douglas Jr: Bagwell, What the heck do you think your doing?
Anthony Bagwell: Anything i want. You see, I Run this station now.
Carlton Douglas Jr: *Laughs* What makes you think that?
*Anthony Pulls out a Gun and Points it at Carlton as Carlton gets a Look of Horror*
Anthony: This....Is what makes me think that.
*Anthony smiles as the scene cuts to Outside. Lance runs behind a tree and Hides as Anthony and Carlton are shown walking out of the Building. Anthony has his hand in his pocket and has it up to Carlton's Back. Anthony and Carlton get in Anthony Bagwells car and drive off. Lance hurrys and gets in his Porsche, Only to find Chad sitting in the Passenger seat.*
Lance: Doody? What are you doing here?
Chad: Im going with you.
*Lance sighs*
Lance: Doody, The Chief took you off this Mission. He had direct orders for you not NOT To get Involved.
Chad: Well Lance, You Have two choices. You can either take me back to the Chief So i can Get yelled at, Or We can track down this Maniac before he does anything to hurt the Hostages.*
Lance: *Sighs* Fine....
*Lance starts the car and drives out of the parking lot. He than Follows Anthony Bagwell's Car. Inside Anthony Bagwell's Car Anthony notices Lance's Porsche Behind Him.*
Anthony: That car is following us...
Carlton: Good....Maybe its the Cops. You better Enjoy your freedom while you can Pal, Cause i am DEFINITELY Pressing charges!
Anthony: Nobodys Pressing any Charges. Ill ditch them.
*Anthony starts driving faster and Trys many times to lose Lance. Lance Stops and Pulls into a parking lot.*
Chad: Why are you stopping?
Lance: Its obvious he knows Im after him. Ill Let him think he lost us, Than Use the tracking device to find him.
*Lance and Chad sit in the parking lot a few seconds and Chad lets out a fart. Lance's Face Scrunches up disgusted.*
Chad: Oh What....Youve never farted?
Lance: Yeah.....But Mine never stink.
*Chad rolls his eyes as Lance starts the car again. Lance hands Chad the tracking device.*
Lance: Ill Drive, You Tell me where to go.
*Back At Anthony's Place Robert Guillaume And The Secretary are shown tied Up when Anthony and Carlton walk in.*
Anthony: I Told you id lose them. Sit Down.
Carlton: Listen Bagwell, If its Money you want....
Anthony: SIT DOWN!
*Carlton sits down quickly and Anthony ties him up*
Anthony: Ill tell you all about it Shortly. But if youll excuse me, Its time for Bewitched.
*Anthony walks in the other room.*
Secretary: Mr. Douglas....
Carlton: So thats why you havent been in to work. Whats with this guy?
Robert Guillaume: Its A Long story.
Carlton: Wait...Benson?
Robert Guillaume: My Name is Robert Guillaume, THANK YOU!
Carlton: Sorry...
*Carlton Looks nervous as they all sit their. Outside Down the road, Lance's Porsche Parks. Lance gets out and Chad is about to.*
Lance: You wait out here.
Chad: What? Why?
Lance: Your not even supposed to be on this Mission, But out of Niceness i let you help track the Place. But that where it ends Kid....I Work Alone. Just wait out here...I Wont be long.
*Chad Looks annoyed as Lance walks down the street. Lance sneaks around Bagwell's Yard and Looks in the window. He sees the Hostages tied up, Lance than Goes around to the back and Digs Out of his Pocket, What appears to be a Flashlight. Lance takes the "Flashlight" And Puts it up to the House, Lance than Pushes a button and a Lazer beam comes out. Lance makes a circle with the lazer and Takes a circular chunk out of the House. Lance than crawls In and puts the Part of the wal back. Once inside Lance stands up and turns round only to see Anthony Bagwell standing with a gun.*
Anthony Bagwell: Looking for something?
Lance: How did you know?
Anthony: How did I Know what? I Was sitting right their and seen Part of my wall Being destroyed. You Made one stupid mistake their Bud.
Lance: What? But Im Lance Blade.....I Dont make Mistakes.
Anthony: Yeah Yeah. Theirs a first time for everything, Go sit with the others.
*Bagwell puts the Gun up to Lance's Back and Lance goes and sits down. Back in the Car Chad is sitting annoyed.*
Chad: Forget this...Im Going In.
*Chad Gets out of the Car and sneaks Up to Bagwell's House. Back inside Bagwell is tieing Lance Up to a chair.*
Anthony: That oughta hold you.
Carlton: Why are you doing this? Because i didn accept your stupid show?
Anthony: Mr. Douglas, When you rejected my show...I Got this feeling in my stomach. Th same feeling that i got when i was told The Swanson Family was Cancelled. I Really dont like that feeling Carl...
Carlton: Listen, Im Sorry....
Anthony: LIES..........ALL LIES! You dont care about me Mr. Network Man. *Lance begins to cry* NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME...
Robert Guillaume: I Know I Dont.
Anthony: SHUT UP BENSON!
Robert Guillaume: Will you STOP Calling me that?
*Carlton Looks at Lance who is also crying*
Carlton: Your the Secret Agent here, Do Something.
Lance: I Cant believe I Made a Mistake. I Have NEVER Made a Mistake.
*Lance continues Crying, As does Anthony as Robert Guillaume, Carlton and the Secretary Roll their eyes.*
Anthony: So Mr. Douglas...I Have came up with a Plan. You see, Your going to be joining your Father in Heaven soon. As a matter of fact....All of you are! But first Mr. Douglas, Your going to Write up a Will, Leaving your Television network to ME!
Carlton: Why should i do that?
Anthony: Because if you dont, Ill kill you!
Carlton: Werent you gonna do that anyway?
Anthony: True....THAN ILL KILL ALL OF THEM TOO!
Robert Guillaume: You Blithering Idiot....You Just told us you were going to do that anyway also.
Anthony: Ummm Ummmm..........CRAP!
Secretary: What An Idiot....
*Anthony Points the Gun at the Secretary*
Anthony: SHUT UP!.......Your just like those Critics that Started bashing "The Swanson Family". The same Critics that praised it in its early years....I Still remember all of their cruel comments. "The Actor that Plays Toot is a Pre Teen now...He shouldnt be acting like a little kid." Or My Personal Favorite "Toot Is A Fruit"....Yeah thats real funny. Just because i was getting older i couldnt do what i loved to do anymore?.....THATS BULL! I WAS FREAKIN ADORABLE....AT ANY AGE!
*Carlton, Robert, And The Secretary all Look Scared. Lance continues Crying. Anthony still has the gun up to the secretary.*
Anthony: Im gonna kill you because of those Critics.....
*Anthony points the Gun at Robert Guillaume*
Anthony: Im gonna Kill you for Benson Airing instead of my show.
*Anthony Points the Gun at Carlton*
Anthony: Im gonna Kill you for Turning down my show.
*Anthony Points the gun at Lance*
Anthony: And im gonna Kill you for snooping around where your not welcome.
Lance: *Still Crying* Oh Go Ahead....I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR ANYMORE!
Anthony: I Know how it feels man....Wait, NO I DONT! Because even if you dont write up that Will Douglas, I Will Simply forge it. I Will own the station, Rerun "The Swanson Family" All day, And at night i will show new shows featuring ME! And Nobody can stop me...
Chad's Voice: Well...Except Me!
*Anthony Turns around and Sees Chad standing their. Chad is still wearing the Tux and Sunglasses, However he takes the Sunglasses off and puts them in his pocket.*
Anthony: The Kid on the Flying Scooter?
Chad: Chad Doody...Secret Agent For the S.A.G.
Anthony: S.A.G? Sag? How did you even get in here?
Chad: The Front door....I Was sure you wouldnt expect that. By the way S.A.G Stands for Secret Agent Guys...And Im your worst nightmare.
*Anthony Laughs*
Anthony: Whats A Kid Playing Secret Agent Gonna do to me? Shoot me with his Toy Power Ranger Gun?
*Chad Yakuza Kicks The Gun out of Anthony's Hand and it goes flying. Anthony gets a look of shock.*
Chad: Actually, Im Trained In Many Different variations of Martial Arts.....And My Toy Power Ranger Gun is At Home.
Anthony: Pretty Impressive. But I Did Alot of training for my Celebrity Boxing Match with Barry Williams.....Which May i add, I Won.
Chad: Wow....You Beat Greg Brady. *Rolls Eyes* How Impressive....And Celebrity Boxing? Dude..You KNOW Your Career has gone down the drain when you do that.
Anthony: You Take that back!
Chad: I Dont Wanna...
*Anthony Begins Jumping around like Muhammed Ali*
Anthony: Alright Kid....You asked for it.
*Suddenly a Mime walks in and Looks shocked.*
Chad: Uhhhh
Anthony: Thats My Brother.....Hes A Mime. You got a problem with that?
Chad: Well Maybe I DO!
*The Mime gives Chad a Dirty Look and does a Thing with his hands as if to say "Bring It On". Chad Nods and And runs at the Mime with A Karate Kick, This Knocks the Mime to the other side of the room dazed and laying on the floor, This however buys Anthony Bagwell enough time to pick up the gun he dropped. Chad Looks down at the Mime and smiles when he hears the gun click. Chad than slowly turns around and sees Bagwell wih the gun.*
Anthony: Smooth Moves Kid....Shame i have To Kill you now.
*Anthony Is about to shoot Chad, However Chad gets a detirmined Look and decides to take a risk. Chad runs at Bagwell as fast as he can As fast as he can, And Once again Kicks the gun out of Bagwell's Hand after Dodging a Bullet. Chad than Tripkicks Bagwell causing Bagwell to fall to the floor. Chad picks up the gun and Points it at Bagwell.*
Chad: Untie these People....Than Go stand next to your SCUMBAG Mime Of A Brother.
*Anthony Unties the Hostages, They all cheer Except Lance who is still crying. *
Chad: This is just like my Dream....Even the Mime was their. Except No Hot Hostage to make out with.
*The Secretary Winks and Chad Looks Horrified, Chad moves Away from her and Looks at Robert Guillaume.*
Robert Guillaume: Dont even think about it....By The Way, Carlton...
Carlton: Yes Sir.
Robert Guillaume: Ive been working on this Script for a TV Show lately. Its about me And this other guy, And we're Retired. Anyways, Its Kinda like a new Odd Couple...Only theirs a twist. That twist is, Theirs a 20 Year Old Hot Babe Living with us!
Carlton: I Like it...But who can play the other guy?
Anthony: ILL DO IT!
Carlton: Yeah...Like thats gonna happen.
Robert Guillaume: Besides, It needs to be an Older Man.
Chad: Can I Make a suggestion?
*The Scene than cuts to A Living room. Robert Guillaume Is sitting with A Hot Babe On A Couch.*
Hot Babe: You and your friend have been SO Kind to me for letting Me live here.
Robert Guillaume: It was our pleasure Dear.
Hot Babe: Im gonna go take a Hot Bath.
Robert Guillaume: Mind if I Join You?
*Audience Laughs As Anouther Man walks In. That Man is none other than Chad's Landlord, Mr. Baines!*
Mr. Baines: Dont let this Old fart Talk to ya like that.
Robert Guillaume: Who are you calling old? You had a Front row seat to the Signing of the Declaration of Independance.*
Mr. Baines: Well at least it doesnt take me an Hour to get to the Bathroom every morning. It Takes you An Hour and A Half to watch 60 Minutes!
Hot Babe: Oh You Guuuys!
*The Hot Babe goes and puts her arms around Both men as the Audience Applauds*
Director: And....Cut! That was great guys.
*Mr. Baines walks off the set and walks up to Chad And Carlton Douglas Jr.*
Mr. Baines: Thanks Again Chad....I Cant believe im actualy the star of a Sitcom.
Carlton: A Succesful one too. The Ratings are In...And you guys are Number One On Wednesday Nights!
Chad: Congratulations Mr. Baines!
*Mr. Bains smiles and Hugs Chad.*
Mr. Baines: How are you doing by the way? Did you go ahead with your dream?
Chad: *Smiles* I Sure did Mr. Baines....I Sure did.
*Mr. Baines Pats Chad on the back again and walks away. The Cheif than walks up to Chad.*
Chief: Well Doody...I Dont approve of the way you went against my orders. But i must admit...If it wasnt for you, This Mission Would have failed badly.
Chad: Hows Lance doing by the way?
Chief: Well he stopped crying at least. But hes still A Emotional Mess.
Chad: He'll Get over it. Like ive said all along Chief....We're All Human. If anything this will make hims Stronger.
Chief: Well it seems like a Happy ending for everybody.
Chad: Except Bagwell.
Chief: No, Even for him.
Chad: What do you mean Boss?
Chief: Hes finally famous again....
*The Chief Holds up a Copy of the New York Times with "CRAZY EX CHILD STAR KEEPS HOSTAGES".*
Chad: Wow...
Cheif: Theirs also a good part in their about how you stopped him....Of course your name had to be edited out. You are a SECRET Agent afterall. Congratulations Mr. Doody. And expect to be on alot more Missions.
Chad: Thanks Chief
*The Chief shakes Chad's Hand*
Chief: One thing still puzzles me though...
Chad: What is it Chief?
Chief: Whatever happened to that Coke Can Bomb?
Chad: .......Uh Oh......
*Anthony Bagwell and his Brother the Mime are shown in Prison Cell When 2 Guards walk up.*
Guard: We're going to Lunch. Be back in 10 Minutes, Dont start any trouble.
*The Guards Walks out*
Anthony: Man.....3 Hours til Our Lunch. Im Thirsty....
*Anthony Pulls out the Can of Coke from his Pocket*
Anthony: Stole this From Doody.
*Anthony Opens the Can and Takes a drink. He than spits it out.*
Anthony: Talk about Flat...Yuck.
*Anthony throws the Can and suddenly an Explosion happens and Creates a Huge Hole in the prison Wall.*
Anthony: A Bomb?......A BOMB! WE'RE FREE!..........Bro?
*Anthony Looks back at his Brother and sees the Mime standing their With his Hair Standing Staight up and His eyes Wide Open as the Movie ends.*
THE END